Author's Note: O_o Yeah, I know this entire fic is pointless. That's why
it's classified as a HUMOR fic. It's SUPPOSED to make you laugh.
O_O *staring at Freefall* Stop reading my mind, woman! *Bob Dole is #1 on our List of People who are Cool Just Because They're Random (we seriously have a list)*
I'm going to try to avoid Canadian stereotypes because I don't know which ones are considered offensive. So yeah. Although there will probably be some lumberjack jokes. I hope nobody's offended by that...
YES! Finally someone on this site who's played Tactics Ogre. I've got three snapdragons. One is Lobelia, the other is just a normal Angel Knight, and then the last one is a Mushus. Alphonse has 522 Strength when he equips the Mushus snap. Meh, I agree, Eleanor is a wuss. But she's gone, so Alphonse can hook up with Cybil. She IS Eleanor's sister, so it's close enough. Besides, she's much hotter anyway.
Saia: *grimaces at the T-Shirt* There's no place for my wings in this thing.
Oh, and by the way, there are going to be an obscene amount of appearances from characters in other games, more than enough for this to be considered a crossover, but I'm NOT going to move it! Ha! I defy the FF.net classification structure! Nyah!
Chapter 7
*Everyone is camped out on the beach where the RV crashed, except for Kongol, who Striker has forced to drag the RV out of the ocean.*
Dart: *grumble grumble* I hate the beach. There's nothing to burn! Everything's so... wet.
Striker: Duh. So where the hell are we?
Lavitz: *checking the map* Well, according to this, we're somewhere on the western coastline...
Striker: How the hell did we get on the coastline?
Lavitz: Well, apparently, instead of bringing an ocean to us, you brought us to the nearest ocean.
Striker: I knew there was something wrong with that spell...
Lavitz: So the author isn't all-powerful...
Striker: *realizes that his position in power in this fic is jepordized if Lavitz doesn't get off that train of thought* Hey, look! It's Rose in a bikini!
Lavitz: *whips around* Where? *goes looking for Rose*
Striker: Sicko. Meh, I don't wanna see what's left of him when Rose is done. Now to get back to... sweet... mother of BOB!
Lloyd: *just came out of the RV in a Speedo* Mwahaha! Behold my prettiness and tremble, puny mortals!
Striker: You're telling me you wear those things by CHOICE?
Lloyd: There's even more of my prettiness to go around! *hugs self*
Striker: *shakes his head and goes off to puke in the seaweed*
Kongol: Mmmph... *finally drags the RV out of the water*
Striker: *comes back from emptying the contents of his stomach* Oh, good! *treats it with author magic so it doesn't rust* Good thing I made sure the doors and windows were air-tight before the RV plunged into the water. Now none of the electronic gizmos have been messed up!
Kongol: *mumbles something*
*A few minutes later, everyone is messing around on the beach. Shana, Miranda, and Rose are all swimming. Dart, Albert, Greham, and Lavitz are making a replica of the Crystal Palace out of sand. Kongol is making sand giraffes, while Doel is waiting for the right opportunity to smash one ('Make a Giganto cry' is one of the top ten things Doel wants to do during his lifetime). Lloyd is prancing around in his almost-nakedness (*gag*). Meru is in Dragoon armor summoning up huge waves to crash into surfers, and Haschel is sleeping like the useless old codger that he is.*
Striker: *takes his kayak out of the RV and walks towards the water*
Lloyd: *runs by in his way-too-tight Speedo*
Striker: *eye twitches* *transforms kayak into aluminum canoe* *beans Lloyd on the head* *insert bell-like clang here*
Lloyd: *falls over due to severe head wound*
Striker: Those things should be illegal. Indecent exposure. *transforms canoe back into kayak*
Greham: *looks up from making the sand-Crystal-Palace* Why do you hate Lloyd so much?
Striker: I don't HATE him, he's just my favorite character to bash. That's why he's always a stuck-up prettyboy who's obsessed with himself in my fics. It gives me an excuse to beat him senseless.
Dart: But pummeling Lloyd is MY job...
Striker: Too bad.
Lavitz: *is paying more attention to Rose in a swimsuit than the sandcastle* What about Shana? You HATE her...
Striker: Yeah, but it's funnier when Shana dies in an accident or gets eaten by a random rabid animal. I just like bashing Lloyd.
Dart: Why?
Striker: He killed Lavitz. Quoth Freefall, 'I hold grudges.'
Dart: Oh.
Albert: *suddenly realizes his cape is on fire* DART!
Dart: *innocent look, hides lighter behind back* What?
Albert: *runs off to douse himself*
*A surfer nearby is hit by a gigantic wave*
Meru: Ha! I hope that hurt, seashell-brain!
Striker: If I get hit by one of those, I swear to Bob I am gonna- *is cut off as he is hit by a tsunami*
Meru: Uh-oh...
Striker: *gets out from under the water, eyes glowing red* I'm gonna KILL YOU! *chases after her with the Bunny Slippers of Fuzzy Death*
Rayen: I still cannot believe that deranged psychopath brought me into existance.
*A few minutes later, the group is back in the RV. Greham is driving, while Rose sits in the passenger seat, waiting for her shift. Striker has seized usage of the TV and is playing Mystic Heroes on his Gamecube. Shana is in the kitchen, doing who-knows-what. Everyone else is lounging about, bored, minus Meru and Lloyd, who are both lying unconscious on the floor. Doel is taking every possible opportunity to step on the prone Winlies.*
Striker: *is trying to beat Level 6-2* Damn Catacombs! Erg, I want to get out of this stage.
Lavitz: Hey, I have a question. Why do you keep Shana alive? She dies every two seconds, what's the point in resurrecting her?
Shana: *comes out of the kitchen* Who wants cookies?
Striker: *pauses Mystic Heroes* That's why.
Lavitz: *shrugs* Works for me.
Meru: *wakes up* I'm BORED! *spots cookies* SUGAR!
Lavitz: *lights a cigarette* What else is new?
Meru: I know! Let's name the RV!
Rayen: What for?
Meru: *death glare*
Rayen: *shuts up*
Dart: Let him decide. *jerks thumb at Striker* It's his fic.
Meru: Good idea! Hey! What should we name the RV?
Striker: *Shiga gets hit by about 6 arrows at once* $#&%!
Meru: ^_^ OK! The RV's name is $#&%!
Albert: O_o Why is our recreational vehicle named after feces?
Lavitz: Just say the word, dude. Shit.
All minus Striker: *gasp*
Striker: *is too busy beating the crap out of a mob of Undead Samurai to censor*
Meru: He said an uncensored swear word! You know what THAT means!
Dart: He must be whacked with the Froggie Stick of Punishment!
Meru: Exactly! *whacks Lavitz with the Froggie Stick of Punishment*
Lavitz: *is turned into a giant frog*
Doel: *evil grin* Excellent. I've never had frog legs... *draws swords*
Froggie Lavitz: O_O
Striker: *Track 9 of his CD of Random Songs comes on* *gasps* It's the Finland Song! *pauses Mystic Heroes and jumps on top of the table, singing loudly* Finland, Finland, Finland! The country where I want to be! Finland, Finland, Finland! It is the place for me!
Rayen: *beating himself on the head as Doel chases around the Froggie Lavitz and the author is singing Monty Python songs at the top of his lungs* Why me?
Author's Note: Chapter over! Will
I swear, I don't hate Lloyd! Don't kill me!
In case you're wondering, I am taking a short break from Rebirth of a Legend to update my humor fics more. Don't forget to review! Now, please excuse me while I go play Mystic Heroes. Weedog!
O_O *staring at Freefall* Stop reading my mind, woman! *Bob Dole is #1 on our List of People who are Cool Just Because They're Random (we seriously have a list)*
I'm going to try to avoid Canadian stereotypes because I don't know which ones are considered offensive. So yeah. Although there will probably be some lumberjack jokes. I hope nobody's offended by that...
YES! Finally someone on this site who's played Tactics Ogre. I've got three snapdragons. One is Lobelia, the other is just a normal Angel Knight, and then the last one is a Mushus. Alphonse has 522 Strength when he equips the Mushus snap. Meh, I agree, Eleanor is a wuss. But she's gone, so Alphonse can hook up with Cybil. She IS Eleanor's sister, so it's close enough. Besides, she's much hotter anyway.
Saia: *grimaces at the T-Shirt* There's no place for my wings in this thing.
Oh, and by the way, there are going to be an obscene amount of appearances from characters in other games, more than enough for this to be considered a crossover, but I'm NOT going to move it! Ha! I defy the FF.net classification structure! Nyah!
Chapter 7
*Everyone is camped out on the beach where the RV crashed, except for Kongol, who Striker has forced to drag the RV out of the ocean.*
Dart: *grumble grumble* I hate the beach. There's nothing to burn! Everything's so... wet.
Striker: Duh. So where the hell are we?
Lavitz: *checking the map* Well, according to this, we're somewhere on the western coastline...
Striker: How the hell did we get on the coastline?
Lavitz: Well, apparently, instead of bringing an ocean to us, you brought us to the nearest ocean.
Striker: I knew there was something wrong with that spell...
Lavitz: So the author isn't all-powerful...
Striker: *realizes that his position in power in this fic is jepordized if Lavitz doesn't get off that train of thought* Hey, look! It's Rose in a bikini!
Lavitz: *whips around* Where? *goes looking for Rose*
Striker: Sicko. Meh, I don't wanna see what's left of him when Rose is done. Now to get back to... sweet... mother of BOB!
Lloyd: *just came out of the RV in a Speedo* Mwahaha! Behold my prettiness and tremble, puny mortals!
Striker: You're telling me you wear those things by CHOICE?
Lloyd: There's even more of my prettiness to go around! *hugs self*
Striker: *shakes his head and goes off to puke in the seaweed*
Kongol: Mmmph... *finally drags the RV out of the water*
Striker: *comes back from emptying the contents of his stomach* Oh, good! *treats it with author magic so it doesn't rust* Good thing I made sure the doors and windows were air-tight before the RV plunged into the water. Now none of the electronic gizmos have been messed up!
Kongol: *mumbles something*
*A few minutes later, everyone is messing around on the beach. Shana, Miranda, and Rose are all swimming. Dart, Albert, Greham, and Lavitz are making a replica of the Crystal Palace out of sand. Kongol is making sand giraffes, while Doel is waiting for the right opportunity to smash one ('Make a Giganto cry' is one of the top ten things Doel wants to do during his lifetime). Lloyd is prancing around in his almost-nakedness (*gag*). Meru is in Dragoon armor summoning up huge waves to crash into surfers, and Haschel is sleeping like the useless old codger that he is.*
Striker: *takes his kayak out of the RV and walks towards the water*
Lloyd: *runs by in his way-too-tight Speedo*
Striker: *eye twitches* *transforms kayak into aluminum canoe* *beans Lloyd on the head* *insert bell-like clang here*
Lloyd: *falls over due to severe head wound*
Striker: Those things should be illegal. Indecent exposure. *transforms canoe back into kayak*
Greham: *looks up from making the sand-Crystal-Palace* Why do you hate Lloyd so much?
Striker: I don't HATE him, he's just my favorite character to bash. That's why he's always a stuck-up prettyboy who's obsessed with himself in my fics. It gives me an excuse to beat him senseless.
Dart: But pummeling Lloyd is MY job...
Striker: Too bad.
Lavitz: *is paying more attention to Rose in a swimsuit than the sandcastle* What about Shana? You HATE her...
Striker: Yeah, but it's funnier when Shana dies in an accident or gets eaten by a random rabid animal. I just like bashing Lloyd.
Dart: Why?
Striker: He killed Lavitz. Quoth Freefall, 'I hold grudges.'
Dart: Oh.
Albert: *suddenly realizes his cape is on fire* DART!
Dart: *innocent look, hides lighter behind back* What?
Albert: *runs off to douse himself*
*A surfer nearby is hit by a gigantic wave*
Meru: Ha! I hope that hurt, seashell-brain!
Striker: If I get hit by one of those, I swear to Bob I am gonna- *is cut off as he is hit by a tsunami*
Meru: Uh-oh...
Striker: *gets out from under the water, eyes glowing red* I'm gonna KILL YOU! *chases after her with the Bunny Slippers of Fuzzy Death*
Rayen: I still cannot believe that deranged psychopath brought me into existance.
*A few minutes later, the group is back in the RV. Greham is driving, while Rose sits in the passenger seat, waiting for her shift. Striker has seized usage of the TV and is playing Mystic Heroes on his Gamecube. Shana is in the kitchen, doing who-knows-what. Everyone else is lounging about, bored, minus Meru and Lloyd, who are both lying unconscious on the floor. Doel is taking every possible opportunity to step on the prone Winlies.*
Striker: *is trying to beat Level 6-2* Damn Catacombs! Erg, I want to get out of this stage.
Lavitz: Hey, I have a question. Why do you keep Shana alive? She dies every two seconds, what's the point in resurrecting her?
Shana: *comes out of the kitchen* Who wants cookies?
Striker: *pauses Mystic Heroes* That's why.
Lavitz: *shrugs* Works for me.
Meru: *wakes up* I'm BORED! *spots cookies* SUGAR!
Lavitz: *lights a cigarette* What else is new?
Meru: I know! Let's name the RV!
Rayen: What for?
Meru: *death glare*
Rayen: *shuts up*
Dart: Let him decide. *jerks thumb at Striker* It's his fic.
Meru: Good idea! Hey! What should we name the RV?
Striker: *Shiga gets hit by about 6 arrows at once* $#&%!
Meru: ^_^ OK! The RV's name is $#&%!
Albert: O_o Why is our recreational vehicle named after feces?
Lavitz: Just say the word, dude. Shit.
All minus Striker: *gasp*
Striker: *is too busy beating the crap out of a mob of Undead Samurai to censor*
Meru: He said an uncensored swear word! You know what THAT means!
Dart: He must be whacked with the Froggie Stick of Punishment!
Meru: Exactly! *whacks Lavitz with the Froggie Stick of Punishment*
Lavitz: *is turned into a giant frog*
Doel: *evil grin* Excellent. I've never had frog legs... *draws swords*
Froggie Lavitz: O_O
Striker: *Track 9 of his CD of Random Songs comes on* *gasps* It's the Finland Song! *pauses Mystic Heroes and jumps on top of the table, singing loudly* Finland, Finland, Finland! The country where I want to be! Finland, Finland, Finland! It is the place for me!
Rayen: *beating himself on the head as Doel chases around the Froggie Lavitz and the author is singing Monty Python songs at the top of his lungs* Why me?
Author's Note: Chapter over! Will
I swear, I don't hate Lloyd! Don't kill me!
In case you're wondering, I am taking a short break from Rebirth of a Legend to update my humor fics more. Don't forget to review! Now, please excuse me while I go play Mystic Heroes. Weedog!