A/N: Riiiiight. Less angst this chapter. Swear. More hobbits, too (as per reader request). ;) I'm going for a small change of POV this chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off without mangling the Fellowship TOO badly. If I do, let me know and I'll do a little editing.
Disclaimer: I own Lex. Tolkien and his estate own the Fellowship. I am making no money on all this. If you sue me all you'll get is this headache I have. :p
As soon as Lex had disappeared around the corner, the Fellowship had burst into laughter.
"Legolas, really! That was a cruel thing to do to our hostess!" Sam tried to sound reproachful, but simply couldn't through all his laughter.
"Cruel perhaps, Master Samwise… But I had to test her mettle." And try to help her forget, Legolas amended in his mind.
"Did you see where she shot?" Pippin managed to gasp. "'Tis a good thing Legolas did not assume she would miss and stand in himself!" This only caused Merry to laugh harder until he finally collapsed on the grass. Legolas didn't seem to be quite as amused by this thought and went to retrieve his arrow.
Even Aragorn, Boromir and Gandalf had smiles playing around the corners of their mouths, suggesting that even in this predicament the situation had some levity.
Frodo had begun poking around the backyard while the rest of the Fellowship collected themselves. On top of an overturned bathtub, he discovered a small metal box with metal legs. It appeared to be full of coal. He poked it cautiously with a stick. When that approach yielded nothing, he called over Sam.
"What do you suppose it is, Sam?"
"Well Master Frodo… It looks a bit like my portable stove. But I haven't a clue how one would go about lighting it." Sam picked up his own stick and poked the odd contraption.
"Stove? Has it got any food on it?" Pippin popped up behind Frodo.
"Indeed! We barely had enough food for second breakfast. Nearly lunch and we didn't even have elevensies!" Merry wandered over, ostensibly attracted by the word "food," and stood next to Pippin.
"Lex?" Frodo clambered on top of the upturned tub and peered into Lex's window.
"Yes?" came Lex's voice, sounding a bit strained.
"Erm… We… that is it say, Sam, Merry, Pippin and I have a question."
"No, I will not swordfight with Aragorn," Lex said tersely.
Frodo looked over his shoulder at his companions, slightly perplexed.
"No, you see, we found something out here and we think it might be related to food," Frodo tried to explain.
"Don't eat the berries off the front bushes. They're poisonous," Lex said, sounding like she was only half-listening. A strange clicking was emanating from Lex's room, but because of the window screen Frodo couldn't lean in far enough to see what it was.
"Could you just come take a look? 'Tis right outside here," Frodo said hopefully.
The clicking stopped and Frodo could hear Lex's chair creak as she got up followed by her footsteps as she crossed the floor. "What?" Lex asked, exasperated. Her face appeared at the window quite suddenly, startling Frodo so badly he nearly fell off of the bathtub. Luckily Sam caught him by the belt and steadied him.
"That," said Frodo, pointing sheepishly.
Lex followed the direction his finger was pointing. "It's a hibachi," she sighed. Her explanation was met with blank looks. "A grill. A small, portable stove that burns charcoal covered in lighter fluid." Finally, understanding flashed across four small faces.
"So, can we light it then?" asked Pippin. It was clear to Lex he was thinking with his stomach.
"Absolutely not," said Lex and turned.
"We are not children you know!" Sam piped up. "I am a perfectly skillful cook and I think I can manage to light a fire without burning anything down!"
Lex considered this. They had been adventuring in Middle-earth for quite some time and Sam's words were true.
"All right. If you can light it we'll grill some chicken and roast marshmallows for dessert. Can I go back to work now?" Lex asked mock seriously.
"Thank you, Lex!" chorused four voices. Lex returned to her research, smiling.
"How do you suppose it works?" Merry asked. It was obvious the thought of food was making him anxious.
"Well, she said charcoal… I suppose that is what those little black rocks are. Now, lighter fluid, that I have never heard of," Sam said, regarding the grill as though it were a puzzle to be solved.
"What about this, then?" Pippin handed Sam a small plastic bottle with brightly colored flames on it.
"I cannot read this writing, but," Sam shook the bottle experimentally "it sounds like liquid."
"Don't be a fool, Samwise Gamgee! What would the old Gaffer say if he saw you trying to light a fire by pouring liquid all over your fuel?" Merry inquired.
"Lex said lighter fluid. This is fluid. And by the picture on the bottle, it appears to be linked to fire – or at least lighting things. Lex is a perplexing lady, but I doubt she would lie." With that, Sam poured the remaining contents of the bottle onto the charcoal.
"Now what? Does it just start by itself?" Merry seemed to be enjoying his position as disher-out of sauce. Sam was not impressed.
"Idiot. You need a spark or something." Sam dug through his pockets and produced a tinder and flint. "Stand back," he said. The hobbits stepped back. Sam stepped back as far as he could while keeping his arms (and the flint) over the grill. He turned his head away, closed his eyes, and struck. After that, things seemed to go in slow motion.
Frodo (when questioned later) remembered seeing the sparks fall from Sam's flint and onto the soaked charcoal. He was very doubtful it would work. For a second, nothing had happened and Frodo was about to start laughing. At that instant, Sam opened his eyes and leaned in for a closer look at the grill. In the same instant, a fireball larger than anything Gandalf had produced in his lifetime shot up out of the grill with a loud *whoosh*.
Sam let out a yell that was probably heard back in Middle-earth. Lex ran to the window and looked out only to see Sam lying on the ground and the tree outside her window on fire. Oh no… was all she could think. Lex raced outside and cleared the hobbits away from Sam. The rest of the Fellowship gathered nearby.
"Sam, Sam let me see." Lex gently lifted Sam's hands off of his face and braced herself for what she might see. She appraised the hobbit's face for a minute and then began to giggle.
"Am I that odd-looking now?" howled Sam miserably.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Frodo as he peeked over Lex's shoulder. "Oh," said Frodo. "Oh my." A smile crept up to his lips. Merry and Pippin were smiling as well. "Cheer up Sam! I'm sure Rosie will still love you anyway!" Frodo broke into a laugh.
"What? What is it? Am I permanently disfigured? What?"
"No, no I wouldn't say permanently," Aragorn smirked.
"Will someone please tell me what's wrong with me?" Sam yelled. Lex swallowed her giggles momentarily.
"You've burnt your eyebrows off, Sam!" She giggled again in spite of herself. Even Legolas and Gandalf were smiling.
"I haven't melted my face off?" Sam asked in awe.
"No, not by a long shot. Though you have covered it in soot. I suggest you wash up. I think I'll be cooking dinner," Lex spared a glance at the side of the house and at the tree, which was now only smoldering. "You three, on the other hand," Lex glared at the three remaining hobbits. "You will be scrubbing that scorch mark off the side of my house before my landlord sees it."
Lex turned her back on the chorus of groans and went inside to start dinner.
As amusing as it was to watch the hobbits try to scale a two-story house and scrub it down, Lex soon called them to dinner. Legolas, Aragorn and Boromir volunteered do the rest. They feared the hobbits might hurt themselves if they fell from that height – which one of them inevitably would. Gimli made it abundantly clear he would keep his feet firmly on the ground, thank you.
For the moment however, the ten busied themselves with devouring dinner, which consisted of barbecued chicken, pasta salad and potato chips. The chicken and pasta salad were well received. The potato chips were a little harder to explain.
"So you are saying you've taken perfectly good potatoes, sliced them up, deep fried them and then covered them in salt?" Sam asked.
Lex nodded. "They're good. Try one."
Legolas took an experimental nibble and made a face. "These taste as though they have been soaked in salt water!" he grumbled.
"I think they are quite good," exclaimed Merry.
"Indeed! If you care not for them Legolas, pass the bag here!" seconded Pippin.
Lex smiled and passed Aragorn a can of soda. "Try this," she smiled.
Aragorn stared at the tab appraisingly. After a moment, he took out a dagger and stabbed the top of the can. Lex covered her mouth to stifle the giggles as the contents of the can shot upward, spraying all over a very surprised Aragorn. He tossed the can away as though it were a snake.
"I meant taste it, not murder it," Lex passed him another can after opening the pop top herself. Aragorn sipped the liquid experimentally and then sneezed as the bubbles tickled his nose.
"Strange fare you have here," he muttered and passed the can to Boromir. All of the Fellowship took a turn tasting the sticky-sweet soda. In the end, Lex was surprised that Legolas and Gandalf enjoyed it. Legolas maintained it was as sweet and refreshing as the water of Lorien, while Gandalf simply enjoyed the strange tickling sensation of the bubbles.
As night fell and the sun sank over the neighboring houses, Lex produced a bag of marshmallows and handed them around. Gesturing for them to watch, she spitted hers on a stick and held it over the fire until it was toasted brown all over and then downed it with obvious delight. The rest of the Fellowship followed suit and was presently surprised.
"This is a campfire tradition among us," she explained. "We toast marshmallows and tell tales of deeds done, or sometimes scary stories. We also sing songs and sometimes if the spirit moves us we bring out instruments and play music and dance."
"Why? Why in this place where you have houses full of wonders?" asked Frodo.
"Well…" Lex thought. "We don't usually do this when we're near our houses. But people – some people – have a longing to escape these cities we build for ourselves. We journey into the wilderness with nothing but what we can carry on us and we camp in the middle of nature. Like our ancestors, and much like your people, we feel the need to come together. To light fires against the darkness, to tell stories, to draw together against what to us is perceived as frightening and unknown – drawing together against the darkness," Lex toasted another marshmallow as she spoke and paused to pop it in her mouth. "Such was the way of generations before us, as I think perhaps your way is now. It is instinct when in strange places to try to draw close you whatever companions you may have as a defense against the wild."
"I would never have believed that people who live lives such as you would feel a need to journey into the wilds. Your people are somewhat of an enigma to me, Lex," mused Legolas.
"Indeed," added Aragorn. "Perhaps you have a bit of Dunedain blood in you."
"I doubt it," Lex said, but the firelight caught the glint in her eyes as she smiled, just a wee bit flattered.
"If we had such fine places as this, we should never journey far afield, right Pip?"
"Right! We would sit at home all day and watch that telly-vision and order food and become fat, lazy old hobbits!" The two laughed in unison and Lex smiled, more visibly this time.
"I've lived twenty one years like this – not long by any reckoning. But I still feel the urge to get out, to move. You'd grow tired of it someday and wish to move on as well," Much as I do now, Lex thought glumly. She poked at the fire disconsolately with her stick for a moment before standing and stretching. I shouldn't… she thought. But I will.
"Would you guys like to go out tonight? We could hit the bars, I could show you around. I don't know if you're interested, but I can't keep you all cooped up here. I feel bad."
"No offense my Lady, but I highly doubt we are prepared for such an occasion. And barring that, I feel that the people here would find us quite, well, odd," spoke Gandalf.
"It's not much different than a rowdy inn in your world. As for people finding you odd, well, they'll all be drunk. At the worst they'd think of you as an hallucination. But…" she tapped a finger on her chin, "I think it would be best if we made you a bit less conspicuous anyway," she said thoughtfully. "Who's in?"
The nine exchanged some sidelong glances at each other before each raised his hand hesitantly.
"Sweet! Everyone inside!" Lex dropped the lid on the grill and stood up to lead the way.
A/N – Woohoo. Another week, another chapter. This story keeps changing direction and feel on me, so you'll just have to bear with it. Feedback welcome, as always.