Kiss the Girl
Chapter 6
It Wasn't the Orange Juice
~*~
Author's Notes: First off, I'm incredibly sorry for the long wait here. I had to go to a conference in D.C. last week, and my beta-reader couldn't get this to me on time. It wasn't her fault; there just weren't enough hours in the day. When I finally did get it, she couldn't send it to me formatted. In the end, I just decided to put the darn thing up, so please don't stone me if you catch a spelling error. So, here it is, the long awaited Chapter 6.
Also, Tsunami Wave suggested that I respond to my reviewers. Quite frankly, I was stunned. I didn't know you guys wanted to hear back from me! Anyhoo, I decided to go ahead and do so, especially after reading all of the incredibly wonderful comments you all left me. Please continue to do so here, as I am the very definition of the neologism "Review Mongrel."
Disclaimer: Though at times I've dearly wished it, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and all the other wonderful characters that J.K. Rowling created are not mine. I'm just borrowing them until the Obsession Police come and put me away.
***
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
-William Congreve
***
Harry knew that he never had to be afraid of Ron. His best friend was loyal, steadfast, and would anything for him. Ron's reactions, on the other hand, were definitely something worth fearing. It wasn't that Ron was unstable, though at times, he seemed a bit (thanks to the recent matchmaking attempts bestowed upon him by his loving friends.) Ron just had what most people would call a fiery temper, a temper that made him act somewhat…passionate about what was going on around him.
Thus, while Ron, Draco Malfoy, and the word passionate would not usually be put together in the same sentence, Harry had a feeling that if Ron found out he'd made a plan with Draco Malfoy he would be sure to passionately slam both Harry and Draco's heads into the nearest wall. Harry conveyed his fears to Ginny, seeing as how Hermione was once again out of the question. Harry longed for the day when he could let his bushy-haired friend into all the details of his life again, but for now, found solace in his best friend's sister. Of course, Harry just thought of it is as making small talk, he'd never taken solace in anybody! Or at least, that's what he told himself.
"Harry, Ron would never slam your head into a wall." Ginny stated firmly.
"You think?"
"Of course! A bedpost, maybe, but never a wall." Ginny kept her face as unemotional as she could, all the while imagining she was Snape witnessing the descent of all human nature into Hell. In short, pretending not to care.
"You are of no help, you know that?" Harry fell back into the chair he'd been sitting on.
"That's not true! I'm the one who got Lavender and Parvati to agree to get Hermione ready for Friday!" Ginny stuck her tongue out at Harry.
"That was mature," Harry said in a mock superior tone.
"I wasn't trying to be!" Ginny and Harry stared daggers at each other for a moment before both broke out into fits of laughter. "I'm sorry, Harry," Ginny finally got out, "But you're just so easy!"
"You know, Malfoy said the same thing," Harry looked glum, as well as easy, but Ginny didn't mention that.
"Are you comparing me to that brainless git?"
"No?"
"That's what I thought."
Harry looked at his watch, he'd been forced to steal one of the twenty-three Dudley had acquired throughout the years, as his had been irreparably damaged after last year's dunk in the lake. He noted that he had Transfiguration in only five minutes, and got up to gather his books. Just as he did so, Hermione hurried by him. After a quick farewell to Ginny, Harry followed after her.
"Where's Ron?" Harry asked, when he finally caught up.
"How should I know, the prat has been a bother all morning." Harry mentally winced, if the day ever came when his two best friend's stopped bickering, he'd be forced to stop breathing and die. It would be the only logical thing to do.
"What happened this time?" Harry asked.
"Just like I thought, you're on his side!"
"No I'm not…at least, I don't think I am." Harry thought back to what Ron could have possibly done. Something about that morning tugged on his memory, but it wasn't clear enough to give him a well-formed idea of what Hermione was angry about. Didn't it have something to do with oranges?
"I know you two are keeping a secret from me, Harry Potter, Ron all but told me this morning!"
Harry tried to force back his shock, "What do you mean?"
Earlier That Morning…Ron had been staring at Hermione for a good five minutes, memorizing the way her face became one of the utmost concentrated when she was studying, which was what she was doing now. Of course, this is how her face looked 95 percent of the time he was around her, yet it still managed to captivate him.
"Pass the orange juice, please." Hermione said. Ron continued to stare at her, not complying in the least. Truthfully he hadn't even heard her, too caught up in visions of frolicking through the woods, Hermione's hand in his.
"Ron, could you pass the orange juice?" Hermione asked again, before flipping another page of Everything One Could Possibly Need to Learn About the O.W.L.'s: Get a Perfect Score or Die Trying. Ron passed the beverage silently, forsaking his usual comment about Hermione's reading during breakfast. Hermione waited, but no remark came her way. This distressed his female friend greatly. "Ron?" she queried, finally looking up, "Don't you have anything to say?"
"Er…" The aforementioned boy snapped out of his reverie. This one had involved chocolate, but is really too scary to get into detail about. Ron looked to Harry for the answer to Hermione's question, but found him talking to his little sister. 'No help there,' he thought grudgingly. He promised to punish Harry later.
"Here you are?" he tried.
"Ron! I'm reading while I eat!" Hermione looked outraged.
"Yes…yes you are Hermione." Ron felt himself beginning to sweat, when did the Great Hall get so hot?
Hermione was silently urging him on with her eyes. "Well?" she finally burst.
"Hermione, what are you going on about?" Ron fidgeted in his seat; Hermione was giving him a livid look that spoke volumes. Right now, it was telling him that he was the biggest idiot on the planet, and might as well drop out of Hogwarts now and clean bathrooms at The Three Broomsticks.
"You are so inconsiderate, Ron! I can't believe you!" Hermione got up and left the Great Hall, leaving a perplexed Ron in her wake. Harry, who had just turned to his friend, raised an eyebrow.
"What's wrong with Hermione?" he asked.
"I don't think she liked the juice."
Back to the Hallway…
Of course, Hermione's account of the events was not so omnipotent, but a list of all the reasons Ron was an insufferable, pig-headed, inconsiderate (the list went on for quite awhile) villain.
"A villain, Hermione? Isn't that going a bit far?" Harry felt severely sorry for Ron, even if he was terrified to tell him about the little appointment he'd planned for him and Malfoy.
"No!" Hermione retorted, not even bothering to make her response more than a monosyllable.
"But Ron said it was about juice," Harry struggled with the minimal amount of facts he'd been given by both parties.
"Of course he would! He doesn't know anything!" Hermione stopped and threw her hands in the air. This caused her books to go tumbling towards the ground, as she had let go of them during the theatrics. Luckily, Harry managed to catch them before they went scattering down the hallway.
"Who doesn't know anything?" Ron asked. He had just come across the two in the hallway, and was wondering why Hermione seemed so peeved at Harry.
"You!" She exclaimed, prior to grabbing her books back and marching into the Transfiguration room.
"What did I do?" Ron whined, extremely frustrated by Hermione's actions.
"I'm not quite sure," Harry told him, "But I don't think it was about the juice." Ron have him a withering look right before the bell rang, sending both boys sprinting towards the Transfiguration classroom.
When they entered, Professor McGonagall looked up from the parchment she'd been reading, "Have a seat, gentlemen, I'd like to begin." She gave them both a stern look for almost being tardy. Harry and Ron needed no further invitation to sit down, a pissed off Professor McGonagall was a scary woman indeed. While the deputy head mistress continued to lecture, Ron turned around to look for Hermione. She was seated next to Neville, and still looking quite angry.
"Mr. Weasley!" Ron's head snapped back towards the front of the room.
"Yes, Professor?" The aforementioned Weasley shot Harry a look out the side of his eye, but Harry only shrugged.
"Can you tell me what is so interesting in the back of the room that you cannot face front and pay attention?" Ron shook his head.
"Well, I hope it was worth the missed instructions! Apparently your grade is not as important to you as your need to examine your surroundings. Now, get started, all of you, on turning your coaster into a vase. Remember, it must still be the same diameter of the original coaster, or points will be deducted."
Thirty minutes passed, but only Hermione had managed to complete her assignment correctly on the first try. Neville's vase had exploded, sending glass to the four corners of the Earth, and Harry's original attempt had left him with a plate. As class started to wind down, Ron found himself getting desperate. His "vase" was only two inches high, really just a taller version of his coaster.
"Everybody, you have one minute before the end of the class!" the transfiguration teacher warned.
Ron ran over the incantation in his head one more time. "Here goes nothing," he muttered. "Morphelius!" Ron's wand emitted a puff of smoke that hit the coaster. When the fog cleared a crystal rose was in its place.
"Nice flower, Ron," Harry stated, "But what are you going to put it in?"
Ron scowled before picking up the rose. "Your vase should do." With that, Ron plopped the flower into Harry's finished product. The boys looked up to find Professor McGonagall shooting them a disapproving look from her desk. Harry coughed and removed his friend's rose from his vase. When the bell rang Ron picked up his books to exit the room, but before he could leave, found himself detained.
"Mr. Weasley, a word? Oh yes, and bring your vase with you." Ron grimaced; it seemed his rose was not appreciated.
"Professor," he began, "I'm so sorry, but I think what happened was that I stressed the 'mor' and—"
"Weasley! Calm down, I am not going to scold you, even if that is the most pitiful excuse for a vase I've ever seen."
"Er…thanks."
"Now, what are you planning on doing with that rose?"
Ron looked down at the plant in his hands. "Throw it out, I suppose. I don't' really have a use for it."
Professor McGonagall put her head in her hands and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like the word 'hopeless.' "Maybe you should give it to somebody…" she prompted.
"Like who?" Ron was thoroughly confused. He'd never actually had a conversation with his teacher before, and was a tad bit scared.
"Is there anybody that you might have made, oh, I don't know…angry today?"
"Maybe." The thought crossed Ron's mind that it seemed as if McGonagall was trying to set him up as well, but quickly discharged it as a product of sleep deprivation. Not that he'd been sleep deprived as of late.
"Good, I'm glad we had this talk, Weasley. Now, hurry along, you'll be late for your next class."
Ron left the classroom in a rather large daze, visions of a matchmaking McGonagall running through his head. "What next, Draco Malfoy?" he said to himself. With that he tucked the rose into his bag and left for Charms.
*~*~ -------
That night Harry and Ron were discussing the latter's talk with Professor McGonagall. "I don't know Ron, I think it's a pretty good idea. The French gave America a huge statue to promote good tidings, your rose should at least lower the contempt."
"When did you start learning about politics?" Ron growled, annoyed by Harry's lack of compassion.
"This summer when I was trying to keep my mind off the tournament. It was in one of Dudley's books. Why, want to borrow one?"
"No."
"Right then. So, are you going to give it to her or not?" Harry didn't bother to hide his grin.
"I guess I am," Ron stood up and looked at Harry one last time. His friend gave him an army salute, then made a shooing motion with his hands.
"With friend's like you, who needs You-Know-Who!"
Ron crossed the Common Room somewhat slowly, trying to delay the inevitable. When he finally did reach the table she was situated at, he pulled out a chair and waited for her to respond. Fifteen minutes later, she still hadn't looked up.
Impatience finally caught up with Ron. "Hermione, are you just going to sit there and read? There is more to life."
Hermione glanced up at him, her eyes somewhat misty, "I've been waiting for you to tell me that all day!"
"You have?" Ron pinched his arm, trying to decide if he was in another daydream.
"That's why I got so angry this morning, because you didn't care." Hermione made this sound as if it were the most logical explanation in the world.
"But Hermione, you hate it when I interrupt you when you're reading." The world had been turned upside down and shaken for its lunch money, Ron concluded.
"Yes, but you always do it anyway. This morning you didn't even bother, so I thought you didn't care."
"Um…I guess that makes sense," Ron said, thinking that it didn't make any sense in the least. Ron pulled the rose out of his bag, hesitantly placing it on the desk before his friend. "I…I thought you might want this, since I messed it up and all."
Yes, Ronald Weasley was the Don Juan of Hogwarts. However, Hermione picked up the crystal figure lovingly. "It's beautiful Ron, the best vase anybody has ever given me."
Ron turned a few shades of red, but managed to stop the color display after about seven or eight different tints.
"Right, goodnight then." Ron got up to leave.
"You're just going to go to bed?" Hermione looked at him incredulously.
"Yes, it's been a really long day and all…bye!" Ron retreated to his dormitory. When he got there, Harry was waiting for him. In the background Dean and Seamus were looking through a Quidditch magazine, while Neville was snoring loudly.
"Guess I should call off all the plans," Harry assessed, looking at Ron's blush.
"Not so much, Harry."
"What do you mean? Didn't she like the rose?" Harry inwardly sighed.
"Um…yes. But you see, I kind of left right after that."
Harry's feelings of guilt over handing Ron over to Draco seemed to lighten, "What do you mean you left?"
"I said goodnight, then I left." Ron threw himself on his bed, then buried his face in the pillow.
"You, my friend, are pathetic."
"Idwo." Ron muttered, his head still in the pillow.
"What about Idaho?" Harry wondered when his friend had learned about that particular state.
Ron lifted his head so that he could talk to Harry—rather than the sheets. "I said 'I don't know,' what's an Idawho?"
"Idaho, Ron, and never mind. Just go to bed."
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I know you all were expecting Draco preparing Ron for the date, but this chapter kind of wrote itself. However, be here next time for Draco, Ron, and lot so of hair gel. Muah.
I'd also like to give a special thanks to everybody that reviewed the last chapter, not only did you guys get me into the triple digits, but you made a rather hellish-week ten times better than it would have been. My gratitude to…
Tsunami Wave: Brilliant idea! Now you can tell everybody you're responsible for my responses. Ooh…alliteration.
The AngelicFairy: Maybe your hopes will be answered soon!
She's a Star: Wow! A review for every chapter, and with a top five list included! Here's another chapter, so need to die of Kiss the Girl deprivation. Thanks!
Redgem: What can I say? You're the best editor a fangirl can have! And those multiple personalities you have, nothing to worry about. I think…
Silver Phoenix: Yes, as much as I love it, when you get down to the most basic summary, there are definitely some things to poke fun at. ::Grins::
PrincessMiyako: Yes, maybe I should have named the story "Oblivious," all the characters seem to do an awful good depiction of the word. ^_~. I'm glad you like the portrayals as well, it's so hard to know if one's doing the characters justice. And the commas…I've been working on the problem forever, hehe.
EclipsedPlanet: Yes, Harry was scared for his life there. It was just my way of satirizing all of the slash that starts out that way. No offense to slash, of course. Just because I can't stomach it, it doesn't mean I'm against it. ::Grins::
Ilana Grint: You sure did go through a lot of trouble! I hope your computer is okay. Your review was by far one of the most entertaining I'd ever gotten, thanks!
carlyd: Your compliment was particularly touching, as there are tons of good Draco's out there. I'm so glad you liked mine.
dannysgirl: There seems to be a conflict going on between those rooting for H/G and those against it, but I think I can safely hint that you might be right.
Tikal: Yes, though I don't think Seamus cross-dresses in all of his leisure time, I felt the need to write the incident in here! ::Grins::
jaffacake: Yes, you never know when you're going to get a teacher like that! ^_~
Hermione_2000: Well, I'm glad you liked most of the story! No promises on Ginny, though. Don't worry, this is a Ron/Hermione fic., and I will try my hardest to keep the story centered around them. Thank you for the review!
laJaridiniere, Dibble (fear not, I'm back!), The Evil One, the queen of fire and ice, wmlaw, shan, Maddie Lupin, venus725, Meg, Hyperlymad, Heather, HermioneJayne, FoolofaTook, and Marionette also get a big fat thank-you! (As opposed to a skinny little one ^_~, thanks guys!)
I replied to all the reviews from chapter six, if you ever left a comment before that, the thanks apply to you as well. Without the readers, my story would just be another thing for the voices inside my head to mock me about. If you were in here, and wonder why you didn't get your own little spot, it's just because there was nothing to respond to that didn't involve the word "Thank You," repeatedly. I love you all just as much as anybody that got a comment, fear not!
You see how much I worry about you people; I'm bordering neurotic here!
Okay, maybe I crossed the border a while back, but still.