Chapter 17 Broken Angel
Tsuzuki had stopped thrusting, but above him, Hijiri was moaning and going wild. Something in his heart felt…disturbing. The scream just now, he realized wasn't his imagination anymore as it rang through his ears. "Hisoka…" he whispered out loud, as the disturbing feelings got worse and worst. Tsuzuki grabbed Hijiri's arms, and rolled them to the side, pulling out of him immediately.
Confusion was written all over Hijiri's facial expression. And when Tsuzuki tried to get up, Hijiri latched himself on the brunette like a baby koala hugging its mother. Tsuzuki got more and more worried as Hijiri began nipping at his neck. "Hijiri, stop, now!" Tsuzuki pushed the boy off him and he landed on the bed. The brunette grabbed his shirt and pants, putting them on quickly. As stubborn as ever the boy grabbed Tsuzuki's hands and dragged him into bed together. He began grinding his still hard organ into Tsuzuki's groin but it didn't affect the brunette.
Tsuzuki was getting tired of this and pinned the boy's arms above his head. "Snap out of this Hijiri," he growled before climbing off the bed and reaching for the door. He was about to turn the doorknob when suddenly, "I love you, Tsuzuki," a small whisper came from the boy on the bed. 'Ignore him or turn around,' the brunette thought.
"I love you so bad that it hurts when you only set your eyes on Hisoka," the boy's voice going beyond whisper and coming out ragged because of his sobs. "Dakara… don't leave me, onegai!" Tsuzuki closed his eyes before turning towards the crying boy. Those amethyst eyes soften at the sight of his friend, sobbing, his shoulders shaking but the green depths were still staring at him.
"I'm sorry for leading you on just now Hijiri, that was cruel," Hijiri was about to cut him in but Tsuzuki quickly replied, "I love you too, Hijiri but only as a friend, I love you… like a brother, Hijiri," Tears ran down Hijiri's face, unable to hold it in, and his chest tightened. "I'm so so so sorry-" He stopped as Hijiri rushed to him, wrapping his arms around the brunette.
"Please, say that you truly love me and say that you'll stay with me," the boy sobbed into Tsuzuki's chest. "Say it, please, Tsuzuki, I want you to love me, onegai!" he pleaded. Tsuzuki softly pushed him away, wiping the tears that leaked from green eyes. "I'm sorry," was the simple whisper Tsuzuki offered before exiting the room. Hijiri fell to his knees, hugging his chest. "Tell me what did I do wrong,"
Tsuzuki ran as fast as he could towards Hisoka's room and kicked to the door open. No Hisoka. He was about to look somewhere else when he heard something from the bathroom. "'Soka-chan?" he called out. Opening the door to the bathroom softly, he gasped.
Lying on the floor, broken and bleeding was his lover. His body was messed up with writings and there were huge wings spreading from his back. His shirt were torn open and his wrist… both of them bleeding. One of his hands was still holding the razor. A broken angel, which was how he would describe Hisoka. Afraid that Tsuzuki would be too late, the brunette rushed to him, kneeling before the boy. He didn't dare to touch his wrist to search for pulse for fear of hurting him so he placed two fingers on the pulse point on his neck. And fortunately it was still there but very weak.
'Stop the bleeding, stop the bleeding,' he thought. He searched his mind for anything to do but it was blank. Tears ran down his face. He ran out of the bathroom, looking for something… anything to stop the bleeding. He finally found the first aid kit and opened it clumsily. Taking the bandage out he rushed back in.
Kneeling beside the broken angel, he carefully lifted one arm and rested it on his lap. Taking the bandage he carefully wrapped it around the wrist. He knew being careful would waste time since both of his wrists were bleeding. Hisoka started regaining consciousness, although the blood lost were terrible, he could still open his eyes, looking at the person which were trying to save his life.
Tsuzuki.
His eyes locked on the brunette, before it traveled lower to see what was he doing. He tried to snatch back his wrist but he had zero energy and he could only twitch his fingers. Tsuzuki saw the movements and Hisoka blinked as the amethyst bore through him. "Hisoka!" the brunette exclaimed. "L… leave me… alone…" Hisoka moaned softly and if he had the option to just stay quiet and let nature take it's toll, he would do just that, but he couldn't since Tsuzuki was trying to save him. And he doesn't want to be saved.
The brunette didn't leave though, instead, he kept wrapping the bleeding wrist, making the blond wince and cry out. The blonde's vision was starting to blur, and he closed his eyes, maybe he would be gone in no time. He would be living in a painless world. But before his eyelashes touch his cheeks, Tsuzuki shook him and he opened his eyes.
"Don't, please," the brunette, whispered before going onto the other wrist. The blonde's body arched as another pain surged through him. And Tsuzuki watched in horror as Hisoka's body glowed red, the curse marks pounding on the white skin. Hisoka couldn't take it, and he began crying for 'it' to stop.
Tsuzuki couldn't do anything, as the blonde began thrashing, with Tsuzuki wondering where he got the energy to do so. His wrist slipped out of Tsuzuki's hold and the wrappings began loosing. Blood slowly trickled out. Hisoka cried out again and this time, coherent words were spoken. "Muraki… stop torturing me… please… just take my life away…" he begged and Tsuzuki didn't know what to do. He wasn't even sure if Hisoka knows that someone is with him.
Tsuzuki grabbed the boy's wrist and pressed the messed up bandage on it, trying his best to stop the blood. It made the boy cry out again and Tsuzuki pulled the shaking body closer to his, hugging him to his chest. The warmth from Tsuzuki couldn't stop the pain this time though, since Muraki's curse was stronger and the boy kept begging for 'it' to stop again and again. "Let… me die… Tsu… zuki…" he pleaded to the amethyst eyed man. Tsuzuki was having none of this and he carried the weak Hisoka out of the suffocating bathroom, minding the large wings before laying Hisoka onto the soft sheets of the bed.
Hisoka tried to drift back to the land of unconsciousness, but he just couldn't. He felt like dying, but he just couldn't go. A river of tears drifted down his pale face. "Tsuzuki… let go…" a small voice spoke suddenly. It was barely a whisper and Tsuzuki thought he heard wrong. "Nani?" Hisoka somehow knew that Tsuzuki couldn't let go and that was why he just can't go to the next life. Tsuzuki's emotions were trapping him to the real world. The world filled with pain.
"Let… go…" he said again, trying to force some strength into the voice. This time, Tsuzuki was really confused. And it was then that he heard the door slamming to the wall. And there stood Hijiri, panting. And when those identical eyes set onto Hisoka, he gasped.
The blonde boy had white silvery wings coming out of his back, and red writings all over his body. And his wrist, both of them were slit, but bandages were wrapped clumsily around it to try and stop the bleeding. "Hi… Hisoka," Tsuzuki's head shot up, eyes meeting with Hijiri's. And a slow blush crept over the brunette boy's cheeks.
'This is not the time,' Tsuzuki thought. "Hijiri, call the ambulance, now!" he ordered, trying to pull the crying boy into his arms. At the word ambulance, Hisoka panicked. Ambulance could be related to many things, such as hospitals, doctors, white, silver, Muraki, pain, torture, curse, suffering, and lastly force.
"NO! Can't… don't want to…" he thrashed wildly, and Tsuzuki trying to calm him. Hijiri was still rooted on the spot. "Hijiri! Call them!" Hisoka was still thrashing weakly, his blood loss wasn't helping, but somehow his fear is winning, giving him extra strength.
"No, please… I… I don't want them… to see me… like this," he voiced out, moving his wings a little to let them understand. Those white silver wings were still there, almost matching his pale skin. Thin arms wrapped around Tsuzuki, seeking warmth as his body's temperature went down slowly. "I want… to stay here… with… with you… until the end, Tsuzuki," he whispered painfully, shutting his eyes as the curse marks came to life once again.
"What are you saying, 'soka-chan? You can't go, you can't leave me," Tsuzuki cried. "You… you just can't…" Hisoka was in a dilemma once again. He doesn't want to be killed by the curse; instead he wanted to die naturally. But, Tsuzuki… what will happen to him? His lover will be all alone. Tsuzuki will be all alone here, with Hijiri.
Hijiri! Hijiri can be here with Tsuzuki. Hijiri loves Tsuzuki so he won't be alone anymore. Tsuzuki won't be alone because Hijiri is here. Hijiri will be replacing him. And Tsuzuki will have a new lover. Someone he can truly love and make love to, without anything stopping him.
"Muraki sensei… he's… he's a doctor, maybe he can do something…" Tsuzuki's head shot up to look at Hijiri. The boy looked uncomfortable at his gaze, and he was even more restless when Tsuzuki's eyes sharpen.
"Don't you understand?! Muraki brought this upon Hisoka! And you're asking for him?" Hijiri backed away at the brunette's yells, tears welling up in his eyes. "He was raped by that psycho and all you can think about is HIM?!" He couldn't hold back his tears as he stuttered, trying to explain.
"Tsu… Tsuzuki… what I meant… was… was…-" he was cut short suddenly. "You never thought about him, have you?! All you could do was get jealous and run over to that doctor!" Hisoka began whimpering in his arms. "And when that DOCTOR tortured Hisoka, you were asking for him again?!" a low mumble joined the whimpering of the boy's. "What kind of a friend are you, Hijiri!!"
The last yell made Hisoka arch his back. Tsuzuki glanced worriedly down; one of Hisoka's hands had grabbed hold of Tsuzuki's shirt, eyes tightly shut and his other hand over his chest. "Don't fight… hurts…" was the pained whisper Hisoka let out.
Tsuzuki would have to strain his ears to hear what Hisoka was actually saying. "Your… your anger… painful," the boy said again. Confusion overwhelmed him before and Tsuzuki bowed his head. Guilty filling his heart at the same time. He was scolding Hijiri just a minute ago, bringing up something about friendship, and here he was, hurting Hisoka. But he still couldn't understand.
'How am I hurting him?' he questioned to himself as he cradled Hisoka in his arms, whispering 'Gomene' softly.
Hisoka gasped suddenly as his breath got stucked in his throat, his hands clawing violently on his neck and leaving red lines along the skin. Blood trailed from his wrist onto the white skin of his neck. Even Tsuzuki was amazed the blood flow haven't stopped.
The curse marks on his body flared and Hisoka arched, a scream of agony came from his mouth. Whimpers and softly whispered 'stop' came soon after the scream. "Tsu… I… I want to die… hurts so bad…" came another whisper that made Tsuzuki's heart squeeze.
Hisoka felt his eyes closed on it's own accord, and the boy welcomed the feeling of darkness as it overwhelmed him. He could hear the panicked yells from his lover and the slow sobs from his friend. 'It doesn't matter, I want to be free of this pain,' he thought as he felt himself tugged into a painless world.
"Love you… Tsuzuki…" he managed to whisper before the blood lost and the curse marks took his breath away, and his hand which were clawing at his throat just a second ago fell limp beside him.
A loud scream of lost could be heard as the boy sighed for the last time.
***
End of Chapter 17!
***
(A:N: *Sniff*, gomen for not writing *sniff* in a long period of time. I couldn't figure what to put in this chapter so I waited. Sorry! The story is not ended yet, so, feedbacks will be welcomed. And to those whom emailed me personally asking for this chapter, I'm sorry for taking too long!! And to those who reviewed my story, ARIGATOU!!! I need to know what you guys think, so please press the review button!!!)
Tsuzuki had stopped thrusting, but above him, Hijiri was moaning and going wild. Something in his heart felt…disturbing. The scream just now, he realized wasn't his imagination anymore as it rang through his ears. "Hisoka…" he whispered out loud, as the disturbing feelings got worse and worst. Tsuzuki grabbed Hijiri's arms, and rolled them to the side, pulling out of him immediately.
Confusion was written all over Hijiri's facial expression. And when Tsuzuki tried to get up, Hijiri latched himself on the brunette like a baby koala hugging its mother. Tsuzuki got more and more worried as Hijiri began nipping at his neck. "Hijiri, stop, now!" Tsuzuki pushed the boy off him and he landed on the bed. The brunette grabbed his shirt and pants, putting them on quickly. As stubborn as ever the boy grabbed Tsuzuki's hands and dragged him into bed together. He began grinding his still hard organ into Tsuzuki's groin but it didn't affect the brunette.
Tsuzuki was getting tired of this and pinned the boy's arms above his head. "Snap out of this Hijiri," he growled before climbing off the bed and reaching for the door. He was about to turn the doorknob when suddenly, "I love you, Tsuzuki," a small whisper came from the boy on the bed. 'Ignore him or turn around,' the brunette thought.
"I love you so bad that it hurts when you only set your eyes on Hisoka," the boy's voice going beyond whisper and coming out ragged because of his sobs. "Dakara… don't leave me, onegai!" Tsuzuki closed his eyes before turning towards the crying boy. Those amethyst eyes soften at the sight of his friend, sobbing, his shoulders shaking but the green depths were still staring at him.
"I'm sorry for leading you on just now Hijiri, that was cruel," Hijiri was about to cut him in but Tsuzuki quickly replied, "I love you too, Hijiri but only as a friend, I love you… like a brother, Hijiri," Tears ran down Hijiri's face, unable to hold it in, and his chest tightened. "I'm so so so sorry-" He stopped as Hijiri rushed to him, wrapping his arms around the brunette.
"Please, say that you truly love me and say that you'll stay with me," the boy sobbed into Tsuzuki's chest. "Say it, please, Tsuzuki, I want you to love me, onegai!" he pleaded. Tsuzuki softly pushed him away, wiping the tears that leaked from green eyes. "I'm sorry," was the simple whisper Tsuzuki offered before exiting the room. Hijiri fell to his knees, hugging his chest. "Tell me what did I do wrong,"
Tsuzuki ran as fast as he could towards Hisoka's room and kicked to the door open. No Hisoka. He was about to look somewhere else when he heard something from the bathroom. "'Soka-chan?" he called out. Opening the door to the bathroom softly, he gasped.
Lying on the floor, broken and bleeding was his lover. His body was messed up with writings and there were huge wings spreading from his back. His shirt were torn open and his wrist… both of them bleeding. One of his hands was still holding the razor. A broken angel, which was how he would describe Hisoka. Afraid that Tsuzuki would be too late, the brunette rushed to him, kneeling before the boy. He didn't dare to touch his wrist to search for pulse for fear of hurting him so he placed two fingers on the pulse point on his neck. And fortunately it was still there but very weak.
'Stop the bleeding, stop the bleeding,' he thought. He searched his mind for anything to do but it was blank. Tears ran down his face. He ran out of the bathroom, looking for something… anything to stop the bleeding. He finally found the first aid kit and opened it clumsily. Taking the bandage out he rushed back in.
Kneeling beside the broken angel, he carefully lifted one arm and rested it on his lap. Taking the bandage he carefully wrapped it around the wrist. He knew being careful would waste time since both of his wrists were bleeding. Hisoka started regaining consciousness, although the blood lost were terrible, he could still open his eyes, looking at the person which were trying to save his life.
Tsuzuki.
His eyes locked on the brunette, before it traveled lower to see what was he doing. He tried to snatch back his wrist but he had zero energy and he could only twitch his fingers. Tsuzuki saw the movements and Hisoka blinked as the amethyst bore through him. "Hisoka!" the brunette exclaimed. "L… leave me… alone…" Hisoka moaned softly and if he had the option to just stay quiet and let nature take it's toll, he would do just that, but he couldn't since Tsuzuki was trying to save him. And he doesn't want to be saved.
The brunette didn't leave though, instead, he kept wrapping the bleeding wrist, making the blond wince and cry out. The blonde's vision was starting to blur, and he closed his eyes, maybe he would be gone in no time. He would be living in a painless world. But before his eyelashes touch his cheeks, Tsuzuki shook him and he opened his eyes.
"Don't, please," the brunette, whispered before going onto the other wrist. The blonde's body arched as another pain surged through him. And Tsuzuki watched in horror as Hisoka's body glowed red, the curse marks pounding on the white skin. Hisoka couldn't take it, and he began crying for 'it' to stop.
Tsuzuki couldn't do anything, as the blonde began thrashing, with Tsuzuki wondering where he got the energy to do so. His wrist slipped out of Tsuzuki's hold and the wrappings began loosing. Blood slowly trickled out. Hisoka cried out again and this time, coherent words were spoken. "Muraki… stop torturing me… please… just take my life away…" he begged and Tsuzuki didn't know what to do. He wasn't even sure if Hisoka knows that someone is with him.
Tsuzuki grabbed the boy's wrist and pressed the messed up bandage on it, trying his best to stop the blood. It made the boy cry out again and Tsuzuki pulled the shaking body closer to his, hugging him to his chest. The warmth from Tsuzuki couldn't stop the pain this time though, since Muraki's curse was stronger and the boy kept begging for 'it' to stop again and again. "Let… me die… Tsu… zuki…" he pleaded to the amethyst eyed man. Tsuzuki was having none of this and he carried the weak Hisoka out of the suffocating bathroom, minding the large wings before laying Hisoka onto the soft sheets of the bed.
Hisoka tried to drift back to the land of unconsciousness, but he just couldn't. He felt like dying, but he just couldn't go. A river of tears drifted down his pale face. "Tsuzuki… let go…" a small voice spoke suddenly. It was barely a whisper and Tsuzuki thought he heard wrong. "Nani?" Hisoka somehow knew that Tsuzuki couldn't let go and that was why he just can't go to the next life. Tsuzuki's emotions were trapping him to the real world. The world filled with pain.
"Let… go…" he said again, trying to force some strength into the voice. This time, Tsuzuki was really confused. And it was then that he heard the door slamming to the wall. And there stood Hijiri, panting. And when those identical eyes set onto Hisoka, he gasped.
The blonde boy had white silvery wings coming out of his back, and red writings all over his body. And his wrist, both of them were slit, but bandages were wrapped clumsily around it to try and stop the bleeding. "Hi… Hisoka," Tsuzuki's head shot up, eyes meeting with Hijiri's. And a slow blush crept over the brunette boy's cheeks.
'This is not the time,' Tsuzuki thought. "Hijiri, call the ambulance, now!" he ordered, trying to pull the crying boy into his arms. At the word ambulance, Hisoka panicked. Ambulance could be related to many things, such as hospitals, doctors, white, silver, Muraki, pain, torture, curse, suffering, and lastly force.
"NO! Can't… don't want to…" he thrashed wildly, and Tsuzuki trying to calm him. Hijiri was still rooted on the spot. "Hijiri! Call them!" Hisoka was still thrashing weakly, his blood loss wasn't helping, but somehow his fear is winning, giving him extra strength.
"No, please… I… I don't want them… to see me… like this," he voiced out, moving his wings a little to let them understand. Those white silver wings were still there, almost matching his pale skin. Thin arms wrapped around Tsuzuki, seeking warmth as his body's temperature went down slowly. "I want… to stay here… with… with you… until the end, Tsuzuki," he whispered painfully, shutting his eyes as the curse marks came to life once again.
"What are you saying, 'soka-chan? You can't go, you can't leave me," Tsuzuki cried. "You… you just can't…" Hisoka was in a dilemma once again. He doesn't want to be killed by the curse; instead he wanted to die naturally. But, Tsuzuki… what will happen to him? His lover will be all alone. Tsuzuki will be all alone here, with Hijiri.
Hijiri! Hijiri can be here with Tsuzuki. Hijiri loves Tsuzuki so he won't be alone anymore. Tsuzuki won't be alone because Hijiri is here. Hijiri will be replacing him. And Tsuzuki will have a new lover. Someone he can truly love and make love to, without anything stopping him.
"Muraki sensei… he's… he's a doctor, maybe he can do something…" Tsuzuki's head shot up to look at Hijiri. The boy looked uncomfortable at his gaze, and he was even more restless when Tsuzuki's eyes sharpen.
"Don't you understand?! Muraki brought this upon Hisoka! And you're asking for him?" Hijiri backed away at the brunette's yells, tears welling up in his eyes. "He was raped by that psycho and all you can think about is HIM?!" He couldn't hold back his tears as he stuttered, trying to explain.
"Tsu… Tsuzuki… what I meant… was… was…-" he was cut short suddenly. "You never thought about him, have you?! All you could do was get jealous and run over to that doctor!" Hisoka began whimpering in his arms. "And when that DOCTOR tortured Hisoka, you were asking for him again?!" a low mumble joined the whimpering of the boy's. "What kind of a friend are you, Hijiri!!"
The last yell made Hisoka arch his back. Tsuzuki glanced worriedly down; one of Hisoka's hands had grabbed hold of Tsuzuki's shirt, eyes tightly shut and his other hand over his chest. "Don't fight… hurts…" was the pained whisper Hisoka let out.
Tsuzuki would have to strain his ears to hear what Hisoka was actually saying. "Your… your anger… painful," the boy said again. Confusion overwhelmed him before and Tsuzuki bowed his head. Guilty filling his heart at the same time. He was scolding Hijiri just a minute ago, bringing up something about friendship, and here he was, hurting Hisoka. But he still couldn't understand.
'How am I hurting him?' he questioned to himself as he cradled Hisoka in his arms, whispering 'Gomene' softly.
Hisoka gasped suddenly as his breath got stucked in his throat, his hands clawing violently on his neck and leaving red lines along the skin. Blood trailed from his wrist onto the white skin of his neck. Even Tsuzuki was amazed the blood flow haven't stopped.
The curse marks on his body flared and Hisoka arched, a scream of agony came from his mouth. Whimpers and softly whispered 'stop' came soon after the scream. "Tsu… I… I want to die… hurts so bad…" came another whisper that made Tsuzuki's heart squeeze.
Hisoka felt his eyes closed on it's own accord, and the boy welcomed the feeling of darkness as it overwhelmed him. He could hear the panicked yells from his lover and the slow sobs from his friend. 'It doesn't matter, I want to be free of this pain,' he thought as he felt himself tugged into a painless world.
"Love you… Tsuzuki…" he managed to whisper before the blood lost and the curse marks took his breath away, and his hand which were clawing at his throat just a second ago fell limp beside him.
A loud scream of lost could be heard as the boy sighed for the last time.
***
End of Chapter 17!
***
(A:N: *Sniff*, gomen for not writing *sniff* in a long period of time. I couldn't figure what to put in this chapter so I waited. Sorry! The story is not ended yet, so, feedbacks will be welcomed. And to those whom emailed me personally asking for this chapter, I'm sorry for taking too long!! And to those who reviewed my story, ARIGATOU!!! I need to know what you guys think, so please press the review button!!!)