Author's Note: Last chapter sucked, I know, but I was running out of ideas,
so I got more inspiration and decided to update extra quick.
Disclamer: Blah blah blah no own LoD blah blah blah blah blah. Clear as mud? Good.
Chapter 5
*The Dragoons, Lloyd, and Striker are all sitting in the office of Striker's new therapist. Dart is the first to be shrinked, so he's on that big couch.*
Dart: Can we just get this over with?
Therapist: Certainly, Mr... Dart?
Dart: Yeah, yeah. Cut the mind games and get to the chase.
Shrink: Very well. According to my reports, you apparently have a serious case of pyromania...
Dart: *lighting the couch on fire* . *sits on the fire so the shrink doesn't see it* I'm insulted that anyone could think such a thing! *pants light on fire* #$^%! PANTS ON FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs in circles*
Striker: Meru, would you mind doing something about that?
Meru: K! *smacks Dart in the face with her hammer*
Dart: *falls over, comatose*
Striker: DAMN IT, MERU! CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO PUT OUT A &#$^ING FIRE?
Meru: *huddles in corner, hiding from the psychotic author*
Striker: *sighs* *puts out fire with Author Magic*
Shrink: Yes... well, let's move on to... Lavitz?
Lavitz: Start flapping. *smoking a cigarette*
Shrink: You appear to have a problem with tobacco...
Lavitz: Really? What was your first clue? THE LIT CIGARETTE IN MY #&$^ING MOUTH?
Shrink: I was about to add that your aggression levels are high...
Lavitz: Probably because I'm dead.
Shrink: I beg your pardon?
Lavitz: I'm dead. Since I was a knight during my lifetime, I am now able to do things such as smoking, enter contests, drink, and all sorts of other immoral activities.
Shrink: I see... *privately adds Delusions of Grandeur to his list* Next is... Albert?
Albert: Begin the pyschoanalyzation, comrade!
Shrink: O_o Yes... You appear to have a preoccupation with knowledge, which causes you to wear on your comrades' nerves.
Albert: That is caused by the fact that they are all undereducated and do not appreaciate the true value of intellectual pursuits. But they are benevolent at heart, so I grace them all with my presence.
Kongol: Pursuits? *grabs axe and chops open a wall* PURSUIT!
Striker: Wrong choice of words, Albert.
Shrink: Moving on to... Rose.
Rose: Be quick about it.
Shrink: You also seem to have problems with aggression, as well as detachment from society.
Rose: Well, I'm dead too, if that counts for anything, and during my 11,000 year lifetime, I saved the world from annihilation by killing girls that would eventually be captured and used in a prophecy to destroy the planet.
Shrink: *adds another case of Delusions of Grandeur to his list* Right, next is... Shana.
Shana: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Shrink: Everyone hates you except Dart... do you have any idea why?
Shana: No! I'm so utterly perfect I have no idea what reason anyone would have to hate me!
Shrink: Ego?
Shana: Me? An ego? Never!
Shrink: Riiiiight... Kongol?
Kongol: What man in chair want?
Shrink: You seem have an inferiority complex due to the fact that you come from an underevolved species.
Kongol: What? Fancy words confuse Kongol. Kongol no like confusion. KONGOL SMASH!
Striker: NO, KONGOL!
Shrink: Yes... Haschel.
Haschel: Yes?
Shrink: You seem to have mild dementia, leading to premature senility.
Haschel: What? I am not! *playing with his dollies*
Shrink: Meru?
Meru: What's up, smart guy?
Shrink: You appear to have a problem with Attention Defecit Hyperactive Disorder. Have you ever considered Ritalin?
Meru: Is that a new kind of candy? Is it sugary?
Shrink: Greham. You have problems about losing your best friend because of your own mistake. You then result to violence. Do you think this could be a form of post traumatic stress?
Greham: My poor friend Servi... he's dead because of HIM! *points at Doel*
Shrink: Let's move on to 'him' then... Doel, you appear to have serious problems with aggression due to the loss of your wife, have you considered the possibility of post traumatic stress?
Doel: No, I'm just a supercool badass. Don't you forget it, punk! If you ever mention my wife again, then I will use my two swords to slice your body into pieces and feed them to Miranda.
Shrink: O_O Right then... Lloyd. You're an egotistical prettyboy who constantly forces his wishes upon other people then wonder why they resent you.
Lloyd: Your point is?
Shrink: Nothing, actually. At least you're sane...
Striker: *snorts* You've never seen him on 26 double lattes.
Shrink: Right, and we finish off with... Miranda.
Miranda: Yes?
Shrink: You are rumored to have a serious problem with colorful language, terrorizing children, and just bitchiness in general.
Striker: Damn, I like this guy! He swears!
Miranda: What would ever give you that idea, Doctor? *wide, innocent eyes*
Shrink: Well, I have a number of reports...
Miranda: No, I have never done such a thing in my entire lifetime!
Striker: *staring at Miranda like he's seen a ghost* *grabs Miranda and starts shaking her* WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MIRANDA? O_O *realization strikes him* *gasps* ALIENS HAVE ABDUCTED MIRANDA IN AN EVIL PLOT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! I SHALL BRING JUDGEMENT UPON YOUR FOUL HEAD, ALIEN! *draws his Magical Toaster of Justice* *runs off*
Dart: What the hell was that about?
Miranda: I honestly have no idea.
Dart: O_O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs off*
************************************************************************
Striker: *running around swinging the Magical Toaster of Justice by its cord* BOW TO ME, FOR I AM THE ALMIGHTY DEFENDER OF JUSTICE, OOKABALOOKASHIKIELATOOKAMASH! Also known as... BOB! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *stops for oxygen break* -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *finds a random person*
Random Person: Who the hell are you?
Striker: YOU DO NOT FOOL ME WITH YOUR CLEVER DISGUISE, ALIEN! THE TOASTER REVEALS ALL! *whacks him with the Magical Toaster of Justice*
Random Person: *turns into an alien* Curse you, Bob! I will defeat you!
Striker: YOU DARE CHALLENGE THE ALMIGHTY BOB! PLUG TAZER! *electrocutes alien with toaster plug*
Alien: *dies*
Striker: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! JUSTICE PREVIALS! *breaks the Caps Lock key from overuse during this chapter* Damn! Now I can't speak loudly. Urg.
Dart: Man... that guy has some serious problems...
Lavitz: Seriously. Maybe we should get Lloyd to keep stealing his Mountain Dew.
Dart: Making him even more annoying than he already is? Nah. Besides, that was in the other fic.
Lavitz: Oh yeah. I want to see what happens when Striker sticks his cape in the shredder.
Kongol: *comes back with his collection of stuffed animals, except they are slightly different*
Dart: Dude... he stuck all the parts on the wrong bodies...
Striker: *gasps as he looks at a walrus-giraffe-tiger* Brilliant... *grabs Kongol's menagerie of mutant plushies and runs off to do some gene splicing*
Kongol: My... plushies... raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg! *grabs his axe and goes off to smash things*
Dart: How come his shout was in lowercase letters?
Lavitz: The Caps Lock key broke, remember?
Dart: Oh yeah...
Lloyd: CAFFINE!
Dart and Lavitz: *sigh*
************************************************************************
Author's Note: Much better. More insanity. Gene splicing. TOASTERS! Stay tuned for more deranged-ness next chapter!
Disclamer: Blah blah blah no own LoD blah blah blah blah blah. Clear as mud? Good.
Chapter 5
*The Dragoons, Lloyd, and Striker are all sitting in the office of Striker's new therapist. Dart is the first to be shrinked, so he's on that big couch.*
Dart: Can we just get this over with?
Therapist: Certainly, Mr... Dart?
Dart: Yeah, yeah. Cut the mind games and get to the chase.
Shrink: Very well. According to my reports, you apparently have a serious case of pyromania...
Dart: *lighting the couch on fire* . *sits on the fire so the shrink doesn't see it* I'm insulted that anyone could think such a thing! *pants light on fire* #$^%! PANTS ON FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs in circles*
Striker: Meru, would you mind doing something about that?
Meru: K! *smacks Dart in the face with her hammer*
Dart: *falls over, comatose*
Striker: DAMN IT, MERU! CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO PUT OUT A &#$^ING FIRE?
Meru: *huddles in corner, hiding from the psychotic author*
Striker: *sighs* *puts out fire with Author Magic*
Shrink: Yes... well, let's move on to... Lavitz?
Lavitz: Start flapping. *smoking a cigarette*
Shrink: You appear to have a problem with tobacco...
Lavitz: Really? What was your first clue? THE LIT CIGARETTE IN MY #&$^ING MOUTH?
Shrink: I was about to add that your aggression levels are high...
Lavitz: Probably because I'm dead.
Shrink: I beg your pardon?
Lavitz: I'm dead. Since I was a knight during my lifetime, I am now able to do things such as smoking, enter contests, drink, and all sorts of other immoral activities.
Shrink: I see... *privately adds Delusions of Grandeur to his list* Next is... Albert?
Albert: Begin the pyschoanalyzation, comrade!
Shrink: O_o Yes... You appear to have a preoccupation with knowledge, which causes you to wear on your comrades' nerves.
Albert: That is caused by the fact that they are all undereducated and do not appreaciate the true value of intellectual pursuits. But they are benevolent at heart, so I grace them all with my presence.
Kongol: Pursuits? *grabs axe and chops open a wall* PURSUIT!
Striker: Wrong choice of words, Albert.
Shrink: Moving on to... Rose.
Rose: Be quick about it.
Shrink: You also seem to have problems with aggression, as well as detachment from society.
Rose: Well, I'm dead too, if that counts for anything, and during my 11,000 year lifetime, I saved the world from annihilation by killing girls that would eventually be captured and used in a prophecy to destroy the planet.
Shrink: *adds another case of Delusions of Grandeur to his list* Right, next is... Shana.
Shana: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Shrink: Everyone hates you except Dart... do you have any idea why?
Shana: No! I'm so utterly perfect I have no idea what reason anyone would have to hate me!
Shrink: Ego?
Shana: Me? An ego? Never!
Shrink: Riiiiight... Kongol?
Kongol: What man in chair want?
Shrink: You seem have an inferiority complex due to the fact that you come from an underevolved species.
Kongol: What? Fancy words confuse Kongol. Kongol no like confusion. KONGOL SMASH!
Striker: NO, KONGOL!
Shrink: Yes... Haschel.
Haschel: Yes?
Shrink: You seem to have mild dementia, leading to premature senility.
Haschel: What? I am not! *playing with his dollies*
Shrink: Meru?
Meru: What's up, smart guy?
Shrink: You appear to have a problem with Attention Defecit Hyperactive Disorder. Have you ever considered Ritalin?
Meru: Is that a new kind of candy? Is it sugary?
Shrink: Greham. You have problems about losing your best friend because of your own mistake. You then result to violence. Do you think this could be a form of post traumatic stress?
Greham: My poor friend Servi... he's dead because of HIM! *points at Doel*
Shrink: Let's move on to 'him' then... Doel, you appear to have serious problems with aggression due to the loss of your wife, have you considered the possibility of post traumatic stress?
Doel: No, I'm just a supercool badass. Don't you forget it, punk! If you ever mention my wife again, then I will use my two swords to slice your body into pieces and feed them to Miranda.
Shrink: O_O Right then... Lloyd. You're an egotistical prettyboy who constantly forces his wishes upon other people then wonder why they resent you.
Lloyd: Your point is?
Shrink: Nothing, actually. At least you're sane...
Striker: *snorts* You've never seen him on 26 double lattes.
Shrink: Right, and we finish off with... Miranda.
Miranda: Yes?
Shrink: You are rumored to have a serious problem with colorful language, terrorizing children, and just bitchiness in general.
Striker: Damn, I like this guy! He swears!
Miranda: What would ever give you that idea, Doctor? *wide, innocent eyes*
Shrink: Well, I have a number of reports...
Miranda: No, I have never done such a thing in my entire lifetime!
Striker: *staring at Miranda like he's seen a ghost* *grabs Miranda and starts shaking her* WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MIRANDA? O_O *realization strikes him* *gasps* ALIENS HAVE ABDUCTED MIRANDA IN AN EVIL PLOT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! I SHALL BRING JUDGEMENT UPON YOUR FOUL HEAD, ALIEN! *draws his Magical Toaster of Justice* *runs off*
Dart: What the hell was that about?
Miranda: I honestly have no idea.
Dart: O_O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *runs off*
************************************************************************
Striker: *running around swinging the Magical Toaster of Justice by its cord* BOW TO ME, FOR I AM THE ALMIGHTY DEFENDER OF JUSTICE, OOKABALOOKASHIKIELATOOKAMASH! Also known as... BOB! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *stops for oxygen break* -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *finds a random person*
Random Person: Who the hell are you?
Striker: YOU DO NOT FOOL ME WITH YOUR CLEVER DISGUISE, ALIEN! THE TOASTER REVEALS ALL! *whacks him with the Magical Toaster of Justice*
Random Person: *turns into an alien* Curse you, Bob! I will defeat you!
Striker: YOU DARE CHALLENGE THE ALMIGHTY BOB! PLUG TAZER! *electrocutes alien with toaster plug*
Alien: *dies*
Striker: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! JUSTICE PREVIALS! *breaks the Caps Lock key from overuse during this chapter* Damn! Now I can't speak loudly. Urg.
Dart: Man... that guy has some serious problems...
Lavitz: Seriously. Maybe we should get Lloyd to keep stealing his Mountain Dew.
Dart: Making him even more annoying than he already is? Nah. Besides, that was in the other fic.
Lavitz: Oh yeah. I want to see what happens when Striker sticks his cape in the shredder.
Kongol: *comes back with his collection of stuffed animals, except they are slightly different*
Dart: Dude... he stuck all the parts on the wrong bodies...
Striker: *gasps as he looks at a walrus-giraffe-tiger* Brilliant... *grabs Kongol's menagerie of mutant plushies and runs off to do some gene splicing*
Kongol: My... plushies... raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg! *grabs his axe and goes off to smash things*
Dart: How come his shout was in lowercase letters?
Lavitz: The Caps Lock key broke, remember?
Dart: Oh yeah...
Lloyd: CAFFINE!
Dart and Lavitz: *sigh*
************************************************************************
Author's Note: Much better. More insanity. Gene splicing. TOASTERS! Stay tuned for more deranged-ness next chapter!