0 Okay. This chapter is REALLY weird, and also REALLY funny. But, I
WILL NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT INCLUDE SLASH!!!!!!! This story is only PG-13,
AND I DO NOT INTEND TO MAKE IT GREATER IN GRAPHICS!!!!!! This won't
involve angst, either, although all angst stories are HILLARIOUSLY funny,
when read in the right mood.
Chapter 3: The Bootylicious Harry Potter
One day, Harry decided that he didn't give a crap if he died. By this time, Ron was getting all of the attention because he was pregnant. Did anyone care about Harry? NO!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!! So, Harry decided that he would go into the Forbidden Forest, blah blah blah. When Harry was in the Forbidden Forest, he put his bag of stuff down and began to sing.
"Da da da da, da da da da da da da da da" He trilled, singing his own theme song.
Suddenly, he noticed some movement in the underbrush.
"Hey!" He called to the moving object, "I smell chicken when I'm asleep!"( That quote was courtesy of my little demonic sister, Erin, because she made me quote her) When nothing moved in the bushes, Harry continued singing Hedwig's Theme. But, about five minutes in, when you normally hear the annoying "swooshing" sound, he saw some more movement.
"Hey!" He called again "It is illegal to stuff golfers down your pants for purposes of gambling! And the square root of infinity is Bootylicious!" Then, when nothing else moved, Harry started to sing the Bootylicious song, even though he didn't know all of the words. Or any of the words, for that matter.
Hmmm hmmmmm hmmmm hmmm Bootylicious! He sang, shaking his booty.
"EWWW!!" Said something from the underbrush, "I REALLY didn't need to see that," Harry, being mad, stupid and forgetful, said "Why, you don't like my BOO-TAY??"
"NO NO NO NO!!!!!" Said the voice, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah yeah, you ugly!!!!" Harry frowned, "Yeah, I bet I'm not as ugly as you!" Then, Buckbeak appeared from the underbrush. The hippogriff had a bandana on that said 'HOTTIE'.
"Buckbeak," Harry said, startled when Buckbeak began to smoke, "I didn't know you could talk!" The hippogriff made an impatient 'neigh-ing' sound and scraped its feet on the ground.
"Yeah, yeah," Said the hippogriff lazily, now with an obvious New York accent (A/N: Crazy Snow Kitten, remember? GO NEW YORKERS!!!!) "I bumped off that hobo guy, he was ugly," Harry stood aghast. "You KILLED my Godfather?" He asked, scarcely daring to breathe. Then, he noticed that Buckbeak was attractive. VERY attractive. Too attractive to be a hippogriff.
"Are you part Veela?" Harry asked, looking at the animal. The hippogriff laughed at him, rolling around on the ground.
"Harry-" Said the hippogriff through fits of laughter, "I'm a HIPPOGRIFF!! You are probably imagining everything about me because you are high!" "I'm high?" Asked Harry quizzically "Oh, so THAT'S why I have the funny cigarette in my hand, gotcha." Then, Harry and Buckbeak made out. Somewhere towards the end of this, Buckbeak took off his mask.
"I'm really Adam Sandler!" Screamed "Buckbeak", "HAHAHA!!!!!!"
TBC
As always, I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does, and I don't own Adam Sandler, either, although I feel sorry for the person who does. And I don't own Bootylicious. But, I have to give credit for Harry's random phrases to the Under The Beltway (UTB) Improv Comedy Show. Are you laughing yet, Crazy Snow Kitten?
Chapter 3: The Bootylicious Harry Potter
One day, Harry decided that he didn't give a crap if he died. By this time, Ron was getting all of the attention because he was pregnant. Did anyone care about Harry? NO!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!! So, Harry decided that he would go into the Forbidden Forest, blah blah blah. When Harry was in the Forbidden Forest, he put his bag of stuff down and began to sing.
"Da da da da, da da da da da da da da da" He trilled, singing his own theme song.
Suddenly, he noticed some movement in the underbrush.
"Hey!" He called to the moving object, "I smell chicken when I'm asleep!"( That quote was courtesy of my little demonic sister, Erin, because she made me quote her) When nothing moved in the bushes, Harry continued singing Hedwig's Theme. But, about five minutes in, when you normally hear the annoying "swooshing" sound, he saw some more movement.
"Hey!" He called again "It is illegal to stuff golfers down your pants for purposes of gambling! And the square root of infinity is Bootylicious!" Then, when nothing else moved, Harry started to sing the Bootylicious song, even though he didn't know all of the words. Or any of the words, for that matter.
Hmmm hmmmmm hmmmm hmmm Bootylicious! He sang, shaking his booty.
"EWWW!!" Said something from the underbrush, "I REALLY didn't need to see that," Harry, being mad, stupid and forgetful, said "Why, you don't like my BOO-TAY??"
"NO NO NO NO!!!!!" Said the voice, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah yeah, you ugly!!!!" Harry frowned, "Yeah, I bet I'm not as ugly as you!" Then, Buckbeak appeared from the underbrush. The hippogriff had a bandana on that said 'HOTTIE'.
"Buckbeak," Harry said, startled when Buckbeak began to smoke, "I didn't know you could talk!" The hippogriff made an impatient 'neigh-ing' sound and scraped its feet on the ground.
"Yeah, yeah," Said the hippogriff lazily, now with an obvious New York accent (A/N: Crazy Snow Kitten, remember? GO NEW YORKERS!!!!) "I bumped off that hobo guy, he was ugly," Harry stood aghast. "You KILLED my Godfather?" He asked, scarcely daring to breathe. Then, he noticed that Buckbeak was attractive. VERY attractive. Too attractive to be a hippogriff.
"Are you part Veela?" Harry asked, looking at the animal. The hippogriff laughed at him, rolling around on the ground.
"Harry-" Said the hippogriff through fits of laughter, "I'm a HIPPOGRIFF!! You are probably imagining everything about me because you are high!" "I'm high?" Asked Harry quizzically "Oh, so THAT'S why I have the funny cigarette in my hand, gotcha." Then, Harry and Buckbeak made out. Somewhere towards the end of this, Buckbeak took off his mask.
"I'm really Adam Sandler!" Screamed "Buckbeak", "HAHAHA!!!!!!"
TBC
As always, I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does, and I don't own Adam Sandler, either, although I feel sorry for the person who does. And I don't own Bootylicious. But, I have to give credit for Harry's random phrases to the Under The Beltway (UTB) Improv Comedy Show. Are you laughing yet, Crazy Snow Kitten?