*LotR and the Olympics in case you are thinking of suing!
A/N - Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! The evil that is writer's block! *Bangs head against table* Can't think of good ideas!! I apologise in advance of your reading this.
Chapter 11 - Has Frodo been watching too much TV? (Also known as 'Do they have opticians in Middle Earth?')
Day three of the Official Olympics of Middle Earth (A/N - Yes I do know which fic is which!), and once more there was chaos in Olympics central. Gollum refused to stay in his 'cell' in Aragorn's office, and kept trying to escape to experience Sam's cooking.
"Fissssh...... precioussss is sssooo hungry..... fissssh and chipsss from nasssty hobbitses...." said Gollum for about the 357000 time that day. He had been there for three days and was averaging at about a million times per day! So as you can surely imagine, Aragorn was experiencing very high stress levels. He needed someone to supervise Gollum, but who would be brave (or mad) enough to want to look after Gollum? Aragorn thought long and hard.............. before finally coming up with two names: Tigerlily and Audrey. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, the main event of the day was about to take place in the stadium. It was possibly the toughest event (with the exception of archery against Legolas), and so had only two participants to challenge the current title holder (note that this title was from the Middle Earth games in the second age). These participants were Frodo Baggins and an elf called Aldawen of Rivendell, and the event was the long awaited staring contest against Celeborn.
"So are you ready to go Mr Frodo?" said Sam from where they were sat backstage, waiting to go into the main arena. Aldawen the elf was already in the stadium, about to take up her challenge.
"I think so Sam. I mean, how hard can it be?"
"You'd be surprised. And don't forget about the crowd that'll be watching you."
"OK" said Frodo, not at all worried because he didn't really think that he would attract a crowd.
Five minutes later, Aldawen was out of the competition, with a time of four minutes and 57 seconds. It was Frodo's turn.
Frodo stepped into the arena, stunned to see that quite a crowd had turned out to see him and cheer him on. Although, he mused, it could have just been the Legolas fangirls who had turned up early to make sure that they got the best seats for his event later that day.
He approached the place where he was to sit, and looked upon his opposition. Celeborn gazed down on him menacingly, making Frodo quake slightly and stumble onto his chair. The judge of the event stood between the two chairs and reset his timer.
"OK, are you ready?" said the judge person.
"As ready as I'll ever be," said Frodo.
"Bring it on hobbit boy," said Celeborn.
"Then let the event begin."
So they stared. And stared. And stared some more. One minute, two minutes, twenty three minutes, three quarters of an hour............... Even Gollum was starting to fall asleep.
Two hours and fifty eight minutes later. Celeborn looked away.
"Arrrggghh!!!! I just can't take it anymore. I want to go home!" He got up and walked away to find Galadriel.
Frodo just sat there.
"Mr Baggins?" said the judge, "Uh, Mr Baggins? The event's over. You were victorious - you can go now."
Still no response. Frodo's eyes remained wide and glassy.
After five minutes of waiting in vain for Frodo to get up, two officials came into the arena with a stretcher and carried him off to the hospital area.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Frodo? Frodo?" said Pippin as he waved his hand in front of Frodo's face, hoping to induce a reaction - although preferably not a violent one.
The people in the hospital tent had been baffled as to Frodo's condition, saying that this sort of thing normally happened when young elves and children had been watching too much television. They advised the Fellowship to just let him rest it off. And so that was what they were doing. Resting and waiting.
"Do they have opticians in Middle Earth?" said Merry to Aragorn.
"What do you think?"
"Uhhhh..... no?!"
"Got it in one. If only we were nearer the Shire or Rivendell. I know just the plant that would heal this. Or Lord Elrond could work his magic...." Aragorn paused as he took an anxious glance towards his office - where he had left Tigerlily and Audrey playing with Gollum. He wondered if there was any office left, or if it was just a large crater with papers floating around!
"I've got an idea!" said Sam suddenly - making Aragorn jump about a foot and a half into the air. Sam rooted around in his bag (yes that bottomless bag again!) and pulled out a large parcel that smelled suspiciously of.........
"Mushrooms!!!!" said Frodo, sitting up, his eyes returning to normal and a smile appearing on his face.
"Well done Sam!" said Aragorn.
"Yes, very well done," chimed in Gandalf, who had come to see what all the fuss was about, "I couldn't have thought of a better idea myself."
"Tis very high praise indeed sir," said Sam.
"So......" said Frodo, "I have two questions. Did I win, and can I have the mushrooms now?"
"Yes on both counts!" said Aragorn.
"I have a question too!" said Pippin, "What's a television?"
"Fool of a Took!" muttered Gandalf.
The laughter that followed Gandalf's comment was interrupted by a large crash coming from the direction of Aragorn's office. Before anyone could ask 'what was that?' Aragorn had raced upstairs to examine the cause of the commotion.
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The door creaked open and two very red faced, ruffled looking, girls were stood face to face with the King. Gollum was sat in the corner, eating the fish that Sam had cooked him during the excruciatingly long staring contest. Tigerlily and Audrey looked up guiltily, though not without little squeals of delight.
"What has been going on here?" said Aragorn attempting to look authoritative.
"We....uh....." said Audrey.
"We....... gotboredwithGollumbecausehewasbeinggoodandsowedecidedtoraidyourcupboardtoseeiftherewasanythinginterestinginthere...... andthenwefoundyourcrownbuthadanargumentoverwhowouldwearitfirst......" said Tigerlily.
"And that's what the noise was!" Audrey said, finishing off the story.
"Funny isn't it!" said Tigerlily as they edged towards the door.
"Can you please repeat what you said - in English this time..." said Aragorn, looking bemused.
"We got bored with Gollum because he was being good and so we decided to raid your cupboard to see if there was anything interesting in there..... and then we found your crown but had an argument over who would wear it first."
"Except we didn't actually go in your cupboard, because that would be rude!"
"Are we in trouble?" said Tigerlily.
"No. Gollum's enough to send anyone up the wall. You can go now."
Tigerlily turned to leave, with Aragorn and the rest of the Fellowship looking on. She waved at Gollum - who gave a small grunt of acknowledgement. Audrey, however, stood as if she was struggling with a very hard decision. She wavered slightly, before suddenly grabbing Aragorn and giving him a huge hug, and then taking Tigerlily's hand and running off!
"Fissssh...." said Gollum, from his corner of the room.
It had been an interesting day!
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A/N - Bad, bad chapter! Please don't flame - I'm attempting to shake off the writer's block! Things will improve - honest!
Sorry if I have offended you in any way - Audrey and TL, I just thought that you'd written enough reviews between you to feature! I hope that you found it mildly amusing!
The next chapter might take a while to appear because I go back to school tomorrow...... :(
Now press that little purple button before I decide on my next victims to subject to Gollum sitting.......
Thanks!
Rachel xx