A/N - I broke the 40, I broke the 40 *does a little dance, before falling over Frodo style*! Eeeeek! I cannot believe that! If anyone told me that after 11 chapters I would have had 44 reviews, I would have told them they were insane! Sorry, I'm just really excited!
I am SO SO SO SO SORRY for not updating in absolutely ages! I have been so busy with school - plus I celebrated my 18th birthday at the weekend! :)
At the request of various people, this chapter illustrates the archery contest featuring a certain blonde elf! Enjoy!
Chapter 12 - I don't think that the fangirls were supposed to be used for target practice Legolas!
Aragorn walked out into the main arena on a particularly crowded day of the Olympics. The assembled crowd, which consisted mainly of young female inhabitants of Middle Earth (from virtually every race, except the ents: the entwives were still missing at the time of going to press), went wild - chanting incoherent words repeatedly and waving their underwear in the air. The reason for their excitement? Two words: "archery" and "Legolas".
It was, of course, a forgone conclusion that Legolas would win the archery contest. He was far from being the only contestant though, as Frodo was participating, and so were Haldir of Lothlorien, some of Legolas's kinsmen, and Gandalf. (Yes, Gandalf) It was also rumoured that the King himself was due to partake. Either way, no one really expected Legolas to have any real struggle in winning the competition.
It may then come as a surprise to you that Legolas was nervous. Extremely nervous: he had taken to sucking his thumb and curling up in the foetal position in one of the changing rooms backstage. Frodo was sent to comfort him.
"I don't know what you're so worried about Leggy," said Frodo, "Even after all the practice we did I'm still not that good!"
"I'm not worried about that!" said Legolas, although his words weren't quite as clear as that because of the presence of the thumb in his mouth.
"Well then why are you shaking like an ent who's been caught in a hurricane?
"F....fffff.....fff..."
"Spit it out Leggy, I haven't got all day!"
"Fangirls."
"Oh."
"Exactly. The place is swarming, and there's nothing between the stands and the arena to protect me!!!! I'm scared Frodo, hold me."
"Um.... OK." said Frodo, giving his shaky elf friend a hug. "Can't you shoot them if they come near you?"
"Nope. I already asked."
"Dammit! That would have been a fun game!" said Frodo, before imagining the legal implications and changing his mind on the matter.
"Yeah well......"
"Oooh! Oooh! I got a better idea!" said Frodo.
"What? What?" said Legolas, imitating Frodo's excited jumping up and down.
"Imagine them all naked...... oh, no, wait - that's for stage fright."
"Frodo, you halfwit halfling.... that would GIVE me stage fright! Not to mention nightmares and a HUGE counselling bill."
Frodo pondered this idea for a moment, wondering if it worked in reverse. You know, if the fangirls imagined Legolas naked, would they need counselling..... and how easy was it to set up your own counselling group? He and Sam could make a fortune! But then he dismissed it on the grounds that it could never happen!
"Legolas Greenleaf.... you're up next!" said one of the assistants backstage.
"Uh huh..." replied Legolas, "Just give me a minute, I have to fix my hair."
"They'll love you anyway!" said Frodo.
"Good point." said Legolas, "I'll leave the hair as it is."
"You needn't worry anyway, mate," said the assistant (we'll call him John - just so he has a name), "The elf who was just on was so bad that they're wondering whether the poor old dwarf dear he hit will still have both eyes tomorrow."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Legolas looked out into the almost empty centre of the arena he had just entered. The judges table was to one side, approximately 45ยบ to the left of the targets the competitors were expected to hit. The arena was packed, as mentioned before with every race of fangirl imaginable - all of whom started to scream louder than ringthirsty ringwraiths on Weathertop at the sight of their idol.
Legolas took a deep breath and stepped up to his mark, constantly fiddling with his bow to check it was in order. After all, whether it was against the rules or not, he wanted to be able to protect himself if security failed and the fangirls escaped into the main area where he was. He raised his head to scrutinise the target area and waited for the signal.
"When you're ready then Mr Greenleaf," said the judging elf. It was only afterwards that he realised that this was his father.
I'd better get this over with, thought Legolas, before loading and shooting his first arrow of ten.
Pow! Dead centre!
He moved a few paces to the right, where the mark for the second target was. This target was higher and further away. Legolas raised his bow so that his arrow was in line with the target and prepared to shoot. Suddenly, something landing on his head, impairing his sight. Surprised and unprepared for the blindness, he released the arrow. A scream from the crowd informed Legolas that maybe the arrow hadn't gone quite where he wanted.
Thoroughly irritated, Legolas dropped his bow and removed the soft object from his head. Underwear, he noted disgustedly, clean underwear at that, but still underwear. He held up the offending knickers and balled them up in his hand before throwing them at the crowd. The hobbit girl who caught them was shortly taken away by medics to tend the injuries she had received through being crushed.
Having temporarily forgotten why he was stood in the middle of the Olympic arena, Legolas resumed his part in the contest and looked to see where his arrow had landed. He didn't really want to end up in prison for manslaughter, but he couldn't see any screaming fangirls anywhere (well not ones that were screaming in agony anyway). In a last desperate attempt to discover the whereabouts of his arrow, he surveyed the target area, only to discover that, not only had he hit the appropriate target, but he had hit a bullseye!
Fortunately for Legolas, the rest of the event went slightly more smoothly. Well, apart from the arrow that missed because an escaped fangirl chose the very moment he was firing it to grab him tightly round the waist. It's just as well there were no birds flying above the stadium at that moment in time.
As nine of the ten arrows had hit the target in some way (with 8 of them hitting dead centre), Legolas had won the contest. Nobody was really surprised, but the fangirls screamed anyway. After the last contestants had fired their arrows, the prizes were awarded. In last place was Frodo, but he didn't mind because he got an honourable mention and a little rosette for trying hard! One of Legolas' kinsmen from Mirkwood came third and Haldir of Lorien came second. The walked up to the podium and were awarded their respective medals before Legolas joined them. The gold medal was placed carefully around his neck, as not to disturb his hair, and a good 100,000 flash bulbs went off as the fangirls captured their idol's triumphant moment forever. Despite his apprehensions, Legolas smiled appreciatively and waved at the crowd.
What a stupid thing to do.
As he waved, there was a chorus of: "Oh Eru, Legolas just waved at me!!!! Leggy I love you!"
And security failed. Legolas's bow was in the changing room. As the crowds surged into the middle of the arena, he did what any elf in his right mind would do - RUN! The earth shook as the fangirls chased.
Legolas was last sighted somewhere in Fangorn forest. Where the fangirls have gone, I don't know, but Treebeard won't be happy when he sees the state of the trees in Fangorn!
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A/N - Hmmm..... strange ending! Pretty inconclusive really, but I didn't know what else to put!
If you have any ideas for chapter 13 please email them to me. I've already have one story kicked off and I don't want it happening again! If you have any nice things to say or good, constructive criticism, then please write me a review!
I hope that this was something like worth the wait!
Rachel xxx
ps. If you wanted to keep up with my fic "The Fellowship Goes Big Sister!" then please email me or visit my bio page for details of where to find it!