Author's Note: Yes, Shade, Bob is the best name in the entire world. In
fact, my friends and I created Bobism. We worship the Almighty Bob, who, in
case you're wondering, is a twelve-foot tall monkey with wings and a
gigantic sword. O_o We call ourselves the Avatars of Bob. We're thinking of
posting the holy scriptures on the Internet and developing a cult
following. I'm serious.
Anyway, I'm afraid you're a little off track, giggleplex. I am a teenager, but I'm not albino (although I'm not incredibly tanned either), and our basement is too muddy to be inhabitable. I don't watch Jackie Chan movies, but that would explain how I can write descriptive battle scenes so easily (maybe I just have a violent imagination). I am obsessed with RPGs, but I have connections to the outside world, amazingly, but they're mostly through school and basketball. As for my 'unnerving ability to type chapters quickly', I get my homework done very fast, so I have time to write nearly every day. If you need an explaination for anything else, I'm insane. That usually answers any other questions. The Magical Toaster of Justice is not pink. It's... toaster-colored? O_o
Oh, I forgot that I have two other game characters to add to my army of minions. Cybil and Saia join the group, yay! They're both from Tactics Ogre: Knight of Lodis, which would be why you people wouldn't know them. I just finished the game yesterday. The ending's so sad... or at least the one I got was. There's six of them, I think... O_o
Saia: Note to self: Maim crazed author at next opportunity.
Striker: Oh, zip it, daemon boy. Onto the new chapter! (Coffee Mate is flammable? O_o)
Disclamer: I am the muffin man. Need I say anything else?
Chapter 6
*After several hours of alien-bashing, Striker has finally calmed down. Miranda is back to her normal PMSing self, and Kongol is off smashing things over his loss of his collection of stuffed animals. Lloyd's coffee- induced caffine buzz has finally worn off, and Shana has been revived, much to the dismay of everyone else. The Caps Lock key is still broken, which means that poor Striker has to use Shift, so he can't type long sentences of capital letters.*
Striker: OK, I've gathered you all here because I have an important announcement to make. We're leaving.
All: WHAT?
Dart: But that means this fic is over!
Lavitz: *still smoking* How exactly is that a bad thing?
Dart: O_o Good point.
Striker: O_o Who said anything about the fic ending? You people aren't that lucky. We're merely making a change of scenery. You know what that means...
Dart: God no...
Striker: ROAD TRIP! *snaps fingers* *RV appears out of nowhere and falls on Shana* (Yes, I stole that too! Don't sue me, Freefall! I bow to your comedic genius! Same for you, Shade! Don't hurt me! *cowers in corner*)
Shana: *squished*
Striker: Oops. *revives her*
Dart: Isn't that from a different fic?
Striker: *waves hand* Bah, they don't need it anymore. Kyra can just warp them anywhere.
Figure: *stumbles out of the RV* What the hell happened?
Striker: *looks at the figure* Rayen? What the hell are you doing in the RV, you're supposed to be defending Deningrad from the Divine Dragoon!
Rayen: I had to take a leak.
Striker: O_o Dude, you were at the Crystal Palace. I'm sure there's a toilet in there somewhere.
Rayen: It's a nice bathroom. Give me a break.
All minus Rayen: O_o;
Striker: Right...
Dart: Who the hell is this?
Rayen: Hey, you're the guy who was talking to me in the dream!
Dart: O_o What?
Striker: Long story. He's from your world, only 1026 years in the future. Your ghost talks to him in a dream.
Dart: O_O My... ghost? I don't wanna die! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *starts running in circles*
Striker: *sighs and pushes Dart into the RV* Well, I guess you're coming too.
Rayen: Can't you send me back to the right fic? I've got a world to save...
Striker: Bah, no time will pass while you're with us. Besides, now that you're here, I don't feel like sending you back. It will give me opportunities for lots of jokes. So shut up and get in the car.
*Everyone starts to file into the RV, afraid to disobey the author and risk being turned into something nasty.*
Lavitz: Where are we going, anyway?
Striker: Canada!
Lavitz: OooooooK... why?
Striker: I need a moose! I don't have any moose DNA in my gene splicing database. So we're going to Canada! Got a problem with that?
Lavitz: I guess not... who's driving?
Striker: Well, I'm not old enough to drive, and neither is Meru, thank Bob... so, I guess the rest of us will just switch whenever I feel like it.
Lavitz: Oh. OK. Who goes first?
Striker: Erm... *picks a random person* Shana. Just so she'll get killed.
Lavitz: Makes sense to me.
*Several minutes later, the journey to Canada has begun. Shana is driving, while Doel is waiting in the passenger's seat for Shana's inevitable death so he can seize the wheel by force. Striker is drinking Mountain Dew, with Tim in one hand in case Lloyd decides to attempt to raid his soda mini- fridge. Lloyd is sulking in a corner while looking at himself in the nearest mirror. Rose is in the other corner, sharpening her rapier yet AGAIN, while glaring at anyone who dares come within several feet of her. Lavitz is sitting at the table, smoking. Albert is (surprise, surprise) reading. Dart, Greham, Miranda, Rayen, and Meru are watching Lord of the Rings on the tube. Kongol is still mourning his lost plushies, while Haschel is in the bathroom.*
Haschel: Damn, this IS a nice bathroom!
Striker: O_o
Albert: *finishes his twentieth book and tosses it on top of the pile that sits next to him* Erg. Nothing else to saturate my mind with.
Striker: All right, Albert, if you're bored, here's a riddle for you... how can you tell the difference between a black zebra with white stripes and a white zebra with black stripes?
Albert: Oooh! Uh... uh... hmm... *starts thinking that one over*
Striker: That should keep him busy for a while.
Dart: Whee, big volcano! Fiiiiiiiire...
Miranda: #$&% #$%# elf *$&# *&^# volcano &^#$ &^@# ring!
Greham: *sarcastically* Nice to know we've got the real Miranda back.
Rayen: Stay away from me, all of you.
Meru: *starts moving closer to Rayen just to freak him out*
Rayen: . *starts scooting away from the evil Wingly dancer*
Striker: *sees potential mishap* Damage control. *throws a candy bar in front of the TV*
Meru: O_O CANDY! *devours it, then goes back to watching LotR*
Rayen: *breathes sigh of relief*
Shana: Aww... a cute squirrel!
Rabid Flying Squirrel: *jumps into the car, smashing the window, eats Shana's face, then jumps back out of the car*
Doel: Finally! I thought the author would never get on with it. *pitches Shana's body out the window and grabs the wheel* Time to meet your maker, you little shit! *starts chasing the squirrel, attempting to run it over*
Striker: *falls over, spilling his Mountain Dew* &#$%! DOEL!
Rayen: How come swearing is censored in this fic?
Lavitz: 'Cause it's a comedy. Go with it.
Rayen: *shrug*
Doel: *swerves left, squishing the squirrel underneath one of the tires* YES! DIE! *starts laughing maniacally* *accidentally drives off convieniently placed cliff* &^$#!
Striker: *tries using the Caps Lock key so he can manage a decent shout* DaMnIT, DoEL! WaTch wheRE YoU'RE DrIVinG! Erg. Still broken.
Lavitz: Never mind the damn Caps Lock key, just do something about the #$%^ing &^$% cliff!
Striker: Tsk tsk, such language. You're beginning to sound like Miranda.
Miranda: &^#$ %^$# *&^%!
Lavitz: All right, fine! I'm SORRY! Now save us!
Striker: Too late! *RV splashes into the equally convieniently placed ocean*
************************************************************************
Author's Note: Whee, new setting! Review or I'll sic Saia on you! You shouldn't mess with badass daemons with Bloody Cleavers!
Saia: Why exactly should I do what YOU say?
Striker: You follow whoever can defeat you with force, right? Well, here's your force! *smacks him on the head with the Magical Toaster of Justice*
Saia: X_x Go kill nonreviewers. Right. Gotcha.
Anyway, I'm afraid you're a little off track, giggleplex. I am a teenager, but I'm not albino (although I'm not incredibly tanned either), and our basement is too muddy to be inhabitable. I don't watch Jackie Chan movies, but that would explain how I can write descriptive battle scenes so easily (maybe I just have a violent imagination). I am obsessed with RPGs, but I have connections to the outside world, amazingly, but they're mostly through school and basketball. As for my 'unnerving ability to type chapters quickly', I get my homework done very fast, so I have time to write nearly every day. If you need an explaination for anything else, I'm insane. That usually answers any other questions. The Magical Toaster of Justice is not pink. It's... toaster-colored? O_o
Oh, I forgot that I have two other game characters to add to my army of minions. Cybil and Saia join the group, yay! They're both from Tactics Ogre: Knight of Lodis, which would be why you people wouldn't know them. I just finished the game yesterday. The ending's so sad... or at least the one I got was. There's six of them, I think... O_o
Saia: Note to self: Maim crazed author at next opportunity.
Striker: Oh, zip it, daemon boy. Onto the new chapter! (Coffee Mate is flammable? O_o)
Disclamer: I am the muffin man. Need I say anything else?
Chapter 6
*After several hours of alien-bashing, Striker has finally calmed down. Miranda is back to her normal PMSing self, and Kongol is off smashing things over his loss of his collection of stuffed animals. Lloyd's coffee- induced caffine buzz has finally worn off, and Shana has been revived, much to the dismay of everyone else. The Caps Lock key is still broken, which means that poor Striker has to use Shift, so he can't type long sentences of capital letters.*
Striker: OK, I've gathered you all here because I have an important announcement to make. We're leaving.
All: WHAT?
Dart: But that means this fic is over!
Lavitz: *still smoking* How exactly is that a bad thing?
Dart: O_o Good point.
Striker: O_o Who said anything about the fic ending? You people aren't that lucky. We're merely making a change of scenery. You know what that means...
Dart: God no...
Striker: ROAD TRIP! *snaps fingers* *RV appears out of nowhere and falls on Shana* (Yes, I stole that too! Don't sue me, Freefall! I bow to your comedic genius! Same for you, Shade! Don't hurt me! *cowers in corner*)
Shana: *squished*
Striker: Oops. *revives her*
Dart: Isn't that from a different fic?
Striker: *waves hand* Bah, they don't need it anymore. Kyra can just warp them anywhere.
Figure: *stumbles out of the RV* What the hell happened?
Striker: *looks at the figure* Rayen? What the hell are you doing in the RV, you're supposed to be defending Deningrad from the Divine Dragoon!
Rayen: I had to take a leak.
Striker: O_o Dude, you were at the Crystal Palace. I'm sure there's a toilet in there somewhere.
Rayen: It's a nice bathroom. Give me a break.
All minus Rayen: O_o;
Striker: Right...
Dart: Who the hell is this?
Rayen: Hey, you're the guy who was talking to me in the dream!
Dart: O_o What?
Striker: Long story. He's from your world, only 1026 years in the future. Your ghost talks to him in a dream.
Dart: O_O My... ghost? I don't wanna die! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *starts running in circles*
Striker: *sighs and pushes Dart into the RV* Well, I guess you're coming too.
Rayen: Can't you send me back to the right fic? I've got a world to save...
Striker: Bah, no time will pass while you're with us. Besides, now that you're here, I don't feel like sending you back. It will give me opportunities for lots of jokes. So shut up and get in the car.
*Everyone starts to file into the RV, afraid to disobey the author and risk being turned into something nasty.*
Lavitz: Where are we going, anyway?
Striker: Canada!
Lavitz: OooooooK... why?
Striker: I need a moose! I don't have any moose DNA in my gene splicing database. So we're going to Canada! Got a problem with that?
Lavitz: I guess not... who's driving?
Striker: Well, I'm not old enough to drive, and neither is Meru, thank Bob... so, I guess the rest of us will just switch whenever I feel like it.
Lavitz: Oh. OK. Who goes first?
Striker: Erm... *picks a random person* Shana. Just so she'll get killed.
Lavitz: Makes sense to me.
*Several minutes later, the journey to Canada has begun. Shana is driving, while Doel is waiting in the passenger's seat for Shana's inevitable death so he can seize the wheel by force. Striker is drinking Mountain Dew, with Tim in one hand in case Lloyd decides to attempt to raid his soda mini- fridge. Lloyd is sulking in a corner while looking at himself in the nearest mirror. Rose is in the other corner, sharpening her rapier yet AGAIN, while glaring at anyone who dares come within several feet of her. Lavitz is sitting at the table, smoking. Albert is (surprise, surprise) reading. Dart, Greham, Miranda, Rayen, and Meru are watching Lord of the Rings on the tube. Kongol is still mourning his lost plushies, while Haschel is in the bathroom.*
Haschel: Damn, this IS a nice bathroom!
Striker: O_o
Albert: *finishes his twentieth book and tosses it on top of the pile that sits next to him* Erg. Nothing else to saturate my mind with.
Striker: All right, Albert, if you're bored, here's a riddle for you... how can you tell the difference between a black zebra with white stripes and a white zebra with black stripes?
Albert: Oooh! Uh... uh... hmm... *starts thinking that one over*
Striker: That should keep him busy for a while.
Dart: Whee, big volcano! Fiiiiiiiire...
Miranda: #$&% #$%# elf *$&# *&^# volcano &^#$ &^@# ring!
Greham: *sarcastically* Nice to know we've got the real Miranda back.
Rayen: Stay away from me, all of you.
Meru: *starts moving closer to Rayen just to freak him out*
Rayen: . *starts scooting away from the evil Wingly dancer*
Striker: *sees potential mishap* Damage control. *throws a candy bar in front of the TV*
Meru: O_O CANDY! *devours it, then goes back to watching LotR*
Rayen: *breathes sigh of relief*
Shana: Aww... a cute squirrel!
Rabid Flying Squirrel: *jumps into the car, smashing the window, eats Shana's face, then jumps back out of the car*
Doel: Finally! I thought the author would never get on with it. *pitches Shana's body out the window and grabs the wheel* Time to meet your maker, you little shit! *starts chasing the squirrel, attempting to run it over*
Striker: *falls over, spilling his Mountain Dew* &#$%! DOEL!
Rayen: How come swearing is censored in this fic?
Lavitz: 'Cause it's a comedy. Go with it.
Rayen: *shrug*
Doel: *swerves left, squishing the squirrel underneath one of the tires* YES! DIE! *starts laughing maniacally* *accidentally drives off convieniently placed cliff* &^$#!
Striker: *tries using the Caps Lock key so he can manage a decent shout* DaMnIT, DoEL! WaTch wheRE YoU'RE DrIVinG! Erg. Still broken.
Lavitz: Never mind the damn Caps Lock key, just do something about the #$%^ing &^$% cliff!
Striker: Tsk tsk, such language. You're beginning to sound like Miranda.
Miranda: &^#$ %^$# *&^%!
Lavitz: All right, fine! I'm SORRY! Now save us!
Striker: Too late! *RV splashes into the equally convieniently placed ocean*
************************************************************************
Author's Note: Whee, new setting! Review or I'll sic Saia on you! You shouldn't mess with badass daemons with Bloody Cleavers!
Saia: Why exactly should I do what YOU say?
Striker: You follow whoever can defeat you with force, right? Well, here's your force! *smacks him on the head with the Magical Toaster of Justice*
Saia: X_x Go kill nonreviewers. Right. Gotcha.