Title: The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing, crossdressing, yaoi, Mary Sue bash-tasticness, loose VS. lose, and some sap. Because the fluff is cute.

Summary: It's the Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy, with appearances by Gaia the Salesman, Panny Springer, and other fun characters!

Disclaimer: Oops. Forgot to do this. Erufu?

Erufu: Mewissa don't own 'uugiou. She wish she does, but she don't. Cewtic says dat's a good thing.

Well, yes…on with the story.

~~~~***~~~~

…

"START THE CHAPTER!!! I HAVE TO SAVE MY ELF BOY!!!"

no…coffee…shut up…will start…

"NOW!!!!!"

Fuck you, Bondage Slut.

"DO I HAVE TO COME UP THERE??! CELTIC IS GETTING STRAIGHTER BY THE SECOND!!!"

Fine! You fucking bastard!

…

When we last left our heroes, the evil Mistress Mary Sue had taken Self-Appreciation Boy hostage!

"DYAAAAAAAH!!!!"

…and Bondage Boy was hysteric. He had been searching all night..but still could not find her lair!

"She's a Mary-Sue…what do they want?"

He typed on his computer, bringing up a spinny Mary-Sue 3D model.

"…the Mary Sue wants one thing. The love of her preferred character. Dear God…NO!!" Bondage Boy screamed. He started running.

GO! SAVE HIIIIIIIM!!!!

And thus, Bondage Boy began his perilous journey…

"I have no idea where to go." He said, stopping.

He had been so rash, he had forgotten to find her lair!

Suddenly, a red bubble floated down. And out of that bubble came..

"Hello, Bondage Boy! I'm The Good Ritual of the North, Luster!" The ritual monster spoke with a slightly fruity British accent.

"Uhm…hi. Why are you dressed like that?"

"…fangirlishness. But isn't the dress pretty?" Luster spun around, making his dark blue dress flutter.

"Uhm…yeah. I'm kind of in a hurry right now. My boyfriend has been captured by this evil Mary Sue…so I'll talk later, bye!" Bondage Boy tried to dash past.

Luster grabbed his shirt. "Uh uh uh, Bondage Boy! You need some materials!"

Luster waved his wand and suddenly Bondage Boy was in a violet dress with sparkly violet shoes.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! CROSS-DRESSING BOY IS MY COUSIN!! …I like the shoes. Kinky…but that's not the point!"

Luster grinned. "Well, those shoes are magical! And don't let—"

"THE GOOD RITUAL OF THE NORTH!! YOU MUST…hey, you're HOT!"

Oh great. I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy is here.

"I have to have two jobs…pimpin' ain't easy, y'know."

"PIMPING?! Just what the hell have you been doing, Chaos?" Gaia screamed as he walked on stage.

"N-nothing, sweetie…I was just joking! …I'll make it up to you by…" Chaos whispered in Gaia's ear.

Gaia turned a bright fuschia. "All right. But only this once! If you do anything else to piss me off, I'm going with Luster!" Gaia walked off stage.

Chaos sighed. "Yes, dear Anyway…I'M THE BAD RITUAL OF THE SOUTH!! But I'm willing to become The Neutral Ritual of No-Polarity, if Luster'll sleep with me and my boyfriend." He leered, lifting Luster's dress. "Mmm…sexy package. C'mon!" He grabbed Luster's hand.

"HEY! What about ME and MY BOYFRIEND?!?" Bondage Boy screamed.

"Just go—oooh---down the green brick---oh, stop it!---road! Mmm…Chaos…GAIA!!" Luster yelped as he disappeared.

"Fucking rip off of The Wizard of Oz…oh no…OHHH NO…"

No, you aren't gonna be in Kansas. How about…

Bondage Boy looked around. The flashing lights stunned him…

"HOLY SHIT!! LAS VEGAS!! COOOOL!!" Bondage Boy yelled. He looked down at the ground. "Green…CELTIC!!!" He ran off.

~~~~***~~~~

Self-Appreciation Boy, nay, Celtic sat in an isolated room, in a motel called 'Weak Walls'. The Mary Sue had rented the 'Foreshadowing' suite.

His costume had been taken off, and he had been dressed in a dark green shirt and khaki pants.

"Ohhhhh my loooooove…where are yooooooou…my lovely Fyre Blaze Adjective…" He pined. The Mary Sue had brainwashed him into thinking that she was his One True Love…

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But something was nagging at the back of his mind. A pair of haunting ice blue eyes…

He touched his aching crotch. "Oh…whose eyes are those? …so beautiful…" The door opened. "Fyre Blaze Adjective!"

"Yes, my love." Her perky breasts were larger, her eyes had changed colours, and her hair was still long and flowy. And she was wearing a string as her only piece of clothing.

He blinked in confusion as any and all arousal deserted him.

…what was wrong with him?

"Oh honeeeeeeey…I got us married!! Now we'll be together forever!" She grinned, giggling happy.

~~~~***~~~~

Bondage Boy growled…the damn road had disappeared.

"FUCK!! CELLLLLLLLLTIIIIIIC…IF YOU CAN HEAR ME…YELL!!! …or SOMETHING!!"

When there was no answer, Bondage Boy slammed his fist against the wall.

~~~~***~~~~

Celtic stared in confusion as the wall smashed in.

"NOOOO!!!!! BONDAGE BOY!!!!" Fyre Blaze Adjective yelled, reverting to her true form.

Mistress Mary Sue's true form was that of a Medusa, complete with the snake hair and fangs.

Bondage Boy gasped and stepped back. "I have nothing to fight with…"

FIGHT HER WITH YOUR PRETTY!!!

"Well, gee, THANKS. How do I do that?" Bondage Boy snarked.

Just stand there and be cute!

"Fine." Bondage Boy stood in his place, smiling cutely. Soon the cute went to sexy…up until the point where he was stealing his partner's name.

Mistress Mary Sue screeched. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M MEAAAAAAAAAALTINNG…but he's married to me!! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! I DIDN'T LOOSE!!"

"You mean 'lose'." Bondage Boy said.

"I DIDN'T LOOSE!!!"

"LOSE."

"LOOSE!!"

"IT'S LOSE GOD DAMN IT!! THEY DIDN'T CHANGE THE FUCKING SPELLING!!"

"I'm melted, you know."

"Oh." Bondage Boy shrugged.

He rushed over to his partner. "Celtic!"

He smiled cutely. "Hi Dark. Why're you wearing that?"

Bondage Boy gaped. "You…you don't remember anything?"

"Should I?"

Bondage Boy bit his lip. "…yeah…"

The other boy kept smiling. "I like you. We should get together."

Bondage Boy grinned. "There's my answer…all right…"

Bondage Boy pushed the elf to the bed, and started suckling at his neck. "Mine."

"Yours…"

Aww…how cute…wait…DAMMIT…change the channel!

"Aaah! Dark!"

~~~~***~~~~

"Do you have unsightly facial hair? Like this Ghost of the Attic?" Gaia asked, gesturing to a black fuzzball. "Well, we can fix that for you!"

"You can?" The fuzzball asked.

"YES! With the Killer Needle Wax-Away System! You just applying it like so…" Gaia put on the wax and strips. "Then…you pull!" He ripped it off.

Or attempted to. The strip wouldn't budge. "God…damn it…cut to the user opinions!!"

A young man came on screen. "I used it! I used to be incredibly fuzzy." A picture of Silver Fang was shown. "But after using this system, I'm all bishounen and all the guys and all the girls want me!"

Gaia came back on screen. "Uhm…yes. Well, as you can tell, Ghost-boy is now all bishounen-y!" He gestured behind him.

Luster stood on the stage. "You just don't want to admit you ripped the thing's eyes out, do you?"

"MY EYYYYYYYYYYES!!!!!"

"Shut up! The system is only $19.95! Call the number on your screen! Sorry…no CODs, credit cards, checks, money orders, or Euros…Luster? Uhm…would you like to go out for dinner with me and Chaos?"

Luster smiled. "Of course."

~~~~***~~~~

"Mmm…Dark…I never wanna lose you again…protect me?" Celtic nuzzled against Dark's chest, sighing happily.

"I will…"

"But…I do have two questions."

"Yes, Celtic?"

"Why were you wearing that purple dress?"

"…because of the perverted authoress."

"Okay…and uh…" He flushed prettily, and leaned in, whispering something.

"Ohh…that…that's a secret, sweetie." Dark murmured, kissing Celtic's forehead. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Mmhmm…let me get…hey…where's my outfit?"

Dark glanced around. "I dunno.." He covered his mouth as he smirked. He had hidden it, wanting to see his elf-boy's cute little ass. "Guess I'll just have to carry you."

Celtic turned and blinked. "You hid it, didn't you?" He stood with his hands on his hips.

Dark drooled slightly as he stared at Celtic's crotch. "Yeah…but I missed you…"

"And yet, you HIDE my CLOTHES?!?! You bastard!" Celtic started whacking Dark in the head with a stick. "Give 'em back!!!"

Dark sighed happily as he was whacked. "Finally…back to normal."

~~~~***~~~~

I have decided I will have a lemon in the next chapter.

Also…in the next chapter, another character shows up…and a new organization is born!

Oh yeah! Hicky, I am really sorry I used your Luster characterization for mine…but it was too good to pass up! Forgive me?

Review, flame…comment, whatever. Just let me know you're reading this!