Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone.

Summary: James and Lily are friends who love each other but as in a lot of cases they both think the other doesn't feel the same way so neither knows how the other feels. Will they ever realise they both feel the same way?

Authors note: I love Lily and James stories and I'm a total romantic at heart so I thought I'd write this one and see what you think. Thank you to everyone who reviewed it means a great deal to me to know that people are enjoying reading this story. Anyway here's the next chapter which I hope you will enjoy and it should be a little longer than usual. Also please, please can you review it once you've read it please? Hope you enjoy it.

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Lily looked around her confused as the dream world started to recede and the real world slowly came into view around her. How'd I get to the hospital wing, she thought as she looked at the inside of the curtains, which had been pulled around her bed. She started to pull herself up into a sitting position then but winced as a sudden pain tore through her heart and she lay back down again closing her eyes as a wave of sleep passed through her.

"What happened to them Albus?" She heard a voice ask.

Wow that's McGonagal Lily thought as she opened her eyes sleepily.

"I think their hearts joined and saved the pair of them," Dumbledore replied calmly.

Hearts joined and saved them Lily thought I wonder what that means she couldn't ponder this thought anymore though as she fell into a deep sleep forgetting all about what she'd just heard.

~

James wandered over to where he knew Lily was sleeping silently so as not to wake anyone else up, as he knew that Sirius and Remus were in here as well having received slight burns from the explosion. James felt dreadful about that as he knew it was his fault because he'd lost his temper and therefore his control of his magic, which he'd so carefully learned to control. If he hadn't lost his temper none of them would have been in here, it was all his fault. When Dumbledore had come to see him earlier he'd told him how the explosion had also hit Lily, Sirius and Remus who had obviously come looking for him. He said that Lily had taken the whole blast of it and then before it had touched Remus and Sirius it had disappeared leaving them with only a few slight burns on their hands from trying to pull Lily out of it.

"Oh Lily," he sighed as he looked down at her still, sleeping form.

He looked at the sleeping face of his best friend and his heart turned over. She looked so pale and lifeless against the Hospital Ward's white sheets, her pale skin looking transparent in the moonlight streaming in from the open window. How could I have done this to her, he thought taking her hand that was resting upon the sheet and rubbing it gently while continuing to stare down into her sleeping face.

"I'm so sorry," he said silently as a single tear traced it's way down his cheek.

~

"James?" Lily said opening her eyes and staring up into the face she knew so well.

His face was so filled with pain that he didn't even seem to hear her he just kept staring straight ahead while his thumb traced small circles on her hand. He looks so unhappy, she thought looking into his face at the vacant eyes. It tore her heart in two to see him this upset and unhappy. Gently she raised the hand he wasn't holding up to his face and wiped away the tear she saw glittering on his face with her thumb.

"Lily?" He whispered as he felt her hand touch his face.

She watched his vacant eyes fill with light and another expression she couldn't read and then he took a deep shuddering breath and covered her hand, which was still on his cheek, with his other hand holding onto it as if he was afraid to let it go.

"Lily, oh god Lily, I'm so sorry," he said tears slipping gently down his face while he stared imploring into her eyes, begging her to understand and forgive him.

She gently rubbed his cheek with her thumb while she entwined her fingers through his, wishing only to comfort him and take away his pain.

"It wasn't your fault James," Lily said simply.

"You don't understand Lily it was my fault and I could have killed you. You mean everything to me Lily and I could have killed you, I'll never forgive myself," he said looking into her eyes.

"No shush Lily," he said as she opened her mouth to say something "let me explain. I went after Malfoy".

"Oh James why?" Lily asked tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she looked into James heartbroken face.

"I couldn't let him hurt you anymore Lily, I wanted to protect you from him and I've done that," he said laughing dryly without any real humour in it "his fathers sending him to Durmstrang until he graduates but I've brought you an even greater danger, me".

Lily shook her head fiercely at this not wanting to believe it or even contemplate it. Tears streamed down her face as she stared into his eyes, how could he think that, she thought.

"No," she mouthed silently while thinking these thoughts "no".

"It's true Lily I am a danger to you. When your with me your in danger it was my fault you got caught in the explosion".

"No!" She said stronger refusing to believe this.

"Lily," he said beseechingly begging her to listen to him "I caused the explosion. It was my fault. I was so angry with Malfoy for hurting you I couldn't think straight, I lost the control of my powers which I'd fought so hard to master".

"No," she cried desperately her eyes pleading with him to say it was all a lie.

"Yes Lily and this is why I can't be friends with you anymore. I can't put you in danger anymore Lily please don't ask me to".

"But…but your fine now," Lily cried between sobs her heart breaking a little more with every word he said.

"Only because Dumbledore gave me a potion, which will control the explosions," he said stroking her hand gently.

Lily felt a flood of relief at these words the potion would control it, she thought. Everything would be fine.

~

James felt his own heart flood with pain as he saw the hope on her face at the mention of the potion Dumbledore had given him. He knew his next words were going to hurt her but he had to say them.

"Lily," he said gently "the potion only works once. My powers then become immune to it".

He watched the hope and relief fade from her face at his words and her face crumple as tears started to flow freely down her cheeks again. He'd give anything to be able to say it wasn't true to comfort her but he knew he couldn't he was doing this to protect her, to keep her safe.

"James please," she begged him.

"I'm sorry Lily. I don't want to hurt you but this is the only way I can keep you safe. I love you too much Lily to see you get hurt please understand Lily. The very face that I love you will get you hurt because my powers are now attached to my emotions and I have no control over them".

"But I love you," she begged desperately.

"And I you Lily and I always will," he said, "that's why I must leave you".

His heart broke at these words he'd never thought that she'd loved him but she did and now it was too late, he knew even more definitely than before now that he had to leave her because if anything happened to her he'd never forgive himself. He reached down towards her and softly kissed her gently on the lips tasting the salty taste of tears not being aware of whether they were his or hers though, savouring the taste of her and the memory of this moment as he knew it would be the only time he'd ever kiss her. Then with one last look at her tear stained face he got up and walked away from her his heart breaking more and more with every step and Lily's anguished sobs filling his ears.