Disclaimer: I don't own Kare Kano. Think about it- would I be writing FAN-
fiction if I owned it? Hmm?
Author's Note: Wow, I'm really ripping through these today. Let's see if I can get another one in before midnight, when the library closes and I'll be ejected from my computer forcefully. o_0;; And, in case you couldn't tell, Ikeda Kazuma is my favorite character!! EEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love my Kazuma- chan!! ^.~*
In this chapter: A look at Kazuma's life.
Enjoy!!
Chapter 3:
Everything's Perfect
It pounded in his ears. He could feel it flowing through his blood. His veins throbbed in time with the beat, his heart beat faster at each new note in the song. His breath caught in his throat, and the final note echoed long after the song had ended.
The silence afterwards was deafening.
"Yo, that was awesome!"
"Dude, you rock man!"
"That was great!"
"We rule!!"
Congratulations were being passed around enthusiastically. Kazuma knew his bandmates well, and he knew they were really pleased with their new song. He felt exactly the same way, of course. This song..... it just felt better than the other songs they played. It wasn't of a higher caliber or anything, but the music really called to him.
Maybe that was why he felt so great when it was going on. Then again, he really did love music. Almost any kind of music. It didn't really matter what the song was about, or who the artist was. As long as the beat of the song was good, he could listen to anything.
And enjoy it. Oh, yes, he loved music. It was his life. He wrote song lyrics and notes during school. He hummed when he was alone, and carried a Discman the way others carried expensive jewelry. It didn't matter what everyone else thought of him, not really. As long as he had his music to rely on, he could handle anything that came his way.
He packed up his guitar and waved good-bye to the band. They all could stay out later than he could, since they were older than him. Shouts of praise and good luck followed him out the door.
It was cold outside. The days were getting hotter, and the nights colder. Once again, he had forgotten his jacket. He sighed, knowing that a long walk was waiting for him.
Kazuma's ratty sneakers moved quickly down the street. His feet knew the way home, so his mind was free to wander as it pleased. Which was a good thing. He always felt so creative after a session with the band. He wondered how he ever lived without them.
Well, there had been a time when he had nothing. That was all in the past now, but it was still there. It still came up to remind him of what he might still be doing, if not for the band.
The past was a bleak, monotonous time. School was dull, and homework was either too easy or not worth doing. Friends were few and far between, but not by choice. He tried to be open with people, but one too many false friendships taught him to be more careful about who he spent time with.
Not that he had much choice in the matter. He accepted people as they were, even if they were out to cause mischief. He, in fact, liked causing mischief, as long as no one was hurt. Not everyone had the same feeling about it, though.
So friends were an unfortunate rarity. Home was..... well, home was a place where he ate and slept. That was it.
It was painful to think about how lonely home really was. How painful it was to go home day after day to an empty house. No greeting waited for him, no shout of joy or welcome. Even a grunt of recognition would have been better than nothing.
But nothing awaited him every time he opened that door.
Not that it was his mom's fault. His dad was completely out of the picture, and his mom had to work all sorts of weird hours. She was a nurse, after all, and the hospital never knew when they would need her. They tried to keep her on a normal schedule, but somehow it never worked out that way. There always seemed to be some reason that she had to stay- someone she had to help, or something that wouldn't get done without her there to see it through. Was he supposed to just tell her that he didn't care if people needed her help? 'No, mom, don't go to the hospital and help those injured people. Stay home and say hi to me. Okay?' Yeah, that made him a real winner, didn't it? Honestly, how selfish could he be?
He tried not to think that way, but his thoughts always ended up circling back there anyway. How was he supposed to avoid such an important issue? He tried different ways of dealing with the pain of being alone, but nothing seemed to work.
Every day, he was just as alone as he had been the day before.
Nothing ever changed.
No matter much he wanted it to.
Sometimes he dreamed about getting a younger sibling. That way, he'd have someone to talk to, someone who'd be there when he wanted company, someone who'd accept him no matter what. He couldn't tell his mom that, but he still thought about it. It would be so nice, to have someone who understood you even when you were having trouble understanding yourself.
Would a sibling do that? Could a sibling understand what he was going through? Maybe. Or maybe it was too much to hope for that anyone could understand him. He didn't understand any of his friends. At least, not on the level that he wanted. Could anyone ever understand him more than his friends did? Was it too much to hope for, that someone could know and like him?
A younger sibling would be nice. They would be great friends. They'd be able to tell each other anything, and be completely honest with one another.
It was nice to think about.
He picked up his pace a little, and focused on the road ahead of him. Maybe it was a little too late to hope for someone like that. Maybe it was just a futile dream, something that he could hope and hope for but would never get. Well, if that's all it was then he'd deal with it. It wouldn't kill him to never find someone like that. He'd been doing fine so far, hadn't he?
Especially since he joined YinYang. They were a great group, and he loved working with them. He had always loved music, but lately it had become more and more important to him than before. Both listening to and creating music were taking up a lot more of his time.
His mother didn't seem to mind. She encouraged him to try whatever he wanted to do. She was great like that. Whenever he wanted to try something new, she always was there giving him support. Even if they couldn't see each other every day, and almost never ate together, she was still around. She mattered a lot to him.
He didn't know what he would have done if she said that she didn't approve of him joining a band. Could he have gone against her? He doubted it. They almost never disagreed, and when they did it was over something so small that they came to terms with it easily. It was a good thing she hadn't disagreed with him on music. It was such an important part of his life that he just might have gone against her, and then he had no idea about what might have happened. He was happy that entire scenario had been avoided.
His house key was in his hand without even thinking about it, and he unlocked the door. Kazuma walked inside and was greeted with an odd sight.
His mother was standing there, making dinner.
"Hi, Kazuma," she said. "How was your day?"
Kazuma stared at her slack-jawed, and nodded wordlessly. She had just greeted him. He walked into his own house- HIS house- and he'd been greeted. He didn't know what to do.
So he walked up to her, and hugged her. She stopped making dinner and tried to turn her head to look at him.
"Kazuma? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, mom. Everything's perfect."
Author's Note: Wow, I'm really ripping through these today. Let's see if I can get another one in before midnight, when the library closes and I'll be ejected from my computer forcefully. o_0;; And, in case you couldn't tell, Ikeda Kazuma is my favorite character!! EEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love my Kazuma- chan!! ^.~*
In this chapter: A look at Kazuma's life.
Enjoy!!
Chapter 3:
Everything's Perfect
It pounded in his ears. He could feel it flowing through his blood. His veins throbbed in time with the beat, his heart beat faster at each new note in the song. His breath caught in his throat, and the final note echoed long after the song had ended.
The silence afterwards was deafening.
"Yo, that was awesome!"
"Dude, you rock man!"
"That was great!"
"We rule!!"
Congratulations were being passed around enthusiastically. Kazuma knew his bandmates well, and he knew they were really pleased with their new song. He felt exactly the same way, of course. This song..... it just felt better than the other songs they played. It wasn't of a higher caliber or anything, but the music really called to him.
Maybe that was why he felt so great when it was going on. Then again, he really did love music. Almost any kind of music. It didn't really matter what the song was about, or who the artist was. As long as the beat of the song was good, he could listen to anything.
And enjoy it. Oh, yes, he loved music. It was his life. He wrote song lyrics and notes during school. He hummed when he was alone, and carried a Discman the way others carried expensive jewelry. It didn't matter what everyone else thought of him, not really. As long as he had his music to rely on, he could handle anything that came his way.
He packed up his guitar and waved good-bye to the band. They all could stay out later than he could, since they were older than him. Shouts of praise and good luck followed him out the door.
It was cold outside. The days were getting hotter, and the nights colder. Once again, he had forgotten his jacket. He sighed, knowing that a long walk was waiting for him.
Kazuma's ratty sneakers moved quickly down the street. His feet knew the way home, so his mind was free to wander as it pleased. Which was a good thing. He always felt so creative after a session with the band. He wondered how he ever lived without them.
Well, there had been a time when he had nothing. That was all in the past now, but it was still there. It still came up to remind him of what he might still be doing, if not for the band.
The past was a bleak, monotonous time. School was dull, and homework was either too easy or not worth doing. Friends were few and far between, but not by choice. He tried to be open with people, but one too many false friendships taught him to be more careful about who he spent time with.
Not that he had much choice in the matter. He accepted people as they were, even if they were out to cause mischief. He, in fact, liked causing mischief, as long as no one was hurt. Not everyone had the same feeling about it, though.
So friends were an unfortunate rarity. Home was..... well, home was a place where he ate and slept. That was it.
It was painful to think about how lonely home really was. How painful it was to go home day after day to an empty house. No greeting waited for him, no shout of joy or welcome. Even a grunt of recognition would have been better than nothing.
But nothing awaited him every time he opened that door.
Not that it was his mom's fault. His dad was completely out of the picture, and his mom had to work all sorts of weird hours. She was a nurse, after all, and the hospital never knew when they would need her. They tried to keep her on a normal schedule, but somehow it never worked out that way. There always seemed to be some reason that she had to stay- someone she had to help, or something that wouldn't get done without her there to see it through. Was he supposed to just tell her that he didn't care if people needed her help? 'No, mom, don't go to the hospital and help those injured people. Stay home and say hi to me. Okay?' Yeah, that made him a real winner, didn't it? Honestly, how selfish could he be?
He tried not to think that way, but his thoughts always ended up circling back there anyway. How was he supposed to avoid such an important issue? He tried different ways of dealing with the pain of being alone, but nothing seemed to work.
Every day, he was just as alone as he had been the day before.
Nothing ever changed.
No matter much he wanted it to.
Sometimes he dreamed about getting a younger sibling. That way, he'd have someone to talk to, someone who'd be there when he wanted company, someone who'd accept him no matter what. He couldn't tell his mom that, but he still thought about it. It would be so nice, to have someone who understood you even when you were having trouble understanding yourself.
Would a sibling do that? Could a sibling understand what he was going through? Maybe. Or maybe it was too much to hope for that anyone could understand him. He didn't understand any of his friends. At least, not on the level that he wanted. Could anyone ever understand him more than his friends did? Was it too much to hope for, that someone could know and like him?
A younger sibling would be nice. They would be great friends. They'd be able to tell each other anything, and be completely honest with one another.
It was nice to think about.
He picked up his pace a little, and focused on the road ahead of him. Maybe it was a little too late to hope for someone like that. Maybe it was just a futile dream, something that he could hope and hope for but would never get. Well, if that's all it was then he'd deal with it. It wouldn't kill him to never find someone like that. He'd been doing fine so far, hadn't he?
Especially since he joined YinYang. They were a great group, and he loved working with them. He had always loved music, but lately it had become more and more important to him than before. Both listening to and creating music were taking up a lot more of his time.
His mother didn't seem to mind. She encouraged him to try whatever he wanted to do. She was great like that. Whenever he wanted to try something new, she always was there giving him support. Even if they couldn't see each other every day, and almost never ate together, she was still around. She mattered a lot to him.
He didn't know what he would have done if she said that she didn't approve of him joining a band. Could he have gone against her? He doubted it. They almost never disagreed, and when they did it was over something so small that they came to terms with it easily. It was a good thing she hadn't disagreed with him on music. It was such an important part of his life that he just might have gone against her, and then he had no idea about what might have happened. He was happy that entire scenario had been avoided.
His house key was in his hand without even thinking about it, and he unlocked the door. Kazuma walked inside and was greeted with an odd sight.
His mother was standing there, making dinner.
"Hi, Kazuma," she said. "How was your day?"
Kazuma stared at her slack-jawed, and nodded wordlessly. She had just greeted him. He walked into his own house- HIS house- and he'd been greeted. He didn't know what to do.
So he walked up to her, and hugged her. She stopped making dinner and tried to turn her head to look at him.
"Kazuma? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, mom. Everything's perfect."