Author's Note: Yes, damn the government for taking away my ability to bash
Winglies. Remember, the RV got teleported to the western coastline and they
drove up to Oregon, and Oregon has Albertson's. Don't ask me how I know
that, I've never even been to Oregon. I'm odd.
Chapter 9
*The RV is steadily back on the road after leaving the Albertson's. Greham is driving, and considerably well at that. Lloyd is taking revenge upon the author by taking every opportunity to flaunt his new invulnerability to bashing. Striker is coming down with a serious case of WBW (Wingly-Bashing Withdrawal), and is slowly sliding towards the cliff of insanity. Albert is still attached to Miranda's midsection, and the Sacred Sister has broken several crowbars in her attempts to detach the king, and is seriously considering surgery, but her hopes were slightly quenched when she learns that Rose is the only qualified doctor on board, whose instrument of extraction is her rapier.*
Lavitz: How the hell did you get a medical license?
Rose: *death glare*
Doel: *munching on his microwave popcorn, while shiftily looking around*
Lloyd: *surfing the Web and tossing any object he can get a hold of at the author*
Striker: *banging his head against the wall* Banana in the blender! Banana in the blender! *hit by the microwave* X_x *falls over*
Doel: You idiot! You broke a perfectly good microwave! *draws both swords and growls threateningly* Kill... KILL!
Lloyd: Foolish Emperor! You cannot hurt me! There's a government document out on my protection! *holds it up as evidence*
Doel: Explain why I should care. I'm dead. What can the government do to me?
Lloyd: Oh... I hadn't thought of that...
Doel: I'll give you a ten-second head start. More fun that way. Ten...
Lloyd: Can't we... erm... talk about this?
Doel: Nine...
Lloyd: *runs*
Doel: Eight... seven... six... oh hell. *charges after him*
*Meanwhile, Dart and Rayen are oblivious.*
Dart: *flicking his lighter absently* Do you have any idea what they're doing?
Rayen: Nope. *playing Striker's Gamecube* Hoo-ah! Touchdown! *starts doing Striker's monkey dance*
Dart: You know... you started out as the sane one...
Rayen: *puts on one of those big fuzzy hats that the Buckingham Palace Guards wear*
Dart: O_O
Shana: *watching Meru, Haschel and Kongol* Are they STILL asleep?
Lavitz: Yeah. Haschel's out because he's still got a hangover from the drinking contest with Miranda. Meru's sleeping because consuming all the sugar in the RV in the span of ten minutes left her with a crashing low after the buzz was over.
Rose: *shudders* That was pure evil.
Lavitz: Tell me about it. Kongol's sleeping because... O_o Come to think of it, I have no idea why Kongol's sleeping.
Striker: *suddenly regains consciousness* Fools! I am Poolywoolychinmakanidoka, Chancellor of Luxembourg and inventor of the pickle!
Doel: *stops* What the... hell?
Lloyd: What the hell is Luxembourg?
Miranda: Luxembourg is a tiny country in Europe that is approximately eight hundred square miles in area.
All: O_O
Miranda: What? The damned king's busy glomped onto my midsection, someone's got to explain to you &^$%ing idiots what's going on.
Lavitz: Who else was disturbed just now?
All: *raise hands*
Striker: There is no time for this! Switzerland is attacking! We must prepare our defenses of pinecones and DVD players!
Lavitz: He's lost it.
Rose: I don't think he ever had it.
Miranda: I think he's lost his somewhat tedious hold on it.
All: *stare at Miranda*
Miranda: What the &^$%&^$ &^#$ are you &^#$%$@# ^&#$%# looking at?
Dart: Now that's more like Miranda.
Greham: *also oblivious to all that is going on* *turns up the radio really loud and starts singing* Walk awaaaaaaaaaaay, now now now, can't relaaaaaaaaaaaate, to anyone! Tried to be, a humble man, a better son, a better friend, but life gets in the waaaaaaaaay!
Lavitz: O_o Damn, I didn't know Greham liked Epidemic...
Greham: *music changes* Hit me baby one more time!
Rayen: *snaps back to sanity* O_O NO! Not this again! *falls to the floor, convulsing*
Dart: *covering his ears* Rayen, how do you know about this? You're from the same world as us!
Rayen: Yes, but I was created by HIM! *points to Striker, who is muttering something about Switzerland and fried ice cream* And his sister LISTENS to this!
Rose: And what would this disgrace to music be called?
Rayen: *silence, whispers* Britney Spears! *thunder crashes, lightning strikes*
All: *scream*
Shana: Hey, I kinda like this song...
************************************************************************
*A few minutes later*
Striker: *crouching behind pinecones and DVD players that are stacked like sandbags* Are we all ready for the defense?
Dart: *crouching behind pinecone-DVD player barricade* Why exactly are we doing this?
Striker: The Swiss are attacking! Now shut up and get your flamethrower!
Dart: O_O I believe I just heard the magic word.
Greham: This guy doesn't seriously believe that Switzerland is going to wage war on an RV in the middle of Oregon, does he?
Rayen: No thanks to Pretty-boy over there.
Lloyd: Hey, I didn't do anything!
Rayen: Really? Let's see, you kicked him away from his video games, one of the few things that preserves his sanity, tortured him, and threw a microwave at his head.
Lloyd: Well, I didn't do anything BESIDES that...
Rayen: Doel?
Doel: *smacks Lloyd upside the head* Idiot.
Rayen: Thank you.
Striker: Silence! The Swiss approach.
Dart: *stroking his new flamethrower* I'll name you Erik von Svenson!
All: O_o
*Suddenly, an army of Swiss soldiers charges into view, armed with their chocolate guns, cheese artillery, and ATMs (Get it? Swiss cheese, Swiss chocolate, Swiss bank accounts? Hahahaha... oh, forget it.)*
Lavitz: Holy crap, the crazed author was right.
Striker: Luxembourg FOREVER! *hurls one of his patented Mint-Flavored Dental Floss Grenades into the crowd of onrushing Swiss soldiers*
Mint-Flavored Dental Floss Grenade: *explodes, sending dental floss in every direction, wrapping itself around the throats of the Swiss*
Swiss Soldiers: Noooo, not the minty freshness! *fall over, dead of suffocation*
Striker: *starts swinging the Magical Toaster of Justice around by its cord* Long live Luxembourg! *charges*
*Several minutes later, the Swiss Army have been annihilated by the deranged author. Dental floss, broken ATMs, and the remains of exploding Pop Tarts (hey, what do you expect when your weapon is a toaster?) litter the area.*
Striker: Luxembourg is triumphant!
Greham: *pulls himself out from underneath a fallen ATM* OK, that was seriously odd.
Rayen: Is it over already?
Lavitz: Where the hell were you?
Rayen: In the bathroom.
Lavitz: You've got a thing for that bathroom, don't you?
Rayen: Shut up. It's a very nice bathroom.
Dart: *still hugging his new flamethrower* Hey, where's Shana?
Author's Note: Whee, short chapter. Okey dokey, where's Shana? What's she doing that caused her to become completely oblivious to a Swiss army appearing out of nowhere? Come to think of it, does anyone really care? What's up with that whole government protection thing on Winglies? Will Striker ever regain his sanity? Only one way to find out... heh.
Chapter 9
*The RV is steadily back on the road after leaving the Albertson's. Greham is driving, and considerably well at that. Lloyd is taking revenge upon the author by taking every opportunity to flaunt his new invulnerability to bashing. Striker is coming down with a serious case of WBW (Wingly-Bashing Withdrawal), and is slowly sliding towards the cliff of insanity. Albert is still attached to Miranda's midsection, and the Sacred Sister has broken several crowbars in her attempts to detach the king, and is seriously considering surgery, but her hopes were slightly quenched when she learns that Rose is the only qualified doctor on board, whose instrument of extraction is her rapier.*
Lavitz: How the hell did you get a medical license?
Rose: *death glare*
Doel: *munching on his microwave popcorn, while shiftily looking around*
Lloyd: *surfing the Web and tossing any object he can get a hold of at the author*
Striker: *banging his head against the wall* Banana in the blender! Banana in the blender! *hit by the microwave* X_x *falls over*
Doel: You idiot! You broke a perfectly good microwave! *draws both swords and growls threateningly* Kill... KILL!
Lloyd: Foolish Emperor! You cannot hurt me! There's a government document out on my protection! *holds it up as evidence*
Doel: Explain why I should care. I'm dead. What can the government do to me?
Lloyd: Oh... I hadn't thought of that...
Doel: I'll give you a ten-second head start. More fun that way. Ten...
Lloyd: Can't we... erm... talk about this?
Doel: Nine...
Lloyd: *runs*
Doel: Eight... seven... six... oh hell. *charges after him*
*Meanwhile, Dart and Rayen are oblivious.*
Dart: *flicking his lighter absently* Do you have any idea what they're doing?
Rayen: Nope. *playing Striker's Gamecube* Hoo-ah! Touchdown! *starts doing Striker's monkey dance*
Dart: You know... you started out as the sane one...
Rayen: *puts on one of those big fuzzy hats that the Buckingham Palace Guards wear*
Dart: O_O
Shana: *watching Meru, Haschel and Kongol* Are they STILL asleep?
Lavitz: Yeah. Haschel's out because he's still got a hangover from the drinking contest with Miranda. Meru's sleeping because consuming all the sugar in the RV in the span of ten minutes left her with a crashing low after the buzz was over.
Rose: *shudders* That was pure evil.
Lavitz: Tell me about it. Kongol's sleeping because... O_o Come to think of it, I have no idea why Kongol's sleeping.
Striker: *suddenly regains consciousness* Fools! I am Poolywoolychinmakanidoka, Chancellor of Luxembourg and inventor of the pickle!
Doel: *stops* What the... hell?
Lloyd: What the hell is Luxembourg?
Miranda: Luxembourg is a tiny country in Europe that is approximately eight hundred square miles in area.
All: O_O
Miranda: What? The damned king's busy glomped onto my midsection, someone's got to explain to you &^$%ing idiots what's going on.
Lavitz: Who else was disturbed just now?
All: *raise hands*
Striker: There is no time for this! Switzerland is attacking! We must prepare our defenses of pinecones and DVD players!
Lavitz: He's lost it.
Rose: I don't think he ever had it.
Miranda: I think he's lost his somewhat tedious hold on it.
All: *stare at Miranda*
Miranda: What the &^$%&^$ &^#$ are you &^#$%$@# ^&#$%# looking at?
Dart: Now that's more like Miranda.
Greham: *also oblivious to all that is going on* *turns up the radio really loud and starts singing* Walk awaaaaaaaaaaay, now now now, can't relaaaaaaaaaaaate, to anyone! Tried to be, a humble man, a better son, a better friend, but life gets in the waaaaaaaaay!
Lavitz: O_o Damn, I didn't know Greham liked Epidemic...
Greham: *music changes* Hit me baby one more time!
Rayen: *snaps back to sanity* O_O NO! Not this again! *falls to the floor, convulsing*
Dart: *covering his ears* Rayen, how do you know about this? You're from the same world as us!
Rayen: Yes, but I was created by HIM! *points to Striker, who is muttering something about Switzerland and fried ice cream* And his sister LISTENS to this!
Rose: And what would this disgrace to music be called?
Rayen: *silence, whispers* Britney Spears! *thunder crashes, lightning strikes*
All: *scream*
Shana: Hey, I kinda like this song...
************************************************************************
*A few minutes later*
Striker: *crouching behind pinecones and DVD players that are stacked like sandbags* Are we all ready for the defense?
Dart: *crouching behind pinecone-DVD player barricade* Why exactly are we doing this?
Striker: The Swiss are attacking! Now shut up and get your flamethrower!
Dart: O_O I believe I just heard the magic word.
Greham: This guy doesn't seriously believe that Switzerland is going to wage war on an RV in the middle of Oregon, does he?
Rayen: No thanks to Pretty-boy over there.
Lloyd: Hey, I didn't do anything!
Rayen: Really? Let's see, you kicked him away from his video games, one of the few things that preserves his sanity, tortured him, and threw a microwave at his head.
Lloyd: Well, I didn't do anything BESIDES that...
Rayen: Doel?
Doel: *smacks Lloyd upside the head* Idiot.
Rayen: Thank you.
Striker: Silence! The Swiss approach.
Dart: *stroking his new flamethrower* I'll name you Erik von Svenson!
All: O_o
*Suddenly, an army of Swiss soldiers charges into view, armed with their chocolate guns, cheese artillery, and ATMs (Get it? Swiss cheese, Swiss chocolate, Swiss bank accounts? Hahahaha... oh, forget it.)*
Lavitz: Holy crap, the crazed author was right.
Striker: Luxembourg FOREVER! *hurls one of his patented Mint-Flavored Dental Floss Grenades into the crowd of onrushing Swiss soldiers*
Mint-Flavored Dental Floss Grenade: *explodes, sending dental floss in every direction, wrapping itself around the throats of the Swiss*
Swiss Soldiers: Noooo, not the minty freshness! *fall over, dead of suffocation*
Striker: *starts swinging the Magical Toaster of Justice around by its cord* Long live Luxembourg! *charges*
*Several minutes later, the Swiss Army have been annihilated by the deranged author. Dental floss, broken ATMs, and the remains of exploding Pop Tarts (hey, what do you expect when your weapon is a toaster?) litter the area.*
Striker: Luxembourg is triumphant!
Greham: *pulls himself out from underneath a fallen ATM* OK, that was seriously odd.
Rayen: Is it over already?
Lavitz: Where the hell were you?
Rayen: In the bathroom.
Lavitz: You've got a thing for that bathroom, don't you?
Rayen: Shut up. It's a very nice bathroom.
Dart: *still hugging his new flamethrower* Hey, where's Shana?
Author's Note: Whee, short chapter. Okey dokey, where's Shana? What's she doing that caused her to become completely oblivious to a Swiss army appearing out of nowhere? Come to think of it, does anyone really care? What's up with that whole government protection thing on Winglies? Will Striker ever regain his sanity? Only one way to find out... heh.