Just Like Life Chapter 3: Assessments, an uc: undercover fanfic

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Frank stood watching the woman as she attacked the punching bag with a near pitbull-like ferocity. Her skin was slick with sweat and her black hair, short in the file photos, was hanging in long black ropes from a ponytail as the tips flicked droplets of sweat all over the place. Judging from the saturation of her clothing and hair, she had been working over the hapless bag for quite some time now.

"She always works out like that."

Frank turned to see Snow Pinkett, the physical therapist at the Academy, standing beside him. She was a throw to the Bureau - short spiky black hair shot with blue highlights, heavy eyeliner and a stud in her nose. However, she was one of the best physical therapists in the nation and some of Europe. How the Bureau landed her, Frank had never figured out. Even more to the point, why Snow had come to work for the Bureau Frank had never even tried to guess. "She works herself into a stupor?"

Snow smiled. Frank Donovan had a legendary reputation for both his killer good looks and his killer style of fieldwork. But, she'd never been one to be afraid of reputations. Deep down she felt Frank was a genuine 'Nice Guy' and a heart of gold. "Nope, more like a trance. I've gotten behind the bag when she's mauling it - She never notices if I'm there or not. Her eyes are vacant yet intensely focused. It's as if she's fighting some imaginary demon who's face she's mentally plastered on that punching bag. Eeriest damned thing I've ever seen."

"Has she ever missed her focus and taken it out on someone who interrupts her?" The kind of intensity and tunnel vision that Snow was describing in Aja was dangerous if interrupted.

"No. She's remarkably controlled. I've never seen her take a swing at another agent or one of the staff."

"What about the broken nose of one of her superiors?"

"Oh that." Snow shrugged and led Frank off to the side. "I heard about that. Amazingly enough, Aja and I have kind of formed a friendship. Tentative, yes, but she trusts me and talks to me more than anyone else. Perhaps it's because we're both outsiders after a fashion, hmm?" She winked easily and folded her arms across her stomach. "He was pushing her hard. She's used to hard work and being pushed to the limit by the job. However, this one was pushing her the wrong way."

"How so?" Frank needed to get to the root of that particular problem. He didn't need Aja Cage taking a rounder at him. Jake he could handle, even Alex to an extent, but there was something disconcerting about the possibility of having to 'handle' Agent Cage.

"Goading her. He knew she'd been tortured, but just not how. More than once he backed her up against a wall and got into her face. He said he was trying to get through to her, to break her out of that shell she'd put up and retreated into."

Frank groaned and shook his head. That was no way to reach a shell-shocked torture victim. When they're ready, they come out on their own. The trick is to know when to back off and when to be there and in their face ready to support them when they did decide to shake off the pain and the past. "He pushed too far one day, didn't he?"

"You got it Agent Donovan. He got his hand up in her face and made to grasp her throat. Before anyone could blink, she brought her knee up into his stomach, her elbow down across the back of his neck when he doubled over and then she lifted him up and finished with a right hook across his nose. He's lucky she didn't try to kill him for his efforts."

"I would have to agree with you on that point, Snow. So it was after that she was forced under psychiatric care?"

"Yes. The Director and a few others felt it would be more beneficial to find out what was going on in that mind of hers."

"They didn't succeed."

Frank and Snow looked up to see a soaking wet Aja standing in front of them, her boxing gloved hands hanging loosely at her sides as she lightly heaved for breath. Frank watched as she slid those strangely colored eyes from Snow to him, then back to Snow. Agent Cage was apparently assessing him and his conversation with Snow.

Aja's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at the tall man who'd been speaking with Snow. This had to be Agent Donovan come to give her the once over to see if she was fit for duty in his unit. "Something you'd like to ask me, Agent Donovan?"

Frank raised one eyebrow slowly. She got right to the point and she was near clairvoyant if she was reading that he was dying to ask about her own fitness for duty. "Perhaps."

"Then do kindly have the testicular fortitude to come to me and ask it. Please do not go to someone else and get second hand information."

"Aja, please. You were busy and we did not want to interrupt you."

"Snow, your intentions are good, but you suck at lying. You've interrupted me before for less than this." Aja half smiled and turned around. She walked over to the smaller sparring bag that was anchored to the floor and a steel rafter beam. Giving it a hard thwack, she proceeded to bob and weave, punching and jabbing at it as if she were training for the Golden Gloves ring. "So, ask."

Frank blinked for a second, unsure if she'd actually spoken to him or not. She didn't appear to be the cold-blooded and ruthless wild card that Monica and the personnel jacket had painted her as. In need of exorcising some demons, sure, but not a loose cannon. "I wanted to know why you are so adamantly opposed to going back into undercover fieldwork."

Aja stood up straight, catching the sparring ball easily. She looked down a moment as if trying to gauge what would be the best response. He wanted HER take on whether or not she felt she was fit to serve. Sneaky bastard… "It's not that I'm opposed to going back into undercover fieldwork, Agent Donovan." She turned around and gave him an open and honest look. "I object to being put into a position that someone else's life could ride on a decision I make. My own life is fine to gamble with. I will not gamble with another agent's life."

"Why?" It was an admirable objection, one he had on more than one occasion. However, she didn't get a say in things such as that. She had to deal with the hand given her.

Aja licked her teeth for a moment, then put her still-gloved hands on her hips. "Because of my last undercover assignment, a New York cop is dead. I had to look at his wife and daughter at the funeral and see what my mistake caused."

Frank nodded carefully. "An admirable objection Agent Cage. But you don't get to make those decisions. I've been where you are and I can honestly tell you this - it's all about how you handle what is thrown at you. Are you going to let those saddened faces haunt you for the rest of your life? Or are you going to do something about it so that no more families have to mourn for the loss of their loved ones?"

Aja bristled and stood up straight, her hands falling back to her sides. He might as well have come right out and called her a coward. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Snow inching away a few feet before she outright turned and departed Donovan and her presence.

"You object to my assessment of your statement?" Frank had to fight to keep his mouth from quirking into a grin. He could see the reaction his goad had in her. He'd veiled the jab under philosophical words, but in essence he called her an outright coward for not getting back into the line of duty and getting past her demons. Now, to see if she did something about it. He watched her carefully for any signs of a physical attack from her.

None came. Aja blinked, then looked down. "I'm no coward, Agent Donovan. But there are things you do not know or understand. I do not think I would be a good addition to your team."

"Then give me a better reason why Agent Cage." Frank stepped closer so he could put his mouth close to her ear. "Because if you cannot, then you will find yourself and your luggage on a plane to Chicago before the night is out."

Aja looked up at him. He was near enough to touch her, but he still kept an air of distance about him. For a blessed few moments she watched him, taking a silent assessment of him. A woman would have to be blind to not see how handsome he was. And a woman would have to be a complete and utter idiot to let her emotions rule when it came to dealing with him. He was cold, controlled, and authoritative. He also had an air of superiority when it came to dealing with field agents. He looked like he owned you when he peered into your eyes. For a moment she just stared open-mouthed as she looked at him. Aja could also feel the chilling darkness that had touched him. It was the same darkness that she'd lived in for the past years. She hated that darkness.

Frank watched as Aja Cage gave him a deeper scrutiny. She kept a respectable distance from him despite their nearness. She was different, there was something deeper down that was fighting to break free. He could see she would be a stellar agent if she ever managed to get herself past whatever demons were killing her slowly. Now more than before he felt he had to help her. This was her last chance to make it in the FBI and if he didn't help her, she would be out. Such a loss would be devastating to both her and the Bureau. How he knew this, he had no idea. Perhaps he could see it through the darkness that wrapped around her like a smothering blanket. He'd lived that darkness more times than he cared to count, but it was different with her. What had happened to her that broke her spirit?

After a few minutes, it was Aja who finally broke the silence. "Agent Donovan…" her voice whispered. "Can you look hell in the eye?" She raised her eyes back up to his and looked fully into the mysterious brown depths. "Can you teach me to live with the past and what's happened to me?"

"Only if you want to, Agent Cage." His voice was an equally soft whisper. Frank felt himself becoming rather fond of this agent in just the few minutes he'd spent talking with her. She reminded him of himself when he first started out. "Most of what you need to know how to do will come from your own desire to conquer your own hell. The question I have for you is this - will you ever admit to someone else what your hell is?"

Aja sucked in a soft breath as he stepped back from her. She looked plainly into his face and saw no deception. He would help her - if she helped herself. Her own question was would she be able to trust him enough with that fight? Could she ever trust him with the knowledge of what Vadim had done to her mind and body?

how do you live without playing the game,

sit on the side and expect to keep sane?

step right up and be a part of the action

come get a piece of it before it's too late

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