The Master Chief
MasterChief@disc13.com
For copyright information, please refer to the bottom of the document.
In a world gone bad…
Duke Nukem grinned around the cigar in his mouth as he examined the cards in his hand, his eyes narrowing behind his shades as he examined the cards before him. "I'll raise you fifty," he announced as he pushed several chips over to the center of the table.
The stubble-faced man on the other end of the table grinned and pushed some of his chips over to the middle of the table. "Okay, Duke," he replied coolly as he adjusted his suit and shook his head a bit, "I'm calling your bluff."
Duke took a good, long drag off his cigar and then nodded at him slightly. "All right, Ryouji," Duke challenged firmly, "Show 'em."
Ryouji laid his five cards on the table. Two queens, two tens, and an eight. "Looks like this match is mine," he declared proudly.
Duke then laid his cards on the table and grinned triumphantly. Five aces. "You were saying?" he quipped sarcastically, a huge grin on his face as he leaned back in his chair and took his cigar out of his mouth, puffing out smoke in large 'O' shapes.
Ryouji stared blankly at Duke's cards, twitching at the sight. "Shit..." he whispered.
And another one bites the dust, Duke thought as he reached his free hand to take hold of the chips, dragging them over to the pile on his side of the table. His pile was large indeed, chips of all the colors of the rainbow crowded together messily. Ryouji's pile of chips could barely be called a pile at all; two columns of ten chips apiece, neatly stacked against one another. The sight made it rather clear which of the two was winning.
"You're good," Ryouji sighed out in exasperation.
"You ain't so bad yourself," Duke replied with a grin as he put his cigar back in his mouth and took another puff.
Ryouji just leaned back in his chair and sighed in frustration, taking his cards and laying them facedown atop the deck. He then looked back at Duke with a dry grin. "Wouldn't mind playing some poker with Misato sometime…"
"Strip poker?" Duke offered with a smirk, taking another drag off his ever-shrinking cigar.
"Maybe," Ryouji replied with a chuckle. "Though I don't know how much I'd see with my skill."
"I don't know," Duke mused aloud as he took the remains of his cigar out of his mouth and crushed the lit end into the ashtray by his chips. "She doesn't look like she's got much of a poker face. She'd likely be bareback before you know it."
Ryouji laughed mirthlessly at Duke's assurance, wryly grinning as he nodded. "Maybe…"
It was then that the unexpected happened. The room suddenly rocked violently, a loud, threatening explosion roaring in the distance as if from every direction. The piercing sound of alert sirens blaring in protest followed. Something was wrong.
"What the hell!?" Ryouji shouted as he got to his feet, heading to the door and pulling out his standard issue Glock pistol.
Duke calmly pulled a pair of Uzi submachine guns out from under the table, loading them with hundred round clips as he too rose, his relaxed demeanor immediately repressed under a mask of hard determination. "It's clobbering time," he said coldly.
Ryouji slowly opened the door and counted to three. Then both men leapt out into the hall, Ryouji facing the left of the hall as Duke faced the right, both with their weapons drawn. Strangely enough, there seemed to be nothing in the hall. The two of them lowered their weapons, but neither relaxes their grips on their firearms.
"You take the left," Ryouji said sternly. "I'll take the right."
Duke glanced over at him and nodded slightly, then ran down the right side of the hall, looking to either side of the place. Whoever it is, Duke thought, they're goin' down faster than Enron.
DUKE NUKEM
Tokyo-3 Project
An Evangelion/Duke Nukem crossover by the Master Chief.
Chapter 04: Gun Crazy Pt. 1 of 2
At this late hour of the night, NERV headquarters wasn't fully staffed. A few night owls stayed behind to keep track of the Evangelions' maintenance and to perform any experiments that could not be handled during the day, along with Commander Ikari and a security detail to watch over everyone. Meanwhile, the main body of NERV's personnel went home to dream their little dreams. After all, short of an Angel attack, what could happen so late at night?
Thus, whatever had made that loud boom earlier caught everyone by surprise. Doctor Ritsuko Akagi made her way into Central Dogma, fixing her hair and adjusting her lab coat, limping all the way as she did. Dammit, Ritsuko mused irritably. How long have been on my desk like that!? Not exactly the most dignified position I could be in. She rubbed her temple with her right hand as the door opened for her, revealing the bridge and its skeleton crew. The alarms blaring out of control weren't exactly helping her headache any.
"Dr. Akagi!" Maya shouted as she looked at her and waved in panic. "We've got a problem!"
"Report," Ritsuko replied, trying to steady her voice as much as possible, though finding it somewhat difficult with her head throbbing out of control.
"We're being attacked..." Maya began, her voice sounding urgent as she hit several keys on her keyboard, grunting in frustration.
"Where are they coming from?" Ritsuko demanded.
"I can't tell!" Maya shouted, banging on the keyboard in frustration, gritting her teeth. "The sensors aren't working!"
Ritsuko blinked and shook her head, taking the vacant terminal next to her assistant. "Dammit, this can't be happening!" She started keying wildly on the terminal in front of her, trying to make sense of what was happening. "This feedback is a mess... Jamming?"
"No doubt about it," Maya replied, grunting in agitation as she keyed furiously. "Chaff...? No, something else..."
Damn, Ritsuko thought, We're not going to be able to provide any help for the guards... Ritsuko sighed as she leaned back and bit her lip, glaring angrily at the screen before her. I hate feeling so damned helpless... She jumped out of her seat and made her way over to one of the large Magi.
"Raise them up," Ritsuko ordered Maya. "I'm gonna see what I can do."
"Okay, Doctor," Maya complied quickly, making the Magi supercomputer rise up from the ground, revealing the passage into it.
Ritsuko crawled inside, her eyes hard and narrow with determination. I have to do something... She thought as she went into the wiry network inside the Magi Caspar. Come on, Mother, now's not the time to be a bitch...
Misato Katsuragi threw her cell phone to the ground angrily as she peeked out from behind the desk she'd turned over, taking three shots at one of the three clones of her that she was fighting before ducking back down. She was greeted by a barrage of machine gun fire, chunks of the concrete pillars around her being blown off and hitting her back.
God damn it! Misato screamed inwardly as she gasped. What the hell is going on?
Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty. She had stayed in the complex to ease Asuka's suspicions regarding her confinement. However, as she finished her workload and prepared to meet Asuka in her quarters, the whole place shook, and the sound of gunfire exploded all around her. And now, she was behind her toppled desk, exchanging fire with three... things... that looked and dressed just like her. It was freaking her out to say the least.
She rose again and pointed at the head of one of the Misatos whose head was sticking out slightly from the easternmost pillar of the office, taking a quick shot. Luckily, the bullet hit its target, drilling into the back of the imposter's head, sparks flying from the wound as the creature started convulsing and fell on her back to the floor.
"Yes!" Misato shouted as she ducked back behind the desk, dodging a hail of bullets from the other two clones. So they're robots, are they? Misato thought with a mirthless grin as she ejected the spent clip from her pistol and reached into her jacket for a new one. She loaded up and then rose out of cover for another shot, but stopped and looked on in shock as the one she'd shot got up from the floor, the back of her head still sparking with electricity. "They just don't quit, do they?" Desperate, she shot the robot three times in the chest, ducking under the desk again to dodge all three bouts of machine gun fire.
The once thick wooden desk wasn't taking the abuse well at all, and that last volley caused chunks of wood to break off from the sides, exposing just a bit of Misato's shoulder. The Major gritted her teeth and growled in disgust. Fuck! She swore at herself as she looked around, finding nothing nearby that she could get to before being reduced to ground beef under the suppression fire of her attackers. She sighed softly and bit her lip angrily. Looks like it's all over... She then leapt to her feet and started firing blindly, screaming as she plugged the wounded robot full of lead. She didn't even make the thing flinch this time. Desperate, she reached in for another clip, not even bothering to duck back into cover as the other two mechanical Misatos came into view and stood at either side of the wounded one, all three of them now aiming at her head, ready to blow it to nothingness.
Just as she thought she was about to die, she heard the sound of something metallic clattering on the floor. She looked down at the source of the sound and noticed a small cylinder of shining metal between the legs of the center robot. What the... Misato wondered as she looked at the pipe. She never got to finish the thought, as the cylinder exploded in a tight, yet powerful blast, instantly tearing all three of the robotic women to pieces as the explosion ripped through their bodies. When it was over, the room was cloudy with smoke, and Misato was patting the soot from her jacket while coughing furiously. Jeez... She thought as she tried in vain to clean herself. I'm happy for the rescue, but this dirt sucks...
"They're beautiful when they're dying," the voice of Duke Nukem noted, a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he walked through the smoke and looked at her, looking as he had when she'd first met her. She noticed the large black backpack strapped to his back, looking about as large as his chest, though he seemed to be able to lug it around with no trouble.
Misato smiled softly at him, running a hand through her hair as she let out a relieved sigh. "Yeah," she replied. She then looked up into his eyes, her grin widening. "You don't know how glad I am to see you! I thought I was a goner!"
"Well," Duke began as he looked a bit lower than Misato's eyes. "I know this classy place where you put quarters into the bed and..."
Misato's mood instantly soured as she heard his words, and she swung an open hand at Duke's cheek, only to have him catch her wrist just inches before impact. "God, what is wrong with you!?" she shouted. "Don't you ever think of anything else!?"
Duke shook his head and grinned slyly as he moved her hand down, bringing it ever close to the area between his legs. "I like the hard to get ones," he said. "When I get them, they bounce like Mexican jumping beans on my-"
"That's quite enough!" Misato jerked her hand away violently, glaring at Duke angrily as she did. "There are more important things than getting into my pants, I think!" She then looked around at the shredded remains of the machines that had been destroyed. "Though that's one pretty mean trick…"
"Pipe bomb," Duke explained. "Nothing like a little gas, some gunpowder and a detonator to bring the house down."
Misato shrugged and nodded her head. "Creative, aren't we?"
"That blonde can tell you all about how creative I can get," Duke replied with a sly grin.
Misato blinked and stared at him in confusion, trying to figure out what he meant. "Ritsuko…?"
"Anyway, we got problems," Duke cut in as he drew two Uzi sub machine guns from the holsters at his sides. "Looks like Morphix is getting impatient."
Misato looked at the head of one of the robots as realization hit her, the image of that fake all over Shinji. Morphix? She pondered. What the hell happened to forty-eight hours!? Aloud, she said "You think they're after the Evas?"
"Morphix doesn't beat around the bush, I know that much," Duke confirmed. He then looked down a bit, a wily grin on his face. "On the other hand, I've been known to…"
"Will you stop it?" Misato asked angrily as she stalked past him. "We need to get to the Evas, and you're not my type anyway."
Duke grinned and turned around, catching up to Misato as she exited the room through the blown-out doorway. "I say we get to the Cages right away," he advised. "If that's their objective, the rest is just foreplay."
"What do you know about foreplay anyway?!" Misato shot back as she broke off into a dash, Duke staying hot on her trail as she ran down the hall. I just hope we can get there before these things do… she thought worriedly. Then we can save Shinji… Hopefully…
Ryouji Kaji ran down the dark hallway, a look of disgust on his face as he looked around him. The bloodied bodies of security guards were tossed about haphazardly, some torn in half or even worse, the blood running from the walls gruesomely. In his hands he held one an AK-47, lifted from one of the dead bodies, the handle still slick from the blood of the previous owner. This is a fucking slaughter! He thought as he pursed his lip and shook his head angrily. I just hope I don't end up like this…
He heard gunfire around the corner and flattened himself against the wall leading into the turn, then peeked his head out just enough to look into the adjacent hall. What he saw horrified him: a group of six NERV security guards in a firefight, their armor-piercing shells barely even fazing a group of six women who looked like exact clones of Misato Katsuragi, from their dress and jacket to the purple hair flowing to their shoulders. The women were doing were doing much better, firing without regard for cover with Uzi submachine guns - one in each hand for each of the women - their bullets tearing through the vests and flesh of the helpless guards, who were mowed down like wheat in seconds before Ryouji's eyes.
Damn, Ryouji thought as he sat there, staring in horrified wonder at the one-sided conflict. This is just ugly… He cocked his assault rifle and jumped out of cover, firing a salvo of bullets at the six Misatos. The bullets bounced off their clothing harmlessly and scraped the sides of their arms, resulting in small sparks. Androids!? He wondered as he ducked back into cover, hearing the footsteps of the attackers as they ran down the hall in pursuit. Ryouji slowly backed away, but his foot caught against something and fell on his ass to the floor. He looked ahead, trying to find what he'd tripped over, and smiled at the sight. A rocket propelled grenade launcher lay on the ground, an RPG already loaded up. Great! He exclaimed inwardly as he scrambled for the launcher. He tossed his rifle and picked up the heavy weapon just as three of the six androids rounded the corner and looked down at him, all of them aiming their weapons at him. Ryouji growled as he positioned the RPG launcher on his right shoulder, his right hand on the trigger as his left held the barrel steady.
"As pretty as you all are," he quipped, his tone laced with humor despite his situation, "only the real thing will suffice."
With that, he pulled the trigger and said a prayer. The rocket flew at its target, its course straight and true as it slammed into the middle android. The explosion was loud and bright, engulfing the three in a hellish fire, reducing them to pieces that flew out in all directions.
Ryouji slowly rose to his feet and looked for more ammunition. Sure enough, a large satchel full of RPG rounds lay near where he'd found the weapon. He picked up the satchel and slung its strap over his left shoulder, standing his ground for the next three. He heard the footsteps of more than three people ahead though.
"Reinforcements," he spat as he ran into the corner, loading another RPG into his launcher as he prepared to stand against whoever was in the way. This is going to be a long night… he thought with a wry grin, preparing internally for the very worst.
Duke Nukem and Misato Katsuragi reached the door leading to the Eva cages, which had been sealed off by a large metallic shutter. Misato huffed angrily as Duke took a step closer to the door, taking a good look at the shutter.
"Damn!" Misato shouted as she looked around, cocking the shotgun she'd found along the way as she searched for any more enemies.
"We should be able to get through this," Duke said calmly as he reached into his backpack and started digging in. "I think I have something that'll do the trick…"
Misato turned around and grinned dryly at him, resting the shotgun barrel on her shoulder as she did. "Oh you do, do you?" she asked sharply. "That's reinforced titanium armor blocking us! I don't think your little pipe bombs are going to do the trick!"
"No…" As he spoke, Duke pulled what looked like a huge hulk of wires, with a timer and two large cylinders of some grayish material. "But this will."
"What the hell..?" Misato asked incredulously as she looked at the device. "Plastic explosives?"
Duke nodded and grinned a sadistic grin. "Oh yeah. This little guy can blow through three inches of titanium easily." He then pressed a button on the timer, which came to life and showed that it had ten seconds. Duke got up and ran back several yards, Misato taking the hint and running after him, covering her ears as best she could. Within seconds, the shutter was engulfed in a huge wall of explosive fury as the bomb went off, a deafening boom echoing throughout the hallway.
"Damn...!" Misato muttered in shock and awe as the smoke cleared. The barrier had a gaping hole, just big enough for the two of them to walk through. Taking the lead, Misato walked ahead and through the portal, with Duke following close behind her. She looked around the area, which was surprisingly undamaged. The railings were undamaged and the Evas looked as though they hadn't been touched at all. Shinji stood in front of Unit One dressed in his plug suit.
Wait a second, Misato thought as she looked again. She was surprised to see the kidnapped pilot of Unit One just standing there, a smile on his face. Something's wrong here... She cleared her throat and approached Shinji slowly, then called out to him.
When he didn't respond, she tried again. "Shinji..." she said softly. "I've been worried about you...!" Still no response.
This time, Duke was the one who spoke up. "Listen here, you little shit!" he demanded. "I don't know what you're here for, but you'd better speak up before I kick your scrawny ass!"
Shinji turned to face the two, giving them a good look at his glowing red eyes. "Well, well, well..." Shinji began, his voice dripping with confidence. "I expected Father would put his precious toys before the other two children. Looks like I was right."
Misato growled at the boy and aimed her shotgun at him, pumping the barrel as her eyes narrowed. "You're not Shinji, are you...?"
Shinji shook his head. "Oh, I'm Shinji, all right..." With that, he suddenly opened his palm in front of him. An electric bolt sprung forth from his hand, striking Misato in the gut. Dropping the shotgun, she convulsed wildly as she fell to the ground, clutching her stomach as best she could with her trembling hands.
Duke wasted no time in leaping out in front of the wounded Misato, pulling out his machine guns as he stared Shinji down. "This'll hurt you more than it hurts me," he assured mockingly as he opened fire, the sounds of the guns' continuous discharge echoing throughout the area. However, the bullets had no effect. Instead, they bounced harmlessly away from him, as though hitting some sort of barrier. The bullets, having lost their velocity, fell to the ground, clattering softly as they hit the metal runway.
"You don't get it, do you?" Shinji asked, beaming smugly as he outstretched his arms to either side of himself. Suddenly, he slowly rose off the runway, his body suspended just over two feet above ground. "There's no way you can stop me! I will bring Evangelion Unit One to Master Morphix, and not even the mighty Duke Nukem can stand before me!"
Misato struggled to her feet, her hands holding the support bar on the left of the runway to keep from falling. "Shinji..." her voice was weak and shaky as she struggled to speak, tears flowing from her eyes as her body ached in agonizing pain. "... Why?"
"Why?" Shinji returned, his attention now focused on Misato as his eyes narrowed in anger. "Maybe I thought that if I was going to spend the rest of my life being used, I should at least be rewarded for it!" As he spoke, his voice deepened into a hateful growl, his red eyes glowing hotly, his lips pursed into a flat line. "Better to knowingly serve Master Morphix and live well than to be manipulated by my Father and his cronies until he sees fit to throw me away like last week's garbage again!"
The loud bang of a shotgun disrupted Shinji's speech, and the air just in front of him exploded and smoldered in an orange cloud that died as quickly as it was born. "What am I?" Duke growled as he held the shotgun Misato had dropped. "A fly on the wall!?"
"Perhaps you want some too?" Shinji remarked at the muscle-bound Caucasian man before lowering his hand and releasing another bolt of electricity. Duke leapt backward at just the right time, missing the blast by inches as the runway below him burned and charred to a thick black.
"You'll have to do better than that," Duke said sardonically as he tossed the shotgun over to Misato. "Cover me."
Misato nodded and went down on a knee, her aim steadied on Shinji as she struggled to shrug off the pain. With that done, Duke stepped back up to where he had been, the charred metal under his feet creaking loudly as it struggled to support the massive weight above it.
"You think you can stop me?" Shinji asked with a huge grin, licking his lips in anticipation. "You really are an egotistical little bastard..."
"I'm not gonna fight you..." Duke began as he dug into his backpack, a grin on his face. "... I'm gonna kick your ass!" With that, Duke suddenly tossed something at Shinji; a long, red stick with a lit fuse on one end. The dynamite exploded in front of the Third Child, who stood there, unaffected from the blast, comfortable behind his shield.
The dynamite did little to help his vision, his thermal readings blurred by the massive heat. "Damn, where is he...?" Shinji whispered to himself. It was then that the smoke cleared just as Duke leapt up at him, a pair of Magnum pistols in his hands. The bullets shook the shielding with their thunderous impact. "What the...!?" Shinji had little time to react as Duke reached him and fired one last pair of shots at point blank range. His shield was flickering on and off now, the electric field that had been protecting him becoming visible for a second before fading and coming back on.
"Fire!" Duke shouted at Misato as he landed back on the runway. Misato aimed at Shinji and cocked her shotgun before firing, the recoil sending her reeling back as the explosive shells blasted against Shinji's shield, which finally faded completely.
"My... My shield!" Shinji shouted in disbelief as his protection refused to come back up. Duke fired two more Magnum slugs at the Third Child, the bullets digging into his gut and causing sparks and blood to come out. Reeling in pain, Shinji couldn't keep himself in the air and fell onto the runway. He struggled to turn toward Duke, but lost his balance and fell over the support railing, sinking quickly into the LCL pool as Misato looked on in horror.
Duke wasted no time in shrugging off his backpack, leaping into the LCL. Fish n' chicks, Duke thought. My favorite...
Asuka Langley Sohryu wasn't having a good night at all. The quarters she had shared with Rei Ayanami had been invaded by what looked to her like no less than fifty clones of Misato, and now the two children were running for their lives from the enraged, machine gun toting Majors. What the hell's going on!? Asuka thought in panic as she fled, Rei running in pace at her right side.
"We seem to be the next targets for abduction," Rei calmly stated as she ran.
"You don't say?" Asuka shot back sarcastically. "I'd never have been able to figure that out on my own!"
The two of them turned left and continued running, looking around the hallways as they did. They caught sight of security guards here and there, getting picked off like targets as they stood against more Misato clones. Bodies littered the halls also, along with discarded weapons that looked far too heavy for either of the two to handle.
An explosion in the distance in front of them caught Asuka's attention. "You don't think...?"
"I believe we are cornered," Rei deducted. "That is surely more security personnel engaged with the enemy."
"Great..." Asuka sighed as she skidded to a stop, looking around the piles of bodies as she did. "Look for a weapon, Rei."
Rei stopped running and did just that, getting on her knees in front of a dead guard and grabbing an assault rifle. "AKs-74u... A little large, but it should be sufficient..."
Asuka grabbed a Mac-10 submachine gun from one of the bodies and flashed it at Rei. "What do you think?" She asked triumphantly.
Rei looked over at Asuka for a moment while searching for extra clips from the soldier's body. "My gun's bigger than yours," she replied flatly as she grabbed several clips and laid them out on the floor in front of her before facing toward the direction they'd been running to, kneeling and steadying her aim.
"Bitch," Asuka muttered angrily as she searched several bodies, finally getting enough extra ammunition clips to make a decent fight of it, then turned to face the direction they'd run from, getting on one knee and spreading the clips out in front of her as Rei had. At once, each of the Children saw one the Majors heading their way from each end of the hall, weapons at the ready.
"Ready yourself, Pilot Sohryu," Rei whispered as she gritted her teeth and tightened her finger around the trigger.
"This is it, isn't it..." Asuka replied as she did the same.
Then the hallway was filled with the sound of gunfire.
End Chapter 04
Neon Genesis Evangelion © Gainax/TV Tokyo
Duke Nukem © 3D Realms/Apogee Software
Sorry about the cliffhanger ending for the chapter, but I wanted to leave a little bit over for five. Gimmie a break, it was getting to be 12 pages. Anyway, comments are to be directed to MasterChief@disc13.com as always. Sorry about the time it took to type this up, but the action scenes are an unbelievable bitch to write. Making an action game like Duke Nukem must be hell. Anyway, I'll try to be a bit faster about 05, but please be forgiving if it's a bit slow in coming as well. I want to put in some more action there, finish up the fight between Duke and Shinji among other things. I also want to devote some time to some smaller things. Anyway, I hope the quality of this chapter makes up for the time it took in getting out. I'm not Psaiayn, so don't expect me to rush these things.
Those of you who are curious about the explosive shotgun shells should pick up Duke Nukem 64 for the Nintendo 64. While most of the sexual innuendo is toned down, the game certainly provides plenty of new aspects to make up for it (improved level design and special ammo for some of the weapons among other things), in addition to having better voicework by John St. John and being the only split screen Duke in town. The double Uzis the Misato FemMechs use is also a nod to DN64 – they replace the Chaingun Cannon.
A small note before I leave to those reading this on the fanfiction.net archive. This file is made using Microsoft Word 2002, then saved as a web page. For some reason, Fanfiction.net adds even more blank spaces than I want (There should be one blank line between paragraphs, not two). As far as I know, there is no remedy, and I apologize for any problems this may cause.
Lastly, look for my other fic, Coats, which should also be coming up at the same time as this fan fiction piece. See ya'll later!
Always bet on Duke.
Chapter 05, coming when it's done.