Explanation: This is an alternative to a few scenes and the aftermath of when Sonny fired Jason. I picked it up from Jason leaving Sonny's that day. In other words I've changed lots of little things. I hope you like it, it's a quick one, please let me know. Features Jason, Elizabeth, Courtney, Sonny, Carly, Ric.
Disclaimer: I don't own the players on General Hospital I just like to abuse them as the whim hits me.
Distribution: Just as me first.
Feedback: It makes my muse work and is the only way I get paid.
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90 Degrees Past Dead Center
Part 1
Elizabeth sighed and reached for another dish. The faint strains of music drifted up through the floorboards and in response she set the plate in the bin harder then necessary. Bobbie wasn't going to like the new chip in the plate but who cared. She surely didn't.
Sighing Elizabeth set the bin on the counter and took a seat. Caring seemed to be a problem these days. She didn't seem to care about much of anything and that lack of feeling was beginning to scare her. It scared her enough that she had decided to take action. Standing she reached over the counter and pulled out a manhandled paper, that she had been looking at throughout the dead night at work.
The employment section was open for view, and full of circles. Blue circles signified Port Charles jobs, while black ones signified out of town jobs. 2 to 7, it looked liked leaving Port Charles was winning.
It wasn't that she hadn't thought about leaving Port Charles before now. She had never planned on staying here forever, until she had met Lucky that is. But now she didn't have Lucky, she really didn't have anybody. She was used to being alone, she had been most of her life, but she had to admit that it hurt. She hadn't gotten used to the pain being alone caused her, even though she should be, it was the story of her life after all.
"There's no one keeping me in Port Charles anymore," she muttered aloud and instantly banished the image of crystal blue eyes that appeared in her mind the moment she spoke.
Trying to convince herself of that she began speaking aloud. "Lucky has moved on, Gram has left town, Nikolas and I barely talk, Zander and I barely talk, I'm working in a job I've had since I was 15, and everyone knows I'll cover their shift for them because I have no outside life. Ric has some sort of agenda, so there's no point in pursuing anything with him. In fact there is no point in staying in Port Charles at all."
Again the image of eyes appeared, and again she banished them. Jason Morgan was no longer a factor in her life, therefore he had no factor in her decision.
She was hunched over the paper, picking out which job sounded the best when the hairs on the back of her neck rose. Tensing automatically, she resisted the urge to turn around. When a shiver worked it's way down her back, turning around became unnecessary. She knew who was outside, just on the other side of the door, and in spite of herself, her breathing began to hitch.
The door opened behind her and a cold shaft of air blew through the diner quickly and another shiver danced down her spine. "We're closed," she called out without looking and silence greeted her words.
Nerves had her chewing on the eraser of her pencil, but still he didn't speak. Frustrated more at her reaction, than his actions, Elizabeth spun around to face him. "What do you want Jason?" She asked sharply and hardened her heart to those eyes that seemed to look right through her.
Part 2
"I…" Jason started then fell quiet.
"If you're looking for your girlfriend she's not here. She neglected to show up for work yet again, so that's why I'm stuck working," Elizabeth informed him sharply and turned back to her paper.
"I'm not looking for Courtney, I know where she is."
In spite of her best intentions her grip tightened on the pen at the mention of Courtney's name, still she tried to keep her voice neutral. "Sonny and Carly are downstairs at the wake. It sounds more like a party than a wake, but what would I know I wasn't invited, in fact I was kicked out." And as a result had gotten stuck working when Courtney failed to show up for the umpteenth time.
"I'm not looking for Sonny, I'm looking for you."
Her heart leapt at his words, and she ignored that fact. "We're closed," Elizabeth replied and circled another job offer on the paper.
"Will you look at me please?" Jason asked.
As much as she wanted too, she couldn't ignore the plea she heard in his voice. Slowly she turned around and as usual her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. But this time it was for another reason. He looked like hell. She hadn't seen that hollow look in his eyes in years, in fact the last time she had seen it was when he had been staying in her studio. Again in spite of her best intention her heart went out to him, immediately she tried to harden it. "What?"
"Something happened today and I wanted to tell you about it," Jason began with a soft sigh. "I didn't think I would, but I have to."
"Is everything okay with your grandmother and Emily?" Elizabeth got to her feet in concern.
"They're fine," he hesitated then went on, "this is about me."
"I don't need to hear it. You have your life I have mine. Since I've seen you maybe 3 times in the last 5 months I don't really think you need to keep me informed with what goes on in your life. Heck you never bothered keeping me informed when I was in your life so why start now?" The anger she was getting used to found its way to the forefront and Elizabeth picked up the bin of dishes and moved towards the kitchen.
"Wait please," Jason stepped closer.
As usual she had trouble ignoring a please from Jason, she veered behind the counter and set the bin down. "Okay talk," she crossed her arms over her chest and waited.
"I had a confrontation with Sonny today. He gave me an ultimatum, either I stop seeing Courtney or I get a new job."
Elizabeth struggled to keep her face bland, like her fate wasn't tied up with whatever his answer was. But as much as she tried to deny it, it was, and that infuriated her to no end. It had been months, she should have let him go by now, but she was beginning to wonder if she would ever be able to fully let him go.
"I was surprised that he would go so far. Sonny loved Robin like a sister and had no problem with me dating her, so I couldn't believe he was serious, until he fired me."
Elizabeth felt like she had been sucker punched. Things were that serious between them? It didn't seem possible. How could he be so over her, when she was still missing him? But if Sonny fired him that meant Jason had chosen to be with Courtney, over Sonny. Without a word she picked up the bin and moved into the kitchen.
Part 3
Startled Jason could only watch her walk out. It was sight that he was used to, but hated seeing. She walked away from him a lot and each time she did it felt like she pulled another layer of skin off of him. He could hear the sounds of dishes clattering in the kitchen and knew she was upset. He had a feeling he was going to make her more upset before he was through but he had to continue.
Moving to the door to the kitchen he looked inside. Elizabeth was at the sink her back was facing him. Her posture was stiff, as if she was trying to protect herself. He was opening his mouth to speak, when her back got even stiffer, and he realized she knew he was watching her.
"I'm busy Jason, and I've told you before we're closed, so I would like you to leave."
"Not until we finished this," he replied just as coolly.
Fury made her let go of the plate in her hand and it clattered in the sink, chipping another piece off of it. "We are finished, or I should say we never had anything to finish, at least that's what your girlfriend believes. Gotta wonder where she got that impression."
"What are you talking about?" Her words made him change the subject.
"What didn't she run and whine to you yet?" Elizabeth breezed past him into the diner and headed for the counter and her paper. She was definitely going to find another job out of town now. There was no way she could watch Jason and Courtney being all lovey dovey.
"Elizabeth."
She could hear the warning note in his voice and responded to it. "According to your friend what you and I had only existed in my imagination. I'm paraphrasing but apparently I'm delusional for thinking I meant anything to you." Turning back to her paper she circled a job without reading it, and kept circling it until the paper began to tear.
Jason could tell by her actions that she was hurt, but he had trouble believing her words, he moved until he was standing on the other side of the counter facing her. "Courtney said you never meant anything to me?"
Elizabeth kept circling the want ad annoyed that she had said anything at all. She had not chased after Jason the way Courtney had accused her, and she was damned if she was going to start now. She had her pride, her self-respect and she wasn't going to sacrifice them for Courtney and her delusions.
"You know that's not true right?" When it became apparent that Elizabeth wasn't going to answer Jason sighed in weary frustration. Her actions caught his attention and he focused on the paper. "Are you looking for another job?"
"Your not the only one going through a career change," she answered stiffly.
Jason looked closer at the paper. "Some of these jobs are in California," he raised his eyes to her but only saw the top of her head. "Are you moving?"
"You sound surprised," she peered up at him through her lashes.
"You're leaving town?" The thought of her leaving sent an arrow of pain through his gut.
"There's no reason for me to stay," she shot back defensively when she saw the wounded look in his eyes. "You're not the only one who can leave town you know."
"I know I'm just surprised. What about school and your grandmother? What about your friends?" He asked a little desperately.
With those words, what little hope she had been clinging too disappeared. Tiredly she stepped back from the counter and meticulously began to fold the paper. "I graduated in December, and my Grandmother is traveling abroad for a year. Both of these things you would have known had you bothered trying to keep up with our friendship. But I guess you were too busy. As for my friends I'm sure they will support me, and I'll let them know I'm moving. Unlike some cowards I know I won't just disappear in the middle of the night without a word to anyone."
Jason felt the dart hit home and it sparked a little seed of anger inside of him. "It wasn't like that."
"Who cares what it was like? The friendship we once had no longer exists, so I'm not sure why you are here at all. I asked you to leave, and you refused, so now I'm telling you to get out. If you want comfort over breaking up with Sonny, find your girlfriend I'm sure she'd be only too happy to oblige you, but I'm busy." Angry all over again Elizabeth slapped the paper on the counter and pointed to the door. "Leave."
"I know exactly where Courtney is I just left her," Jason fired back. "After I talked to Sonny, after he fired me I went to see her…"
"I don't want to hear this," Elizabeth interrupted.
"I went to the loft and I could hear her moving on the other side…"
"Stop it Jason I said I don't want to hear this," she interrupted again. The last thing she needed to hear was how happy Courtney was to hear the news and what a joyous time they must have had in the love nest he had bought for them.
Ignoring her warning and the anger in her eyes Jason continued. "I was planning on telling her what had happened with Sonny…"
"Jason I get it, you finally decided to get a life, great, I don't need to hear about it," Elizabeth interjected sharply, desperation was rising inside of her like a tidal wave. She had to get him out of here soon.
"Sonny was convinced that her loving me would get her killed so he wanted her as far from me as possible," again Jason ignored her warning. "When I told him…"
"Shut up Jason," Elizabeth yelled surprising him enough that he did shut up. "You know I never really understood how you could be such close friends with Carly. I thought you two were nothing alike, but I was wrong. Down deep you are just as vindictive and cruel as she is." Moving quickly she headed for the door. "I don't want to hear another word from you, not ever."
Part 4
Elizabeth hurried down Bannister's Wharf heading for the stairs that would take her to her studio. A brisk wind whistled off the water and battered her causing the pinpricks of goose pimples. When she realized she had ran out of her job without her coat, she only got madder at Jason. She heard the sound of heavy footsteps pounding behind her on the wooden planks of the dock and knew Jason was following her. Another cold blast of wind seemingly pierced her skin and she whirled around to face him. "Why won't you leave me alone?"
Jason came to a stop in front of her and automatically took his coat off and held it out to her, but she made no move to take it. "Put the coat on Elizabeth."
"No," she deliberately crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "You've had no trouble acting like I don't exist for months now, so why are you suddenly remembering me? Why don't you go back to running and pretending I don't exist?"
"It wasn't like that," Jason contended. "You walked out on me."
"I once said I never wanted to see you again, how long was it before I came looking for you?" Elizabeth asked tartly.
He recognized the truth in her words and the hand holding out the coat slowly dropped to his side. "There were a lot of things going on."
"Yeah you decided to get a girlfriend, silly me for ever thinking I was in the running." Mortified Elizabeth snapped her mouth closed. She was not going to lose it in front of him. "I'm glad you decided to put yourself first for a change, and I'm sorry you had to lose your job because of it. There I said the words can I go now?"
"I thought you wanted me to get a new job," Jason reminded her.
Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. "Why would you think that? When have I ever said I wanted you to have a new job?"
"You said all I was, was Sonny's enforcer," he reminded her of the words that still haunted him.
"And that means I wanted you to get a new job?" Elizabeth demanded and moved closer. "I know how much your job means to you. It's more than a job to you, it's how you identify yourself, and I would never want to lose it. I remember how devastated you were that winter when you were wondering if you could ever work for Sonny again. I saw how much pain you were in just thinking you couldn't do your job, why would you ever think I'd want you to lose it?"
"You were angry at me because of my job," he pointed out not sure why she was acting like this. She hated his job. That was why she had left him, because she couldn't handle his job.
"Wrong I was angry with you because of the way you chose to hurt me. I was angry because of the way you always used the job to run away from me. But I never wanted you to quit. Asking you to do that would be like you asking me to quit painting, I would never do that to you," shivering more because of his words than the cold she took a step back. "I thought you knew that about me, I guess I was wrong."
He'd just hurt her again, and hated it. All he seemed to do lately was hurt her. He held out his coat again, and wasn't surprised when she shook her head. "You'd rather freeze than take anything from me?"
"Fine," she yanked the coat out of his hands and pulled it on. "Happy?" She held up her hands, hands that weren't visible because of the size of the coat that fell to mid thigh.
"No I'm not," he answered honestly.
Surprised at the vulnerability she saw on his face Elizabeth lowered her arms. "Sonny will come around. He cares about you too much to stay angry for long."
Jason was amazed by her words, a minute ago she was angry at him, and now she was trying to reassure him. She never ceased to amaze him.
Elizabeth tore her gaze from his and took a step back. She wasn't feeling as angry and when she wasn't angry she felt hurt, and she didn't like that. She didn't want to be vulnerable around him, it gave him to much power, turning she headed for her studio.
"Wait," Jason reached out and caught her arm stilling her in her tracks. "Please."
Closing her eyes she dug deep looking for the strength she would need to get through this conversation he seemed determined to have with her. If just the thought of hearing him say he loved Courtney was killing her, how could he have survived all those times she told him how much she loved Lucky? Either he had never felt as much for her as she felt for him, or she ripped his heart out every time she did it. Neither option was appealing to her. But that memory made her stand fast. If she had hurt him all those times, it was only fair to allow him the turnabout … even it killed her. Slowly she turned around. "Say what you want to say Jason."
The two were so intense in their conversation that neither noticed the arrival of a blonde on the far stairs, a blonde who was very interested in the scene below.
Part 5
Now that she was willing to listen Jason was unsure of where he should begin. But some of her earlier words came back to him and he decided to start with them. "You're the one who always ran away from me. You always chose someone else over me, first Lucky, then Zander. You told me that I put Sonny above everyone else, I'm trying not to do that. I'm trying to make my own life."
"I'm not the only one who runs away. Something was beginning to happen between us back when you were staying in my studio. First you left the studio, and then you left town," Elizabeth countered angrily.
"I was dealing with Carly and Sonny...."
"You weren't dealing with anything. The situation got hot so you ran," Elizabeth cut off his words with a wave of her hand. "Things were intense because of Carly sleeping with Sonny, but things were also changing between you and me, and you didn't want to handle that so you left. You're real good at leaving Jason."
"You don't know everything that was going on," Jason sighed heavily.
"You have a pattern Jason, I'm just trying to point it out since you don't seem to want to look at it. I spent months hurting you, hurting Lucky and most of all hurting myself, because I couldn't handle the fact that even though Lucky was back, I still had feelings for you. But you know what? I finally admitted it. I finally admitted that I felt something for you. I admitted it to Lucky, I admitted it to you, and god help me I finally admitted it to myself, and what did you do?" Infuriated she moved closer to him. "You ask me to leave town with you that night. Tell me the truth Jason, was there any part of you that honestly thought I would say yes?"
Startled by her accusations all Jason could do was stare.
"I didn't think so. There were times you knew me better than I knew myself. You knew there was no way that I would leave town with you, so you were safe in asking me to go. You knew I didn't run from things that's your m.o.," her final words turned into a taunt.
"I wasn't running," Jason retorted.
"Oh no? Well you left town after giving me that ultimatum didn't you?"
Jason went to respond then fell quiet when he realized that she didn't know about the bomb being delivered to Sonny. She didn't know the real reason that he had left town. And that was the real reason right?
"Maybe if you hadn't left we could have explored things between us, but you set me up perfectly. I wasn't ready to fully give up on Lucky, and I could only see you if I left town with you, so I had no choice did I?" Weary Elizabeth turned away and sat on the bench. "This time when you ran you stayed in town. And you know what? It still hurts."
Jason settled beside her, as always he felt unsure of what to do when faced with her pain. "What do you mean I ran? You chose to be with Zan..."
"Zander was a mistake, I told you that, we moved past that. We admitted that night in the penthouse that we wanted more from one another," shifting slightly she sought out his eyes. "And then you ran."
"I," he trailed off when he saw the pain in her eyes.
"You chose to let me worry about you, you chose not to confide in me, and when I was angry you chose to let me walk away, and not do anything about it, because you were afraid and you ran. You married Brenda because you were running away from your feelings for me," swallowing hard she forced the next words out. "You went with Courtney because being with her, was another way to run away from me."
The conviction in her eyes forced Jason's focus on the water. He felt like all of his defenses were gone. He once took pride in not lying, and even when he had too, he always believed he never lied to himself. But the truth was exposed. In one wrenching and brief conversation, Elizabeth had ripped away the protective layer, and exposed all the lies that he had been living on the last several months.
Sighing Elizabeth shifted her focus to the water as well. The water beat against the buoy in the distance, hitting it, then falling back, then hitting it again. It was a perfect metaphor for her relationship with Jason.
Silence reigned for several minutes and when Elizabeth broke it, her voice was low and Jason had to strain to hear the words.
"I never felt important enough to you for you to fight for me. Your so busy believing and saying that everyone has a right to choose their own way, you don't seem to realize that sometimes a person needs a nudge to choose what they really want. You never pushed by saying what it is you want from me, you told me what you wanted for me, but you never told me specifically how you felt and what you wanted. You always placed your needs at the back and it left me feeling lost. I need to feel important. I need to know that I'm important enough to you that you will fight, even me, to keep me in your life."
Tired of lying, tired of denying she got slowly to her feet. "But I was wrong. The reason you didn't fight for me was because you didn't want to be with me as badly as I wanted to be with you. But apparently you do want Courtney that badly. You finally found someone that you're willing to fight for. I know I should be big and offer you congratulations, but I'm not that strong, so I think I'll say goodbye instead."
Part 6
"You don't believe in goodbyes," he reminded her hoarsely pushing the words past the lump in his throat.
"Don't do this to me," Elizabeth whispered when she heard the pain in his voice.
Jason got to his feet and moved up behind her. "I don't want to say goodbye to you."
"You have to. Can't you see this is killing me?" Pride gone she turned around and allowed the misery to show on her face. "I need to end this once and for all, and you have to let me. You've moved on, you're with Courtney now. Hell you even left your job for her. I'm moving on as well and you have to let me."
"I didn't chose Courtney," Jason admitted after a long tense minute.
"But…" confused she peered up at him. "You said Sonny fired you."
"He gave me the ultimatum and I was stunned I froze, he took that mean that I chose Courtney and he fired me, kicked out, and when I tried to go back he slammed the door in my face," Jason explained.
"But you said you went to Courtney after this happened," she reminded him a bit desperately as hope began to build inside of her.
"I went to her, because," he hesitated, "because I didn't want to lose everything. I lost you, I lost my job, I didn't want to be alone."
Stunned Elizabeth stepped back and tried to make sense of his words. "You went to her just because you didn't want to be alone? I thought you cared about her."
"I do," he admitted honestly. "I even thought I loved her." He saw Elizabeth flinch as she turned her back on him to study the water. "I got to the door of the loft, and I heard her moving around inside, and then I heard your voice. Accusing me of being Sonny's enforcer first last and always. I heard those words and realized what I had been doing in the last several months. You're right."
That caused her to look at him. "What am I right about?"
"I've been running from you," Jason admitted, swallowed hard and then let the rest out. "And you're right I've been using Courtney to do it."
The blonde on the steps staggered back at those words.
Elizabeth could only shake her head in disbelief. "I don't understand."
"I didn't either, not really, I didn't even realize what I was doing until tonight when I was faced with that closed door, after Sonny kicked me out. I knew that Courtney would welcome me with open arms, but I just couldn't open the door. I kept hearing your words in my head, I kept seeing your face and I realized that," hesitating he wearily rubbed a hand down the side of his face. "I have been running. Running from the pain you caused me, running from the pain I caused you. Running from being alone and nothing. Running from my feelings for you."
With every word Elizabeth felt a little more of her anger slip away. The loss she heard in his voice tugged at her heart, and the words he was saying were somehow very familiar to her.
Jason kept his eyes on Elizabeth waiting her response, trying to gauge her reaction, but for once her face was expressionless and that unnerved him. Her face was normally so full of life. Everything she was feeling, visible in her, what were now curtained, eyes.
"So what you are saying is that you turned into me," Elizabeth murmured finally.
Jason could only frown at her unexpected remark.
"The last time you were in town, I spent most of the time running away from the feelings I had for you. I wasn't supposed to be having those feelings but I did and that scared me to death. It made me run from myself, from you, but I could never stay away could I?" She asked with a ghost of a smile.
He had never thought of it in quite that way before, but he could hear the familiar ring of truth in her words.
"God we're a messed up pair aren't we?"
"I didn't know what I was doing, it hurt," for once he decided not to try to protect her, "you hurt me when you walked out on me like that. Even though I was halfway prepared for it, you still tore my heart out that night."
"I guess we're even then, because you ripped mine out that day too," she ran a shaky hand through her hair. "And don't even start on that I was only doing my job crap, you knew you were setting me up to fail, and you hurt me, deliberately."
The sting of the accusation wasn't painful because he knew it was true. "I know and I'm sorry," his eyes locked on hers. "I am sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I handled things the way that I did. But most of all I'm sorry I ran."
Breaking eye contact she focused on the water. The words she had been waiting months to hear, had finally been said. An apology she was beginning to believe would never come has finally been offered. The only question was, after everything that had happened was it enough?
"Elizabeth?" he prompted after another long silence, risking her wrath he touched her arm to get her attention.
"I suppose I have to say I'm sorry now too. Sorry for doing what you were afraid I'd do and walking out on you. Sorry for being cold to you when you sought me out, lashing out at you in my normal way," she turned to face him finally. "I didn't mean it, I was hurt and I guess I ran too, I always thought we'd talk. But you never came back, you never pressed me, instead you went to Courtney, and I don't know how to understand that."
Watching him flinch she felt compelled to go on. He had started this, so by god she was going to say it all. "I know it's hypocritical of me, but at least when I was confused about my feelings for Lucky and for you, you knew how he fit in my life. You knew what I was fighting, you knew our history and there was history. But Courtney's different, you didn't have that kind of history confusing you like I did, and that's what hurts so bad. You barely knew her yet you chose to be with her instead of with me."
Jason caught her arm before she could walk away. "I'm not proud of this but the truth is, it was easier for me to be with her then pursue you. She couldn't hurt me the way you can. She couldn't hurt me because she didn't mean as much to me as you did, as you still do."
Tears fell from the blonde on the stairs eyes, but still she didn't make her presence known.
Elizabeth's stomach churned and her emotions ran the gamut from relief to just plain weariness. Did she really want to get back on the wild ride that Jason offered? Did she really want to open herself up to being hurt by him again? A thought occurred to her suddenly and she turned on him. "Does Courtney believe you love her?"
Unprepared for the anger in her eyes he nodded and was startled and caught off guard when she punched him in the gut.
Part 7
The air came out of Jason with a whoosh and his hand automatically went to his stomach. Surprise and disbelief had him staring at her for a long minute before he finally found his voice. "Why did you do that?"
"I don't know maybe because I wanted too," Elizabeth snapped angrily trying to shake the throbbing from her hand.
"I told you I thought I loved her," he reminded her a bit defensively.
"It's not just that, although I'm not happy about that either," Elizabeth paced away briefly trying to order her thoughts. "I'm mad at Courtney. I want to be mad at her, but after hearing that," she headed back in his direction. "Damn you Jason you turned her into me."
"What?"
"She thinks you're in love with her, she is building her life around this delusion. In other words she's the me of last winter when I was blindly going to marry Lucky because I believe he loved me." Even after all this time, over a year in fact, the bitter taste of humiliation still rose in her throat when she thought about that time.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," she retorted. "I don't want your pity, Courtney's the one who is going to need that." Angry all over again she paced away, talking while she moved. "I'm mad at Courtney and I have every right to be. She knew we were having problems, but she also knew I was still hung up on you. She pretended to be my friend while she quizzed me about you, about us, about our problems, and the whole time she wanted you for herself. You don't pretend to be someone's friend just to try to take their man away."
When she paced out of range again Jason wisely let her go. He knew when was a good time to speak and when wasn't and this moment definitely was not.
"I have every right to be mad at her and I want to be but after hearing what you've just told me, I can't help but empathize with what she will soon be going through," pausing in front of him she poked him hard in the stomach. "And that's all your fault."
Regretting the night he ever gave her boxing lessons Jason caught her hand before she could hit him again, and kept a firm grip when she tried to pull away. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not the one who needs to hear that," she pointed out. "You have to tell her Jason. Whatever issues I have with her she doesn't deserve to be lied too, not about this, so you have to tell her tonight."
For as long as he knew her and as well as he knew her he realized in that moment that she would always remain a partial mystery to him. She obviously believed what she was saying about Courtney and in spite of that she was still trying to do what was right for her.
"Of course I'm going to tell her." When he saw the doubt in her eyes, it crushed him. "Don't you believe me?"
The wounded look was back in his eyes and Elizabeth shrugged lightly and took a step back when he dropped her hand. "A part of me still thinks that I don't really know you." He flinched at those words but she kept speaking. "The Jason I knew would tell her in a heartbeat, but the Jason I knew would never have let things get so far out of hand, so who is to say what you will do," she sighed bitterly. "Maybe the fault is in me. Maybe once I give someone my loyalty I become blind to who they really are until they hurt me so bad it nearly destroys me."
"You're not blind," his voice was low but it carried the sound of authority. "You want to believe the best about the people you care about, there is nothing wrong with that."
"No I'm not blind," she agreed after a long minute of silence. "I do see people for who they are even if I don't call them on it. Like you, I know who you are. I know what you do for Sonny, but I also know the part of your heart that you keep hidden, and that part is what always drew me back to you."
Jason felt the vise clench tighter around his heart when he heard the past tense in her voice. "Have I killed that part of me for you?"
"I don't know," she answered honestly breaking her heart along with his. "I miss you Jason I really do. I miss the way we were together. But maybe missing each other isn't enough. Every time we tried to be more than friends we were both left devastated. I hurt you terribly, you hurt me. Maybe we've finally come to the point where we have to admit this, agree to be friends, and move on."
Jason had learned a lot during his time away from her. The most important thing being that if he wanted something badly enough sometimes he was going to have to fight for it. This seemed to be one of those times.
"Don't you see it's better this way?" She asked a bit desperately when he said nothing. "It's better to part now as friends, then wind up hating each other."
"I could never hate you." He stated the vow with such authority that she would have no choice but to believe.
"I don't know if I can say…" feeling weary and unsure she took a step back trying to sharpen her focus. "The feelings you arouse in me, the emotions you bring out, they are so intense it scares me. I think this is one of the reasons I always ran away. I don't know if I can promise not to hate you Jason and that is because of this intensity you bring out in me." Mortified that she let so much out she veered back to the subject. "I think it may be better if we just let go and move on," she finished firmly.
Part 8
If there was ever any hope of moving on inside of him it disappeared with her admission. There was no way he was going to let her go, not now anyway. "I don't want to let go," he informed her softly, took a step nearer, and wasn't surprised when she countered with another step back. "I want you in my life Elizabeth and I don't care what I have to do, or who I have to fight, I'm going to keep fighting to keep you in it."
Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise at his unexpected words and the unusual determination she saw in his eyes. The words were said with such conviction and they were ones she'd given up on ever hearing from him. Hearing them now however, sparked her instinct to run.
Jason noted the way her eyes refused to look at him, the way her breathing had hitched and the tension in her body, and pressed his advantage. "I know I've hurt you, and I can't promise you I never will again, no one can make that kind of promise. But I'll do whatever I have to do to convince you to take another chance on me," he moved closer still. "And once you do, you won't be sorry."
The closer he moved the harder it was for her to remember why them trying to be more than friends was a bad thing. As usual his nearness caused everything else to seemingly fade away until there was only him. His presence was both overpowering and comforting at the same time. This was how he always made her feel and as a result she began to get decidedly nervous.
"I want to have my own life and am entitled to have one. Once I knew that and so did Sonny, somewhere along the line we both forgot it, but that's changed." He took another step closing the distance between them. "I want a life outside of what I do for Sonny and more importantly I want you in that life."
Rational thought was fading fast and with every word he uttered a little more of her resolve disappeared. She needed to take a step back and clear her head, this was such a major development she had to process it, but every time she moved Jason countered. The unusual look in his eye, the way his eyes never left hers, she had the distinct feeling she was being hunted. The only problem with this was the fact she wasn't angry about it and she should have been.
Jason recognized the look in her eyes and deliberately shifted in her path. "Awhile ago you accused me of never telling you what it is I want for myself. I'm telling you now I want you in my life."
Elizabeth nervously wet her lips and tried another discreet retreat. "Things c-change," she stuttered when he narrowed the distance between them once again. "We've moved on," she tried again.
"Have you?" Jason reached for her chin, tilting her head up until their eyes met.
"Have I what?"
"Moved on?" He knew he should let go of her face but it had been so very long since he had touched her.
Elizabeth felt his thumb move over the delicate bones of her jaw and ordered herself to step back, but her body refused to move, so the caress went on and he inched closer until she could smell his scent. It was the same one she had dreamed about for years now.
"Have you moved on?" he repeated softly.
"I…" Whatever she would have said faded when the distant sound of firecrackers reached her ear. Dismissing the sound she tried to speak again when Jason's cold expression stopped her. Before the sound had even faded from the docks Jason had picked her up and was moving. Elizabeth's back hit the wall under the Bannister's Wharf sign and she let out a startled yelp. She tied to find her voice and he merely pressed her face into his rock hard chest. His body was pressed tight against hers, his weight pinning her to the wall.
Irritated but not afraid she tried to twist free, and he tightened his hold on her. Gradually she became aware of the rapid beat of his heart, the unusual tension in his body, the way he was standing, almost as if he was shielding her. That realization had barely occurred to her when the faint sounds of screams drifted to her ears. Once she identified the noise as screams, she became scared.
The sound of gunfire faded from the docks but Jason waited another minute before finally stepping back from her, his eyes trained in the direction the shots had come from.
"Jason?" Elizabeth tugged on his hand drawing his focus back on her. "Was that gunfire?"
"Yes," he answered tightly. "I need you to stay here, no go to your studio, lock the door until I call or come by." Already his mind was partitioning. One part was focused on Kelly's where he knew Sonny and Carly were. The other part was on getting Elizabeth to safety. Both parts were of equal importance.
"Wait, did the sound come from Kelly's?" Elizabeth asked before he could move away.
"It sounds like it. Now go to the studio," he ordered and pulled away.
"I can't Lucky and … others are there. I'm going with you," she declared and fell into pace behind him.
Jason turned, took one look at her face and turned around with a muttered curse. "Stay behind me and if I say to run you do it."
Recognizing that order as nonnegotiable Elizabeth quickly agreed and trailed Jason. By now they had reached the entrance to the docks from the street Kelly's was on and she could already see people running from the diner.
A group of obviously terrified people crashed into them separating her from Jason, Elizabeth stumbled and tried to maneuver out of their path. She ended up facing the side alley that ran parallel to Kelly's. A woman suddenly appeared at the mouth of the alley and Elizabeth's eye stayed on the striking African-American woman. Their eyes met for a long moment before the woman turned and disappeared into the night. Dismissing the woman from her thoughts Elizabeth fought her way through people and into Kelly's. She made it inside in time to see Jason disappear down the back hall that led to The Cellar and hurried after him.
Habit had her slowing on the stairs, she could hear the sound of people crying when she cleared the stairs and entered the main room. Jason had come to a stop a few feet inside the room and she frowned at his immobility before her eyes swept the room. She spotted Lucky right away and noted with relief that he was fine. Sonny and Carly were standing by the bar and again she was relieved that they were both fine. She quickly chalked up her relief over Carly being fine due to the possibility the woman might be pregnant.
"Oh my god," Elizabeth hurried past Jason and across the floor when she recognized the man lying on the floor next to the bar. "Ric, oh my god," she could see a red stain spreading across his shirt from his shoulder.
Jason was relieved to see that Sonny and Carly were alright. He had been about to move when Elizabeth had ran past him to Ric. How the hell did she know him?
"Elizabeth," Ric opened his eyes when he felt her hand on his cheek.
"Shh don't move, help is on the way," she looked up and addressed the room. "Did someone call for an ambulance?" Her eyes met Jason and stayed there when she saw the cool look on his face.
Sonny noticed the way Jason and Elizabeth had come in together. He noticed the way Elizabeth was wearing Jason's jacket, and he also noticed the fact that Jason hadn't taken his eyes off of her. He noted all of this and he began to wonder.
Carly also noticed the looks between Jason and Elizabeth and wasn't pleased.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Ric gasped out pulling Elizabeth's attention away from Jason.
Jason's eyes narrowed at that remark and he moved closer not liking the ease Elizabeth seemed to have in touching Ric.
"Don't worry about that now," Elizabeth tried to ease his mind even though the red seeping out from under his jacket was unnerving to her. "Just hang on." She looked up again and her eyes found Jason and there was almost an audible click when their eyes met and held.
They remained looking at each other until Courtney raced down the stairs and wrapped her arms around Jason's waist. Elizabeth looked back down at Ric then, but Jason's eyes remained on hers and he began to wonder, had she moved on?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~
Well that ends this. I just wanted to script my own version of the first cata scene that we in fact got yesterday. It was never intended to be a full fic, I'm on the wrong board for that, just a little idea featuring snippets, and prompted by Seren. All 8 parts of this little thing, was about the length of one of my regular chapters. insert groans or cheers here Anyway I just wanted to set things up in a more interesting way, have them have a conversation long overdue and one that will probably never occur, at least not in this depth and still keep the storyline potential flowing. Sonny, Carly, Courtney all picking up on things but unsure what to do now, Courtney a loose cannon now that she's heard the truth. Elizabeth concerned about Ric, Jason wondering about her and Ric, so many avenues to play with.