Disclaimer: My prior disclaimers apply to this one as well...
Relena and the others were surprised at the disembodied head's revelation. The Holy Grail was a mythical artifact that would bring peace to the land. But none of them had any clues as how to find it.
"What should we do?" Duo asked. "I would like to bring peace to the land. Hopefully, it means removing all the despots from the world!"
Heero furrowed his brows. "We need to cover as much ground as possible. I suggest that we send Sir Wufei to the north to search, Sir Quatre to the east, Duo to the south, and Relena and Pagan to the west."
"What about you?" Relena asked.
"I'll figure it out eventually," he told her. "OK, let's split up gang!"
Everyone stared at Heero in astonishment for a moment. For some reason, the manner in which Heero spoke the last phrase disturbed them slightly. Anyhow, the group quickly split up and headed off to their respective destination, leaving Heero to sit in quiet contemplation among the Maguanacs.
Wufei's Journey.
Wufei journeyed alone to the north. After walking for several days, he came upon a large cliff at the edge of a large sea. It was raining and the young knight was not particularly pleased with the slow progress that he was making on his quest. So far, he had no clues as to the Holy Grail. Suddenly, he saw a brilliant light in the distance. It appeared to be a large, glowing chalice. As he drew closer, he realized that it was coming from the top of a large, stone tower.
He anxiously hurried up to the tower and banged loudly on the front door.
"Open the door! Open the door!" he demanded loudly. "In the name of Queen Relena, open the door!"
There was some shuffling and a loud clatter. After a moment, the door slowly creaked open to reveal dozens of women dressed in white nuns outfits.
"Hello!" the girls squealed as they saw Wufei.
"Welcome, gentle knight, to the Castle Chlamydia," the blond nun with blue eyes told him.
Wufei's eyes widened slightly.
"The Castle Chlamydia?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes. Oh, dear, it's not a very good name, is it?" the blond said. "Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need!"
"Art thou the keepers of the Holy Grail?" Wufei asked. "I thought I saw something that could be the Holy Grail at the top of the tower!"
"The what?" asked the blond woman innocently.
"The Grail," Wufei repeated impatiently. "Is it here?"
"Ohh, but you are tired and must rest," the woman said, ignoring Wufei's question. She turned to look at two of the women. "Prepare a bed for our guest."
"Yes, Miss Sally!" the women acknowledged happily and dashed up the stairs of the tower.
Sally turned to look at Wufei with a seductive eye.
"The beds here are warm and soft...and very, very big," she smiled slyly at him.
"Well, look...I...uhh..." began Wufei nervously as the women dragged him into the tower.
"What is your name, handsome knight?" Sally purred.
"My name is Sir Wufei..." Wufei stated. He quickly added for good measure, "Sir Wufei...the Chaste."
"Mine is Sally Po, but you can call me anything you want," she smiled sensuously.
"Look, for heaven's sake, just show me the Grail, if you have it!" Wufei yelled.
"Oh my," Sally breathed, "you have suffered much. You are delirious!"
"Nay! Look! I'm sure it must be around here somewhere!" Wufei shouted.
"Sir Wufei, you would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality?" Sally asked with a feigned hurt in her eyes.
"Well...I...uhhh......"
"I am sure our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but six score young blondes and brunettes, all between the sixteen and nineteen years of age. Cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. It is a lonely life, bathing, dressing, undressing, and making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights."
Sally and several girls pulled Wufei to a nearby couch. "Oh dear. Come, you must lie here. You are wounded!"
Wufei looked down at himself. He did not appear to be wounded.
"I am a doctor, you must let me attend to you immediately!" Sally told him. She clapped her hands and several girls in nurse outfits appeared quickly around him.
"Umm...listen...I need to find the Holy Grail," Wufei explained. "Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?"
"Try to relax, and let us practice our art!" Sally told him. "Let us examine you!"
Wufei slapped one of the woman's hands that had strayed dangerously near the zippers of his pants.
"There's nothing wrong with that," he grumbled. "Now I must continue with my quest."
"Please," Sally urged him. "Let us examine you!"
Again, the hands slowly moved down to his pants.
"Look, this cannot be! I am sworn to chastity," Wufei protested. He tried getting off the couch, but several women pushed him back down. He grunted, "Injustice! I do not wish to fight you onnas! Let me go!"
A dozen more girls appeared at the stairwell and their eyes widened when they saw Wufei being forcibly held down by a dozen young women.
"Hello!" the girls squealed. "Hello! Hello!"
"More onnas!" groaned Wufei miserably. "I have no time for ye weaklings. Was that the Holy Grail at the top of your tower or not?"
"Holy Grail?" asked another woman with long, dark purple hair. This woman had approached quietly with the new band of women.
"Yes, I saw a brilliant cup that could be the Holy Grail at the top of your tower. Tell me! Do you have the Holy Grail?!" he cried out.
The woman shook her head. "I am sorry. We do not have the Grail. Oh dear, wicked, naughty Sally! She must have done it again?"
Sally looked sheepishly at the other woman.
"I am sorry, Noin," Sally apologized to the other woman.
"Excuse me?" Wufei looked confused.
Noin smiled at Wufei.
"This isn't the first time that Sally has done this. She puts up a grail shaped beacon up near the light tower, to attract young knights. She must be punished. There is only one acceptable punishment for her actions. Sir Wufei, you must tie her down on a bed and spank her!" Noin said with a wicked smile.
Wufei's jaw dropped. "Uhhh...."
"A spanking!" cried out the girls in glee. "A spanking! A spanking!"
Noin's voice grew husky. "You must spank her well. After you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you please. Then, you must spank me!"
Several other girls chirped up as well. "Spank me too! Spank me!"
"Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!" Sally shouted happily.
"And after the spanking...we can have `extra fun'!" Noin hinted mysteriously.
"Extra fun! Extra fun!" cried out the other women, their voices building up to a crescendo.
"Well," Wufei mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I guess I could stay a bit longer!"
Suddenly, the doors of the tower burst open and Heero ran in, his sword in hand.
"Sir Wufei!" Heero cried out.
"Oh, hello, Sir Heero in Shining Spandex," Wufei greeted the other knight.
"Quick!" Heero shouted, gesturing at the door.
"What?" Wufei asked in confusion.
"We must leave!" Heero urged his fellow knight. "Quick!"
"Why?" Wufei asked, as he was beginning to enjoy the attention of the dozen or so women grasping at him.
"You are in great peril!" Heero stated.
"No, he's not!" protested Sally, putting her arms around Wufei's neck.
"Silence, foul temptress!" Heero hissed, pointing his sword at Sally.
"Hmm...she's got a point," Wufei admitted. "I don't feel like I'm in any danger."
"Come on!" Heero insisted. "I will cover your escape!"
"Look, Sir Heero, I'm fine," Wufei stated simply. "I can tackle this lot single-handed!"
"Yes!" cooed Noin. "Let him tackle us single-handed!"
"Yes!" agreed other girls. "Let him tackle us!"
"No, Sir Wufei! Come on!" Heero called out.
"No! Really, I can handle these onnas easily!" Wufei disagreed.
"Ohh...yes...let him handle us!" Sally moaned. Several other girls agreed whole-heartedly.
"No! Quick!" Heero insisted again.
"I can beat all these onnas. There's only a little over a hundred of them!" Wufei announced in an arrogant voice.
"Yes, let him beat us! Whip us! Please!" cried out Sally.
"Yes, we haven't a chance!" Noin agreed.
Heero dove into the crowd of women, pushing them off of Wufei. Finally, he grabbed the reluctant Wufei and dragged him forcibly out of the tower. Heero slammed the door behind him.
Once outside the tower, Heero calmed down and breathed a sigh of relief.
"I am glad I saved you in time. You were in great peril," Heero informed him gravely.
"I don't think I was," Wufei grunted skeptically, shaking his head.
"Yes, you were. Terrible peril," Heero reiterated.
Wufei turned stoutly around. His warrior's blood had been stirred. It was a challenge he could not deny himself. It was only a coward that would run from battle. There was a strong breeze that caused his pony tail to stir in the air dramatically.
"Let me return to face the peril!" he declared with a firm voice.
"No, the peril is too perilous!" Heero shouted.
"Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample and taste as much peril as I can," Wufei explained in what he believed was a quite rational tone of voice. He was hoping Heero would understand the logic.
Heero shook his head furiously. "No, we must find the Holy Grail! I have a clue!"
Wufei turned to look at Heero with pleading eyes. "Oh please, let me just have a little bit of peril?"
Heero continued to shake his head. "No, it's unhealthy."
Wufei studied Heero for a moment. Then, a possibility dawned upon him.
"I bet thou art gay!" Wufei asserted, pointing one of his fingers at Heero.
Heero quickly turned his back to Wufei.
"No, I'm not," he muttered softly. He stalked off angrily. "Come on, Wufei."
After casting a wistful look at the tower, Wufei followed Sir Heero. Alas, bringing peace and justice to the world must come first. But he quickly jotted down the address of Castle Chlamydia for safekeeping until a later time.
Relena and the others were surprised at the disembodied head's revelation. The Holy Grail was a mythical artifact that would bring peace to the land. But none of them had any clues as how to find it.
"What should we do?" Duo asked. "I would like to bring peace to the land. Hopefully, it means removing all the despots from the world!"
Heero furrowed his brows. "We need to cover as much ground as possible. I suggest that we send Sir Wufei to the north to search, Sir Quatre to the east, Duo to the south, and Relena and Pagan to the west."
"What about you?" Relena asked.
"I'll figure it out eventually," he told her. "OK, let's split up gang!"
Everyone stared at Heero in astonishment for a moment. For some reason, the manner in which Heero spoke the last phrase disturbed them slightly. Anyhow, the group quickly split up and headed off to their respective destination, leaving Heero to sit in quiet contemplation among the Maguanacs.
Wufei's Journey.
Wufei journeyed alone to the north. After walking for several days, he came upon a large cliff at the edge of a large sea. It was raining and the young knight was not particularly pleased with the slow progress that he was making on his quest. So far, he had no clues as to the Holy Grail. Suddenly, he saw a brilliant light in the distance. It appeared to be a large, glowing chalice. As he drew closer, he realized that it was coming from the top of a large, stone tower.
He anxiously hurried up to the tower and banged loudly on the front door.
"Open the door! Open the door!" he demanded loudly. "In the name of Queen Relena, open the door!"
There was some shuffling and a loud clatter. After a moment, the door slowly creaked open to reveal dozens of women dressed in white nuns outfits.
"Hello!" the girls squealed as they saw Wufei.
"Welcome, gentle knight, to the Castle Chlamydia," the blond nun with blue eyes told him.
Wufei's eyes widened slightly.
"The Castle Chlamydia?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes. Oh, dear, it's not a very good name, is it?" the blond said. "Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need!"
"Art thou the keepers of the Holy Grail?" Wufei asked. "I thought I saw something that could be the Holy Grail at the top of the tower!"
"The what?" asked the blond woman innocently.
"The Grail," Wufei repeated impatiently. "Is it here?"
"Ohh, but you are tired and must rest," the woman said, ignoring Wufei's question. She turned to look at two of the women. "Prepare a bed for our guest."
"Yes, Miss Sally!" the women acknowledged happily and dashed up the stairs of the tower.
Sally turned to look at Wufei with a seductive eye.
"The beds here are warm and soft...and very, very big," she smiled slyly at him.
"Well, look...I...uhh..." began Wufei nervously as the women dragged him into the tower.
"What is your name, handsome knight?" Sally purred.
"My name is Sir Wufei..." Wufei stated. He quickly added for good measure, "Sir Wufei...the Chaste."
"Mine is Sally Po, but you can call me anything you want," she smiled sensuously.
"Look, for heaven's sake, just show me the Grail, if you have it!" Wufei yelled.
"Oh my," Sally breathed, "you have suffered much. You are delirious!"
"Nay! Look! I'm sure it must be around here somewhere!" Wufei shouted.
"Sir Wufei, you would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality?" Sally asked with a feigned hurt in her eyes.
"Well...I...uhhh......"
"I am sure our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but six score young blondes and brunettes, all between the sixteen and nineteen years of age. Cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. It is a lonely life, bathing, dressing, undressing, and making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights."
Sally and several girls pulled Wufei to a nearby couch. "Oh dear. Come, you must lie here. You are wounded!"
Wufei looked down at himself. He did not appear to be wounded.
"I am a doctor, you must let me attend to you immediately!" Sally told him. She clapped her hands and several girls in nurse outfits appeared quickly around him.
"Umm...listen...I need to find the Holy Grail," Wufei explained. "Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?"
"Try to relax, and let us practice our art!" Sally told him. "Let us examine you!"
Wufei slapped one of the woman's hands that had strayed dangerously near the zippers of his pants.
"There's nothing wrong with that," he grumbled. "Now I must continue with my quest."
"Please," Sally urged him. "Let us examine you!"
Again, the hands slowly moved down to his pants.
"Look, this cannot be! I am sworn to chastity," Wufei protested. He tried getting off the couch, but several women pushed him back down. He grunted, "Injustice! I do not wish to fight you onnas! Let me go!"
A dozen more girls appeared at the stairwell and their eyes widened when they saw Wufei being forcibly held down by a dozen young women.
"Hello!" the girls squealed. "Hello! Hello!"
"More onnas!" groaned Wufei miserably. "I have no time for ye weaklings. Was that the Holy Grail at the top of your tower or not?"
"Holy Grail?" asked another woman with long, dark purple hair. This woman had approached quietly with the new band of women.
"Yes, I saw a brilliant cup that could be the Holy Grail at the top of your tower. Tell me! Do you have the Holy Grail?!" he cried out.
The woman shook her head. "I am sorry. We do not have the Grail. Oh dear, wicked, naughty Sally! She must have done it again?"
Sally looked sheepishly at the other woman.
"I am sorry, Noin," Sally apologized to the other woman.
"Excuse me?" Wufei looked confused.
Noin smiled at Wufei.
"This isn't the first time that Sally has done this. She puts up a grail shaped beacon up near the light tower, to attract young knights. She must be punished. There is only one acceptable punishment for her actions. Sir Wufei, you must tie her down on a bed and spank her!" Noin said with a wicked smile.
Wufei's jaw dropped. "Uhhh...."
"A spanking!" cried out the girls in glee. "A spanking! A spanking!"
Noin's voice grew husky. "You must spank her well. After you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you please. Then, you must spank me!"
Several other girls chirped up as well. "Spank me too! Spank me!"
"Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!" Sally shouted happily.
"And after the spanking...we can have `extra fun'!" Noin hinted mysteriously.
"Extra fun! Extra fun!" cried out the other women, their voices building up to a crescendo.
"Well," Wufei mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I guess I could stay a bit longer!"
Suddenly, the doors of the tower burst open and Heero ran in, his sword in hand.
"Sir Wufei!" Heero cried out.
"Oh, hello, Sir Heero in Shining Spandex," Wufei greeted the other knight.
"Quick!" Heero shouted, gesturing at the door.
"What?" Wufei asked in confusion.
"We must leave!" Heero urged his fellow knight. "Quick!"
"Why?" Wufei asked, as he was beginning to enjoy the attention of the dozen or so women grasping at him.
"You are in great peril!" Heero stated.
"No, he's not!" protested Sally, putting her arms around Wufei's neck.
"Silence, foul temptress!" Heero hissed, pointing his sword at Sally.
"Hmm...she's got a point," Wufei admitted. "I don't feel like I'm in any danger."
"Come on!" Heero insisted. "I will cover your escape!"
"Look, Sir Heero, I'm fine," Wufei stated simply. "I can tackle this lot single-handed!"
"Yes!" cooed Noin. "Let him tackle us single-handed!"
"Yes!" agreed other girls. "Let him tackle us!"
"No, Sir Wufei! Come on!" Heero called out.
"No! Really, I can handle these onnas easily!" Wufei disagreed.
"Ohh...yes...let him handle us!" Sally moaned. Several other girls agreed whole-heartedly.
"No! Quick!" Heero insisted again.
"I can beat all these onnas. There's only a little over a hundred of them!" Wufei announced in an arrogant voice.
"Yes, let him beat us! Whip us! Please!" cried out Sally.
"Yes, we haven't a chance!" Noin agreed.
Heero dove into the crowd of women, pushing them off of Wufei. Finally, he grabbed the reluctant Wufei and dragged him forcibly out of the tower. Heero slammed the door behind him.
Once outside the tower, Heero calmed down and breathed a sigh of relief.
"I am glad I saved you in time. You were in great peril," Heero informed him gravely.
"I don't think I was," Wufei grunted skeptically, shaking his head.
"Yes, you were. Terrible peril," Heero reiterated.
Wufei turned stoutly around. His warrior's blood had been stirred. It was a challenge he could not deny himself. It was only a coward that would run from battle. There was a strong breeze that caused his pony tail to stir in the air dramatically.
"Let me return to face the peril!" he declared with a firm voice.
"No, the peril is too perilous!" Heero shouted.
"Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample and taste as much peril as I can," Wufei explained in what he believed was a quite rational tone of voice. He was hoping Heero would understand the logic.
Heero shook his head furiously. "No, we must find the Holy Grail! I have a clue!"
Wufei turned to look at Heero with pleading eyes. "Oh please, let me just have a little bit of peril?"
Heero continued to shake his head. "No, it's unhealthy."
Wufei studied Heero for a moment. Then, a possibility dawned upon him.
"I bet thou art gay!" Wufei asserted, pointing one of his fingers at Heero.
Heero quickly turned his back to Wufei.
"No, I'm not," he muttered softly. He stalked off angrily. "Come on, Wufei."
After casting a wistful look at the tower, Wufei followed Sir Heero. Alas, bringing peace and justice to the world must come first. But he quickly jotted down the address of Castle Chlamydia for safekeeping until a later time.