[The Third Age, Solar Year 600 – The borders of the Golden Wood called Lothlorien]
"A shadow is falling…" Ithil cringed inwardly at the gentle words of the wizened man beside her. Letting out a long sigh, she then nodded her head before turning to gaze at the Istari intently. "I have a feeling that Greenwood will fall under its influence."
"So that is why you've come then Mithrandir?" The gray-cloaked figure slowly nodded his head as he leaned against a great tree. Ancient eyes then traveled over the river as he clung to his gnarled staff. "They are of our kind dear wizard, but not many in Caras Galadon would agree with the idea of going to help them. You know as well as I that even Greenwood cares not for us…"
"Because you are of Noldor decent. I know that well Ithil… you need not remind me." He hadn't meant to be impatient with her, but it was rather hard to stay focused when he felt so tired. He had hoped that just maybe the journey to Arda wouldn't have been so hard. That maybe the hearts of its inhabitants would understand, but they didn't. All were too locked up in their own worlds to see anything clearly.
The lady elf then shook her head as she looked about the quiet wood feeling her heart pang in her chest. Being of both Doriath and Noldor descent, it made things rather hard on her to make any sort of decision. "Mithrandir… I see no bright future for Lorien."
"I know not the future, only hope to guide it on to the best course." The man smiled at her gently before resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's what you make of the present that counts. I've had much joy in watching you grow up more and more with my every visit. You are wise and kind of heart, that is why I give you my trust."
Nodding her head slowly, Ithil let out a long sigh as her fingers idly played with the hilt of her sword. "I will speak with adar about Greenwood. We cannot stand aside while our own kind is under threat. Will you remain in Lorien to support my arguments?"
Gandalf seemed to consider this a long time before his flannel colored eyes met her gaze. A gentle fatherly smile was on his lips as he nodded his head and squeezed her shoulder once more. "I could use a long rest, and what better place than the Golden Wood? You're father is a hard one to convince, but luck is on your side in the guise of your mother's favor."
Smirking lightly at this, the silver haired elf nodded before looking up at the flet that lay high in the tree above them. She was sure her fellow guardians were getting rather edgy at the idea of their March warden being on the ground and at the borders with no one but an old man to protect her. It amused her really, for they didn't realize that this old man was an Istari. And had they listened to the tales closely they would've known that the Istari were formerly of the Maiar. And her favorite had always been Olorin, known to her people as Mithrandir and to men as Gandalf the gray. "Then I shall walk you to Caras Galadon and help you settle in." Tilting her head up then, she gave a low birdcall to the flet above.
In moments a lithe form was making its way down the branches and soon landed gracefully at the lady's side. The blonde elf then smiled at the wizard and nodded slightly before turning to Ithil with a questioning look. "What is it hiril nin?"
"I'm going to walk with Mithrandir. I'll return soon and if I cannot I'll send a replacement. You stay here with Rúmil and Orophin. Do this for me Elen?" Ithil smiled lightly in return and she knew that he wouldn't argue with her.
The golden haired elf watched her a moment then finally nodded his head. Elen would do anything for Ithil as long as he knew she'd be all right. On the contrary, Haldir would have thrown a fit. But to Haldir, duty was more important, and she knew she could have eventually shown him how this was just as much an act of duty as staying at her post. It was just that she wasn't in the mood to argue, so she was glad she wasn't on duty with the silver blonde. "If that is what you wish hiril nin. Would you like one of us to accompany you?"
"No, we'll be fine. The protection of Lorien comes before my safety." By the look on his face, she knew he'd expected that answer. Mutely bowing before her and Mithrandir, he then turned and disappeared into the branches overhead.
"Very loyal to you I see." The wizard smiled more so to himself as they turned and headed inward through the golden wood. "And you are ever still loyal to your realm. Even now you amaze me."
"It should come as no surprise. Their loyalty maybe, but not mine." Smiling at him warmly, they then fell silent for a long time as they slowly walked through the trees. It was autumn and the leaves were now a golden hue sparkling in the midday sun. Though, in truth, Lorien was always beautiful regardless of the season at hand. The breeze that swept about them was chilled with the promise of winter, but it didn't bother her. Cold held little sway over the elven kind. She herself was tireless and strong in her elegant strides, but at her side Gandalf seemed tired and worn thin. A look of worry washed over her features as she fully turned her head to look at him. "Are you all right mellon nin?"
A weary smile crossed his lips as he nodded causing the large pointed hat to shift on his brow. "I am just tired. It is hard to help those with hardened hearts. Little love remains in all of middle earth and it pains me deeply."
"I understand. Men now fight to earn their right to live while elves hide in their realms hoping to avoid that conflict. Then the dwarves hide themselves in their mountains and caves… What hope is there for arda Mithrandir? Try as I may I cannot see it. I was there that last day of the second age. I was there to see the one ring survive. And that will forever shadow our realm. Is there any hope?" Pleading eyes looked up to search the wise being at her side and only saw the essence of melancholy in that countenance.
"Hope comes in many forms young one. As long as one heart holds true to hope, then middle earth is not without the light of day. Keep faith that a day will come when things will change for the better. For faith is the bird that feels the light while the dawn is still dark." Ithil stared at him in wonder, and oddly enough the weight began to lift off of her shoulders. "Have you been to Rivendell lately?"
Shaking her head slowly, she then looked on ahead of them listening to the wind as it spoke of other elves not far from them in different posts. "Nay I have not. It's been a good century I fear. And I only stayed a short week then."
"You avoid Imladris as though it were Mordor itself." This seemed to amuse the Istari as he brought a hand up to stroke his tangled gray beard. "Do you not love your kin?"
"That's not true! I love them dearly… it's just…"
At the loss of her voice and strength of heart, the old man only shook his head before turning to look at her with knowing eyes. "I know you love your nephews and your niece. Especially your beloved sister… But it's the love for your brother by marriage that keeps you away is it not? I had only hoped you would grow away from those feelings when I heard that Elrond had married Celebrian."
Dropping her eyes to the forest floor, she knew his voice had gone soft so that known would hear their conversation. She at least appreciated that, but she didn't like to be reminded. "I never could hide anything from you mellon nin. The feeling in my heart only dulls and fades the more I stay away from him. Unfortunately, as much as I love my kin, they all look exactly like him. Only Arwen received her mother's eyes, but still she has his hair and complexion. I cannot run from him even though I don't see him. I just wish I could grow away from this grief…"
"Close your eyes not to other opportunities. I heard that the children of Halmir have come to Lorien finally. How are they? Was that not their uncle Elen?"
Arching a platinum brow at the man, she merely nodded her head and started to smile. "Orophin is the youngest, then there is Rúmil…" The smile faded as she began to brood slightly. "And Haldir."
"And Haldir? Why say that with such gloominess?" A low chuckle left the Istari as he shook his head. "It is not often I hear such dislike in your voice! Is he not your second in command? I'm sure I've heard his name before…"
"He is…" The tone of voice was flat as her expression reflected her brooding. "But he's also my biggest antagonist. He always cuts me down…"
Nodding his head slowly, he continued to look on ahead as the jovial manner resolved into that of calm wisdom. "Look not at the present behavior as a flaw, but as a defense for something that happened earlier in life. Think of yourself Ithil, for you were once brilliant in your content. But after your heartbreak with Elrond, you now walk with the shadow of grief and rarely do I hear the sound of true happiness in your voice. In the same way, I want you to understand, that Haldir did not live an easy life. He is the way he is for his own personal reason of grief. Be not quick to judge sweet Ithil."
A sudden smile of understanding and guilt then touched her lips as she slowly nodded her head. "You're wisdom always humbles me Mithrandir. Thank you… I don't think I shall see Haldir in the same light any longer. Even though I'm sure it will be hard to quell my anger at times."
"Nothing is easy in life I assure you. You need only to remain true and strong in your resolve. And that I'm sure you can handle. The dawn will come to all, even you."
~*~
Orophin sighed softly as he leaned against the tree that held the flet high above the ground. It hadn't been that long since his uncle had informed he and his brother that Ithil was heading for Caras Galadon with the one his people called Mithrandir. He was sure the man was important, and his curiosity wanted to know why. Looking to his uncle with wide dark eyes, he saw the elder elf only smile back knowingly. Elen knew his every expression, and it comforted him. "What is it Orophin?"
"Who is he?"
"Mithrandir. You should know that." Elen smiled in silent laughter knowing they should remain quiet while on watch. At the moment Rúmil was out scouting the border and that left them alone. In truth, they really weren't supposed to talk unless it was important, but Elen could deny his nephews nothing. They were as his sons.
"I know that!" A scowl crossed his young elven features as he fought the urge to pout. "I want to know WHO he is… He's important, for otherwise the lord and lady wouldn't always be so eager to see him. And they heed his words as though they came from Illúvatar himself."
"For all you know little one, they may very well have. Be at peace for he is one of the Istari. Known to many as Gandalf the gray, he has come to show the world the knowledge that it forgot. Ithil told me a bit though not everything. You are right, he is very important."
Nodding his head in understanding, he was going to speak, but the sound of his older brother's voice caught him off guard. "Daro!" Instantly he and Elen jumped into the motion stealthily moving through the swaying branches of the trees. Finally dropping unnoticed beside Rúmil, they looked up to see two identical dark haired elves. "Well… if it isn't the princelings of Imladris." The shorter elf laughed from his spot between his brother and uncle. Rúmil had grown little and remained rather petite in comparison to Orophin and Haldir, and his hair was darker than them as well. In all truth, he looked to be the son of Elen rather than just a nephew.
Before them on horseback, the twin sons of Elrond moved uneasily not liking that they'd been caught so easily. One finally gave them a defiant look as he swept down from his steed in order to stand before the guardians of Lorien. "If you know who we are, why did you stop us?"
Elen fought the urge to laugh at the defiance and automatically assumed this one to be Elladan. For only Elladan spoke so boldly. "Because it is not safe for the sons of Elrond to travel alone. Are you here with permission?"
This time the other twin looked at the golden haired elf guiltily from the back of his horse. "No… We wanted to visit Nana and Aunt Ithil. We did not ask ada to give us leave."
"And we shouldn't have to! We are four hundred and seventy years old!" Looking back to glare at his twin, the guardians fought the urge to laugh again. It was obvious that Elrohir wasn't supposed to tell the truth.
"What makes you think I will let you into Lorien then pen-neth? Surely I will not aid you in defying your father!" Elen grinned despite himself as he crossed his arms over his chest.
At his side, Rúmil laughed merrily and nodded in agreement. "Orophin is older than you and he still can't go out without permission." This comment earned a glare from the younger, yet taller sibling on his other side. "Surely someone has come after you! How on earth did they let you get this far?"
The still mounted twin looked away in his embarrassment and shame before sighing softly. "I knew they would follow, so we slept rarely and in places few would look." Elen knew this to be wise, and in turn knew for certain that this was the younger twin. Elrohir had always excelled in his studies in strategy where Elladan was more inclined to the physical side of battle. They were like two sides of the exact same coin.
Elladan seemed to sigh as well as he looked at the ground finally feeling a bit guilty as well as tired. "Please Elen… We've been riding long and hard. Let us at least rest before you send us home."
The blonde frowned at this realization. He had been having so much fun teasing the youths that he hadn't considered their conditions. "Forgive me hîr nin. I will escort the two of you to the city. I had not thought of your weariness." Waving them to go on before him, he then turned to Rúmil and whispered softly. "Expect another rider to come. I know Elrond would not idly sit by and let his sons ride out alone." At the middle child's nod, he then turned to follow behind the young twins as they trudged with heavy and tired feet into the golden wood. Easily catching up to Elrohir, he smiled at the younger and tilted his head curiously to the side. "Why did you run from Imladris?"
Looking up sharply, shocked eyes of mithril hue met his gentle cerulean gaze. "We told you! We just wanted to see Nana and Aunt Ithil."
"Nay, that is not true. I do not doubt that you wish to see them, but I am sure that is not the reason you have defied your father. Do you have any idea what it would do to your parents, Ithil and your grandparents if you had gotten hurt? These are dark times pen-neth and certainly not a time for you two to act so rashly."
At the steady string of wisdom, Elrohir visibly wilted. "I… It's my fault. Do not blame Elladan."
Arching a golden brow at this revelation, Elen could not believe his ears. "Your fault pen-neth?" Never had he known the younger to be any trouble. "By what do you mean?"
"Elladan and I fight a lot… Its all in fun…" He paused a long time before looking wearily at his feet allowing a curtain of ebony to fall into his visage. "He likes to tease me about… about… my… fancies…"
"Fancies?" Elen thought maybe he understood, but he pressed on anyway. The young one seemed more than eager to find a sympathetic ear. Though he was sure that Elladan was listening, and by the look on his face, he was silent only out of guilt.
"Aye… He started teasing me about being shy and not telling the objects of my affections how I felt. Sadly, he named them just as one of these people entered the room with ada." The young elf trembled suddenly as he turned misty eyes up to his aunt's good friend and his surrogate uncle. "He was angry! And… and I just know that… I had to run away. I ran to the stables and took my horse out of shame and rode off as fast as I could."
Nodding his head slowly, he wasn't surprised to hear the soft guilt laden voice of the older twin break in. "I felt horrible, ada was shocked into silence as was… the other… but I knew Elrohir wasn't running away merely to hide. I followed him and pursued him… I didn't want him running away alone." Elen felt his heart flutter at the little tale being told. Such devotion lay between the twins and it made him want to smile, but it also pained him to know that Elrohir was so hurt.
"Listen to me you two. No matter what, I can assure you that your ada loves you. You shouldn't doubt that. The new information may have surprised him… even upset him, but it wouldn't have changed your relationship." Struggling for words, the blonde elf then idly rubbed his forehead with light fingertips. "You shouldn't have run away regardless of what happened." Pausing in his scolding, he was sure it wasn't his place and they would get enough of that from everyone else. "Who was it? I don't want to pry… but I can't understand why your ada would be upset over you being in love with someone…"
The twins went deathly silent, and he knew that Elladan out of guilt wouldn't say a word. It was then left to Elrohir to speak on his own behalf and the poor elfling looked frightened out of his mind. "He… he's… close to ada."
"Close to Elrond?" This was getting nowhere, but at least that narrowed down his options. That meant it was one of his seneschals he was sure. Processing the information, his eyes suddenly widened as he remembered something that Ithil had said to him on her last return from Imladris. "Glorfindel…"
This caused Elrohir to look quickly to his feet and clench his teeth. Elen knew right away that he had guessed correctly. Shaking his head slowly, he saw how this could cause some problems and great discomfort. Taking a calming breath, he then gently pulled the younger into a gentle embrace and halted them from going further. Instantly the young elf began to cry into the blonde's shoulder leaving Elladan to look sadly at the two with wide silver eyes. "He hates me!"
"No… he couldn't hate you. Not you pen-lend…" Elen's words were soothing as he gently stroked the mane of exotic black hair in calming motions. "I know this isn't easy, but it will work out. I am just glad you are safe. We'll figure something out…"
Yet still the young elf sobbed into his shoulder and the three stood motionless beneath the golden canopy bathed in the warm sunlight. Only the horses made any noise other than the crying of the youngest elf and the soothing words of Elen.
~*~
"Adar… Please listen to me."
"Ithil, you are asking too much right now." Celeborn sighed as he sat upon his chair at his desk. The surface was over laden with paper work and documents begging for his attention. "I understand the concern, but we are already stretched thin in our own defense. You should know this."
Ithil eyed her sire for a moment before shaking her head. "You have ties to the Moriquendi yourself, how can you leave then to suffer if a threat really is coming over Greenwood?"
The lord of Lorien arched a brow slowly at his daughter before settling in further to his chair. Lacing his fingers together before him, he seemed to sink into deep thought. He pointedly ignored the looks he was receiving from his long time friend Mithrandir who sat at Ithil's side. "Most of the elves of Lorien do not care for those in Greenwood regardless of my feelings."
At his words, Ithil stood to her feet and turned to leave. "Very well then, I will ask nana what she thinks. I care not to play politics with you adar." At her words, Gandalf had to try hard not to laugh as she easily played her father like a flute. For it was as soon as she finished that the normally stern elven lord nearly jumped from his chair to protest. It was far too amusing for the former Maia to stand.
"Wait Ithil… I can't promise you much, but if your heart is set upon helping them…" Celeborn paused and tried to calm himself for it was rather unlike him to show such emotion. "Take all of the volunteers you need, but I'd rather not let you go."
This only served to anger the warrior maiden as she slowly turned to face the Lord of Lorien. "And why not?"
"You are my daughter and I don't think you should be gallivanting off to any type of conflict." The stern voice proclaimed as he returned her glare without flinching.
"I will lead them. It is my idea and that makes it my responsibility. I am the March warden of Lorien as you so appointed." That being her final word on the matter, she then bowed. "Thank you adar." With that she left the room in a flurry of gray that was her cloak.
Celeborn at that moment literally dropped his forehead onto the wooden surface of the desk with a soft thud. "Why do I let her do that to me? Surely I can tell my own daughter no?"
It was then that Mithrandir finally broke his silence and began to laugh at his friend in his distress. "Things change when it comes to one's children. Do not feel shamed Lord Celeborn."
"I
only wish to protect her, and yet my wife will turn around and let her do as
she pleases. I don't want to be the evil one in her eyes. She's been so
spiteful to Galadriel and I lately and it hurts us…" The noble lord sighed as
he lifted his head from the desk surface in order to give his long time friend
a pained look.
"She still feels anger
over what happened…" He didn't need to say more.
"I still regret that, but it had to be done. I just wish it hadn't been him that she fell for. Galadriel and I never thought that she would fall in love… It was so presumptuous of us. Have we failed her as parents? Will she ever forgive us?" Degraded to pleading, Celeborn then cradled his head in his hands groaning inwardly. It was hard living with a loved one that despised him.
"By no means were you a bad parent… She will forgive in time. Galadriel had many reasons for what was done. Elrond needed to marry Celebrian. Ithil is needed elsewhere. Just be content to know that Celebrian and Elrond are very much in love even though his heart still feels for Ithil. Things cannot be changed. Think of all the wonderful things that would be lost had not their union taken place… I am rather fond of the twins and Arwen myself."
"Many are… Arwen is very beautiful and both Lorien and Imladris cherish her." A sigh escaped Celeborn as he straightened in his chair trying to regain his composure. "I am only glad that Celebrian never found out what happened."
"And she never will. There is no need to tell her." Gandalf nodded slowly as he laced his fingers together before him as he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. "Things will work out Celeborn. Have faith… you will see happiness in her again if only you are patient." It was then that a flare of hope returned to the elven lord's eyes as he nodded to the wise Istari.
~*~
Like a beam of golden light, a rider approached at top speed upon a dapple-gray steed. Other than a long cloak of black that hid all other attire only sunlight gold hair remained revealed to the eyes. The sight had both shocked and amazed the brothers as they hid among the trees looking on the elven visitor. The being was ethereal and nothing short of a beam straight from Anor. No matter how many times they saw this elven lord, he never ceased to put them in a state of awe. "Daro Lord Glorfindel!" Leaping to the ground, both Orophin and Rúmil hoped to halt the golden rider and were pleased to see him slow.
As though frantic, the golden haired elf quickly approached the brothers and looked at them with wide eyes of startling sapphire. "Tell me! Have you seen them?"
Never in their long lives had they seen the noble lord look so frantic nor heard him speak in such a way. "You mean the twins? They arrived but a few hours before you. Uncle Elen is walking them to Caras Galadon right now. I'm sure they will be there shortly. Are you well hîr nin?" Rúmil asked in concern, as Glorfindel finally seemed to take a much-needed breath.
Relief washed over his fair face as he nearly collapsed from his horse's back. "Good… it is good to hear…"
"You came alone hîr nin?" This time it was Orophin that sounded out his own concern.
"Aye and nay… I have not stopped my searched… I am sure a party will soon arrive behind me." Glorfindel replied wearily as his horse shifted restlessly. "May I go on? I wish to see them…"
Smiling at the worry he saw in the golden lord's eyes, the elder merely nodded. "Go ahead. We will await your party. Go easy on them…" The older brother laughed as Glorfindel attempted to smile and only managed a weary one.
"I am just glad to know they are safe…" With that, he pushed his horse on making himself not ride too eagerly. He now knew they were safe and now had time to contemplate all he had heard. It hadn't surprised him really to hear Elladan tease Elrohir about being in love with his aunt. He'd been well aware of the childish crush and agreed that it wasn't hard to love the lovely lady of Lorien. But him? What had he done to get the affections of the beautiful dark haired elf?
Shaking his head slowly, he replayed the events in his head feeling his heart beat a bit faster. Truly he had fought himself many a century not to look at the young elf adoringly. The child had always been brilliant in both mind and body. But he was just that, a child. Glorfindel was even older than their father and had experienced more of this world than he'd like to admit or even remember. Dropping his forehead against the horse's mane, he more so heard the animal grunt consolingly rather than heard. Had he encouraged this situation somehow?
Granted it was easy to tell that he thought of Elrohir as his favorite, though he had tried to hide it. But now things were beyond favoritism. Indeed he found the young Peredhil as beyond beautiful… But he'd thought that about Elrond and Ithil as well. For a while he'd even considered pursuing the beauty from Lorien, but he'd quickly decided against it. She belonged in Lorien, and he belonged in Imladris with his lord. And his heart belonged with his charges. He loved the three of them dearly, and the youngest twin most of all. It just wasn't right.
When he'd left in pursuit, all of Elrond's words or lack there of fell on deaf ears. He'd never left to do anything in such a flurry of madness. His very heart had stopped beating when the stable boy told them that the twins were gone. All logical thought had disappeared and he had just ran off like some knight upon his horse to the rescue. Why had he done that? He had always been so logical. It made not a bit of sense and it made him angry. What would he say to the young one? What could he say? He just wanted to hug him and yet at the same time push him away.
Elrohir deserved better than him. He was ancient and had long out lived his usefulness. Elrohir was young and beautiful and full of life. Life that Glorfindel lacked greatly. Or at least he thought so… Why hadn't he seen this and prevented it? Because you wanted him to love you…
"I didn't! I have no right to take his love!" The soft whisper was full of pain as his hands tightened on the reins. "And even if I did love him… I can't risk loving again. My soul lies too close to Mandos… He'll hurt me!"
Will he…?
"Shut up…" He muttered pathetically trying to make the voice cease that seemed to ring out in his mind. You need him… It wasn't working. Groaning at this, he then spoke in a soft croak as his last retort. "I don't want to need anyone… They can need me… but I can't need them."
~*~
The day was growing old as Haldir sat unmoving in the high limbs of the mellyrn overlooking the main entrance to Caras Galadon. Having no duty to carry out, and his brother's having a watch pretty much left him with nothing to do. If and when possible he ran as far from his aunt and Cúrolend as he could. It was a known fact that Haldir wanted nothing to do with the female race. But only to him was the reason known, and he was positive it would stay that way.
It had been hours since he'd seen Ithil and Mithrandir come into the city, but he'd bitten his tongue and ignored. After so many centuries of being spiteful and fighting with her, he was rather growing weary of the charade. Since he'd enlisted with the guardians he'd done everything within his power to hate her and make her life miserable, but with time, the urge to do even that was fading away. And that scared him. Taking a deep breath he then allowed his midnight eyes to trail over the path as movement caught his eyes.
In silence he shifted in order to get a better look, and soon he was rewarded with the sight of his golden haired uncle returning to the city. That meant only his brothers were still on watch and that didn't please him at all. Frowning deeply, his eyes then fell on the two that walked with Elen and he blinked. The two identical dark haired elves were none other than the sons of Elrond. Alone… Why on earth were they alone?
Quickly he left his perch without a sound and made his way toward them before nimbly dropping into the midst of their path. Smirking softly at the looks of surprise on the younger elf's faces, he pointedly ignored the scowl that his uncle pinned him with. "Sons of Elrond, the times are a bit too dark to be traveling alone… Where is your party from Rivendell?"
Wide eyes of gray looked at the second in command then quickly shifted to Elen for support. On the other hand, Elen had not wanted anything to do with it and wasn't pleased to have this turn of events. He was already going to get chewed out for leaving his youngest nephews alone; he didn't need to have to explain the twin's to Haldir as well. "They are lagging behind I'm sure. They reached the borders alone." Gently he squeezed Elrohir's shoulder and smiled at him before urging the twins to go on without him. "Let them rest then they can tell you what you want to know."
Haldir didn't argue as the twins walked on ahead, and he remained quiet until they were out of earshot completely. Only then did he turn to Elen and arch a dark silver brow at him. "Now tell me why they needed you to escort them leaving Rúmil and Orophin alone?"
Elen wasn't the least bit surprised at the question, and he was at least thankful Haldir had waited for the twins to leave. It just felt strange to be chewed out by one's own nephew. "They were in distress… they did indeed come alone. For personal reasons more or less I felt it wise to help them. I will be returning now to my post with our replacements then return with your brothers. You have nothing to worry about I assure you. Is that all Haldir?" The older elf smiled at the younger as Haldir tried hard to think of an argument. It was obvious to Elen that his nephew had other things in mind and wouldn't have a strong rebuttal.
"Aye…" The tone had an edge of defeat as he motioned that he was finished. "Sorry to keep you. I will see you when you return." At his uncle's smile, he then turned away and headed back into the city only to stop and turn. It was just like Elen to not waste time for he was nowhere to be seen. Strength was not his uncle's strong suit, but his talent with the bow and his unbelievable stealth made him a challenge to oppose. It was Elen that taught him how to perfect his stealth and he was thankful for that. Smiling softly to himself, he then started to walk down the path out of boredom. Maybe if he was lucky, he could find a few sentries that were fooling around that he could correct. Anything was better than sitting around being useless.
At the sound of hooves not too much later, he almost blinked in surprise. Maybe the Valar had had mercy on him in his bored state? It was highly unlikely and was sure that this was probably one of the elves from Imladris coming to gather up their wayward twins. Standing in the path unmoving, he awaited the rider to approach and merely grinned at who it was. "Mae govannen Glorfindel hîr nin. Have you come to collect your charges?"
The elven lord suddenly looked up from his brooding only to find the second in command to Lady Ithil standing before him. Pulling back on the reins gently, the blonde then slid from the back of the horse and elegantly landed upon his feet. "Mae govannen Haldir. I assume you've seen them then… Are they well?"
"Tired but well I'm sure. You look rather tired as well." Indeed he did. There were dark circles ringing the beautiful lord's eyes and his normally bronzed skin was pale beneath the fading sunlight. It was certainly not just weariness that troubled the famous eldar from the ancient city of Gondolin. "Are you all right hîr nin?"
At the sound of worry in the normally stoic voice, Glorfindel smiled weakly and shook his head. "From one warrior to another, I cannot lie. I am very weary and twice as troubled in spirit. I thank you for your concern."
Haldir could only frown as he stepped forward and gently placed a hand on the taller elf's shoulder. "Can I help in anyway?"
"Distract me…"
Eyes of midnight widened at this request. "Distract you? From what?"
"I do not wish to see him yet…"
"See who hîr nin?" Haldir certainly wasn't used to mind games being turned against him and he was swiftly losing all of his patience.
Looking down slowly, the normally vibrant sapphire eyes were shadowed by some unknown pain. "Can I bend your ear mellon nin? I am in grave need of an understanding ear and in an even greater need to stay away from the twins…"
This seemed to shock the Lorien guard quite thoroughly as his mouth gaped for a moment. It was true that out of all the elves in Imladris, the only one that had taken the time to befriend him was Glorfindel, but never had he seen the golden eldar in need of anything. It was always him that sought out council, not the other way around. "You know I will help anyway I can Lord Glorfindel…"
The small smile grew a bit as the blonde nodded his head. "I thank you Haldir. I am in debt to you."
Gently leading him into the woods, the silver blonde merely shook his head as he motioned for the other to sit at the base of a large mallorn "You owe me nothing, this is the least I can do for you after all the times you've listened to me."
"Yet I still can't figure out why you loathe Ithil so. Nor why you can't stand females." Glorfindel laughed softly as he took a seat and allowed his back to sink against the tree in utter exhaustion.
"But I thank you for never asking me to tell you…"
"I have no right to pry and you will let it be known when you feel it right. It's a shame that many do not look past that haughty exterior of yours. You are a true friend…" Glorfindel closed his eyes as Haldir sat down a little ways from him and leaned against a large root that bent up from the ground. "I'm sure you are wondering why I of all elves look so pathetic at this moment…"
"The question had crossed my mind, but I was trying to be patient." Haldir smirked as the other elf began to chuckle softly.
"Indeed. It seems I've run into a bit of trouble that I don't know how to handle. But I'd rather not think about it right now…" The blonde groaned inwardly and the emotion made itself plain on his elegant visage.
"Then tell me about something else to get your mind off of things."
"For your age you are wise mellon nin." Even with his eyes closed, Glorfindel could hear the silver blonde snort. "What would you do if your charge was in love with you? Hypothetically speaking…"
"Most hypothetical questions bear a ring of truth… which twin told you he was in love with you? I assume it was one of them since you are avoiding them. That or they are angry with you for corrupting their sister." This caused both elves to laugh softly.
"Nay, but that would not have been any easier. Your first assumption is correct…"
Haldir smiled softly as he watched the golden elf try to reclaim his lost sense of control. "It seems we are talking about the current problem anyway. I will not ask which one it is, that is information I leave to your discretion to share. But the question is, do you love him?"
Silence ensued and Haldir began to wonder if maybe his friend had fallen asleep. Though, he was relieved he wouldn't be carrying the taller elf when he suddenly spoke in a broken voice. "I don't want to."
"What we want and what is true don't always coincide. Let us talk of something else. Tell me why you don't want to love him. Is it because he is a male? Or is there something of a deeper meaning?"
"You amaze me Haldir…" Glorfindel slowly opened his eyes and stared out into the golden wood blankly as though seeing an entirely different place. "I care not that he is male. That isn't the issue. It was… I am too close…"
By the cold edge to that tone, Haldir instantly knew of what he was speaking of. He had spoken to the guardian before about Mandos but in vague details. "You mean Mandos still has a hold of you… You fear grief… But love comes and goes does it not?"
"And some love lasts forever… Even into the halls of waiting."
"You've loved before…"
"Long… long ago…" The eldar winced as the memories came flooding back to him clouding his mind. "Back to the days when my feet still fell upon the paved walks of Gondolin."
Haldir was completely enthralled in the conversation now. Not many outside of his brother's seemed to trust him enough to share such things, but to hear a tale about Gondolin from one of it's guardian's was something to greatly marvel at. "Will you tell me about it? It may help…"
Sighing through clenched teeth, the blonde finally focused on Haldir and graced him with a weary smile once more. "I have never spoken of it before… Maybe you are right…" Closing his eyes again, he then dropped his head against the tree trunk and made a soft 'hm' sound in his throat. "In the first age, as you might have known, I was the guardian of Gondolin along with Ecthelion. I was known as the golden flower of Gondolin. But together, Ecthelion and I were set apart from many of the others and refused to let our duty be tainted with anything. Even the chance to fall in love. But, I didn't know that I was doomed to failure…"
After a long pause, Haldir finally spoke in a soft encouraging voice. "You fell in love?"
"It wasn't intentional… No indeed… I didn't even know what hit me." The golden eldar laughed then as his head nodded slowly. "It was a spring day when the wind was warm but not hot, and the sun came down upon Gondolin illuminating it like a diamond. Truly the city was magnificent. It was that day that a wayward elf wandered into our realm and was swiftly brought before me. You may know that the law was that if you found the way to the city, then you were not allowed to leave."
"I remember reading that…" Haldir never really let many know, but he read when he could and greatly enjoyed history. "Was this elf the one?"
"Aye… His name was Telperin." Pausing a moment, a sweet smile danced over his handsome face. "Though, I didn't know it was a 'he' at first. For Telperin was a very petite elf and had near feminine features. In truth, his name was deceiving to me, for his hair was a dark chestnut and his eyes were like emeralds that sparkled with life and joy that in all my long years I had never seen." Glorfindel chuckled softly to himself as he played the scene over in his mind. "One could not help but smile just by being in his presence… He told me willingly that he was of the Teleri and that he'd wanted to see arda after living so long in Alqualondë. Little did I know that he was the youngest child of Olwë…"
"Olwë? As in the lord of the Teleri?"
At the enthusiasm in the question, Glorfindel smiled even more. "Aye, one and the same. The only son of Olwë for that matter, and there he was smiling up at me and asking me if I knew if I was beautiful. I think my men nearly had heart attacks at the simple question. I know I nearly did. My heart stopped and I had to turn away."
"What did you say?"
"To my disappointment at the time I merely turned the question back at him. For in my eyes he was far more beautiful than I. But I wasn't the only one that felt this way… For Maeglin found it to be truth as well. It wasn't only the lady Idril that the son of Eöl found irresistible." The smile faded from his face as he shook his head. "In time I fell for him hard, and when I asked him if he wished to leave Gondolin, he said there was no other place in all of middle earth he'd rather be. When I asked him why he felt that way, he told me that it was because he'd found the most beautiful jeweled flower in all of arda."
"Meaning you?"
This caused Glorfindel to laugh and open his eyes in order to beam at Haldir. "If only I had your wisdom then mellon nin. You are correct, but I thought he'd meant the city itself."
"You have always been humble hîr nin. It doesn't surprise me."
"Nor I…" Nodding his head as he continued to smile, the blonde elf then sighed. "I was so close to asking him to love me, to bind himself to me…"
"What happened?"
"That night, Maeglin…" The words fell like rocks from his lips and grew cold. "Decided to take what wasn't his."
"I'm sorry…"
"Telperin was never the same. The light in his eyes was completely gone and the shadow of grief lay upon his like a suffocating blanket. He wouldn't let me touch him for he saw himself as defiled and no longer of any use. Then… as though to add insult to injury, Gondolin fell." Haldir almost gasped as he saw the tears falling down his friend's cheek. He didn't know what to do. Comforting Glorfindel wasn't like comforting his brothers. "I made sure that Telperin got away, and I was certain he was all right when I fell into the abyss along with the Balrog…"
"You say that with uncertainty…"
"Aye I do… For I do not know how long I dwelt in the halls of Mandos. Only that I heard his voice crying out to Mandos begging to take my place…."
"And so you were released…" Haldir nearly choked on his words at the thought of any sort of devotion. "Forgive me…"
"What is there to forgive? It was not you that made him do what he did. And it was I that swore to Mandos that I would protect the line of Tuor and Idril making the final decision to return to the world of the living. Now, I am bound to my oath, and Telperin is now in the halls of waiting. But I find comfort in knowing that at least now… he has been released from his pain."
"But what about you?" The passion in his voice nearly surprised Glorfindel, but the blonde managed to smile gently and shake his head. "You live for others but not yourself… You fear to love because you don't want to lose it like that again. Nothing holds you here Glorfindel… And I do not want to see you pass into Mandos a second time. If you love the twin that loves you… I beg you to consider telling him…"
Glorfindel could only blink at this before he finally moved to hug the surprised Haldir. "Hannon lle, mellon nin. Your words mean much to me and I will consider them. But I do not know if I can handle anymore heartbreak."
~*~
Chapter Five:
Thelbell – strong resolve
Anor – the sun
* Telperin means silver like