Disclaimer: I don't own Excel Saga. I merely decided to collect the series. I miss the original Excel Voice Actress…Yack, yack, yack, Nabeshin vs. Sephiroth, yack, yack, yack, Iwata and Excel/Jo, yack, yack, yack, more characters to enter.
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Scroll is laid out:
KR Disclaimer: I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby pledge, in the event that "Excel Saga" is made into a fanfic, that I have given the author full authority over it's contents, etc., and that I will not complain, protest, condemn, or file charges.
Koshi Rikdo
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Scene changes to that of the opening.
Sore wa ai ja nai
Ai wa sore ja nai
Ashite iru kedo aisarete wa inai
Kesshite ai ja nai
Ketsu wa ai ja nai
Aisaretai keredo motometari wa shinai
Kono mi sasagete inochi antedate
Wakime mo furazu tada hitasura ni
Damashite sukashite yokohairi
Tanin o fumitaoshi keri o kamasite
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite!
Banana no kawa de korondemo
Sore wa subete ano kata no tame
Stiite iu nara sore wa kitto
Ai to iu na no chuuseishin.
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-Starts off, once again, in Ilpalazzo's Lair. Ilpala is reading a book by R.L.Stine. Obviously, he's grown tired of the game for a while, and decided to read for the time being. Excel and Hyatt are in front of him.-
Excel & Hyatt: Hail Ilpalazzo!
LI: Oh, hello. What took you so long? I've been waiting for a report from you two for the past week. Well?
Excel: Well, you see, Lord Ilpalazzo, we had a little bit of trouble in the research process. But, overall, we've found the man Ecir Sirhc. He was located on www.imafakewebpage .com. However, since extracting him was such a problem, and had nothing to do with our conquering of F City, Excel decided against extracting him from the website.
LI: You know, although you have a small point, you must consider something.
Excel: What would that be, Lord Ilpalazzo?
LI: This. -He pulls the legendary rope, Excel falls.- Let's not forget that even though this man is of the ignorant masses that we are trying to take over, that he provides a major percentage of the population. All of .0001% to be exact. If we do not find him, then a search party will seek him out. If that happens, then we'll be sought for being the ones to try to find him first, plus I think he could be of a great use to us outside of the internet, as you say he is in. Therefore, you must find an absolute way of extracting him immediately.
Hyatt: Well, Lord Ilpalazzo, we did find means of getting him out, but Hyatt believes it may be excessively painful on his behalf.
LI: I appreciate your concern for others, but this man has no real agenda in the internet, does he?
Hyatt: Yes, that is true, Lord Ilpalazzo.
Excel: -splashes and climbs back up- Lord Ilpalazzo, why is it that you hired Watanabe again? He seems only good for supplying Excel and Hyatt with food. Although, I do enjoy the luxury of not having to pay, he's rather useless otherwise.
LI: Nonesense! I hired him because of a script error I've come across. But, no matter. Until further notice, he will remain as a member of ACROSS. And until you return the man from the internet, you are dismissed. Please keep in touch. Bye-bye.
Excel & Hyatt: Hail Ilpalazzo!
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-Flash to the Mortal Kombat arena, where Nabeshin and Sephiroth are at a standstill.-
Nabe: -panting excessively- Had enough?!
Seph: -Not yet broken a sweat- Hardly.
-They continue their all-out rumble-
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-Pedro collapses in exhaustion. GWoM picks him up and gives him a little stamina boost. Pedro then stands up, thanks GWoM, and continues running. GWoM continues chasing.-
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Screen flashes to Commercial Break Screen (Tan colored with a Kanji symbol)
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-A pair of legs are seen walking up a flight of stairs. The camera zooms upwards, stopping at the predictable areas, and finally ends up at a woman's face.-
Misaki: …I really hate when you guys do that. -She continues up the stairs and knocks on the apartment door. Sumiyoshi answers.-
Sumiyoshi: [Hello, Matsuya.]
Misaki: Hello, Sumiyoshi. Would Iwata be here by chance? I need to beat the hell out of him for taking photographs of me while I slept.
Sumiyoshi: [Yeah, he's here. But he's hiding in the bathroom, so it'll be tough to get him out.]
Misaki: Believe me, I'll get him out. -She enters, and walks straight to the bathroom door.-(Sweet Voice) Oh, Iwata?
Iwata: -Slams the door open abruptly- Is that you, Misaki?! I knew you'd come to your senses and call upon me in your time of need! What can I do for you?!
Misaki: (Normal voice) Well, you could start with explaining why I woke up with my sheets off? And with a camera with no film?
Iwata: -Swallows hard, immediately tries to slam the door, but is stopped short.- Erhm…It wasn't me? Yeah, that's right! I tried to tell Sumiyoshi not to go to your apartment last night, but he wouldn't listen for anything!
Sumiyoshi: [Damn liar!]
Misaki: I don't care if it was your neighbor that did it, but I demand some sort of justice, so… -she whaps Iwata senseless.- That'll teach you! -She leaves.-
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-Watanabe is searching the internet, with Excel's instructions in hand. He had agreed to Hyatt's request to be the one to extract the man trapped inside.-
Excel: Man, what's taking you so long?
Watanabe: Shut up! I am trying to concentrate here!
Hyatt: So, Mr. Watanabe. When you do finally extract Ecir, what will you do?
Watanabe: Well, I kinda plan on taking you somewhere where we can be alone. Not much. I was just hoping to help you fulfill your requirements of Sir Jake. What is it you plan on doing?
Hyatt: Well, I haven't thought of that. Perhaps he may have another mission for us when we return?
Excel: Of course he will! Lord Ilpalazzo's the best employer in the universe! And he wouldn't deprave us of something to do, now would he?
Watanabe: Yes, I suppose you're right…
-The computer screen flashes a brilliant color of cyan-yellow. Immedeately, a man, somewhere around the age of 21, escapes from the lighted computer.-
Man: What's going on? Last thing I remember, I was going to Imafakewebpage .com…now I am in the presence of 2 rather well drawn girls and a strangely odd looking mirror…
Watanabe: Hey! Are you… -Excel knocks him out of the way-
Excel: Hello! My name is Ex…Jo! I have been dispatched by Lord Ilpalazzo to find a man by the name of Ecir Sirhc. By description, he is age 20, is single and looks somewhat like you. Have you seen him lately?
Man: Um…no. I haven't seen him lately, but thanks for…-Computer screen flashes again, man is sucked in.-
Excel: Well, looks like we found the wrong man!
Watanabe: …You did remember to ask if he'd seen a mirror lately…because how can one see oneself when they're stuck in a computer for a week?
Excel: Aaah…-face melts- We must find him again!
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Fade to black screen:
Today's mission, …
Mission…….Failed!
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Screen moves right slightly as Menchi enter a spotlight. She howls to some music while a translator appears in the lower right hand corner.
Kizuiteta ano hi kara
Anata ga chikazuite kita wake
Hagotae no yawarakai
Kono mi ga anata no okonomi to
Ue ni taeteru hitomi ni
Kono mi wa dou utsuru
Shokusu nara hitoomoi ni
Oniku ga kataku naranu you ni.
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Menchi is grabbed out of the spotlight by Excel's arm.