CHAPTER 86
For the next three days, Beth and Adam spent almost every moment with Cassie to comfort and
reassure her as the treatment and the disease ran it's course. After the initial hours, Adam
suggested she let him stay with the baby while she got some rest, but Beth couldn't bring herself
to leave. He'd gotten a few hours sleep and something to eat when Amanda sat with Beth and the
baby, but for more than 30 hours the devoted Mother would not budge. It was only after much
encouragement and begging on his part that she finally took a break.
"I won't leave her for a second and will call you if there is any change." He reassured her.
Beth gave him a weak smile and nodded her agreement. "I won't be gone more than a few
hours."
"Please get some sleep." Adam pleaded with her, not able to keep himself from putting his hand
on her shoulder firmly as he looked at her directly. He really wanted to pull her into his arms and
hold her, but knew he could not.
Beth relished the even brief contact and hated when he moved away.
Richie met her outside the room.
"You look exhausted." He commented as he handed her a sandwich.
"I am." She replied. "Adam insisted I get some rest, but I don't know that I can sleep."
"He's right. You need to try. I heard the doctor offer to prescribe a sedative to help you rest?
Want me to pick it up for you?"
Beth shook her head. "No, but I would take a ride to Rosa's. It was kind of her to offer her home,
and at least it's only a few minutes away."
"No problem." Richie put his arm around her shoulder and led her down the hall and outside.
When Beth got into the van she leaned back into the seat and closed her eyes, as much as she
hated leaving Cassie's side for even a minute, it did feel good to be out in the sunshine.
Richie climbed in on the other side and saw she was trying to relax. He couldn't believe how
strong she was being, not only with what was happening to the baby, but in the aftermath of the
kidnapping and now Methos acting like a jerk. To be so old, the man was a fool. Time is
precious, and he at least realized it.
He didn't notice Beth studying him silently as they waited for a delivery truck to move out of the
way so they could leave the hospital parking lot.
"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked.
Richie's face clouded over a little. "It was nothing."
"Seemed like a pretty serious nothing to me." Beth replied. "Mind if I take a guess? You were
thinking about Claudia?"
Richie shook his head. "You read people too well."
"No, I just know what I'd be thinking about if I were you and had just lost the person I loved most."
"Are you sure you haven't?" Richie replied, immediately regretting the question because he could
see how much it hurt and he hadn't meant to do that. He'd spoken his mind and hadn't sifted it
first.
"God I hope not. I know he still loves me Richie, but he can't forgive me for what I thought I had
to do." She said sadly.
"Did he tell you that?" Richie asked pointedly.
"He didn't have to." Beth replied.
"Did he TELL you that?" Richie repeated.
Beth was so tired that she almost missed the fact Richie wasn't just asking a question … he was
telling her something. "Richie, you must have heard what happened. Can you really blame him?"
"I can blame him all right." Richie muttered under his breath. "I can blame him for making you
believe it's your fault he's acting like an ass hole and not being man enough to tell you it was
him."
'What?" Beth turned to Richie with a look of complete bewilderment.
"Damn, Mac is going to kill me for saying that. Just forget I said anything. It's none of my
business." He said as he pulled behind Rosa's house and started to get out.
"Oh no you don't!" Beth grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back into the seat. "You aren't
going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."
Duncan heard the van pull up and came outside just in time to hear Beth's last words.
"Richie you didn't!" he said as he walked to the driver's side window.
The look on Richie's face told him he did. "I didn't really tell her anything Mac …" he began, but
knew his argument was futile. He'd said enough.
"He wasn't finished." Beth stated pointedly.
"Beth it's not our place …" Duncan started to explain.
"Then who's place is it? Adam's? He won't discuss it, and from what little Richie just told me,
I've obviously been going on and on to him about the wrong issue." Beth argued as she got out
of the van, slammed the door and walked to stand toe to toe with Duncan. "Something is going
on with the man I thought loved me more than life itself, and someone needs to tell me what it is."
Duncan knew she wasn't going to back down just because she was exhausted and decided it
was better not to put her through the pains of begging when he knew she'd probably win in the
end anyway.
"Let's go inside and I'll tell you what I can. But I won't go into all of it. I'll only tell you what you
need to know to make him discuss it." Duncan told her. Beth nodded and let him open the door
to the house. Rosa was at the shop and Ellen and Amanda were out. Joe was inside and quickly
saw things were tense.
"Did something happen with the baby?" he asked.
"No, there's no change. I came here to get some rest." Beth replied as she sank into the soft
chair near the window.
"Your room is through that door." Joe offered, but she didn't budge. Instead she waited for
Duncan and Richie to come in and tell her what they would.
"What did Richie tell you? So I at least know where to start?" Duncan asked as he sat on the
table across from her and gave Richie a look that said they would talk later.
"Only that Adam isn't pushing me away because of what I did … to deceive Garrett." She replied,
grateful that she thought of another way to put it. She really wanted to forget everything about
him and what she had to do and the more she was forced to discuss it, the worse it got.
"He's right. Although Adam never said anything directly about that, I think we all can tell you that
everyone understands why you did what you did … and that includes Adam." Duncan began.
Joe was relieved Richie had slipped because to be honest, there was no way he would have
made it five minutes with Beth without telling her. In fact, he'd been thinking of ways to make
sure he could do just that. He sat silently approving of what was happening.
"Then what is it Duncan? " Beth asked in exasperation. There was only one thing she could
think of, and she prayed that wasn't possible. Still she had to ask as tears filled her eyes. "He
met someone else didn't he?"
"Oh God no!" Duncan replied as he took her hand and brushed the hair back from her eyes. "It's
not that at all. Don't even think that."
"I don't know what to think Duncan." She began to cry. "I'm so tired and so scared that after all
we've been through, I'm going to lose everything again … Adam … Cassie … God I'm so
scared."
Duncan moved to hold her as she cried so hard that he was afraid she might convulse.
Richie and Joe were beside themselves with emotion as they watched what this was doing to her.
"I don't care if he can kick my ass, no way he gets away with this!" Richie said as he started for
the door.
"Richie!" Joe and Duncan both called out to him and thankfully he stopped.
"That won't help anything! Someone needs to think with a clear head, and for once in your life
would you do that?" Joe ordered.
"But Joe!"
"But nothing. Once Beth knows what is going on, she'll handle it. The best you can do is piss
him off and the worst is end up on a slab without your head." Joe replied.
Richie didn't like it, but when he saw Beth had stopped crying and was looking at him with panic
that he might actually do something like that, he backed down. "Ok, ok. I don't like it, but I'll
leave it alone."
Beth wiped her face with her hands and nodded for Duncan to continue.
"When Adam found out you were gone. He only saw the note Garrett made you write." Duncan
began. "He didn't stay around long enough to find the message you'd hidden. He was absolutely
crazy with grief and the feeling he'd been betrayed. It broke his heart."
Tears continued to stream down Beth's face as she listened. She'd known in her heart what
Duncan was saying was true. She'd felt the rage in their connection, but she remained silent and
listened as her own heart rent in two at the confirmation of what Garrett's treachery had done to
her husband.
"He left town before any of us even knew you were gone." Duncan told her. "He cut himself off
from his friends and …" he paused, trying to decide how much to say.
"And?" Beth asked, willing him to continue.
"He did some things." Duncan replied. "He did some things because he was so consumed with
pain and rage, and now he is convinced that not only does he not deserve to have you in his life
… he doesn't believe it is possible for you and Cassie to stay with him and not pay a price he
won't ask of you."
"What did he do Duncan?" Beth asked, not understanding.
"I won't be the one to tell you. You will have to ask Adam and insist he come clean, even if it
breaks your heart to hear it." Duncan replied. "But only ask him if you are sure you want to
know, because I can promise you … it won't be easy and you may not want to risk what it will
cost you and Cassie to stay with him."
"You're scaring me Duncan." Beth told him as she looked from his serious gaze to Joe and then
to Richie, searching for anything that might not make this so ominous.
"I'm sorry." He replied. "That's all I can tell you, but it should be enough for you to at least make
him talk to you about it."
"But he's wrong right?" Beth asked. "It might be painful to hear, but once I assure him it doesn't
matter and that I love him no matter what, it will be all right won't it?"
"I wish I could tell you yes." Duncan told her. "But Beth, he may have ruined any chance you will
have to be together … with any semblance of a normal life.
He could see she didn't understand, but that was all he would tell her.
"I've got to talk to him." Beth said as she started to get up from the chair. "I've got to talk to him
now."
"Woah, slow down. What you need is to get some rest and try to sort out things first." Duncan
told her. "You are exhausted and have so much on your mind, and Cassie needs you to take
care of yourself so you can be there for her … no matter what is going on between you and
Adam."
"But …" Beth tried to argue.
"Please Beth. I've told you what I can, now please … go get some rest before you try to fix things
with Adam." Duncan insisted.
She could see she was outnumbered.
Joe had just brewed some tea that was meant to soothe and calm. "Here Richie. Why don't you
take this in for her?" he said. Richie complied and Beth had to admit a cup of tea sounded good.
"Thank you for being honest with me." She said before going into her room.
Once Richie had come out and closed the door behind him, Duncan shook his head. "I wish I
could have waited until after she'd had some sleep. No way she'll be able to rest now."
Joe grinned and held up a little bottle. "Oh I wouldn't be too sure of that. Adam may be acting
like a jerk, but he was right about one thing, she needs rest. He asked me to make sure she took
one of the sedatives the doctor prescribed. He didn't specify that I had to ask her permission
first."
Normally Duncan would be against it, but today he thought his friend had acted in Beth's best
interest.
"At least she might be able to rest long enough to get the strength she needs to deal with all of
this." He replied as he sank down into the chair she'd just vacated and sat staring at the ceiling,
wishing he had more answers.
For the next three days, Beth and Adam spent almost every moment with Cassie to comfort and
reassure her as the treatment and the disease ran it's course. After the initial hours, Adam
suggested she let him stay with the baby while she got some rest, but Beth couldn't bring herself
to leave. He'd gotten a few hours sleep and something to eat when Amanda sat with Beth and the
baby, but for more than 30 hours the devoted Mother would not budge. It was only after much
encouragement and begging on his part that she finally took a break.
"I won't leave her for a second and will call you if there is any change." He reassured her.
Beth gave him a weak smile and nodded her agreement. "I won't be gone more than a few
hours."
"Please get some sleep." Adam pleaded with her, not able to keep himself from putting his hand
on her shoulder firmly as he looked at her directly. He really wanted to pull her into his arms and
hold her, but knew he could not.
Beth relished the even brief contact and hated when he moved away.
Richie met her outside the room.
"You look exhausted." He commented as he handed her a sandwich.
"I am." She replied. "Adam insisted I get some rest, but I don't know that I can sleep."
"He's right. You need to try. I heard the doctor offer to prescribe a sedative to help you rest?
Want me to pick it up for you?"
Beth shook her head. "No, but I would take a ride to Rosa's. It was kind of her to offer her home,
and at least it's only a few minutes away."
"No problem." Richie put his arm around her shoulder and led her down the hall and outside.
When Beth got into the van she leaned back into the seat and closed her eyes, as much as she
hated leaving Cassie's side for even a minute, it did feel good to be out in the sunshine.
Richie climbed in on the other side and saw she was trying to relax. He couldn't believe how
strong she was being, not only with what was happening to the baby, but in the aftermath of the
kidnapping and now Methos acting like a jerk. To be so old, the man was a fool. Time is
precious, and he at least realized it.
He didn't notice Beth studying him silently as they waited for a delivery truck to move out of the
way so they could leave the hospital parking lot.
"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked.
Richie's face clouded over a little. "It was nothing."
"Seemed like a pretty serious nothing to me." Beth replied. "Mind if I take a guess? You were
thinking about Claudia?"
Richie shook his head. "You read people too well."
"No, I just know what I'd be thinking about if I were you and had just lost the person I loved most."
"Are you sure you haven't?" Richie replied, immediately regretting the question because he could
see how much it hurt and he hadn't meant to do that. He'd spoken his mind and hadn't sifted it
first.
"God I hope not. I know he still loves me Richie, but he can't forgive me for what I thought I had
to do." She said sadly.
"Did he tell you that?" Richie asked pointedly.
"He didn't have to." Beth replied.
"Did he TELL you that?" Richie repeated.
Beth was so tired that she almost missed the fact Richie wasn't just asking a question … he was
telling her something. "Richie, you must have heard what happened. Can you really blame him?"
"I can blame him all right." Richie muttered under his breath. "I can blame him for making you
believe it's your fault he's acting like an ass hole and not being man enough to tell you it was
him."
'What?" Beth turned to Richie with a look of complete bewilderment.
"Damn, Mac is going to kill me for saying that. Just forget I said anything. It's none of my
business." He said as he pulled behind Rosa's house and started to get out.
"Oh no you don't!" Beth grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back into the seat. "You aren't
going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."
Duncan heard the van pull up and came outside just in time to hear Beth's last words.
"Richie you didn't!" he said as he walked to the driver's side window.
The look on Richie's face told him he did. "I didn't really tell her anything Mac …" he began, but
knew his argument was futile. He'd said enough.
"He wasn't finished." Beth stated pointedly.
"Beth it's not our place …" Duncan started to explain.
"Then who's place is it? Adam's? He won't discuss it, and from what little Richie just told me,
I've obviously been going on and on to him about the wrong issue." Beth argued as she got out
of the van, slammed the door and walked to stand toe to toe with Duncan. "Something is going
on with the man I thought loved me more than life itself, and someone needs to tell me what it is."
Duncan knew she wasn't going to back down just because she was exhausted and decided it
was better not to put her through the pains of begging when he knew she'd probably win in the
end anyway.
"Let's go inside and I'll tell you what I can. But I won't go into all of it. I'll only tell you what you
need to know to make him discuss it." Duncan told her. Beth nodded and let him open the door
to the house. Rosa was at the shop and Ellen and Amanda were out. Joe was inside and quickly
saw things were tense.
"Did something happen with the baby?" he asked.
"No, there's no change. I came here to get some rest." Beth replied as she sank into the soft
chair near the window.
"Your room is through that door." Joe offered, but she didn't budge. Instead she waited for
Duncan and Richie to come in and tell her what they would.
"What did Richie tell you? So I at least know where to start?" Duncan asked as he sat on the
table across from her and gave Richie a look that said they would talk later.
"Only that Adam isn't pushing me away because of what I did … to deceive Garrett." She replied,
grateful that she thought of another way to put it. She really wanted to forget everything about
him and what she had to do and the more she was forced to discuss it, the worse it got.
"He's right. Although Adam never said anything directly about that, I think we all can tell you that
everyone understands why you did what you did … and that includes Adam." Duncan began.
Joe was relieved Richie had slipped because to be honest, there was no way he would have
made it five minutes with Beth without telling her. In fact, he'd been thinking of ways to make
sure he could do just that. He sat silently approving of what was happening.
"Then what is it Duncan? " Beth asked in exasperation. There was only one thing she could
think of, and she prayed that wasn't possible. Still she had to ask as tears filled her eyes. "He
met someone else didn't he?"
"Oh God no!" Duncan replied as he took her hand and brushed the hair back from her eyes. "It's
not that at all. Don't even think that."
"I don't know what to think Duncan." She began to cry. "I'm so tired and so scared that after all
we've been through, I'm going to lose everything again … Adam … Cassie … God I'm so
scared."
Duncan moved to hold her as she cried so hard that he was afraid she might convulse.
Richie and Joe were beside themselves with emotion as they watched what this was doing to her.
"I don't care if he can kick my ass, no way he gets away with this!" Richie said as he started for
the door.
"Richie!" Joe and Duncan both called out to him and thankfully he stopped.
"That won't help anything! Someone needs to think with a clear head, and for once in your life
would you do that?" Joe ordered.
"But Joe!"
"But nothing. Once Beth knows what is going on, she'll handle it. The best you can do is piss
him off and the worst is end up on a slab without your head." Joe replied.
Richie didn't like it, but when he saw Beth had stopped crying and was looking at him with panic
that he might actually do something like that, he backed down. "Ok, ok. I don't like it, but I'll
leave it alone."
Beth wiped her face with her hands and nodded for Duncan to continue.
"When Adam found out you were gone. He only saw the note Garrett made you write." Duncan
began. "He didn't stay around long enough to find the message you'd hidden. He was absolutely
crazy with grief and the feeling he'd been betrayed. It broke his heart."
Tears continued to stream down Beth's face as she listened. She'd known in her heart what
Duncan was saying was true. She'd felt the rage in their connection, but she remained silent and
listened as her own heart rent in two at the confirmation of what Garrett's treachery had done to
her husband.
"He left town before any of us even knew you were gone." Duncan told her. "He cut himself off
from his friends and …" he paused, trying to decide how much to say.
"And?" Beth asked, willing him to continue.
"He did some things." Duncan replied. "He did some things because he was so consumed with
pain and rage, and now he is convinced that not only does he not deserve to have you in his life
… he doesn't believe it is possible for you and Cassie to stay with him and not pay a price he
won't ask of you."
"What did he do Duncan?" Beth asked, not understanding.
"I won't be the one to tell you. You will have to ask Adam and insist he come clean, even if it
breaks your heart to hear it." Duncan replied. "But only ask him if you are sure you want to
know, because I can promise you … it won't be easy and you may not want to risk what it will
cost you and Cassie to stay with him."
"You're scaring me Duncan." Beth told him as she looked from his serious gaze to Joe and then
to Richie, searching for anything that might not make this so ominous.
"I'm sorry." He replied. "That's all I can tell you, but it should be enough for you to at least make
him talk to you about it."
"But he's wrong right?" Beth asked. "It might be painful to hear, but once I assure him it doesn't
matter and that I love him no matter what, it will be all right won't it?"
"I wish I could tell you yes." Duncan told her. "But Beth, he may have ruined any chance you will
have to be together … with any semblance of a normal life.
He could see she didn't understand, but that was all he would tell her.
"I've got to talk to him." Beth said as she started to get up from the chair. "I've got to talk to him
now."
"Woah, slow down. What you need is to get some rest and try to sort out things first." Duncan
told her. "You are exhausted and have so much on your mind, and Cassie needs you to take
care of yourself so you can be there for her … no matter what is going on between you and
Adam."
"But …" Beth tried to argue.
"Please Beth. I've told you what I can, now please … go get some rest before you try to fix things
with Adam." Duncan insisted.
She could see she was outnumbered.
Joe had just brewed some tea that was meant to soothe and calm. "Here Richie. Why don't you
take this in for her?" he said. Richie complied and Beth had to admit a cup of tea sounded good.
"Thank you for being honest with me." She said before going into her room.
Once Richie had come out and closed the door behind him, Duncan shook his head. "I wish I
could have waited until after she'd had some sleep. No way she'll be able to rest now."
Joe grinned and held up a little bottle. "Oh I wouldn't be too sure of that. Adam may be acting
like a jerk, but he was right about one thing, she needs rest. He asked me to make sure she took
one of the sedatives the doctor prescribed. He didn't specify that I had to ask her permission
first."
Normally Duncan would be against it, but today he thought his friend had acted in Beth's best
interest.
"At least she might be able to rest long enough to get the strength she needs to deal with all of
this." He replied as he sank down into the chair she'd just vacated and sat staring at the ceiling,
wishing he had more answers.