JadeGoddess: You must like Haldir! *laughs* I will tell you this, Ithil won't always be the March warden, it just serves my purpose for now! Please bear with me and thank you so much for reading!
The Waitress: Isn't he hot??? I adore Glorfindel! He's my absolute favorite along with the twins! Thanks for sticking with it and reviewing!
Angaloth: I hurry! I'm amazed I've gotten this much done! Keep encouraging me though for I get discouraged easily… *sighs* Thanks!
Nikki: Here's more! Hopefully I'll get more done soon. O.o
Tara: As bratty as he is Haldir is hard not to love! At least in my account. Though I love the movie version, I much prefer the book Haldir more. And so you know, I'm thrilled you found this fic as well!
Jessica: Then I thank your random click! I'm glad to know you appreciate my research. *smiles* I have gone to great lengths to read The Silmarillion and make this as close to fact as possible. Granted something's had to be changed. Thanks so much for reading it!
AngelQueen: A review for each chapter! I feel so honored! And yes, I adore the idea of her with Elrond, but I'm a stickler for marriage vows so I probably won't progress their relationship very far. As for pairing her with Haldir, I won't tell you what I plan to do, but I do plan on refining our arrogant elf. And I do adore him. Besides, he was nice in the book! Don't you agree? Thanks so much for reviewing and reading!
Tears of the Moon Chapter Four: Ind lost[The Third Age, solar year 241 – The valley of Imladris known in the common tongue as Rivendell]
"No one asked you to come along in the first place!" Ithil grounded out her words as her fists remained tightly clenched at her sides. Icy eyes did all in their power to break down the haughty arrogant elf before her, but to no avail.
"I beg to differ HIRIL NIN!" The emphasis he used caused her to frown all the more as the pale silver blonde returned her glare in equal portion. "Your father insisted that I tag along! It was of no choice of my own to follow some stupid female!"
It took everything the daughter of Galadriel had not to punch the fair elf before her. It wouldn't look right for her to be showing such anger to one of her own, especially one so close to her family. "So help me Haldir…!"
There was more she wanted to say, scream rather, but a gentle had came to rest on her shoulder accompanied by a concerned gaze of gray-blue eyes. "Is everything all right Ithil?"
Ithil barely suppressed a groan as she looked away from him quickly. Just whom she wanted to see… "Everything's just fine Elrond. Now if you'll both excuse me." Sending one last glare in Haldir's direction, the lady then shoved past them storming out of sight.
When she was sure neither of life's greatest aggravations were no longer within ear or eyeshot, she then collapsed onto the nearest chair she could find in the elaborate halls of Imladris. Dropping her head heavily into her hands she quite nearly bit her lip in an attempt not to scream. The last thing she wanted was to deal with Haldir in his chauvinistic mannerism, and the last thing she needed was the concern of her sister's husband whom she still loved. It was then she began to tremble uncontrollably as the last century suddenly began to sink in.
One hundred and ten years she'd put up with Haldir as one of the guardian's of Lorien. And in all that time, he showed little or no respect to her always questioning her authority. It was the first time she couldn't hide herself in her work and it held little delight for her. Yet, at the same time it had been her own fault that she'd assigned Haldir as second in command. What had gotten into her? Did she just wish to be plagued by grief?
Frowning grimly, she finally pinned it on her Noldor blood and finally sat back in the chair. With a soft thud her silver crowned head fell against the wall behind her as she sighed. If nothing else, being angry with the starlight blonde had kept her mind off of Elrond. But was that a good thing? Once again she had avoided Imladris, and only now returned to be there on the arrival of Celebrian's youngest child. Just the day they'd arrived, Arwen had been born. Her first niece, and she had a feeling it was her last.
Just like her brothers, Arwen looked devastatingly like her father, and she could tell that it hurt Celebrian to realize that they looked nothing like her. Giving a soft sigh, she felt her eyes close once again. Since her arrival she'd been only with her sister. It was thus the reason for the argument with Haldir just a moment before. He'd accused her of shirking her duty and responsibility. What right had he? Family came before expected mannerism.
Growling under her breath, she didn't even feel the gentle hand that lighted one of her own. "Aunt Ithil…"
Looking up sharply in surprise, she reflexively yanked the poor unsuspecting elf to the ground and pinned him there. Feeling the guilt well up in her, she suddenly realized to whom the frightened eyes of silver-gray belonged. "Forgive me Elrohir…"
Moving to let him up, Ithil offered a hand, which he gladly took. Upon regaining his footing, the younger twin then rubbed the back of his head wincing slightly. "I'm sorry I startled you Aunt Ithil…"
A look of apology filled her eyes as she instinctively reached a hand out to caress the back of his head. Sighing softly at the slight bump she found, she then shook her head while allowing the hand to lightly slip through his ebony tresses. "I really should keep my mind focused. I'm really sorry Elrohir." Removing her hand from his head, she didn't even catch the fact that he'd finally decided to breathe. "I wasn't in the present."
Giving his mother's sister a sad look, he then dropped his cloudy eyes to the floor and remained silent. Ithil suddenly stopped as she tried to catch his eyes only to find him reluctant. "Is something wrong pen-lend?" Ithil stepped closer lighting a hand gently on his shoulder.
"Ada… He's with nana and Arwen… And Elladan went hunting with Erestor and Glorfindel…" But the middle child stopped there.
"Oh Elrohir…" Giving the young elf an understanding look, Ithil didn't hesitate to pull him into her arms hugging him tightly. "You can stay with me, all right? Fend off my evil underlings?" Smiling against his neck, she felt him chuckle softly in return. Closing her eyes for a short moment, she then slipped an arm through his and turned to stand at his side. It was amazing how much taller he'd gotten in the long decade they'd been apart.
Celebrian always visited Lorien at least every other year, and without fail, Elrohir always came along when Elrond would permit. It was obvious to Ithil that he was rather fond of her, even more so than Elladan whom clung more so to his mother. It didn't bother her, for Elrohir had become something of extreme importance in her life. Even though he was a spitting image of his father. "Is Haldir getting on your nerves again?"
Walking slowly then down the long corridor, Ithil managed to lightly nod her head. "When does he not? I'd really like to know."
Exasperation clearly colored her tone, and it made Elrohir smile slightly. "He may have a crush on you Aunt Ithil."
Pure shock entered her eyes as she stopped in her tracks and nearly gawked up at her nephew. "That's pure ludicrous! That stone pillar of an elf has a heart of ice I'm beginning to think!"
Elrohir only smiled softly as he shyly met her eyes, while speaking in a low embarrassed voice. "He's not good enough for you."
"Sweet Elrohir…" Ithil gazed up into his gray eyes lovingly while idly reaching out to tug on an ebony strand.
"I'm glad you came…"
"I know that tone pen-lend. Now tell me, what grieves your precious heart?"
Dropping his head slowly, the dark hair then fanned out around his face hiding the sad expression from Ithil. It was obvious to her that he felt left out, but she knew he needed to get it out. "It's just… With Arwen being born, ada and nana have no time for me… And Elladan is a big hit with everyone and they all expect me to be just like him. Even Glorfindel didn't…"
As the young elf cut off, Ithil caught the undertone of adoration for the simple name of Glorfindel. Smiling softly, she then pulled him into her arms again and turned her head to whisper in his ear. "You are you pen-tithen. I want you no other way. And don't tell your brother or sister but you're certainly my favorite."
It was then that she felt him smile against her cheek. "Hannon lle hiril nin."
"Lady Ithil." The flat monotone caused Ithil to pull away from Elrohir only to find the cold gaze of midnight staring at her coldly.
"Can't it wait Haldir?" Instantly she recoiled from the platinum blonde and fought the urge to hiss through her teeth. There was just something about him that made her feel so strongly. She could either hate him, or… But she didn't want to think about that.
"No. It can not." Stating this simply, he then allowed his eyes to drift over to Elrohir that seemed to be frowning at him deeply. Giving a slight nod in acknowledgement to the young prince, Haldir showed no further interest.
Grumbling a bit, the lady of Lorien finally turned to face her fellow guardian fully with a stern look on her elven fair face. "Very well, but Elrohir is to come along with us."
"Ah, so you're the younger one." Haldir merely half smiled at this before shrugging his shoulders. "As long as you no longer shirk your duties I will not argue."
Instantly her hands became fists and she took a quick step forward putting them less than a foot away from each other. "I do not shirk my duties Haldir. Are you questioning my authority?"
The silver haired elf merely smiled at this in a haughty manner without saying a word. "Have you no respect Haldir?" Both looked up as the soft voice met their ears only to find a look of dismay on Elrohir's face. "Why are you so cold to her?"
The smile fell from his face quickly as Haldir dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment. Looking back up, the stoic expression there let neither the young prince nor his aunt know what was going on in his mind. "I meant no disrespect."
Furrowing her brow at this, Ithil couldn't stop herself from reaching out and gently brushing the back of one hand over Haldir's forehead. "No… You're not feverish." Haldir's breath caught at the touch, and he quickly stepped back a wild look flashing briefly through his deep blue eyes. "Haldir?" Ithil blinked at his sudden action and pulled her hand back to her chest. "I'm sorry."
Eyeing her a long moment, the platinum blonde suddenly bowed and turned to leave calling back over his shoulder. "Our talk can wait." Watching him vanish from view, both Ithil and Elrohir gaped.
Shaking her head slowly, she then turned to Elrohir with a breath-taking smile. "Well, that was strange. How about you and I going out to find your wayward twin? We can hunt them and see if they notice!"
Like a candle suddenly flaring to life, the middle child nodded his head enthusiastically before taking his aunt's hand and dragging her in the direction of the stables. Eagerly he spoke of things he'd done with Erestor, Elladan and Glorfindel in an endless bout of chatter. It was then she once more heard the sound of longing in the young elf's voice as he mentioned his blonde tutor. Frowning slightly at this, she allowed her self to slip into thought while half listening to her nephew. She'd always known he had a childish crush on her, but this awe he showed toward Glorfindel had seemed to grow with each visit he made to Lorien. Shaking her head slowly, she looked up to the sky and sent up a silent prayer. Do not let my suspicion be correct… By the Valar and sweet Illúvatar… Do not let my sweet Elrohir be hurt.
~*~
A smile was present on his soft ivory features as long wayward strands of ebony were shoved aside with irritation. To Ithil, the picture was absolutely adorable and highlighted just how handsome he had become. Shaking her head slowly, she sent a river of silvery hair over one shoulder before refocusing on the task at hand. After much debate, Elrohir had talked her into letting him scare his elder twin, though she knew he still lacked the skill. A hunter, he was to be sure, but not nearly as talented as she or the Lord Glorfindel. She was absolutely sure the young elf would be caught.
Trailing slowly behind the young Peredhil, Ithil fell deep into thought and soon became unaware of everything that surrounded her. That in itself was not a bright idea, but what worsened it was the thoughts that devoured her conscience. The thought was of Elrond. The memory was of seeing him standing there staring love struck at his new born daughter. He'd been so beautiful in that moment that she had to force herself to look away and not cry. Now it hurt to even look at Elrohir, because all she saw was his father. By the Valar this was unfair!
But even still, they must have had pity on her and taken advantage of her carelessness for something unexpected happened knocking her cleanly from her dark thoughts. It wasn't until something collided into her knocking her into the ground that she realized that someone had been following them in turn. Crying out in surprise, the silver haired elf fell with little or no grace to the forest floor. So much for being quiet, for she was sure all with in a ten-mile radius had heard her cry.
Looking about wildly, three facts hit her hard. One, Elrohir was standing before her his mouth gaping trying hard not to laugh. Two, Glorfindel, Erestor, and Elladan were running at full speed in their direction having heard her cry. And finally, she saw the silver head of a young elf staring at her with wide eyes dancing with playfulness. "HA! Do you have any idea I trailed behind you two waiting for you to let your guard down Ithil???"
Opening her mouth a few times in order to speak, the female elf finally sighed and shook her head. The tall lanky elf looming above her had sufficiently pinned her to the forest floor a hand holding down each of her wrists. "Have you now Orophin? Are you sure you are related to Haldir?" At her question she arched a brow before finally allowing a smile to touch her lips.
A brilliant smile touched the young elf's face as he bobbed his head in affirmation the glint in his eyes growing to a flicker of mischief. "Aye I am hiril nin! But I think I was the one who received all of the personality." The two smiled at one another a long moment forgetting the others still present.
"Very nice then Orophin… now, please remove yourself pen-tithen." It was out of habit that she called him that, and just the same he frowned at hearing the old nickname.
"I'm not little." Pouting a bit to punctuate the statement, the tall elf then clambered to his feet before helping her also to do the same.
"Aye, I fear he's far bigger than you now hiril nin." Looking up sharply, Ithil found the amused eyes of sapphire focused on her.
"That may be Lord Glorfindel, but I have a great many years on him!" Ithil stated defiantly before poking the golden elf in the shoulder hard for smirking at her response. "And you can't say he's stronger because he's yet to beat me in a sparring match!"
Glorfindel only laughed as he leaned down slightly in order to see eye to eye with the lady of the moonlight. "Perhaps, but he did catch you unaware just now. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"I was thinking! Besides I wasn't hunting anyone! It was Elrohir that wanted to sneak up on Elladan!" At her outburst she knew that Elrohir had looked to the ground in embarrassment for at that moment, Elladan broke out into a fit of giggles. Sending the younger twin an apologizing look, she was thankful to see Erestor attempting to make the elder quiet down.
"T'is no excuse hiril nin." Glorfindel was having far too much fun with this.
"Please do not tease her Lord Glorfindel." Blinking in surprise, Ithil looked up to see Orophin hovering close to her with a protective look in his dark colored eyes. At this she smiled lightly knowing that he'd taken a strong liking to her and for the longest time followed her like a lost puppy. And in return she had treated him as her own younger brother to his greatest delight.
"Really! Don't be so mean to Aunt Ithil!" With that she wasn't surprised to feel the elder twin latching onto her hugging her close. What surprised her was that he stuck his tongue out at his tutor in a childish manner.
"Elladan!" Ithil tried to scold him but the look of surprise on Glorfindel's face dissolved her to laughter and soon she had to put her weight against Elladan to keep from falling again.
The elder twin smiled brightly and then shot a look of mischief in his brother's direction causing his eyes of silver to dance. "Nothing to say Elrohir? Or are you torn between our tutor and our aunt?"
At this the dark haired elf turned a bright shade of red and instantly looked at the ground in silence. In turn, Glorfindel gave the younger a puzzled look. "Do not tease him Elladan." Ithil spoke softly to him before arching a brow at the ancient eldar before her. Shaking the thought for the moment, she then looped one arm around Elladan then the other around Orophin smiling lightly. "Shall we return before we miss supper?"
Still confused, the blonde elf nodded his head and was the first to turn and start his trek back in the direction of Rivendell, Elrohir's eyes ever present on his back. Ithil felt her heart sink a bit, but she hadn't the time to revel in it for her escorts were now pulling her along leaving her only time to see Erestor urge his younger charge along. "Do you see it aunt Ithil?"
Turning her head slightly at the soft whisper in her ear, she feigned a look of ignorance. "See what sweet Elladan?"
"Albach na…" The dark elf then sighed and looked to his brother with a curious look in his elven fair face. She knew very well of what he spoke, but she did not wish to voice it. The mere thought made her quiver when she considered how Elrohir could get hurt or how Elrond would be furious.
~*~
Dinner had progressed slowly and with little event. As usual when Haldir dined with her, he constantly sent her glares that would suddenly be cut short by either Rúmil or Orophin elbowing him subtly in the side. Why did she put up with him again? Probably because he was so much like her. The elf with starlight colored hair was duty bound and noble in combat and over protective of the golden wood. Otherwise she had no reason to like him, but then again she did respect him. And in truth, she knew he'd be a better March warden than she. Not because of ability, for they were equally matched for the time being, but because she was a girl. A fact he pointed out to her all too often.
In those moments, she would respond as she always had, in anger. But inside, she found that she was finally agreeing with him. The thousands of years she'd lived were now suddenly settling upon her heart like a ton of bricks and it was becoming rather hard to breath. Dropping her head in her hands as she walked out onto the balcony that branched from her room, she was thankful for the kiss of cool night air. As always she'd been given the room over looking the Lord's favorite garden, but even it's beauty didn't soothe her tonight.
Ithil didn't know what was better, to be plagued with thoughts of Elrond, or plagued with doubt that Haldir so easily inflicted her with. She'd retired early that night not wishing to see either elf for her will was growing weak. It was then she felt the sudden urge to just leave. And return to Lorien? No, she didn't want to. Then where would she go? Shaking her head at this, Ithil then glared up at the half moon in the sky and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you often scowl at your name sake with such ferocity warrior maiden?"
Blinking in surprise, Ithil let her eyes drift to the source of sound only to find Elrond smiling up at her in amusement from his garden. His strong lithe figure was highlighted in moonlight causing his ebony hair to almost shine midnight blue. The sight alone took her breath away. Sadly, he did that far too often. In over a century neither had truly spoken to the other, and where it helped her reign her grief it didn't stop the way she felt. "Only when my heart is heavy."
Looking thoughtful a moment, the Lord of Imladris allowed his gentle smile to leave his lips. "Would you care to join me then? Perhaps I can be of service to you hiril nin."
Frowning at the thought deeply she didn't even realize that she had nodded her agreement. Cursing her eagerness, she then turned to leave only to stop at his amused called. "I need to come down stairs Elrond. Surely you don't expect us to talk from the places in which we now stand?"
"Jump."
"Man? Man i…? You're crazy!"
"Nay I am not. Jump."
Giving him a look of pure disbelief, Ithil then leaned on the railing and surveyed the two-story fall to the garden below. "I may be graceful, but surely I could not avoid getting hurt."
"I would allow no harm to befall you. Enni estel…" Elrond smiled at her sweetly and it made her heart skip a beat. Closing her eyes at this, she cursed under her breath for being unable to resist any of his requests.
"Very well then." Taking in a deep breath, she then gracefully leapt onto the railing before dropping off the edge praying to the Valar that she wouldn't be too seriously injured. But as she prepared for the landing, she suddenly felt her heart stop as strong arms easily caught her and held her close.
"Did I not say you wouldn't get hurt? Open your eyes…" When had she closed her eyes? Opening her eyes slowly, she felt her heart pound in her ears causing a rush to flow into her cheeks as her eyes met his. She couldn't move for the life of her.
He looked even more beautiful up close, and being this close made her head swim. "D-did I not trust you?"
"You did…" Smiling all the more, the half elf then reluctantly sat the daughter of Galadriel gently to the ground not surprised to find her unable to move. Steadying her gently, he then gently reached out and brushed the silver strands behind her ear before finally turning away to look up at the night sky. "What makes your heart heavy hiril nin?"
"You need not worry over me. I'm surprised to see you away from Arwen."
A small smile etched over his face as his silver eyes fell closed resting dark eyelashes against pale skin. "You've always been the type to continually change the subject. Please do not deter me now Arithil."
"Why do you call me that?" Staring at him with wide silver blue eyes, Ithil felt her heart sink at the realization that no matter how much she loved him or how much she grieved her loss, things would never change.
"Because you are noble. Need I a better reason? Now, tell me what troubles you."
Sighing softly, she then shook her head deep in thought. Elrond had never been an easy one to deceive, but she supposed that was her punishment for falling for he whom she could never have. "I merely question my worth."
Turning to her with an arched brow, Elrond felt his own heart flutter at this striking thought. "Whatever for? I find there no reason to doubt that you are worth more than anything on the face of arda."
"Even still you flatter me shamelessly." Shaking her head slowly, she suddenly gasped as the wind swept through the garden reminding her of the chill it carried and that she only wore the thin white undershirt from her Lorien attire complete with dark gray leggings. Hugging herself to keep some warmth, she managed to ignore the piercing gaze directed at her.
"Is it due to Haldir? I've noticed he questions you almost constantly. Funny though, he's always extremely respectful to me."
"It's because I'm a female." The tone was dry as she retorted her reply.
At her side, Elrond gave a light sigh and shook his head before removing his outer robe and draping it over her now trembling shoulders eliciting a gasp from her lithe form. "That is regrettable to hear. He's missing out on such a wonderful lady by his attitude then."
"I care not."
"But you do… though I'd wager that isn't the only thing hurting you at this time." Searching her face a moment, he noted the reluctant light in her eyes. "But you need not tell me."
Looking down sadly, she felt the urge to cry. Why did he have to affect her in such a strong way? "Stay with me? Don't say anything… dar-fael…"
"Innas im." With that, Ithil gently let her head fall against his shoulder and allowed slow tears to trickle down her soft cheeks as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.
~*~
Not far from the garden, Elrohir stood with his mouth gaping slightly as Ithil jumped from her balcony into his father's waiting arms. It was a side of both of them his young eyes had never seen before. Then again, he'd never really seen them talk before and had assumed that just maybe there was no love of any sort between them. But now everything was different…
Breathing out of sync, the youngest twin brought a hand up to rest it upon his heart as it fluttered in sudden surprise and pain. There was undeniably a great love between them. A love that was denied and never spoken, of that he was sure. But didn't he see love in his father's eyes when he looked at his mother? Yes, but not THIS type of love. Shaking his head slowly, he felt his body sway and fall against the doorframe that he stood in.
A sudden flare of jealousy lit his sterling eyes as he looked away. He couldn't bear to see his beloved aunt being comforted by anyone but he or Elladan, and on the occasion Orophin. Not even his father… There were few exceptions. "Elrohir?"
Looking up quickly, he met his mirror image and gave his twin a pained look. "Elladan…" His voice was merely a pained squeak as the older twin gathered him up in a gentle embrace.
"What is it Muindor nin?" Elladan spoke the words softly in a soothing manner as he gently rubbed the small of his younger twin's back.
Shakily lifting a hand, Elrohir pointed to the couple as Elrond gently tried to coax Ithil to calm down without saying a word. The elder fell completely silent at the sight as similar thoughts crossed his mind at the scene before him. Both he and Elrohir bore a great love for Ithil and had done everything they could all their lives to pull her from the depths of her grief. She was truly precious to their hearts and the thought of someone taking their place was enough to make anger flare in their eyes. "Why am I jealous?"
"I cannot say Muindor… It causes the same emotion in my heart. Do you think he knows how she feels? It's written so clearly in her eyes…" His voice then sank as he dropped his eyes to the ground beneath their feet. "I've never seen her cry before…"
"Neither have I… I saw that she wanted to, but she'd always been so strong." The older nodded in agreement before nudging his brother back into the warmth of the indoors.
"We can do nothing about it tonight. We'll just have to make sure it doesn't happen again. Not only because I am jealous, but also because we do not wish to see nana hurt like that." Elrohir then nodded likewise before following along side his twin in silence.
~*~
Chapter Four:
Ind Lost – Empty heart
Albach na – It is nothing.
Man? Man i…? – What? What the…?
Enni estel – Trust me
Dar-fael – just stay
Innas im – I will
Muindor nin – my brother