Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all the other characters, places, and things
don't belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling. If I owned them, I wouldn't
be writing fanfiction, now, would I?
Summery: Voldemort's dead! But, how did he die? WHAT? You're joking! Bunny slippers? Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts.
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Chapter 1 Bunny Slippers
It was a nice summer day in Privet Drive. The birds where chirping, the sun was shining and there where people in robes running around and shooting off fireworks. Well, no one said it was a normal summer day. Harry Potter sat at the kitchen table in number four, Privet Drive, eating breakfast. "Hey! You can't have that much bacon! Tell him he can't have that much bacon, Dad!" Dudley, whose bottom now took up four chairs and still sagged off the sides, poked Uncle Vernon with his fork. "What do you think you're doing, boy, trying to starve us?! Give you're bacon to Dudley!" "But-" Harry started. "Now!"
As Harry was grudgingly scraping his bacon onto Dudley's plate, he thought he heard something odd on the news, something very odd. But, the Muggles didn't know about. did they? He ignored it, he probably just heard wrong, but he heard it again a few seconds later. Voldemort was on the Muggle news. He looked up to see Voldemort being carried out of a house on a stretcher. "-this strange man was found in an inn in London. Several men in black cloaks and white masks told us the cause was he couldn't find his bunny slippers, and panicked. The strain was too much on his 68-year old heart, and he had a heart attack. What a sad day, and a sad man. Back to you, John"
Harry was starring in disbelief at the television. Voldemort had died of a heart attack over a pair of bunny slippers?! The same Voldemort that tried to steal the sorcerer's stone? The same Voldemort that enchanted that diary? The same Voldemort that nearly killed him last year in the graveyard? Harry had been so shocked that he didn't notice he was shoveling his whole plate onto Dudley's, much to Dudley's liking. "Strange people in robes are roaming in the streets today. Owls are flying everywhere in broad daylight. The last time this happened was 15 years ago. Let's go to Peter, who has been speaking with these strange people all morning. Peter" The screen paned to Peter, who was standing in the street with dozens of the robed people behind him. "Yes John. I believe this has something to do with the death of that Voldemort man, as you can hear." Peter held his microphone out to two women standing next to him. "You-Know- Who is dead!" "Rejoice! You muggles! T'is a happy day for us all-"
Harry turned around sharply and saw Uncle Vernon with the television remote in his hand. "We will not watch that rubbish!" Uncle Vernon spat. Harry glared at him then scooped up some eggs, only to realize that he had given all his food to Dudley. After breakfast, Harry did the dishes then hurried up-stairs to write to Ron and Hermione. If it were true then it surely would have been in the Daily Prophet. When he got to his room he was greeted with a tiny something barreling into his chest, knocking him over. Harry got up and caught the thing buzzing around his head. "Pigwidgeon!" The tiny gray owl had swelled up to twice his size in pride at bringing his letter. Hedwig hooted with disgust as Harry plucked the letter that was tied to Pig's foot, and the owl went zooming about the room again as Harry opened his letter eagerly.
Harry, did you hear? Dad said it was on the Muggle news. You-Know-Who is dead! And you wouldn't believe how! He had a heart attack over a pair of bunny slippers! I thought they where joking but they're not! There where pictures and everything! This is absolutely ridiculous, eh? No more You-Know-Who! No more having to worry about if your friends and family are going to be killed! This is great, eh? Hermione and I'll come pick you up to go to Diagon Alley in a week, all right? See you soon-
Ron
Harry couldn't believe it. It was true. Voldemort was dead. He could go to Hogwarts this year and not have to worry about anything but grades and girls! He could have a relatively normal life at school! But most of all, Voldemort was killed by bunny slippers! This could very well be the best day in the history of the wizarding world! Harry ran to his desk and started writing his reply immediately.
~~~~~~
I don't know if I'll continue. I just thought of this, this morning, and I thought it was too funny not to write. If I can think of a good plot then I'll continue. Like it? Hate it? Just don't care? Click the blue button!
Summery: Voldemort's dead! But, how did he die? WHAT? You're joking! Bunny slippers? Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts.
~~~~~~
Chapter 1 Bunny Slippers
It was a nice summer day in Privet Drive. The birds where chirping, the sun was shining and there where people in robes running around and shooting off fireworks. Well, no one said it was a normal summer day. Harry Potter sat at the kitchen table in number four, Privet Drive, eating breakfast. "Hey! You can't have that much bacon! Tell him he can't have that much bacon, Dad!" Dudley, whose bottom now took up four chairs and still sagged off the sides, poked Uncle Vernon with his fork. "What do you think you're doing, boy, trying to starve us?! Give you're bacon to Dudley!" "But-" Harry started. "Now!"
As Harry was grudgingly scraping his bacon onto Dudley's plate, he thought he heard something odd on the news, something very odd. But, the Muggles didn't know about. did they? He ignored it, he probably just heard wrong, but he heard it again a few seconds later. Voldemort was on the Muggle news. He looked up to see Voldemort being carried out of a house on a stretcher. "-this strange man was found in an inn in London. Several men in black cloaks and white masks told us the cause was he couldn't find his bunny slippers, and panicked. The strain was too much on his 68-year old heart, and he had a heart attack. What a sad day, and a sad man. Back to you, John"
Harry was starring in disbelief at the television. Voldemort had died of a heart attack over a pair of bunny slippers?! The same Voldemort that tried to steal the sorcerer's stone? The same Voldemort that enchanted that diary? The same Voldemort that nearly killed him last year in the graveyard? Harry had been so shocked that he didn't notice he was shoveling his whole plate onto Dudley's, much to Dudley's liking. "Strange people in robes are roaming in the streets today. Owls are flying everywhere in broad daylight. The last time this happened was 15 years ago. Let's go to Peter, who has been speaking with these strange people all morning. Peter" The screen paned to Peter, who was standing in the street with dozens of the robed people behind him. "Yes John. I believe this has something to do with the death of that Voldemort man, as you can hear." Peter held his microphone out to two women standing next to him. "You-Know- Who is dead!" "Rejoice! You muggles! T'is a happy day for us all-"
Harry turned around sharply and saw Uncle Vernon with the television remote in his hand. "We will not watch that rubbish!" Uncle Vernon spat. Harry glared at him then scooped up some eggs, only to realize that he had given all his food to Dudley. After breakfast, Harry did the dishes then hurried up-stairs to write to Ron and Hermione. If it were true then it surely would have been in the Daily Prophet. When he got to his room he was greeted with a tiny something barreling into his chest, knocking him over. Harry got up and caught the thing buzzing around his head. "Pigwidgeon!" The tiny gray owl had swelled up to twice his size in pride at bringing his letter. Hedwig hooted with disgust as Harry plucked the letter that was tied to Pig's foot, and the owl went zooming about the room again as Harry opened his letter eagerly.
Harry, did you hear? Dad said it was on the Muggle news. You-Know-Who is dead! And you wouldn't believe how! He had a heart attack over a pair of bunny slippers! I thought they where joking but they're not! There where pictures and everything! This is absolutely ridiculous, eh? No more You-Know-Who! No more having to worry about if your friends and family are going to be killed! This is great, eh? Hermione and I'll come pick you up to go to Diagon Alley in a week, all right? See you soon-
Ron
Harry couldn't believe it. It was true. Voldemort was dead. He could go to Hogwarts this year and not have to worry about anything but grades and girls! He could have a relatively normal life at school! But most of all, Voldemort was killed by bunny slippers! This could very well be the best day in the history of the wizarding world! Harry ran to his desk and started writing his reply immediately.
~~~~~~
I don't know if I'll continue. I just thought of this, this morning, and I thought it was too funny not to write. If I can think of a good plot then I'll continue. Like it? Hate it? Just don't care? Click the blue button!