CHAPTER 84
Beth knew what she felt from the connection, and although Adam may be angry with her … it was
undeniable. He still loved her. He had either not tried or had not succeeded in hiding that from
her as Garrett's Quickening raged through him, and that knowledge made her heart soar. She'd
find a way to make him understand.
Duncan was still not sure what had happened to her, so when she tried to get up he held her
shoulders.
"I'm fine Duncan, really …I'm not sick." She said as she pushed his hands away and stood
easily.
She went to the doorway and looked out at what was left of the balcony. Below she could see
Adam beginning to climb up the rocks.
"We should probably get your things together." Duncan said behind her.
"There's not anything here I can't live without … except him." Beth said as she continued to
watch Adam.
When he neared the top, she could see he had no intention of trying to come into the villa.
Anticipating his path, she raced out the front door. He didn't even look in her direction, although
she knew he was aware of her presence.
"Adam!" she called out as she followed him. "Please Adam just let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain." He replied firmly, uncovering the motorcycle he'd ridden up on and
taking his seat.
It was just beginning to rain, but Beth didn't care. Moving to the front of the cycle, Beth gripped
the handle bars and straddled the front wheel, not letting him leave. "Why won't you even listen
to me? Why are you so quick to believe Garrett and not even listen to my reasons for doing what
I did?"
Methos took a deep breath. She was rightfully accusing him of what he'd done the morning after
she disappeared. His actions when he thought she'd left him were the reason he couldn't stay
with her now, but the last thing he wanted to do was to explain it all to her and see the
disappointment in her eyes. He'd rather she believe he was angry with her and hate him for his
stubbornness, than to hurt her with the truth. When Cassandra told Beth about his years as a
Horsemen, she'd asked him to never discuss it because she didn't want it to be real. She could
deal with it as long as it wasn't made real to her. There was no way he could hide the reality now,
especially if the rumors of his true identity ever surfaced outside of The Watchers. He couldn't
give her or Cassie the life they'd planned if he had to constantly be moving to evade the number
of immortals that would hunt him. He couldn't be sure of their safety if they were with him, so he
had to end it now. A life on the run wouldn't be fair to Beth, and was no life for a child.
"Please don't make this any harder for both of us." He said, his voice calm and direct.
"I'll make it as hard as I have to until you hear me out." Beth replied with conviction. "I'll tear out
my heart if I have to, because to lose you now … I can't lose you. I can't!" her hands gripped the
bike tightly and he knew she wasn't going to let this go.
"Say what you have to." Methos replied, sitting back onto the seat to put a little more distance
between them.
"You found me because of Rosa didn't you?" she asked and he nodded.
Tears stung her eyes as she let out a sigh of relief. "Then I didn't do it for nothing." She began,
her vision of his strong features blurred.
Methos didn't reply.
"I had to make him trust me, make him think that I … Oh God this is hard." She gasped as the
tears mixed with the rain and streamed down her face. She had to think of a way to say this so
he would understand her motives and maybe he wouldn't be so angry.
"Remember what you said to Claudia?" she began. "You said live, grow stronger, fight another
day."
He nodded.
"That's what I did. I did it for me and for Cassie." Beth continued. "The first few weeks after
Garrett took us, he kept her from me. He hired a nanny and wouldn't let me see her, or hold her,
or even feed her."
Methos teeth ground together with anger. He could imagine how awful that was for her, but he
had to hold his composure.
"After he kept her from me, he made threats. I was afraid that if I didn't appear to soften to him,
that he'd take Cassie and we'd never see her again." Her voice broke and her shoulders began
to shake as she remembered what it was like to think she might lose her daughter. It tore at his
gut to watch her, but he knew if he even moved to wipe the wet strands of hair from her face he'd
never be able to leave.
From where he stood watching, Duncan couldn't believe what he was hearing, or the way Methos
could just sit there while Beth poured her heart out.
"And then … Rick Shafer said he'd killed you. He brought your sword as proof." She continued
when she could. "But I knew it was a lie … I knew …" she tried to touch his face, but he pulled
back.
"My sword had been missing since the night you disappeared." He replied in a matter of fact
tone, trying not to notice the pain he caused in her eyes when he rejected her touch. He knew
what just seeing her after being apart so long was doing to him, and wondered if she was drinking
in the sight of him the way he was her. His answer came in her eyes. Since he refused her
touch, she caressed every plane and curve and sharp edge of his face with the deep brown pools
he'd thought he could drown in.
"I couldn't have known that, but I would have felt it if you were dead … I'd have known." She
said earnestly. "But Shafer threatened Garrett a few times and I saw an opportunity. I pretended
to turn to him in my grief and fear … I played him."
Methos had to admit to himself that as much as he hated knowing what she'd had to do, he was
impressed with her courage and resourcefulness, but he couldn't let her see it.
"You slept with him." He stated flatly.
"I did what I had to do to make sure he didn't take Cassie." She replied, frantic to make him
understand. "I knew you would find us eventually, and I knew I had to make sure we stayed
together. And I did everything I could to make him trust me so he might let his guard down. The
only phone in the villa was his cell, and he was never without it. I knew I had to find a way to get
him to take me out of here. That's what happened when Rosa saw us. If I hadn't … hadn't … "
the image of Garrett's face hovering over her was sickening and she closed her eyes to it, unable
to finish the sentence.
"Just don't say any more." Methos said as he kicked the cycle and revved the motor. "MacLeod
will make sure you and the baby get home to your family safely." He had to get out of there now
because his resolve was crumbling with every word she spoke and with every moment her eyes
bore into his.
"So that's it?" she was angry now. "That is it? I pour my heart out to you, tell you that I did all of
this to keep OUR family as together as I could until you could find us, and you're just going to ride
off?"
"You need to let me go."
"Never." She shook her head as fresh tears formed in her eyes. "I won't let you go. If you want
to be rid of me then you are going to have to run me over." She dug her heels into the dirt and
set her jaw. She'd be damned if she'd let him just leave.
"Beth, let him go. He's a cold bastard and not worth it." Duncan called from the doorway of the
villa. He couldn't stand to see the way Methos was letting this tear her apart.
"No!" she continued to argue and refused to let go of the bike even when he backed it up a few
feet and she stumbled to keep a hold. She scraped her knee on the wheel when she lost her
footing on the wet pavement, but still would not let go. "I won't let you do this to us."
The sound of a van pulling up behind her, engulfing both of them in it's headlights made her turn
her head.
It was Richie and a woman Beth didn't recognize.
When Richie didn't rush to get out of the van, but called to them from the window as he turned the
vehicle around, Beth knew something was wrong.
"It's Cassie! She's sick." He yelled to them, thankful to see Beth was all right. He was puzzled to
know why she and Adam were standing out in the rain, but he couldn't worry about that now.
"She's burning up with fever. Joe and Amanda have taken her to the hospital on the edge of
town!"
"Oh God! I thought it was just a cold." Beth's face paled when she turned back toward Adam.
"Her nose was stuffy. That's why I was downstairs when you got here. I was trying to get the
Nanny to find something to relieve it."
In that instant, Methos forgot his resolve to leave. "Get on!" he ordered her as he tossed the
helmet in her direction. Beth didn't hesitate. She shoved the helmet on her head and jumped on
behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist as he raced out of the drive and onto the
mountain road. He'd seen the hospital when they'd driven into town and knew he could get there
faster than the van.
Beth closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the baby and the body that she clung to so
desperately and not on the hairpin curves he took almost without braking. He may be angry with
her, but his concern for the baby was undeniable. She thanked God that he was there. The
thought of something happening to Cassie frightened her to the core, and she needed his
strength to get through it.
When they arrived at the hospital, Methos didn't bother finding a parking place. He pulled right up
onto the sidewalk and in front of the door. Beth threw down the helmet as they raced inside. Joe
met them at the door and pulled her into a quick but strong hug before giving them the grave
news.
"The doctors are with her now, and they say it's bad. She's very weak. Some kind of virus."
Beth staggered at the news and Methos steadied her with his arm as the two followed the corridor
where Joe said the baby had been taken.
"I didn't know, I swear I didn't." she repeated with a whisper. "Oh God, I forgot about her being
sick when you showed up and said she was safe with Richie. How could I not have
remembered?"
"You said yourself she only had a stuffy nose when you saw her last and you were trying to get
help for it. A lot happened after that. Don't blame yourself. You need to concentrate on being
strong for her." Methos replied.
"You'll stay with us won't you?" she asked. "Please tell me you won't leave while she's so sick."
He knew he was making a mistake, but there was no way he could leave. He nodded as they
approached Amanda, who was talking quietly with an older man who appeared to be a doctor.
Beth knew what she felt from the connection, and although Adam may be angry with her … it was
undeniable. He still loved her. He had either not tried or had not succeeded in hiding that from
her as Garrett's Quickening raged through him, and that knowledge made her heart soar. She'd
find a way to make him understand.
Duncan was still not sure what had happened to her, so when she tried to get up he held her
shoulders.
"I'm fine Duncan, really …I'm not sick." She said as she pushed his hands away and stood
easily.
She went to the doorway and looked out at what was left of the balcony. Below she could see
Adam beginning to climb up the rocks.
"We should probably get your things together." Duncan said behind her.
"There's not anything here I can't live without … except him." Beth said as she continued to
watch Adam.
When he neared the top, she could see he had no intention of trying to come into the villa.
Anticipating his path, she raced out the front door. He didn't even look in her direction, although
she knew he was aware of her presence.
"Adam!" she called out as she followed him. "Please Adam just let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain." He replied firmly, uncovering the motorcycle he'd ridden up on and
taking his seat.
It was just beginning to rain, but Beth didn't care. Moving to the front of the cycle, Beth gripped
the handle bars and straddled the front wheel, not letting him leave. "Why won't you even listen
to me? Why are you so quick to believe Garrett and not even listen to my reasons for doing what
I did?"
Methos took a deep breath. She was rightfully accusing him of what he'd done the morning after
she disappeared. His actions when he thought she'd left him were the reason he couldn't stay
with her now, but the last thing he wanted to do was to explain it all to her and see the
disappointment in her eyes. He'd rather she believe he was angry with her and hate him for his
stubbornness, than to hurt her with the truth. When Cassandra told Beth about his years as a
Horsemen, she'd asked him to never discuss it because she didn't want it to be real. She could
deal with it as long as it wasn't made real to her. There was no way he could hide the reality now,
especially if the rumors of his true identity ever surfaced outside of The Watchers. He couldn't
give her or Cassie the life they'd planned if he had to constantly be moving to evade the number
of immortals that would hunt him. He couldn't be sure of their safety if they were with him, so he
had to end it now. A life on the run wouldn't be fair to Beth, and was no life for a child.
"Please don't make this any harder for both of us." He said, his voice calm and direct.
"I'll make it as hard as I have to until you hear me out." Beth replied with conviction. "I'll tear out
my heart if I have to, because to lose you now … I can't lose you. I can't!" her hands gripped the
bike tightly and he knew she wasn't going to let this go.
"Say what you have to." Methos replied, sitting back onto the seat to put a little more distance
between them.
"You found me because of Rosa didn't you?" she asked and he nodded.
Tears stung her eyes as she let out a sigh of relief. "Then I didn't do it for nothing." She began,
her vision of his strong features blurred.
Methos didn't reply.
"I had to make him trust me, make him think that I … Oh God this is hard." She gasped as the
tears mixed with the rain and streamed down her face. She had to think of a way to say this so
he would understand her motives and maybe he wouldn't be so angry.
"Remember what you said to Claudia?" she began. "You said live, grow stronger, fight another
day."
He nodded.
"That's what I did. I did it for me and for Cassie." Beth continued. "The first few weeks after
Garrett took us, he kept her from me. He hired a nanny and wouldn't let me see her, or hold her,
or even feed her."
Methos teeth ground together with anger. He could imagine how awful that was for her, but he
had to hold his composure.
"After he kept her from me, he made threats. I was afraid that if I didn't appear to soften to him,
that he'd take Cassie and we'd never see her again." Her voice broke and her shoulders began
to shake as she remembered what it was like to think she might lose her daughter. It tore at his
gut to watch her, but he knew if he even moved to wipe the wet strands of hair from her face he'd
never be able to leave.
From where he stood watching, Duncan couldn't believe what he was hearing, or the way Methos
could just sit there while Beth poured her heart out.
"And then … Rick Shafer said he'd killed you. He brought your sword as proof." She continued
when she could. "But I knew it was a lie … I knew …" she tried to touch his face, but he pulled
back.
"My sword had been missing since the night you disappeared." He replied in a matter of fact
tone, trying not to notice the pain he caused in her eyes when he rejected her touch. He knew
what just seeing her after being apart so long was doing to him, and wondered if she was drinking
in the sight of him the way he was her. His answer came in her eyes. Since he refused her
touch, she caressed every plane and curve and sharp edge of his face with the deep brown pools
he'd thought he could drown in.
"I couldn't have known that, but I would have felt it if you were dead … I'd have known." She
said earnestly. "But Shafer threatened Garrett a few times and I saw an opportunity. I pretended
to turn to him in my grief and fear … I played him."
Methos had to admit to himself that as much as he hated knowing what she'd had to do, he was
impressed with her courage and resourcefulness, but he couldn't let her see it.
"You slept with him." He stated flatly.
"I did what I had to do to make sure he didn't take Cassie." She replied, frantic to make him
understand. "I knew you would find us eventually, and I knew I had to make sure we stayed
together. And I did everything I could to make him trust me so he might let his guard down. The
only phone in the villa was his cell, and he was never without it. I knew I had to find a way to get
him to take me out of here. That's what happened when Rosa saw us. If I hadn't … hadn't … "
the image of Garrett's face hovering over her was sickening and she closed her eyes to it, unable
to finish the sentence.
"Just don't say any more." Methos said as he kicked the cycle and revved the motor. "MacLeod
will make sure you and the baby get home to your family safely." He had to get out of there now
because his resolve was crumbling with every word she spoke and with every moment her eyes
bore into his.
"So that's it?" she was angry now. "That is it? I pour my heart out to you, tell you that I did all of
this to keep OUR family as together as I could until you could find us, and you're just going to ride
off?"
"You need to let me go."
"Never." She shook her head as fresh tears formed in her eyes. "I won't let you go. If you want
to be rid of me then you are going to have to run me over." She dug her heels into the dirt and
set her jaw. She'd be damned if she'd let him just leave.
"Beth, let him go. He's a cold bastard and not worth it." Duncan called from the doorway of the
villa. He couldn't stand to see the way Methos was letting this tear her apart.
"No!" she continued to argue and refused to let go of the bike even when he backed it up a few
feet and she stumbled to keep a hold. She scraped her knee on the wheel when she lost her
footing on the wet pavement, but still would not let go. "I won't let you do this to us."
The sound of a van pulling up behind her, engulfing both of them in it's headlights made her turn
her head.
It was Richie and a woman Beth didn't recognize.
When Richie didn't rush to get out of the van, but called to them from the window as he turned the
vehicle around, Beth knew something was wrong.
"It's Cassie! She's sick." He yelled to them, thankful to see Beth was all right. He was puzzled to
know why she and Adam were standing out in the rain, but he couldn't worry about that now.
"She's burning up with fever. Joe and Amanda have taken her to the hospital on the edge of
town!"
"Oh God! I thought it was just a cold." Beth's face paled when she turned back toward Adam.
"Her nose was stuffy. That's why I was downstairs when you got here. I was trying to get the
Nanny to find something to relieve it."
In that instant, Methos forgot his resolve to leave. "Get on!" he ordered her as he tossed the
helmet in her direction. Beth didn't hesitate. She shoved the helmet on her head and jumped on
behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist as he raced out of the drive and onto the
mountain road. He'd seen the hospital when they'd driven into town and knew he could get there
faster than the van.
Beth closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the baby and the body that she clung to so
desperately and not on the hairpin curves he took almost without braking. He may be angry with
her, but his concern for the baby was undeniable. She thanked God that he was there. The
thought of something happening to Cassie frightened her to the core, and she needed his
strength to get through it.
When they arrived at the hospital, Methos didn't bother finding a parking place. He pulled right up
onto the sidewalk and in front of the door. Beth threw down the helmet as they raced inside. Joe
met them at the door and pulled her into a quick but strong hug before giving them the grave
news.
"The doctors are with her now, and they say it's bad. She's very weak. Some kind of virus."
Beth staggered at the news and Methos steadied her with his arm as the two followed the corridor
where Joe said the baby had been taken.
"I didn't know, I swear I didn't." she repeated with a whisper. "Oh God, I forgot about her being
sick when you showed up and said she was safe with Richie. How could I not have
remembered?"
"You said yourself she only had a stuffy nose when you saw her last and you were trying to get
help for it. A lot happened after that. Don't blame yourself. You need to concentrate on being
strong for her." Methos replied.
"You'll stay with us won't you?" she asked. "Please tell me you won't leave while she's so sick."
He knew he was making a mistake, but there was no way he could leave. He nodded as they
approached Amanda, who was talking quietly with an older man who appeared to be a doctor.