::Between Love and Hate::
Himura Kawaii
Chapter Eleven
*** Disclaimers apply... Blah blah. RK's not mine. Hail the Great Watsuki- sama. I'm now a college stud, but still poor!!.... Don't sue me! ^_^
"I just want him back." Kaori quietly whispered into the skies. "I need him back."
She was in her room, sitting on her bay window, watching the clouds float over her. She remembered the night Kenji came to her room, begging her to admit her feelings. But she was too stubborn then. Full of pride that wasn't of much use.
Kaori regretted every bad thing she did. If she could take it all away and bring back time, she would.
But she can't.
And all she can do is wish for him.
"Please come back, Kenji."
And I didn't think about
All the ways I hurt you and myself
And I wouldn't say a thing to you
I keep it to myself in
My mind
All I can't satnd without you
And I won't find the answers
When you're gone
But it's over to you
It's Over
Goo Goo Dolls
"Man what took you so long?!" Shino grinned happily as Kenji stepped out of the shadows.
He still looked like the Kenji they used to know, Shino observed. But something in him had changed. He looked tired and his usually cheerful violet orbs were dim. Shino also noted that Kenji lost weight, his hair had grown longer and he looked kind of rugged.
"No, I believe the question is, what happened to you?!" Shino added, eyeing Kenji disapprovingly. "Did your parents cut off your allowance?"
Kenji smiled slowly and patted Shino on the back affectionately. "Is that how you welcome your friends back? You bomb them with questions as soon as you see them?!" Kenji kidded Shino.
Shino's face lightened. "At least you still got some sense of humor, ne, Kenji?" He smiled and then turned serious again. "But, man, you have a lot of explaining to do. You left us here without saying goodbye. That was unacceptable!"
"Gomen nasai, Shino." Kenji sighed and sat down at the seat Kaori vacated hours ago. "I didn't know what I was doing then." He paused. "Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing now, either!"
Shino nodded. "So, how have you been?" He decided to make the conversation as light as possible.
"Good." Kenji smiled again. "I've been better."
"Was Kyoto good?"
"Yeah, still the same."
There was a pause as no one spoke anything. This silence went on for minutes.
Shino spoke again.
"I don't suppose you expect me to ask you about the weather, or the traffic, right Kenji? So I'll just go straight to the point. You know I'm not one to do things subtly."
Kenji didn't move nor did he react. Instead, he spoke too.
"How is she?"
"I'm scared for her, Sou." Misao looked at Soujirou like a lost child. "She's never been like this. Arashi said that too."
Soujirou played with the straw of his latté without paying attention to it. He was also worried about Kaori. "I don't know, Misao. We can't reach her. Sure, she opens up and tells us what she feels, but somehow, nothing is the same."
Misao nodded. "I feel helpless. Like I'm watching a bad soap opera unfold. Except that in soaps, everyone expects a happy ending. And all we're expecting is a miracle."
"Maybe we could try to divert her attention somewhere else."
"Like where?" Misao perked up.
"Maybe this weekend we could all go to the beach or something." Sou paused. "I know this sounds lame and I know nothing we tried worked. But maybe we could set her up with someone else."
Misao backed away. "Maybe that's not such a good idea, Sou. Kaori's been from one bad relationship to another."
"I guess." Sou nodded, feeling useless. "Isn't there anything we can do?"
"All we can do right now is be there for her." Misao shrugged.
"This is so frustrating."
Shino looked away. Why was he cursed to be the one to tell the real case?
"What do you want me to say, Kenji? That she's fine and she's doing great? I know you know that she isn't and it's driving us crazy, Kenji."
It was Kenji's turn to look away. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
Shino felt something burst inside him as he heard Kenji say that. "Oh, yeah Kenji. She's not eating anymore. She doesn't even want to speak at all. In fact, she's having a breakdown, Kenji. She's not Kaori anymore!"
"And what do you say to that? 'I'm sorry'?! Is that the best you could do?! That is SO lame, Kenji!" Shino kicked the dirt so hard that bits of soil and grass flew everywhere.
Kenji stood up and faced Shino. "What? What could I say!? Do you think I'm having a grand time at Kyoto?! Those three months were hell for me too! In fact, ever since I came here, life has been hell! I don't even know why I love her in the first place!"
Shino didn't say anything.
"And, oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that in my frustration over her, I drank myself sick the night I came back to Kyoto?! And, what do you know? In the process I mistook Tomoe for Kaori!"
Shino could feel his stomach recoiling. He grabbed Kenji's shirt and shouted at his face.
"Damn, what did you do Kenji?! You asshole, tell me what you did!!"
"Yeah, I'll take the red one, this white top and this pair of faded jeans, thanks." Meimi smiled at the cashier and handed her credit card.
She had just finished choosing a blouse in the mall and she was now leaning over the cash register, waiting for her purchases. She lazily watched people passing by outside the store.
Suddenly she spotted a familiar face going into the store across from the one she's in.
Meimi furrowed her brow and walked closer towards the door.
"Tomoe-san?!"
It was she, the same long, layered hair and the same, exact grace. Even the height and the features were alike. There was no mistaking it, the woman was Tomoe.
But what was she doing here in Kyoto? Meimi wondered.
She tried to call her to be sure, but Tomoe was already inside the store.
Meimi unconsciously ran her eye on the name of the store and quickly scanned their products on the window. She suddenly felt coldness numb her entire body.
"Masaka.. Masaka!"
Kenji slowly brought his head up to face Shino. His face betrayed everything he would say and more.
"I got her pregnant, Shino." Kenji paused, and then as if saying it again would make it more real, he repeated, "Tomoe is pregnant."
"Shit." Shino muttered. "Shit!!!!!"
"For a smart guy, how the hell could you be so dumb, Kenji?!" Shino screamed.
Kenji spoke no words.
"So what are you going to do now?" Shino asked. "Why did you even come back?!"
Kenji stared at the ground. "Our parents decided that Tomoe and I should transfer here to avoid gossip. We'll finish the rest of high school here and then.. and then.." Kenji trailed off.
"And then what?"
"And then we'll get married." Kenji barely whispered. "Our future is even secured, the restaurant in Tokyo was put in my name. Even the house is mine now." Kenji smiled bitterly.
"How could you?!" Shino was really infuriated now. "How could you be so spineless!?"
Kenji held his hands out. "I don't have any choice, Shino! I don't have anything left. Can't you see? This is the life I am supposed to live. I am empty Shino. I have nothing left." Kenji repeated.
"What about Kaori?" Shino asked.
"Kaori doesn't need me, Shino. Are you blind or what?! She's not the issue here, she's not the point. It's over, whatever it is that happened between us. I don't mean a thing to her."
"Then what is the point, Kenji? If Kaori's not the point, then how come you're so depressed at what seems to me like a good, stable future? If Kaori's not the point, you'd be with Tomoe right now, instead of pouring out your woes here with me!" Shino screamed at Kenji.
"You're the one who's blind! You two are both stupid, you know that?!" Shino shook his head at the irony of the situation.
How does it feel when you're out on your own
And now it's too late to come home
And it's hard to be free when you're down on your knees
What A Scene
Goo Goo Dolls
"Maybe it would be good to rest for a while." Kaori murmured to herself. "It would be nice to fly away from all the pain."
She walked towards her bathroom and placed herself in the tub.
She was so tired, tired of all the things that were happening.
Everything was going around in circles. Nothing was coming out of it.
She couldn't understand it. Why was she going crazy over some boy she hardly knew?
Why was she pining over a mistake that wasn't really that big?
Why. Why. Why.
She was so tired.
"Maybe it would be good to rest for a while." Kaori repeated again as she stepped out of the tub and went to the medicine cabinet above the mirror.
She scanned the contents of her cabinet until she found what she was looking for.
As she closed the door, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Kaori ran a hand over her features and smiled slowly.
She was so tired.
"Maybe it would be good to rest for a while..."
*** Man, what started out as a humorous story of not knowing what you want evolved into something so serious... I think I'm whacked!!! :O I didn't want this story to end just yet cuz you guys said you wanted it longer.. :) But is it okay? Or did I overdo it? Am I worrying too much?!
I'm sorry this took a long time to come out.. it's really hard for me to write stuff when I'm happy.. hehe.. and I guess I'm happy now. ^__^
I can't get over the fact that I wrote something so suicidal and all that in Between Love and Hate.. I mean, I haven't even experienced any of these!!! Hope you guys like it. Tell me please.. ^__^
Domo arigatou gozaimasta for bearing with me and helping me write better fics. :D You don't know how happy I get whenever I receive mail and text messages and reviews urging me to continue my stories.. :D You guys simply ROCK!! ^^;;
'Til next chappies minna!!
Himura Kawaii
Chapter Eleven
*** Disclaimers apply... Blah blah. RK's not mine. Hail the Great Watsuki- sama. I'm now a college stud, but still poor!!.... Don't sue me! ^_^
"I just want him back." Kaori quietly whispered into the skies. "I need him back."
She was in her room, sitting on her bay window, watching the clouds float over her. She remembered the night Kenji came to her room, begging her to admit her feelings. But she was too stubborn then. Full of pride that wasn't of much use.
Kaori regretted every bad thing she did. If she could take it all away and bring back time, she would.
But she can't.
And all she can do is wish for him.
"Please come back, Kenji."
And I didn't think about
All the ways I hurt you and myself
And I wouldn't say a thing to you
I keep it to myself in
My mind
All I can't satnd without you
And I won't find the answers
When you're gone
But it's over to you
It's Over
Goo Goo Dolls
"Man what took you so long?!" Shino grinned happily as Kenji stepped out of the shadows.
He still looked like the Kenji they used to know, Shino observed. But something in him had changed. He looked tired and his usually cheerful violet orbs were dim. Shino also noted that Kenji lost weight, his hair had grown longer and he looked kind of rugged.
"No, I believe the question is, what happened to you?!" Shino added, eyeing Kenji disapprovingly. "Did your parents cut off your allowance?"
Kenji smiled slowly and patted Shino on the back affectionately. "Is that how you welcome your friends back? You bomb them with questions as soon as you see them?!" Kenji kidded Shino.
Shino's face lightened. "At least you still got some sense of humor, ne, Kenji?" He smiled and then turned serious again. "But, man, you have a lot of explaining to do. You left us here without saying goodbye. That was unacceptable!"
"Gomen nasai, Shino." Kenji sighed and sat down at the seat Kaori vacated hours ago. "I didn't know what I was doing then." He paused. "Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing now, either!"
Shino nodded. "So, how have you been?" He decided to make the conversation as light as possible.
"Good." Kenji smiled again. "I've been better."
"Was Kyoto good?"
"Yeah, still the same."
There was a pause as no one spoke anything. This silence went on for minutes.
Shino spoke again.
"I don't suppose you expect me to ask you about the weather, or the traffic, right Kenji? So I'll just go straight to the point. You know I'm not one to do things subtly."
Kenji didn't move nor did he react. Instead, he spoke too.
"How is she?"
"I'm scared for her, Sou." Misao looked at Soujirou like a lost child. "She's never been like this. Arashi said that too."
Soujirou played with the straw of his latté without paying attention to it. He was also worried about Kaori. "I don't know, Misao. We can't reach her. Sure, she opens up and tells us what she feels, but somehow, nothing is the same."
Misao nodded. "I feel helpless. Like I'm watching a bad soap opera unfold. Except that in soaps, everyone expects a happy ending. And all we're expecting is a miracle."
"Maybe we could try to divert her attention somewhere else."
"Like where?" Misao perked up.
"Maybe this weekend we could all go to the beach or something." Sou paused. "I know this sounds lame and I know nothing we tried worked. But maybe we could set her up with someone else."
Misao backed away. "Maybe that's not such a good idea, Sou. Kaori's been from one bad relationship to another."
"I guess." Sou nodded, feeling useless. "Isn't there anything we can do?"
"All we can do right now is be there for her." Misao shrugged.
"This is so frustrating."
Shino looked away. Why was he cursed to be the one to tell the real case?
"What do you want me to say, Kenji? That she's fine and she's doing great? I know you know that she isn't and it's driving us crazy, Kenji."
It was Kenji's turn to look away. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
Shino felt something burst inside him as he heard Kenji say that. "Oh, yeah Kenji. She's not eating anymore. She doesn't even want to speak at all. In fact, she's having a breakdown, Kenji. She's not Kaori anymore!"
"And what do you say to that? 'I'm sorry'?! Is that the best you could do?! That is SO lame, Kenji!" Shino kicked the dirt so hard that bits of soil and grass flew everywhere.
Kenji stood up and faced Shino. "What? What could I say!? Do you think I'm having a grand time at Kyoto?! Those three months were hell for me too! In fact, ever since I came here, life has been hell! I don't even know why I love her in the first place!"
Shino didn't say anything.
"And, oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that in my frustration over her, I drank myself sick the night I came back to Kyoto?! And, what do you know? In the process I mistook Tomoe for Kaori!"
Shino could feel his stomach recoiling. He grabbed Kenji's shirt and shouted at his face.
"Damn, what did you do Kenji?! You asshole, tell me what you did!!"
"Yeah, I'll take the red one, this white top and this pair of faded jeans, thanks." Meimi smiled at the cashier and handed her credit card.
She had just finished choosing a blouse in the mall and she was now leaning over the cash register, waiting for her purchases. She lazily watched people passing by outside the store.
Suddenly she spotted a familiar face going into the store across from the one she's in.
Meimi furrowed her brow and walked closer towards the door.
"Tomoe-san?!"
It was she, the same long, layered hair and the same, exact grace. Even the height and the features were alike. There was no mistaking it, the woman was Tomoe.
But what was she doing here in Kyoto? Meimi wondered.
She tried to call her to be sure, but Tomoe was already inside the store.
Meimi unconsciously ran her eye on the name of the store and quickly scanned their products on the window. She suddenly felt coldness numb her entire body.
"Masaka.. Masaka!"
Kenji slowly brought his head up to face Shino. His face betrayed everything he would say and more.
"I got her pregnant, Shino." Kenji paused, and then as if saying it again would make it more real, he repeated, "Tomoe is pregnant."
"Shit." Shino muttered. "Shit!!!!!"
"For a smart guy, how the hell could you be so dumb, Kenji?!" Shino screamed.
Kenji spoke no words.
"So what are you going to do now?" Shino asked. "Why did you even come back?!"
Kenji stared at the ground. "Our parents decided that Tomoe and I should transfer here to avoid gossip. We'll finish the rest of high school here and then.. and then.." Kenji trailed off.
"And then what?"
"And then we'll get married." Kenji barely whispered. "Our future is even secured, the restaurant in Tokyo was put in my name. Even the house is mine now." Kenji smiled bitterly.
"How could you?!" Shino was really infuriated now. "How could you be so spineless!?"
Kenji held his hands out. "I don't have any choice, Shino! I don't have anything left. Can't you see? This is the life I am supposed to live. I am empty Shino. I have nothing left." Kenji repeated.
"What about Kaori?" Shino asked.
"Kaori doesn't need me, Shino. Are you blind or what?! She's not the issue here, she's not the point. It's over, whatever it is that happened between us. I don't mean a thing to her."
"Then what is the point, Kenji? If Kaori's not the point, then how come you're so depressed at what seems to me like a good, stable future? If Kaori's not the point, you'd be with Tomoe right now, instead of pouring out your woes here with me!" Shino screamed at Kenji.
"You're the one who's blind! You two are both stupid, you know that?!" Shino shook his head at the irony of the situation.
How does it feel when you're out on your own
And now it's too late to come home
And it's hard to be free when you're down on your knees
What A Scene
Goo Goo Dolls
"Maybe it would be good to rest for a while." Kaori murmured to herself. "It would be nice to fly away from all the pain."
She walked towards her bathroom and placed herself in the tub.
She was so tired, tired of all the things that were happening.
Everything was going around in circles. Nothing was coming out of it.
She couldn't understand it. Why was she going crazy over some boy she hardly knew?
Why was she pining over a mistake that wasn't really that big?
Why. Why. Why.
She was so tired.
"Maybe it would be good to rest for a while." Kaori repeated again as she stepped out of the tub and went to the medicine cabinet above the mirror.
She scanned the contents of her cabinet until she found what she was looking for.
As she closed the door, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Kaori ran a hand over her features and smiled slowly.
She was so tired.
"Maybe it would be good to rest for a while..."
*** Man, what started out as a humorous story of not knowing what you want evolved into something so serious... I think I'm whacked!!! :O I didn't want this story to end just yet cuz you guys said you wanted it longer.. :) But is it okay? Or did I overdo it? Am I worrying too much?!
I'm sorry this took a long time to come out.. it's really hard for me to write stuff when I'm happy.. hehe.. and I guess I'm happy now. ^__^
I can't get over the fact that I wrote something so suicidal and all that in Between Love and Hate.. I mean, I haven't even experienced any of these!!! Hope you guys like it. Tell me please.. ^__^
Domo arigatou gozaimasta for bearing with me and helping me write better fics. :D You don't know how happy I get whenever I receive mail and text messages and reviews urging me to continue my stories.. :D You guys simply ROCK!! ^^;;
'Til next chappies minna!!