Love's Destiny: Part One
Chapter 3: Concerns and Confessions
Sora lay flopped on her bed, flipping through her large photograph album. Pictures chronicled friendship, fun, growth and maturity. Many of the poses and candids featured her with Tai, and she felt a pleasant tickle as she saw his tanned arm thrown casually around her shoulders more than once. Why had she in real life eventually shrugged it off, replaced it with Matt's? Star struck and stupid, that's what she had been.
She reminisced of golden days spent together in tag games and snow people, splash fests and arm wrestlings, bounce parties that had broken the springs in the very mattress she lay on. And she had let it all go so that she could have what other girls screamed for, when Tai had been more than anyone could ever want.
Had she realized her mistake too late, or could she fix her errors? Matt had been only a wolf in sheep's clothing for her, and Sora ached to have real love to call her own. She knew that that love existed in Tai's heart, but he would never free her from Matt, not when it would hurt his other best friend. There had to be some way to work this all out
Suddenly the phone rang. She reached for it eagerly, hopefully. It was Tai. "Sora, we need to talk."
She barely heard the words he said in her excitement, just reveling in the sound of his voice. "Tai, it's you!"
"Yes, it's me; I probably should have said that first. Are you free to talk, or do you have homework?'
"No." Joy surged through her as she discarded that binding excuse once and for all. "No, I don't have homework. Talk as long as you want, and I'll be here."
"Okay. This is about you and Matt. He called me, and-"
"Look, Tai, I have to tell you something, but I can't over the phone. Please, could you come over, now?"
'Sora, you know I'm always here for you, but don't try to pull something like you did last Saturday. We need to be serious."
Gosh, how much that hurt. Did he think that that had all been a game? "I just need a shoulder to cry on. Please!"
"All right; I'll be there in one shake of a lamb's tail." They hung up, and Sora quickly glossed on lip shimmer before going down to wait by the door-just in case, though that wasn't the main thing on her mind right now. It was high time that Tai knew the truth. About everything.
*{}*
Tai sat on the gingham-upholstered loveseat beside Sora, and looked at her. "What did you want to tell me?" he asked gently."
"Matt," she whispered. "He doesn't love me."
"Sora, I just talked to him, and he's scared that you don't love him! This should be easy to fix; the two of you just need to spend a little more tome together. Why-"
"Tai!" Her plea was so heart-wrenching that he just turned and gazed at her with concern emanating from his caramel eyes. "Tai, he.he hurts me."
Gosh, how good it felt to finally let that out, better that Atlas would feel if the world was lifted off his back. "I don't think it's intentional, but I can't take it anymore. He just doesn't appreciate me for anything more than a kissing partner. He's really hurting himself the most by doing this because he doesn't know what he needs. And he's hurt me, too. Not on purpose, but I give in because I don't know how to help him, and that's what pains me inside and out."
*{}*
flashback.
*{}*
Sora stood on her front porch and turned to go inside after a long date. "Matt, however, was not ready to let her go. "One more kiss," he begged, entreating her with the eyes that so many saw as a treat. But their magic no longer worked on her.
"It's really late," she began.
Matt would hear no more. He grabbed her slim wrist with hands grown tough from years of fingerpicking, and pulled her towards him, insistently pressing his lips to hers. His tongue fought to open her clamped mouth but she resisted, yanking away from his embrace. She ran inside, rubbing the red marks he had left on her arm.
Matt had never brought up that night again in the two weeks since, but that was when she first began to doubt the sincerity of his love. For true love is pure, surpassing physical infatuation and longing more for soul's presence than that of the body.
*{}*
end flashback.
*{}*
Tai had remained silent through Sora's outburst, but now he sighed deeply and reached for the telephone on the end table with the familiarity of one who has spent much of his life in that house, and the desperation of one who is at his wits end with a problem. He dialed a number, and then turned to Sora while waiting for it to ring. "Matt's going to join us," he said with terse tenderness. "Then we'll resolve this issue once and for all.
*{}*
It was with tense apprehension that Matt approached Sora's front porch. So many dates had ended here; would their relationship follow those fated footsteps? He ran a hand through his blond mop, and then pushed open the maroon oak door that creaked forebodingly.
He walked in to find Sora and Tai on the loveseat, but the latter moved so Matt could sit next to the other half of the issue. Tai looked at one, then the other. "All right," he said cheerfully. "Let's mold our problems into solutions!"
Sora grinned at the corny expression. "You're not a marriage counselor!"
"Nor am I a divorce court judge," came the even reply. "Both of you need to tell each other what you've told me, so we all get our facts straight, and then we can work it out. Sora?"
The girl took a deep breath. "Matt, you always end up hurting me. I feel like I don't matter except when you want attention, and even then that's all I am to you. I brought it upon myself, by trying to be something I wasn't, but now it has to stop."
Matt gasped at her stinging statement. "It's not true!" he cried, ignoring Tai's attempts to remain calm and sustain tranquility. "I couldn't hurt you, because I don't want to lose you!" In reply, Sora rolled up her sleeve to reveal the faint red line left from two weeks ago. "So I make mistakes," he continued, growing uptight, "but I couldn't risk you leaving like everyone else did!"
Sora looked up inquisitively. "Everyone else?" she inquired.
"Yes!" Suddenly years of hidden feelings writhed within their bonds and escaped, abandoning hesitation as they poured out of Matt's mouth. "I lost my mom in the divorce-she's too far away now to visit regularly-and T.K. too, especially now that he doesn't need a big brother to guard him any more. And Gabumon, our ways parted, and I can't have you desert me on top of all that!" His voice grew shrill with emotion, peaked, and cracked, the sound waves scattering like the people who had touched his life.
Tai opened his mouth, but Sora quieted him with a hand gesture. "Let me handle this." She turned to Matt. "What do you love most about me?"
He looked up with empty eyes. "The fact that finally I have someone to count on, who will always be there for me no matter what."
She nodded. "That's what I thought. Matt, I'm still only best friend material to you; that's what you were looking for and needed all along. I subconsciously disillusioned myself into believing that it was more so I could help you, and you also fell for it. It's not love-it never was-but as friends I guarantee you that Tai and I will never let you down."
At the full realization of her words Matt slumped down in the seat as if a fatal bullet had seared through his heart; though the organ still pumped with blood, it felt destroyed. When he looked up again, his face held the emotions previously trapped in that pulsing orb, but they were topped with a new expression: independent determination.
"You're right," he announced. "I was searching for something to depend on, and love couldn't give me that-though goodness knows I tried. I guess I just needed a good smack in the face to see where the real pain was, and now that it's in the open, that pain can heal. My friends will always be there for me when I need them, no matter what happens, and there are some things I have to deal with alone, on my own. I can accept that. Can you accept my apologies?"
They nodded solemnly. "With one stipulation," Tai cautioned, wagging a finger at Matt.
"What.?"
Tai winked at Sora. "That you agree to pay for it by being the victim of a massive pillow massacre!" And with that the two teenagers grabbed the couch cushions and began creaming their former, present, and future best friend.
*{}*
thirty minutes later.
*{}*
The battered cushions remained sprawled on the floor, and Tai plopped down onto one, exhausted from exertion. Matt had just left for practice, and the battle had ended in a three-way truce. Now Sora, slightly out of breath, crawled over to Tai and leaned over. "What do you love most about me?" she whispered.
Tai looked into her starry brown eyes. "If I had to pick just one thing, I couldn't say your gorgeous face. I couldn't say the sparkling sheen of your hair, or the gracefulness of your hand reaching for mine." He paused. "I love you because of who you are inside, because of the bond we share and our promise for a happy blessed future together."
He reached up, intent on the cherry blossom smile flowering upon her lips, and kissed his soul mate. And two hearts could be heard in syncopated synchronization, beating together as they always had and always would.
*{}*
that night.
*{}*
Matt stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror that was still slightly foggy from leaving the window closed during his shower. He had learned a lot about himself today, who he was and who he wasn't, but mostly he had learned about mistaken love. If it wasn't the real thing, as he knew too well, it could leave a scarred heart. He no longer needed love, he decided.
The pain of losing people would heal on it's own, and quickly with the help of supportive friends, but that scar could only heal with true love. He, however, was not to be blessed by that fact. Making eye contact with his face through the droplets, Matt vowed that he would never love again.
*{}*
End Part One
*{}*
Chapter 3: Concerns and Confessions
Sora lay flopped on her bed, flipping through her large photograph album. Pictures chronicled friendship, fun, growth and maturity. Many of the poses and candids featured her with Tai, and she felt a pleasant tickle as she saw his tanned arm thrown casually around her shoulders more than once. Why had she in real life eventually shrugged it off, replaced it with Matt's? Star struck and stupid, that's what she had been.
She reminisced of golden days spent together in tag games and snow people, splash fests and arm wrestlings, bounce parties that had broken the springs in the very mattress she lay on. And she had let it all go so that she could have what other girls screamed for, when Tai had been more than anyone could ever want.
Had she realized her mistake too late, or could she fix her errors? Matt had been only a wolf in sheep's clothing for her, and Sora ached to have real love to call her own. She knew that that love existed in Tai's heart, but he would never free her from Matt, not when it would hurt his other best friend. There had to be some way to work this all out
Suddenly the phone rang. She reached for it eagerly, hopefully. It was Tai. "Sora, we need to talk."
She barely heard the words he said in her excitement, just reveling in the sound of his voice. "Tai, it's you!"
"Yes, it's me; I probably should have said that first. Are you free to talk, or do you have homework?'
"No." Joy surged through her as she discarded that binding excuse once and for all. "No, I don't have homework. Talk as long as you want, and I'll be here."
"Okay. This is about you and Matt. He called me, and-"
"Look, Tai, I have to tell you something, but I can't over the phone. Please, could you come over, now?"
'Sora, you know I'm always here for you, but don't try to pull something like you did last Saturday. We need to be serious."
Gosh, how much that hurt. Did he think that that had all been a game? "I just need a shoulder to cry on. Please!"
"All right; I'll be there in one shake of a lamb's tail." They hung up, and Sora quickly glossed on lip shimmer before going down to wait by the door-just in case, though that wasn't the main thing on her mind right now. It was high time that Tai knew the truth. About everything.
*{}*
Tai sat on the gingham-upholstered loveseat beside Sora, and looked at her. "What did you want to tell me?" he asked gently."
"Matt," she whispered. "He doesn't love me."
"Sora, I just talked to him, and he's scared that you don't love him! This should be easy to fix; the two of you just need to spend a little more tome together. Why-"
"Tai!" Her plea was so heart-wrenching that he just turned and gazed at her with concern emanating from his caramel eyes. "Tai, he.he hurts me."
Gosh, how good it felt to finally let that out, better that Atlas would feel if the world was lifted off his back. "I don't think it's intentional, but I can't take it anymore. He just doesn't appreciate me for anything more than a kissing partner. He's really hurting himself the most by doing this because he doesn't know what he needs. And he's hurt me, too. Not on purpose, but I give in because I don't know how to help him, and that's what pains me inside and out."
*{}*
flashback.
*{}*
Sora stood on her front porch and turned to go inside after a long date. "Matt, however, was not ready to let her go. "One more kiss," he begged, entreating her with the eyes that so many saw as a treat. But their magic no longer worked on her.
"It's really late," she began.
Matt would hear no more. He grabbed her slim wrist with hands grown tough from years of fingerpicking, and pulled her towards him, insistently pressing his lips to hers. His tongue fought to open her clamped mouth but she resisted, yanking away from his embrace. She ran inside, rubbing the red marks he had left on her arm.
Matt had never brought up that night again in the two weeks since, but that was when she first began to doubt the sincerity of his love. For true love is pure, surpassing physical infatuation and longing more for soul's presence than that of the body.
*{}*
end flashback.
*{}*
Tai had remained silent through Sora's outburst, but now he sighed deeply and reached for the telephone on the end table with the familiarity of one who has spent much of his life in that house, and the desperation of one who is at his wits end with a problem. He dialed a number, and then turned to Sora while waiting for it to ring. "Matt's going to join us," he said with terse tenderness. "Then we'll resolve this issue once and for all.
*{}*
It was with tense apprehension that Matt approached Sora's front porch. So many dates had ended here; would their relationship follow those fated footsteps? He ran a hand through his blond mop, and then pushed open the maroon oak door that creaked forebodingly.
He walked in to find Sora and Tai on the loveseat, but the latter moved so Matt could sit next to the other half of the issue. Tai looked at one, then the other. "All right," he said cheerfully. "Let's mold our problems into solutions!"
Sora grinned at the corny expression. "You're not a marriage counselor!"
"Nor am I a divorce court judge," came the even reply. "Both of you need to tell each other what you've told me, so we all get our facts straight, and then we can work it out. Sora?"
The girl took a deep breath. "Matt, you always end up hurting me. I feel like I don't matter except when you want attention, and even then that's all I am to you. I brought it upon myself, by trying to be something I wasn't, but now it has to stop."
Matt gasped at her stinging statement. "It's not true!" he cried, ignoring Tai's attempts to remain calm and sustain tranquility. "I couldn't hurt you, because I don't want to lose you!" In reply, Sora rolled up her sleeve to reveal the faint red line left from two weeks ago. "So I make mistakes," he continued, growing uptight, "but I couldn't risk you leaving like everyone else did!"
Sora looked up inquisitively. "Everyone else?" she inquired.
"Yes!" Suddenly years of hidden feelings writhed within their bonds and escaped, abandoning hesitation as they poured out of Matt's mouth. "I lost my mom in the divorce-she's too far away now to visit regularly-and T.K. too, especially now that he doesn't need a big brother to guard him any more. And Gabumon, our ways parted, and I can't have you desert me on top of all that!" His voice grew shrill with emotion, peaked, and cracked, the sound waves scattering like the people who had touched his life.
Tai opened his mouth, but Sora quieted him with a hand gesture. "Let me handle this." She turned to Matt. "What do you love most about me?"
He looked up with empty eyes. "The fact that finally I have someone to count on, who will always be there for me no matter what."
She nodded. "That's what I thought. Matt, I'm still only best friend material to you; that's what you were looking for and needed all along. I subconsciously disillusioned myself into believing that it was more so I could help you, and you also fell for it. It's not love-it never was-but as friends I guarantee you that Tai and I will never let you down."
At the full realization of her words Matt slumped down in the seat as if a fatal bullet had seared through his heart; though the organ still pumped with blood, it felt destroyed. When he looked up again, his face held the emotions previously trapped in that pulsing orb, but they were topped with a new expression: independent determination.
"You're right," he announced. "I was searching for something to depend on, and love couldn't give me that-though goodness knows I tried. I guess I just needed a good smack in the face to see where the real pain was, and now that it's in the open, that pain can heal. My friends will always be there for me when I need them, no matter what happens, and there are some things I have to deal with alone, on my own. I can accept that. Can you accept my apologies?"
They nodded solemnly. "With one stipulation," Tai cautioned, wagging a finger at Matt.
"What.?"
Tai winked at Sora. "That you agree to pay for it by being the victim of a massive pillow massacre!" And with that the two teenagers grabbed the couch cushions and began creaming their former, present, and future best friend.
*{}*
thirty minutes later.
*{}*
The battered cushions remained sprawled on the floor, and Tai plopped down onto one, exhausted from exertion. Matt had just left for practice, and the battle had ended in a three-way truce. Now Sora, slightly out of breath, crawled over to Tai and leaned over. "What do you love most about me?" she whispered.
Tai looked into her starry brown eyes. "If I had to pick just one thing, I couldn't say your gorgeous face. I couldn't say the sparkling sheen of your hair, or the gracefulness of your hand reaching for mine." He paused. "I love you because of who you are inside, because of the bond we share and our promise for a happy blessed future together."
He reached up, intent on the cherry blossom smile flowering upon her lips, and kissed his soul mate. And two hearts could be heard in syncopated synchronization, beating together as they always had and always would.
*{}*
that night.
*{}*
Matt stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror that was still slightly foggy from leaving the window closed during his shower. He had learned a lot about himself today, who he was and who he wasn't, but mostly he had learned about mistaken love. If it wasn't the real thing, as he knew too well, it could leave a scarred heart. He no longer needed love, he decided.
The pain of losing people would heal on it's own, and quickly with the help of supportive friends, but that scar could only heal with true love. He, however, was not to be blessed by that fact. Making eye contact with his face through the droplets, Matt vowed that he would never love again.
*{}*
End Part One
*{}*