Spoilers: Jedi Apprentice #1 - #13 for now.
Disclaimer: This story is not intended to infringe upon the copyrights of George Lucas, LucasFilms, Scholastic Books, Jude Watson, or any other party affiliated with the Star Wars universe. This story is written for entertainment purposes only and not intended for profit. I don't own them, I'm just playing with them for a while...
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Touched by Darkness
by danakate (danakate@danakate.com)
Chapter 5
The Room of a Thousand Fountains was one of the most impressive areas in the Jedi Temple. The high ceiling, combined with the artificial day and night cycles, created the illusion of a vast, open space rather than the enclosed room that it was. The preferred meditation grounds for many Jedi, tranquility and peace flowed like the water there.
There were a few waterfalls within the room, one of which held the particular interest of Qui-Gon Jinn. Located deep inside, the furthest away from any entrance, it was the most isolated. It also happened to be the personal favorite of one Obi-Wan Kenobi.
The roar of falling water masked the other noises in the area. For that, Qui-Gon was grateful. His growing unease and distraction at his Padawan's absence was a source of concern for him, as it should be. He was a Jedi Master, able to handle his emotions appropriately...except now. Something deadly was stalking the Jedi, trying to introduce chaos, suspicion, and darkness into the Order. .
Somehow, some way, he had lost faith his abilities with the Force. That was not something to be taken lightly. The main source of his anxiety was, of course, losing Obi-Wan. The boy's sudden collapse a few days earlier and subsequent abduction were difficult to comprehend.
Qui-Gon knelt at the edge of the waterfall's pool for a long moment, staring at the ripples on the surface. As a ripple passed, he let his emotions go with it. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Worry.
Deep within meditation, Qui-Gon could feel the Force hovering just outside his grasp. He often imagined he could see the Force as a white, all-encompassing light. It was pure, powerful, and ultimately good. But now it was tinged with darkness.
He fought the urge to turn away. He made that mistake before and, consequently, missed the dangerous warnings ringing through the Force just before his Padawan's abduction. This time, Qui-Gon embraced the darkness with the hopes of letting it pass.
Insecurity.
Qui-Gon could almost touch the sense of insecurity as if it were a tangible object. Delving deeper into his consciousness he searched for the source. He was not surprised to discover it revolved around his apprentice.
The transition from solitary Jedi to teacher had been anything but smooth. Qui-Gon had spent several hours meditating on the subject. At first, he had rejected the boy. It was more a question on his abilities as a teacher than on Obi-Wan's skill and readiness as a student. But situations emerged that pushed them together while planting the seeds that nearly tore them apart a few years later.
The reappearance of his former Padawan, Xanatos, was one of those situations. All of Qui-Gon's past doubts and fears resurfaced, affecting the relationship he was forming with Obi-Wan. He had fooled himself into thinking that during those many years roaming the galaxy alone, he had moved beyond the thought that his perceived inadequacy as a teacher led to Xanatos's fall to the Dark Side.
Of course, he now knew Xanatos chose his own path. But he was just as able to feel guilt and blame as the next being in the galaxy. Jedi were not perfect, a fact many others forgot...and sometimes Jedi Masters, too.
Qui-Gon allowed his insecurities to flow through him, releasing them to the Force as he had been taught. Slowly, the darkness dissipated and Qui-Gon found himself surrounded by the warmth and life that was the Force.
The Force was always there, Qui-Gon knew. His ability to use its power was only limited by the boundaries of his mind and the time and effort he spent honing his skills. He had momentarily forgotten the importance of following the will of the Force, even if it led him in directions he was unwilling to travel. But only for a moment. With his new found clarity, Qui-Gon knew without a doubt that he would find Obi-Wan. For in the heart of the Force, he felt the presence of his apprentice. Although lost and far away, Qui-Gon knew it was up to him, with the guidance of the Force, to find and lead the boy back to the path they once traveled together.
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To be continued.
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Author's notes: Look! A brand new part! It only took what…almost 4 months? If you haven't noticed, this segment is more reflective and doesn't really feature Obi-Wan very much. I promise, he'll come back, soon.
Created:
2002-04-23
Revision History:
2002-04-24
©2002 Jennifer Kahng