Author's Note: Aerena, you hate almost half of the characters. O_o Striker
likes Dart and Albert, but then again, the only character in LoD Striker
actually hates is Shana. Meru just scares him, he likes Albert, Lavitz,
Dart, and Rose, and all the other characters he doesn't really care one way
or the other. Striker also likes talking about Striker in the third person.
But then again, guys like Striker like all the characters that are good in
combat, while girls... oh hell, Striker's not going to even attempt to
fathom the way women's minds work. Striker gave up on that a long time ago.
Anyway, Striker forgot the disclamer from last chapter, which means that you lucky people get to read not one, but TWO disclamers for this chappy! Enjoy!
Disclamer for Chapter 2: I still don't own LoD, Starbucks, or Zippo Lighters, and I also don't own Mountain Dew (I just worship it for the holy beverage that it is).
Disclamer for Chapter 3: I STILL don't own LoD, Starbucks, Borders, Bill Nye the Science Guy, or Zippo Lighters, and I also don't own Stratego. However, I DO own the Super-Humungo Motortricycle of Doom (note the pretty trademark sign), and Tim, so you can't have it unless you ask first.
Chapter 3
*Striker has returned to a brief visit to his therapist, whose office is now a pile of smoking rubble. However, the late shrink has appeared to have done his job, for the twitching in Striker's eye has been quelled considerably.*
Striker: Lavitz. Status report.
Lavitz: O_o Huh?
Striker: -_- Where is everybody?
Lavitz: Oh. Well, Dart and Haschel are playing Stratego over there and Greham's watching, Lloyd went back to Starbucks, Rose left to find an illegal arms dealer, Meru got bored and decided to spin around in circles for no reason, Albert went back to Borders to find a spellbook so he can resurrect Bill Nye the Science Guy, Kongol went to get more stuffed animals, and Miranda and Doel are terrorizing small children with their colorful language and violent antics.
Striker: What about Shana?
Lavitz: Since when have you given a damn about Shana? Besides, we gave up looking for her a loooong time ago.
Striker: Good. *walks over to the Stratego game, where Dart is beating Haschel very badly*
Haschel: Ha! My 10 takes your 4! *sticks tongue out*
Greham: *has the advantage of being able to see both sides of the board* I wouldn't do that if I were you, old man...
Dart: Too late! My Spy takes your 10! That makes my 10 invincible, since you lost your Spy already and my Miners took out all your bombs!
Haschel: Stupid game! I refuse to be defeated, for I am the War God!
Dart: *isn't really paying attention, due to the fact that he is busy melting Haschel's 10 with Zippo* Whatever you say.
Haschel: I shall not lose! *stuffs all of Dart's pieces into his mouth*
Greham: O_o Dude, those are plastic...
Striker: *shakes head* Don't even bother. He's off in his own world now.
Haschel: *muffled voice* Ha! The War God triumphs! I have won, I... *chokes* *dies*
Striker: Don't you know those pieces are suitable for people under 3 years of age?
Lavitz: I think he's a little older than three.
Striker: Yeah, but he doesn't act like it. What with him and Meru screwing around the whole game.
Greham: I wouldn't know. I got KILLED even before HE did! *jerks thumb at Lavitz*
Striker: You killed his father. What do you expect?
Greham: He was my best friend! I just trusted that &^$%#&^ Doel instead of Servi.
Striker: Why don't you go tell HIM that? *indicates Doel, who is currently butchering a popcorn stand for no reason*
Greham: I think I'll pass...
Striker: *shrugs and goes to keep Doel and Miranda from bringing the complex down on their ears*
Doel: *sends one of his massive swords crashing though the popcorn machine* FOOLS! I SAID EXTRA BUTTER!
Striker: O_o
Miranda: #&^$ %^$#'s that #&%^@# popcorn #*&%^#$#ing *$#$&#@!
Striker: O_o Doel. Chill.
Doel: *sloooowly turns around to face Striker* You mean to defy me?
Striker: Yep.
Doel: *smacks him upside the head* Idiot.
Striker: *smacks him upside the head* Fool.
Doel: *smacks him upside the head* Dunce.
Striker: *smacks him upside the head* Dolt.
Dart: What's the betting?
Lavitz: I bet 20 bucks that they go on for more than an hour.
Dart: Pfft. I bet 30 that they go on for more than two.
Lavitz: No chance! They'll get bored by then. *they shake on it*
*Two hours and 37 minutes later*
Striker: *smacks him upside the head* Foolish tyrant with cerebral brain dysfunction!
Doel: *smacks him upside the head* Uh... *has run out of ideas for synonyms for idiot* Damnit, where's my pansy-ass nephew when I need him?
Striker: WRONG! *bashes Doel's skull in with a sledgehammer*
Doel: Urk... *dies*
Striker: Woohoo! Striker wins! *strikes (pardon the pun) a pose*
Dart: Ha! Pay up!
Lavitz: Damn. I always seem to lose these...
Greham: You would think he would have done that earlier...
Miranda: #$&% @#^$ing #&%$ king #&$@&#!
Striker: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Miranda: *gives Striker the finger*
Striker: Why thank you. *rips off the finger*
Miranda: O_O #&$^!
Striker: Hope you won't be needing this. *feeds it to his mutant salmon/pufferfish/catfish/bass/shark, Tim* Ah, the wonders of gene splicing. Eat up boy!
Miranda: Put that &^#$ing finger back, you #$%^ing &^#$%@!
Striker: *sighs* Fine. *snaps fingers, and Miranda's finger regenerates*
Dart: Is it just me, or was that the most comprehensible sentence she's said in the entire fic so far?
Lavitz: Who cares about that? What's with the mutant fish?
Striker: Who, Tim? Tim is one of my pets! *would pet Tim, but he is covered in pufferfish spines and has catfish whiskers (both of which are poisonous, of course), as well as highly abrasive sharkskin* He also makes a great weapon. Watch! *summons Lenus out of nowhere, then smacks her in the face with Tim* *waits a couple seconds*
Lenus: *screams as her flesh begins to boil* *dies*
Striker: See? FUN!
Lavitz: Did you say it was ONE of your pets?
Striker: *nod* Want me to bring some others? Of course, I shouldn't bring Joe, he's still hungry...
Dart: NO! I... think we're OK for now with... Tim...
Striker: *shrugs* K.
*group wanders off*
************************************************************************
Striker: *riding around on his plastic tricycle while singing the Bicycle Races song* I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein, or Superman, all I wanna do is bicycle! Bicycle! Bicycle!
Greham: You realize that that's a trike, don't you?
Striker: *screeches to a halt, giving Greham a very dangerous look* Yeah. So?
Greham: Well, most kids grow out of those by the time they're four...
Striker: *eyes glow red* FOOL! YOU DARE INSULT ME? *pushes a hidden button and his plastic tricycle transforms into the SUPER-HUMUNGO MOTORTRICYCLE OF DOOM, complete with rocket launchers, machine guns, grenade launchers, and flamethrowers (and many more! Order yours today! O_o).
Greham: O_O
Striker: *rolls over Greham with the monster truck tires*
Greham: *is now a bloody squished mess*
Striker: *snaps fingers and revives Greham*
Greham: Why'd you kill me in the first place if you're just going to revive me?
Striker: Two reasons. First, I needed to test this out. Secondly, if I didn't revive you all after you died, then I'd run out of victims very quickly.
Greham: So I probably would be better off staying dead?
Striker: Probably. Sucks for you.
************************************************************************
Author's Note: Whee! What havoc will Striker wreak with both Tim and the Super-Humungo Motortricycle of Doom? Will Rose ever find an arms dealer? What the hell is Kongol doing with all of those stuffed animals? All these questions will be answered next chappy! No, really, they will.
In case you're wondering how I know a song that is literally ten years older than I am, my best friend has a very extensive collection of extremely odd songs, most of them obscure as well. Just in case you cared. Don't forget to review! Pwease?
Anyway, Striker forgot the disclamer from last chapter, which means that you lucky people get to read not one, but TWO disclamers for this chappy! Enjoy!
Disclamer for Chapter 2: I still don't own LoD, Starbucks, or Zippo Lighters, and I also don't own Mountain Dew (I just worship it for the holy beverage that it is).
Disclamer for Chapter 3: I STILL don't own LoD, Starbucks, Borders, Bill Nye the Science Guy, or Zippo Lighters, and I also don't own Stratego. However, I DO own the Super-Humungo Motortricycle of Doom (note the pretty trademark sign), and Tim, so you can't have it unless you ask first.
Chapter 3
*Striker has returned to a brief visit to his therapist, whose office is now a pile of smoking rubble. However, the late shrink has appeared to have done his job, for the twitching in Striker's eye has been quelled considerably.*
Striker: Lavitz. Status report.
Lavitz: O_o Huh?
Striker: -_- Where is everybody?
Lavitz: Oh. Well, Dart and Haschel are playing Stratego over there and Greham's watching, Lloyd went back to Starbucks, Rose left to find an illegal arms dealer, Meru got bored and decided to spin around in circles for no reason, Albert went back to Borders to find a spellbook so he can resurrect Bill Nye the Science Guy, Kongol went to get more stuffed animals, and Miranda and Doel are terrorizing small children with their colorful language and violent antics.
Striker: What about Shana?
Lavitz: Since when have you given a damn about Shana? Besides, we gave up looking for her a loooong time ago.
Striker: Good. *walks over to the Stratego game, where Dart is beating Haschel very badly*
Haschel: Ha! My 10 takes your 4! *sticks tongue out*
Greham: *has the advantage of being able to see both sides of the board* I wouldn't do that if I were you, old man...
Dart: Too late! My Spy takes your 10! That makes my 10 invincible, since you lost your Spy already and my Miners took out all your bombs!
Haschel: Stupid game! I refuse to be defeated, for I am the War God!
Dart: *isn't really paying attention, due to the fact that he is busy melting Haschel's 10 with Zippo* Whatever you say.
Haschel: I shall not lose! *stuffs all of Dart's pieces into his mouth*
Greham: O_o Dude, those are plastic...
Striker: *shakes head* Don't even bother. He's off in his own world now.
Haschel: *muffled voice* Ha! The War God triumphs! I have won, I... *chokes* *dies*
Striker: Don't you know those pieces are suitable for people under 3 years of age?
Lavitz: I think he's a little older than three.
Striker: Yeah, but he doesn't act like it. What with him and Meru screwing around the whole game.
Greham: I wouldn't know. I got KILLED even before HE did! *jerks thumb at Lavitz*
Striker: You killed his father. What do you expect?
Greham: He was my best friend! I just trusted that &^$%#&^ Doel instead of Servi.
Striker: Why don't you go tell HIM that? *indicates Doel, who is currently butchering a popcorn stand for no reason*
Greham: I think I'll pass...
Striker: *shrugs and goes to keep Doel and Miranda from bringing the complex down on their ears*
Doel: *sends one of his massive swords crashing though the popcorn machine* FOOLS! I SAID EXTRA BUTTER!
Striker: O_o
Miranda: #&^$ %^$#'s that #&%^@# popcorn #*&%^#$#ing *$#$&#@!
Striker: O_o Doel. Chill.
Doel: *sloooowly turns around to face Striker* You mean to defy me?
Striker: Yep.
Doel: *smacks him upside the head* Idiot.
Striker: *smacks him upside the head* Fool.
Doel: *smacks him upside the head* Dunce.
Striker: *smacks him upside the head* Dolt.
Dart: What's the betting?
Lavitz: I bet 20 bucks that they go on for more than an hour.
Dart: Pfft. I bet 30 that they go on for more than two.
Lavitz: No chance! They'll get bored by then. *they shake on it*
*Two hours and 37 minutes later*
Striker: *smacks him upside the head* Foolish tyrant with cerebral brain dysfunction!
Doel: *smacks him upside the head* Uh... *has run out of ideas for synonyms for idiot* Damnit, where's my pansy-ass nephew when I need him?
Striker: WRONG! *bashes Doel's skull in with a sledgehammer*
Doel: Urk... *dies*
Striker: Woohoo! Striker wins! *strikes (pardon the pun) a pose*
Dart: Ha! Pay up!
Lavitz: Damn. I always seem to lose these...
Greham: You would think he would have done that earlier...
Miranda: #$&% @#^$ing #&%$ king #&$@&#!
Striker: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Miranda: *gives Striker the finger*
Striker: Why thank you. *rips off the finger*
Miranda: O_O #&$^!
Striker: Hope you won't be needing this. *feeds it to his mutant salmon/pufferfish/catfish/bass/shark, Tim* Ah, the wonders of gene splicing. Eat up boy!
Miranda: Put that &^#$ing finger back, you #$%^ing &^#$%@!
Striker: *sighs* Fine. *snaps fingers, and Miranda's finger regenerates*
Dart: Is it just me, or was that the most comprehensible sentence she's said in the entire fic so far?
Lavitz: Who cares about that? What's with the mutant fish?
Striker: Who, Tim? Tim is one of my pets! *would pet Tim, but he is covered in pufferfish spines and has catfish whiskers (both of which are poisonous, of course), as well as highly abrasive sharkskin* He also makes a great weapon. Watch! *summons Lenus out of nowhere, then smacks her in the face with Tim* *waits a couple seconds*
Lenus: *screams as her flesh begins to boil* *dies*
Striker: See? FUN!
Lavitz: Did you say it was ONE of your pets?
Striker: *nod* Want me to bring some others? Of course, I shouldn't bring Joe, he's still hungry...
Dart: NO! I... think we're OK for now with... Tim...
Striker: *shrugs* K.
*group wanders off*
************************************************************************
Striker: *riding around on his plastic tricycle while singing the Bicycle Races song* I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein, or Superman, all I wanna do is bicycle! Bicycle! Bicycle!
Greham: You realize that that's a trike, don't you?
Striker: *screeches to a halt, giving Greham a very dangerous look* Yeah. So?
Greham: Well, most kids grow out of those by the time they're four...
Striker: *eyes glow red* FOOL! YOU DARE INSULT ME? *pushes a hidden button and his plastic tricycle transforms into the SUPER-HUMUNGO MOTORTRICYCLE OF DOOM, complete with rocket launchers, machine guns, grenade launchers, and flamethrowers (and many more! Order yours today! O_o).
Greham: O_O
Striker: *rolls over Greham with the monster truck tires*
Greham: *is now a bloody squished mess*
Striker: *snaps fingers and revives Greham*
Greham: Why'd you kill me in the first place if you're just going to revive me?
Striker: Two reasons. First, I needed to test this out. Secondly, if I didn't revive you all after you died, then I'd run out of victims very quickly.
Greham: So I probably would be better off staying dead?
Striker: Probably. Sucks for you.
************************************************************************
Author's Note: Whee! What havoc will Striker wreak with both Tim and the Super-Humungo Motortricycle of Doom? Will Rose ever find an arms dealer? What the hell is Kongol doing with all of those stuffed animals? All these questions will be answered next chappy! No, really, they will.
In case you're wondering how I know a song that is literally ten years older than I am, my best friend has a very extensive collection of extremely odd songs, most of them obscure as well. Just in case you cared. Don't forget to review! Pwease?