I fell.

I fell a hell of a long way, screaming all the way.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

In my head I could hear the silent voices yammering on and on.

Die human! Now you know what it is to feel the wrath of the Helmacrons!

Enjoy your fall human, for soon you will be dead!

Didn't they ever shut up? I tried to ignore them and focus on what was happening. What was happening? Oh yeah…

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

And then I landed. On top of my left leg.

"Ow. Hey, cool, I'm in a forest."

I was. I was standing - okay, sitting - okay, sprawled all over on the (pink) floor of some forest. There were freaky-looking trees surrounding me at every angle. No branches at all, so maybe they were way big sticks. Or else those weird branch-less trees that grow in Australia or wherever.

Anyway…

I cupped my hands to my mouth, trying to manoeuvre myself into a sitting position.

"Hello? Can anybody hear me?"

No response. Great. Just great.

I leaned backwards and felt something hard against my back. I turned around, and there was another weird tree-thing. I used it to pull myself up. Not that it helped or anything.

I looked down at my now-aching leg. One shoe was missing and there was a lovely long gash on my right knee.

"Great. Just great. Trust me to land in a forest AND LOSE MY SHOE!"

No reply to the yell. No sound at all.

"I'm all alone in here…
Down where the freaky things grow
I'm all alone down here
Can anybody tell me please
Just where, oh where, is my shoe?!"

I should tell you at this point that I cannot sing. At all. In the slightest.

Singing? Why would anybody be singing?

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

What? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

And it went on like that for a while.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

"Who the hell is this?"

No reply.

"Great," I grumbled. "I get stuck in the MIDDLE OF FREAKIN' NOWHERE, I LOSE MY SHOE AND I GOT VOICES SCREAMING IN MY HEAD!"

I love my life.

Anyway, I started wandering around. Trying to get my bearings, is what I think it's called. I wasn't exactly a good Girl Guide. Come to think of it I wasn't a Girl Guide at all. Oh yeah, for one week. I got chucked out for telling ten-year-olds where babies came from (mail-order catalogues from the doctor) and giving them nightmares. I still maintain that they started it.

And I started talking to myself.

"Well, Lora, this is what you get for talking to Americans. Lousy stinking aliens. Lousy stinking forest. Not a Portaloo in sight. No wildlife either. I mean, think about it. Any forest you come across, you're going to have bugs, at the very least. Then you got bunnies crapping all over the place, birds making a racket and so on and so forth. None of that here. Add that onto the fact that not five minutes ago I was standing at a gate waiting for my sister to extract herself from Marco. I love my life." And I did.

I kept walking. And walking, and walking. And…got nowhere.

"Wonder where Jess got to." Oh, nuts - Dad! He was going to be worried sick! So, naturally, I started singing.

"My name is Lora
I cannot go home
Please leave a message
After the tone.
My name is Lora
I think I'm going insane
Please leave a message
And also your name.
My name is Lora
I want out of here
Please leave a message
For Daddy to hear.
My name is Lora
Is anybody there
I need a friend now
Does anybody care?"

Who the hell? Lora?

"Well done, Sherlock!" Hey, I was annoyed. And in need of caffeine. And maybe some Immortality Spray [1]. Whatever that was.

Sorry.

"Here's the £32,000 question. Who are you?"

Jeez, you need to ask?

"Yes."

Fine. Tobias is the name, hunting mice is the game.

"Oh, crud."

I heard that. Hey, wait 'til the others hear about this!

"Eh?" Seriously - eh?

They all think you're dead.

"Whaaaaaat?!"

**********************************

A/N: Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter. I've been a very busy girl these last couple of months or so. But now I am on a roll. The next chapter will be coming soon.

I promise :-)

[1] Comment made by San the Insane (see reviews)