Disclaimer: I don't own Excel Saga. I merely decided to collect the series. Indeed, you have heard this rant before twice. Yeah, it's a pain. *Nodding in agreement*. Yes I know Nabeshin's location is vague. *nod*. Pu-chuus? Yeah, they're coming soon…*evil grin*. And, the reviews are very inspiring…*celebrates existence of Excel Saga*.
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Scroll is laid out:
KR Disclaimer: I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby pledge, in the event that "Excel Saga" is made into a fanfic, that I have given the author full authority over it's contents, etc., and that I will not complain, protest, condemn, or file charges.
Koshi Rikdo
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Scene changes to that of the opening.
Sore wa ai ja nai
Ai wa sore ja nai
Ashite iru kedo aisarete wa inai
Kesshite ai ja nai
Ketsu wa ai ja nai
Aisaretai keredo motometari wa shinai
Kono mi sasagete inochi antedate
Wakime mo furazu tada hitasura ni
Damashite sukashite yokohairi
Tanin o fumitaoshi keri o kamasite
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite!
Banana no kawa de korondemo
Sore wa subete ano kata no tame
Stiite iu nara sore wa kitto
Ai to iu na no chuuseishin.
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Screen appears again, with Great Will of Macrocosm speaking.
GWoM: It seems that somehow, the last two chapters I was mislead into thinking that this fiction was going to be about me. I will destroy he whom made this and cause a riot in ErOnItAkE Chicken Grill. He doesn't work there, but that's only because it doesn't exist. Oh, yes. I was told to notify the readers that the female translator is sick today and couldn't make it. Author has scheduled someone as a replacement, but you shouldn't be able to notice.
The Great will of Macrocosm restores the story to the cut-off point of previous chapter.
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Today's Mission:
Nabeshin: HEY! Great Will of Macrocosm! Pedro's getting away!
GWoM: What? Really!? Sorry, I've got to go!
GWoM flees from the sight.
Nabeshin: Sorry about her…we'll just continue the story from where it should have started.
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Excel and Hyatt are now in F city's deluxe, triple story library. Excel is on the computer on the third floor, however, Hyatt didn't make it to the stairs before dying yet again.
Excel: Ecir Sirhc…Ecir Sirhc…Hatchan! What was that website again?!
Hyatt: (Barely audable) Ima…ake…ite…om.
Excel: Alright. (speaking while typing) Imakeiteom…was that .org or .net? Perhaps Excel should just search again? But then, Jack from Harvest Moon will just burst into the library, saving someone whom might not be here…What should Excel do?
Luckily for Excel, Hyatt made it to the elevator, and is now dead between the shutting doors.
Hyatt: I think it was Imafakewebsite. COM.
Excel: Whew! That was a close one. To think, there's a guy waiting outside with an Axe prepared to be guilded into gold.
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A Pu-Chuu is walking up the stairs of the library, slowly, weilding an axe of silver.
And as fate would have it, Watanabe speeds up the stairs, slamming the Pu-Chuu against the wall accidentally, on his way to see Hyatt.
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Watanabe reaches the top floor and helps Hyatt to her feet.
Watanabe: I'm so sorry I'm late, Miss Ayasuki. I promise to be here earlier than the first death of the chapter in next chapter.
Hyatt: It's ok. I'm fine.
Excel: Hey, what's your name, dude?
Watanabe: YOU?! YOU'RE THE DAMN NOISY NEIGHBOR THAT I WANTED TO GET RID OF!
Hyatt: Oh, I'm sorry. She is my roomate, E-no…CherrySoupie, right?
Watanabe: Ah, so the girl I wish to kill is CherrySoupie Right, right?
Hyatt: No, no. CherrySoupie Right is wrong.
Watanabe: Ah, so CherrySoupie Right Is Wrong. Is that Elven?
Excel: Just call me Jo.
Watanabe: Ok, so Jo, what you looking for?
Excel: I'm looking for a man on the internet who goes by the name of Eric Carter.
Hyatt: Ecir Sirhc.
Excel: Yeah. But then, people keep rushing into the library and destroy the computers, so I have run short of reasons to continue this search except Lord Illpalazzo is counting on me and I love him and would do anything for him but that usually results in my death, so I don't know what more I could do, do you?
Watanabe: …No wonder why Sir Jake told me to steer clear of you.
Excel: Sir Jake?
Watanabe: He told me not to tell anyone his real name, so I asked if I could call him Sir Jake. He said no, but if very critical situations popped up, to call him that.
Hyatt: Mr. Watanabe?
Watanabe: Yes, Miss Ayasuki?
Hyatt: Could you take me somewhere to eat?
Excel: Oh, yeah. She's hungry, go feed her. *thinking* With her gone, I will increase my speed for the search of Ecir Sirhc. I know this, even if she may not…But then… I wanna go too!
Watanabe: Alright! We'll all go eat.
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Screen flashes to Commercial Break Screen (Tan colored with a Kanji symbol)
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Nabeshin: Hm…They've found me. I must go now, to hide myself more.
*Nabeshin walks outside of his Secret Overground Lair, forgetting that he's without external support, falls.*
Nabeshin: Daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmn! Wait! Is that a girl I see? She's got long silver hair and a wing!
*Nabeshin forgets all about falling, and walks on mid air up to the "girl", who turns around.*
"Girl": (Mans Voice) I see that you can fly…That means one of two things…
Nabeshin: Hey! You're not a girl! NOOO!
Man: Yes…it is true then.
Nabeshin: What is? TELL ME!!
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Watanabe, Excel and Hyatt are at a Burger King. Excel has ordered seven #1 combos, an extra large fries and an apple to wash it down.
Excel: (Mouth full) So, Watanabe, *gulp, sigh* who is the guy over there waving at you?
(Watanabe turns quickly to see Iwata's huge grin.)
Watanabe: Iwata! I told you not to follow me, Jerk!
Iwata: Well, Watanabe! I didn't expect to see you here! And with TWO girls instead of one! Why are you the lucky one?
Watanabe: *thinking* Hm…Sumiyoshi isn't with him today…must be visiting his grandparents. *speaks* If you really insist on being here, Pay for Jo's Meal!
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*Flash to Illpalazzo's Lair*
LI: It appears to me that this is getting out of hand…I expected Excel and Hyatt to figure it out by now…Perhaps he will tell him hisself? Oh well…at least he's one to work without a doubt.
*Illpalazzo starts playing 4's game*
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Fade to black screen:
Today's mission, …
Mission…….Failed!
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Screen moves right slightly as Menchi enter a spotlight. She howls to some music while the replacement translator appears in the lower right hand corner.
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Menchi is grabbed out of the spotlight by Excel's arm.