"Too old are you to begin training, started late your father did and turned to the darkside he did mhm." Yoda told Luke
"But Master Yoda, I really want to be a Jedi Knight like my father!" Luke whined
"Mhmm" Yoda smiled "Turn to the darkside you will not, smart you are..." he continued to think "Be a jedi you shall not!"
"I'll pay you in cash!" Luke quickly said
"Training begins now, young padawan."
"Luke..." a female voice came "Luke..." she repeats "LUKE WILL YOU PLEASE ANSWER!" she then shouted
"What? Oh... who are you?" Luke asked the spirt.
"I am Padmé Amidala, your mother..." the spirt explained
"Cool... I have a mother..." Luke exclaimed in awe "a spirt mother..."
"A jedi you are not! Become a spirt how did you?" Yoda cried
"Anakin taught me..." Padmé said
"Who's Anakin?" Luke asked
"Your father... Darth Vader who wears Karkhi Underwear." Padmé said (Sorry, I have this obsession with Karhi Underwear at the moment)
"I am Darth Beckle-Boo!" a shout came, and a short sith wearing Karkhi Underwear and a Pink Boob-Tube jumped out from behind a tree, the sith had lots of freckles and was carring a lightsaber which had a handle a metre long. "I wear only Karkhi Undies and Pink boob-tubes! Stylish!" she cried "I am the apprentice of Darth Vader... He isn't a very good master because I still don't know how to cook cupcakes in a mini solar-heated oven."
"Padawan Luke, kill this sith you shall, your first task this is mhm..." Yoda exclaimed and threw Luke a blue lightsaber
*buzz... buzz...* the lightsabers turned on. Darth Beckle-Boo's lightsaber crystal was only five centimetres as she tried to slash at Luke, he ignited his saber and cut deeply into her arm. She screamed in pain and jumped back behind the tree and a small, tiny tiny ship rose into the air with her head sticking out at the top because she didn't fit. "Adious Amigos!" she screamed down to the spirt, Jedi and Padawan beneath her. "Oh and Luke? I think your hot!" At that she lost control and her ship blasted into ablivions and she was gone.
"Good ridance to bad rubbish!" Luke exclaimed
"Luke..." Padmé said "I'm dissapointed with you but also glad, I bet Ani was cheating on me with her."
"Think that I do not!" Yoda exclaimed "Still loves you the ex-jedi does... mhmmm!"
Padmé grinned and dissapeared into the sky... "Then I can turn him back!"
Yoda got angry "Go near him you cannot!!!!!!" but she had already gone. "Continue young Padawan" he said to Luke and pulled out his own saber to duel the son of Vader.
***THE END***