Disclaimer: As usual, Digimon and all of its incarnations are not mine.
Author's Notes: This is a rewrite of two fics that I did. I decided to make them into one, because I thought that it would be better if they were together. From what I've seen of 02, when it comes to Daisuke's feelings, Hikari is either an extreme dunce, or is really afraid to tell him that she doesn't like him the same way. Since I believe it to be the latter, I think some note should be made of her behaviour, which was hardly the best.
Also, I've read a couple of stories about Daisuke's point of view of Takeru and Hikari's relationship, so I've decided to add in my own little bit. I don't believe that he's the lovesick dunce that he's portrayed in a lot of fics. So, he's finally moving on with his love life.
Romances: Daiken and Takari with minor reference to Taito.
By: Jade Daniels
I'm sorry.
It isn't much I realize, but in the end, it is all that I can really say.
I'm sorry.
I never meant to cause you so much pain.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't love you the way you wanted me to.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I treated you the way that I did.
I hope that you can forgive me.
You know, I wish I had the kind of courage that seems to be so abundant in you. It's obvious why you hold the Digimental of Courage. I don't mean the kind of courage that is needed to fight evil Digimon, but the kind of courage that is required to tell someone that you don't love them. I'll admit it: I was a coward.
I know that I should have told you sooner. I now wish that I had. If I hadn't left you dangling for so damned long, maybe then you would have found happiness more quickly. It's my fault that it took so long for you to find your true soulmate. I acted like a cold-hearted bitch, continually blowing you off for Takeru, always ignoring the pain that flashed in your eyes when I did.
I think sometimes that it was that pain I feared that prevented me from ever telling you straight out. I'm not stupid; I knew what I was doing to you. I wanted to wait; hoping that someday you would get over what I thought was a simple infatuation. That was the easiest way out for me, or so I thought. I wouldn't have to actually face you then. I'm surprised that you ever continued to love me like you did.
It isn't easy to knowingly hurt someone. I make no excuses for my behaviour, except one. As stupid as it may sound, I have a family history of not admitting feelings. My own parents, for example, took two years to admit that they liked each as more than friends. They dated for four years after that before my father finally proposed.
My own brother couldn't admit for a long time how he felt about his own soulmate. Sometimes I thought I would go crazy trying to push him together with the one he loved. And even now, he and Yamato have the hardest time talking about their feelings.
And as you know, it took me a very long time before I admitted where my heart truly belonged. In the end, it took you, the holder of the Digimental of Courage to get me to say how I felt about him.
I'm happy that you are now with someone who makes you happy. Everyday, I can see it in your eyes just how much you two care about each other. In all honesty, if it wasn't for that, I don't think that I could be with Takeru. That would just be another slap in the face for you. I don't think that I would have been able to go that far, despite all that I did to you.
This apology was long overdue. But now, finally, I can see that we can both be happy, leaving all the 'should haves' and 'would haves' behind. Now, we can move forward into future.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"So, what do you think?" Hikari Yagami asked, looking expectantly at her boyfriend, Takeru Takashi.
"It sounds good," he replied, getting out of his chair and handing the letter back to her.
She smiled, neatly folding up the letter and placing it into an envelope. "It's something that I needed to do for a long time. I just hope I'm not too late in giving it to him tonight."
Takeru wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I understand. Daisuke is a good guy. He'll understand."
"I put him through such hell," she whispered, laying her head on his arm. She looked up at him. "I don't want to rehash those memories, but I don't want to leave this hanging between us either."
Takeru kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry. Like I said, he'll understand." He grabbed her jacket from her bed and held it out to her. Smiling slightly, she took it and put it on. She slipped the letter into her pocket and her hand into Takeru's.
He looked over at her. "You ready?"
She nodded. "Yeah, let's go."
The Chosen Children were meeting together in the local park. It really wasn't for any special occasion; they had just wanted to meet together. Over the past months, ever since the Digital Gates had opened, the times that they had been able to all gather together had been few and far between. Trying to gather six people together was not as easy as it sounded. Real life had intruded far more times than any of them had liked. Conflicts in schedules had often kept at least one person from meeting up with the others.
As well, publicity about the Chosen Children had come down over the past few months, but there was still the occasional overeager reporter looking for a story, believing that one could be found when they got together. That as often as not, had a tendency to disrupt their gatherings. Tonight, they had finally managed to all gather in one place, without any reporters -they hoped- finding out. The park had been chosen because it was a central spot that they could all manage to get to fairly easily. And it wouldn't be difficult to open a Gate from a laptop here.
Takeru and Hikari weren't the first ones to reach the chosen spot. Already Iori and Miyako were there; obviously catching up on what each other had done since they had last met. Illuminated by the light from the park lamps, it could be seen that Iori's tall frame towered over Miyako's slim one. Hikari always found it funny that the shortest child in their group would go through such a growth spurt, leaving him as the tallest one now. Even Takeru, who had been the tallest, couldn't quite reach Iori's height of six feet.
"Hey guys," greeted Miyako as the couple came within earshot. Iori bowed his head in own greeting. As always, Iori was still a quiet person, reserving his words for when he believed they needed to be spoken.
As usual, in stark contrast to Iori, Miyako was the lively, animated woman they had all come to know and love. "So, what you two been up to lately? Last I heard, Takeru was still trying to get those stories of his published?"
Hikari's boyfriend nodded. "Yeah. I've sent some stuff to some publishers. Hopefully something will come out of it."
"Come out of what?"
The four turned towards the sound of the new, yet familiar, voice. Out of the shadows Daisuke and Ken walked up towards the group. Hikari felt her heart speed up nervously at the sight of the redheaded man. The letter she had put in her pocket now seemed to burn away at her side. She gripped Takeru's hand tightly; he squeezed hers lightly in response.
Miyako was the first to answer Daisuke's question. "Nothing really. We were just talking about what we've been doing since we saw each other last." She smirked at the Daisuke and Ken. "You two have the most to tell us I think."
Ken nodded. Miyako was right. It had been awhile since those two had shown up at one of their group's gatherings. "There really isn't much to tell actually Miyako. Neither of us has had much happen since all of us were together last."
"At least, nothing that we haven't told you guys over the phone or through email," added Daisuke.
"Well, let's not discuss it here, huh? There are more pleasant places we can do this." Miyako brought out her laptop, along with her D-3. Within moments, the Digital Gate opened and all of the Digidestined stepped through, coming out on the other side to a beautiful beachside. Like in the real world, it was dark out here; but without all the light pollution that came from a highly populated city, so many more stars could be seen in the velvety black sky.
As expected, their Digimon were awaiting them. There were many hugs and greetings as the Chosen met their partners. Bright chatter soon filled the nighttime air. Finally, Hikari knew that the time had come for her to give Daisuke her letter. Finding him alone, she went up to him. "Daisuke, can I talk with you a second?"
The holder of the Digimentals of Courage and Friendship nodded. "Yeah sure Hikari. Actually, I wanted to talk with you too."
The two went off by themselves, just out of sight of the others. When they were far enough, Hikari stopped, taking her letter out of her pocket. "Daisuke, I wanted to give you this. It's something that I've been meaning to say to you for a long time. I hope you won't think it's too late in arriving."
Daisuke looked at the letter in surprise. Slowly, he reached into his own pocket, bringing out an envelope of his own. "I guess we both had something to say tonight. Here's a letter I wanted to give to you." He handed it to her as she passed hers to his.
As he opened and began to read her letter, she did the same for his.
From the moment I saw you, my heart stopped. For a long time afterwards, I couldn't get my heart to work right whenever I was around you. Although, you never knew that, did you? I can't say I blame you. Every time it seemed as if I had moved ahead with you, the wall between us became a little higher. I had a name for that wall: Takeru Takashi.
He was my rival for your affections, with me on the losing side. It's odd though; I never hated him. It certainly wasn't his fault that he had that history with you. And in the end, he's still one of the best friends I've ever had. I envied him only one thing: his having captured your heart. I knew it to be true, even if you hadn't at the time. I remember wishing so often that you and I could have known each other as long as you had known him. I thought maybe then, I could have been something more than a friend.
I think I tried too hard then, whereas Takeru really had to do nothing to win your affections. He always just stood close to you, only as your friend, pretending not to know why I insulted him all the time. He asked me once, how I really thought of him, if I really did hate him. It was tempting to tell him just how much his friendship, his closeness with you hurt me, angered me, made me want to hate him. But I couldn't, because in the end, I had to admit that he was really my friend.
Even after I realized just how you two felt about each other, I had a hard time dealing with it. Many nights were spent with me throwing darts at Takeru's picture and violent dreams with him beaten by my hand. But I should have known before; after all, how could I compete with two people who had Digimon that were compatible with each other? Okay, so that really isn't concrete proof, but really, Angemon and Angewomon? I really had been surprised when I found out that there hadn't been an Angebabymon.
You're still in my heart, although now only as a friend. You know that I'm over you now. I've had the love of someone for a long time now, so that isn't as much of a declaration as it could be, but it'll do. But you were my first love, one that I shall never forget. As someone once said in a song, "You were my first love. I never knew love, until there was you."
I will never forget how I felt when I was around you; how I knew that I loved you. It is because of that feeling that I have found someone who loves me and whom I love in return. Now I know why I never had a chance with you, Hikari.
But I also want to thank you, for without knowing what that feeling was like in the first place, I would never have found the one to whom my heart truly belongs.
They both looked up from their letters, with small, gentle smiles on their faces. As they looked into each other's eyes, a sense of understanding passed between them. Things that had been left long unsaid between them were now in the open. But instead of finding recrimination, there was only peace.
"I guess that's it huh?" asked Daisuke.
Hikari nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is."
Daisuke grinned, and pulled Hikari into a hug. "I really am glad you're my friend Hikari."
"I'm glad you're my friend too Daisuke," smiled Hikari, squeezing Daisuke close to her.
There was nothing else that needed to be said and they knew it. They separated and went back to the group. Takeru was there, waiting for Hikari. Out of the earshot of the others, the two of them spoke, ending their conversation with a light kiss.
Daisuke in turn, found himself hand-in-hand with his own love. He smiled, feeling the warmth flowing between their hands, knowing that this was just one of the many moments that were yet to come into their lives. His lover looked at him, his violet eyes curious.
"Everything go well?" asked Ken.
Daisuke nodded. "Yeah, it did, better than I expected actually." He kissed his lover on the cheek. "Do you want to know what I'm thinking about right now?"
Ken's violet eyes turned from curious to slightly playful. "Oh? What?"
"You, and how much I love you."