The Misfits vs. The Viper
Disclaimer: I hate these. Red Witch owns Althea and Xi, the Starrs are mine. GI Joe and the remaining Misfits are owned by other folks and Marvel. To Alison Sky, thanks for the aspirin, but I didn't need it. Owning a Gamecube, N64, Game Boy Advance and PS2 has its advantages. To Celestin, I know about the window wiper bit, but as I said in the first chapter, it evolved into an original adventure, with a real enemy.
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Chapter 4: Building more trouble!
"Ahh, yes." Paul looked at the chess game with glee. "I have you now, Xi. The Force is strong with you, but you cannot withstand the power of the Star Side." Paul grinned, impersonating Darth Vader.
"You must stop hanging around Quick-Kick." Xi examined the chess pieces. He then moved one of his bishops. "Check." Paul moved a rook.
"Not anymore, my friend." Paul smirked, crossing his arms. "Your king will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine." Starchild impersonated Mike Myers as Wayne Campbell. He then switched to Ace Ventura: "You're gonna be a loo-hoo- hoo-serrrr." Xi smiled.
"I don't think so." Xi replied matter-of-factly as he moved a knight. "Checkmate. I win again, Starchild."
"Say whaaaaaaat?!?" Paul leapt up and ran around the board, looking at the pieces in a hyperactive manner. "Now how'd that happen?" He scratched his head in confusion.
"You should work on your strategies instead of your impersonations, Paul." Xi laughed.
"I'll beat you Xi." Paul stared at the board. "One of these days, Xi. One of these days...POW! You're checkmated." Paul mimicked Jackie Gleason.
"You've said that and in 78 games of chess, I have outdone you." Xi smirked. Wanda and Althea ran into the clubhouse, all smiles. "Ladies."
"Hey girls." Paul moped, banging his head on the chessboard.
"Xi whip ya again?" Wanda reasoned.
"78 games, and I still haven't checkmated Snake-dude over here." Paul pointed at Xi. "What're you doin'?"
"We're gonna go shopping." Althea smiled. "Gotta get Wanda something nice for her date."
"Craig isn't gonna like that." Paul sighed. "He doesn't wanna go on this date."
"Yeah." An angry Craig stomped into the clubhouse and leapt on a couch. He laid down, crossed his arms, and muttered. "I am not going shopping with you girls."
"Yes, you are." Althea pointed at him. "You need to get something nice."
"I am not wearing a tuxedo." Craig growled. "They suffocate me."
"You don't wanna wear one because they aren't 'street' wear." Paul interjected.
"I will not dress like a fat rich pig!" Craig exclaimed. "I am a street kid. I will dress like one." Wanda sat down near him.
"You know, you are kinda cute when you pout." Scarlet Witch laughed. A blushing Darkstar pulled up the collar of his jacket and muttered. Althea started laughing.
"Poor, poor Darkstar." She laughed. "Where's Avalanche and Quicksilver?" Paul shrugged.
"I don't know, and I don't care." Craig grumbled. He then looked over at Paul. "Bro, what're you doing?" Paul picked up a beautiful purple guitar with a 5-pointed star-shaped body.
"I'm gonna drown my sorrows in rock." Paul sat down on the pool table, connected it to an amp and started strumming. "I can't find my friend Lancey." Paul sang. "He's with Kitty and Colossus smacked him silly."
"You should sing that song when he's here." Xi laughed. Lance and Pietro walked in, looking like they had the best day ever. "Speak of the devil."
"Hey guys." Paul waved. "Check out this song I wrote." Paul started strumming. "I can't find my friend Lance...He's with Kitty and Colossus smacked him silly..."
"I hate you, Paul. I really hate you." Lance grumbled. Craig smirked.
"My brother has a talent for getting on people's nerves."
"Not my fault I don't want to get involved with your whole 'X-Men sucks' bit." Paul stated. "Besides, you guys hated each other way before me and my brother came along."
"Yeah." Craig concurred. "Your problems with the X-Men are strictly yours. Leave us out of it." Hawk entered the clubhouse, looking around with Freddy behind him.
"I can't believe this place is still standing." Hawk smiled. He turned to Fred. "You kids must really like this place."
"Yeah." Fred smiled. "Love it."
"Hey General!" The Misfits all greeted.
"So, what are you kids discussing this time? The chances of creating world peace with cheese?"
"That was last week." Lance told the general. "We figured cheddar could do the job best."
"Anyway, I got something more interesting for you to talk about." Hawk handed a note to Xi.
"Hmmm...Left-most window, highest floor, highest building." The snake-like mutant read. "Strange."
"Very vague, but what could it mean?" Pietro scratched his head.
"Well, the tallest building in the world is...uh...What's it called again? Extended Enterprises?"
"Extensive Enterprises, Paul." Blob corrected. "Cobra owns that building."
"Yeah." Craig growled, his eye flashing. "Tomax and Xamot are the twins in charge. We've wanted a chance to tussle with those two Crimson Guard clowns again, right Paul?"
"Yeah. They failed to realize how great a superstar I am, brother. They also underestimated the fact you were willing to scare the bejesus out of a secretary to get to them." Paul laughed. "They're jealous because we're the better-looking set of twins."
"And because one of you can speak a whole sentence by yourself." Scarlet Witch quipped. Craig nodded his head in agreement.
"Paul, you'd better get off that pool table before it breaks." Hawk told the self-proclaimed superstar. Starchild, with a whine, got off and leapt on the couch. "Well, if this involves Extensive..."
You want us to check it out." Lance deduced. "We might as well."
"Try not to make the building tumble down Lance." Craig smirked.
"Bite me, Darkstar." Lance grumbled.
"Let's go!" Althea and the other Misfits got up. Later on, they were at the foot of the Extensive Enterprises building.
"Tell me something." Paul looked over at the other Misfits.
"Yeah?" Freddy asked.
"What does Extensive Enterprises have to do with cheese?" Paul scratched his head. Craig yelled.
"I HATE YOU GUYS!!! CHEESE THIS, CHEESE THAT!!!" Craig yelled.
"Oh stop whining, ya big baby!" Pietro laughed.
"Look who's talkin'!" Lance moaned.
"Can we please go inside, Honey?" Toad asked Althea. She shrugged.
"Why not?" Wavedancer grinned. The Starr brothers immediately ran in first, wanting another shot at the Crimson Guard twins.
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The Crimson Guard twins' office was a wreck. Books were thrown everywhere. The potted plants were uprooted. Their walls had some laser burns and a couple holes in them. The desks looked like someone was smashed through them. The twins themselves didn't look much better. Their semi-long black hair was mussed up. Their fancy suits, matching in every detail, including golden necklaces, were tattered. They looked like they had gotten into a brawl with a wild animal and lost. Standing over them was Destro, Cobra Commander's right-hand man.
"Alright, you two traitors!" Destro growled. "Who is 'the Viper'?"
"We don't know..." Tomax started.
"...Who or what you're talking about!" Xamot finished. "We know that Cobra Commander hired..."
"...an assassin named Viper to eliminate the mutant Joes, but..." Tomax continued.
"...We have no idea about the base or about the failed West Point massacre!" Xamot concluded for his brother.
"Cobra Commander must be plotting behind my back again!" Destro grumbled. "He never listens to a word I say!" He them mused to himself: "The one called Quicksilver maybe an egomaniac himself, but at least he listens to advice!"
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The Misfits walked up to the main lobby, but a security guard was hell-bent on stopping them.
"Sorry kids!" He said. "Company Tours are on Tuesday."
"We've come to speak with your bosses." Wanda said. The guard laughed and tussled her hair. "Don't touch me."
"Do you know who I am?" Paul walked up to the man. "I am the Starchild, star of stage, screen and music! You certainly must've seen me in one of my movies. One of them has this cool action scene, like in Die Hard..."
"No." The guard shook his head.
"How about my songs? You must've heard my newest album..."
"Sorry about him." Althea pulled Paul back. "He thinks he's famous."
"I am famous!" Paul moaned.
"We're on school trip, yo." Toad grinned. The guard eyed them suspiciously.
"In those outfits?"
"What? Ain't seen a school uniform before?" Lance quipped. Craig grumbled.
"Oh enough of this!" Craig looked at the guard. "Try this on!" Craig's right eye flashed, hypnotizing the hapless guard. His eyes glowed a bright purple. "You will let us see your bosses."
"Just take the elevator to the top floor. Go down the hall to a pair of gold ornate doors." The guard gave the Misfits the directions in a monotone voice, typical of victims of the Starr brothers' hypnotic powers. Unfortunately for the Misfits, another guard caught them, and he pointed his gun at them.
"Hold it, mutants!" He cried out. "No way you monsters are gonna see the bosses!" He got knocked out from behind as an invisible Xi made himself visible.
"Xi, how do you do that invisible thing that you do?" Paul grinned in his typical happy-go-lucky manner. Xi shrugged.
"I don't know. I've always been able to do it." The snake-like mutant looked around. "Let's go pay Tomax and Xamot a visit."
"And a beatdown, Starr-style." Craig grinned evilly, staring at his nightstick. However, a third guard caught the mutant heroes and sounded an alarm. Secret panels in the walls opened up, revealing at least 40 troopers.
"Aw man..." Blob sighed. "Here we go again!"
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"What?" Destro turned to a hidden monitor and saw the Misfits. "Those annoying mutants! They're back! How do they do this! Is one of them telepathic!?!?"
"Don't ask us because..." Tomax grumbled.
"...We have mental scramblers." A grinning Xamot held up his necklace.
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The other Misfits hid behind Blob. His invulnerable skin safely protected the Misfits from the trooper's laser fire.
"Blob. The human tank. Gotta love 'im." Paul grinned.
"Blast away, girly men! Your girly lasers cannot hurt me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Blob laughed, impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"You tell 'em, Freddy!" Pietro crowed.
"We can't just hide behind Fred! We gotta attack!" Xi noted. Wanda noticed a sprinkler above the soldiers. She nudged Althea and pointed at it.
"Do it!" Althea ordered.
"You are all girly men!" Blob crowed. One laser grazed his ear. "That tickled!"
"Hey fellas!" Wanda pitched a hexbolt. "Take a shower! You clowns stink!" The hexbolt hit the sprinkler, activating it. "Now, Wavedancer!"
"No problem!" Althea made the water droplets attack the confused troops like a swarm of angry killer bees.
"Girly men must die!" Blob yelled, mowing the troops down.
"Quicksilver, take Starchild and Darkstar to the top floor!" Althea ordered.
"Right! Let's go, guys!" Pietro grabbed the Starr brothers and ran to the top floor using his superhuman speed. As he sped off, one could hear Paul let out a "YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" and Craig get sick. The three boys arrived at the Crimson Guard twins' office. There were six secretaries.
"Hellooooo gorgeous!" Paul leapt on a desk of a pretty blonde woman. "You've been given a great honor. Your presence has just been graced by a superstar." The secretary giggled.
"You have a girlfriend, goofball." Quicksilver pulled Starchild off. "We wanna see your bosses." Craig leaned on a desk, his face bright green.
"They're in the office, handsome." The blonde pointed behind her. Pietro walked to the door, but a fat woman blocked his path.
"Mr. Tomax and Mr. Xamot have an appointment. They don't want to be disturbed."
"We're the appointment, ma'am." Paul grinned, catching the woman off-guard with his hypnotic powers. Another secretary screamed.
"They're mutants! They're gonna kill us all!" She screamed. The secretaries ran off, except for the blonde one Paul was hitting on earlier.
"Nah." She shook her head. "He's too sweet to do that." The blonde got up and ran away giggling.
"Why does everyone think all we mutants think about is killing people?" Paul wondered. Pietro glared at Starchild.
"I hate you." Pietro said. Paul laughed.
"Jealous? I am just as good a womanizer as you, Maxie."
"You have a girlfriend!" Pietro snapped. "What would Tabitha say?!?"
"She wouldn't care." Paul shrugged. A sickly moan from Craig ended the argument. "Let's go in there, kick some butt, then get Craig to a bathroom."
"Okay." Pietro agreed. He motioned to the locked doors. "Paul?"
"No prob." Paul waved. He fired a purple laser from his right eye. The laser cut a hole around the knobs, making them fall off. Pietro then forced the doors open with a mighty kick.
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"What the--?" Destro exclaimed as Quicksilver kicked the door down.
"Hey guys!" He laughed evilly. "Looks like we found some snakes."
"Time to de-fang these suckers." Paul's eye glowed. Destro, Tomax, and Xamot pulled out guns and pointed them at the mutants.
"I do not think so." The metal-masked man smirked. A green-faced Craig staggered into the room, and did something shocking: He staggered up to Destro and puked all over him.
"EEEEEEEYUCK!!!! I just had this uniform dry-cleaned!!!" Destro cried out in a disgusted manner. The Crimson Guard twins, Paul, and Pietro cringed. Then they started laughing as Craig fell on his face. "What's so funny?!?!?!"
"It's not too often..." Tomax laughed.
"...You see something..." Xamot cackled.
"THAT HILARIOUS!!!" They cried out together, clutching their sides in laughter.
"Fools." Destro muttered.
"Hey Metalhead!" Destro turned around. When his eyes met Paul's, Starchild's eye flashed in an attempt to use his hypnotic powers. The metal- masked right-hand man merely smirked.
"I know of your hypnotic powers, little boy." Destro smirked. "I know techniques for resisting hypnosis."
"Aw man..." Paul sighed.
"We're dead." Pietro grumbled.
"Wait!" Paul remembered. "Before you kill us Metalhead, I gotta ask you. Do you know anything about the Viper?"
"Like he'll answer." Pietro sighed.
"Hmmph." Destro sneered. "Only honorable to answer your final question. Neither I nor the twins over there know anything. Anyway, time to die." Destro pointed his blaster at Paul, but Quicksilver, using his speed, elbowed Destro in the face and grabbed his blaster. Tomax and Xamot started firing their blasters.
"Let's get outta here!" Pietro picked up a moaning Craig. Paul nodded.
"Right!" Paul fired his laser, blasting the gun out of Tomax's hand. The pain caused Xamot to drop his weapon. Pietro kicked Xamot in the jaw, knocking both twins out. Paul looked at Destro. "Say cheese, Metal Man!" Paul's eye flashed, blinding him temporarily. "By the way, thanks for the info. Let's go, Pietro!"
"Yeah!" Quicksilver agreed. The three heroes got out of the ruined office as Destro and the Crimson Guard twins made their escape. The Misfits quickly regrouped.
"Where have you all been..." Pietro trailed off as he saw the bodies of the Cobra troopers.
"Beating up Cobras." Althea smiled, then noticed Craig over Pietro's shoulder. "What happened to Darkstar?"
"Got motion sick."
"It was great!" Paul laughed. "Craig staggered up to Destro and puked all over him!"
"Gross, but entertaining." Wanda smirked, crossing her arms.
"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" The gang burst out laughing.
"My God, that was great!" Lance cackled. Fred shook Craig's head.
"Hey Darkstar, can you puke on Xavier next time?" Craig only responded to Fred with a pained moan.
"Let's get outta here." Toad said. "I think a lot of people are gonna be mad."
"We invade an office building, puke on a terrorist, and cause some mayhem. I think we'll be fine." Wanda shrugged.
"Let's hit the road! Misfits..." Paul pointed to Lance's jeep in a dramatic manner. "To the Misfitmobile!" The mutant heroes quickly made their exit.
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"Another strange note..." The Viper wondered. "I don't know who is sending this information to the Misfits, but it presents me with another opportunity to observe these freaks in action. They don't fully depend upon their powers, unlike most mutants." The shadowed figure then looked at some files, evidently Cobra observations. "I have gathered enough information. The time has come for these savage creatures' lives to end."
Here we go! Looks like the Misfits are gonna finally meet the Viper face-to- face! Will they defeat the Viper, or will the infamous mutant assassin add the Misfits to his list of kills, or will the reformed mutant heroes put an end to his streak of successful mutant assassinations.
Disclaimer: I hate these. Red Witch owns Althea and Xi, the Starrs are mine. GI Joe and the remaining Misfits are owned by other folks and Marvel. To Alison Sky, thanks for the aspirin, but I didn't need it. Owning a Gamecube, N64, Game Boy Advance and PS2 has its advantages. To Celestin, I know about the window wiper bit, but as I said in the first chapter, it evolved into an original adventure, with a real enemy.
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Chapter 4: Building more trouble!
"Ahh, yes." Paul looked at the chess game with glee. "I have you now, Xi. The Force is strong with you, but you cannot withstand the power of the Star Side." Paul grinned, impersonating Darth Vader.
"You must stop hanging around Quick-Kick." Xi examined the chess pieces. He then moved one of his bishops. "Check." Paul moved a rook.
"Not anymore, my friend." Paul smirked, crossing his arms. "Your king will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine." Starchild impersonated Mike Myers as Wayne Campbell. He then switched to Ace Ventura: "You're gonna be a loo-hoo- hoo-serrrr." Xi smiled.
"I don't think so." Xi replied matter-of-factly as he moved a knight. "Checkmate. I win again, Starchild."
"Say whaaaaaaat?!?" Paul leapt up and ran around the board, looking at the pieces in a hyperactive manner. "Now how'd that happen?" He scratched his head in confusion.
"You should work on your strategies instead of your impersonations, Paul." Xi laughed.
"I'll beat you Xi." Paul stared at the board. "One of these days, Xi. One of these days...POW! You're checkmated." Paul mimicked Jackie Gleason.
"You've said that and in 78 games of chess, I have outdone you." Xi smirked. Wanda and Althea ran into the clubhouse, all smiles. "Ladies."
"Hey girls." Paul moped, banging his head on the chessboard.
"Xi whip ya again?" Wanda reasoned.
"78 games, and I still haven't checkmated Snake-dude over here." Paul pointed at Xi. "What're you doin'?"
"We're gonna go shopping." Althea smiled. "Gotta get Wanda something nice for her date."
"Craig isn't gonna like that." Paul sighed. "He doesn't wanna go on this date."
"Yeah." An angry Craig stomped into the clubhouse and leapt on a couch. He laid down, crossed his arms, and muttered. "I am not going shopping with you girls."
"Yes, you are." Althea pointed at him. "You need to get something nice."
"I am not wearing a tuxedo." Craig growled. "They suffocate me."
"You don't wanna wear one because they aren't 'street' wear." Paul interjected.
"I will not dress like a fat rich pig!" Craig exclaimed. "I am a street kid. I will dress like one." Wanda sat down near him.
"You know, you are kinda cute when you pout." Scarlet Witch laughed. A blushing Darkstar pulled up the collar of his jacket and muttered. Althea started laughing.
"Poor, poor Darkstar." She laughed. "Where's Avalanche and Quicksilver?" Paul shrugged.
"I don't know, and I don't care." Craig grumbled. He then looked over at Paul. "Bro, what're you doing?" Paul picked up a beautiful purple guitar with a 5-pointed star-shaped body.
"I'm gonna drown my sorrows in rock." Paul sat down on the pool table, connected it to an amp and started strumming. "I can't find my friend Lancey." Paul sang. "He's with Kitty and Colossus smacked him silly."
"You should sing that song when he's here." Xi laughed. Lance and Pietro walked in, looking like they had the best day ever. "Speak of the devil."
"Hey guys." Paul waved. "Check out this song I wrote." Paul started strumming. "I can't find my friend Lance...He's with Kitty and Colossus smacked him silly..."
"I hate you, Paul. I really hate you." Lance grumbled. Craig smirked.
"My brother has a talent for getting on people's nerves."
"Not my fault I don't want to get involved with your whole 'X-Men sucks' bit." Paul stated. "Besides, you guys hated each other way before me and my brother came along."
"Yeah." Craig concurred. "Your problems with the X-Men are strictly yours. Leave us out of it." Hawk entered the clubhouse, looking around with Freddy behind him.
"I can't believe this place is still standing." Hawk smiled. He turned to Fred. "You kids must really like this place."
"Yeah." Fred smiled. "Love it."
"Hey General!" The Misfits all greeted.
"So, what are you kids discussing this time? The chances of creating world peace with cheese?"
"That was last week." Lance told the general. "We figured cheddar could do the job best."
"Anyway, I got something more interesting for you to talk about." Hawk handed a note to Xi.
"Hmmm...Left-most window, highest floor, highest building." The snake-like mutant read. "Strange."
"Very vague, but what could it mean?" Pietro scratched his head.
"Well, the tallest building in the world is...uh...What's it called again? Extended Enterprises?"
"Extensive Enterprises, Paul." Blob corrected. "Cobra owns that building."
"Yeah." Craig growled, his eye flashing. "Tomax and Xamot are the twins in charge. We've wanted a chance to tussle with those two Crimson Guard clowns again, right Paul?"
"Yeah. They failed to realize how great a superstar I am, brother. They also underestimated the fact you were willing to scare the bejesus out of a secretary to get to them." Paul laughed. "They're jealous because we're the better-looking set of twins."
"And because one of you can speak a whole sentence by yourself." Scarlet Witch quipped. Craig nodded his head in agreement.
"Paul, you'd better get off that pool table before it breaks." Hawk told the self-proclaimed superstar. Starchild, with a whine, got off and leapt on the couch. "Well, if this involves Extensive..."
You want us to check it out." Lance deduced. "We might as well."
"Try not to make the building tumble down Lance." Craig smirked.
"Bite me, Darkstar." Lance grumbled.
"Let's go!" Althea and the other Misfits got up. Later on, they were at the foot of the Extensive Enterprises building.
"Tell me something." Paul looked over at the other Misfits.
"Yeah?" Freddy asked.
"What does Extensive Enterprises have to do with cheese?" Paul scratched his head. Craig yelled.
"I HATE YOU GUYS!!! CHEESE THIS, CHEESE THAT!!!" Craig yelled.
"Oh stop whining, ya big baby!" Pietro laughed.
"Look who's talkin'!" Lance moaned.
"Can we please go inside, Honey?" Toad asked Althea. She shrugged.
"Why not?" Wavedancer grinned. The Starr brothers immediately ran in first, wanting another shot at the Crimson Guard twins.
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The Crimson Guard twins' office was a wreck. Books were thrown everywhere. The potted plants were uprooted. Their walls had some laser burns and a couple holes in them. The desks looked like someone was smashed through them. The twins themselves didn't look much better. Their semi-long black hair was mussed up. Their fancy suits, matching in every detail, including golden necklaces, were tattered. They looked like they had gotten into a brawl with a wild animal and lost. Standing over them was Destro, Cobra Commander's right-hand man.
"Alright, you two traitors!" Destro growled. "Who is 'the Viper'?"
"We don't know..." Tomax started.
"...Who or what you're talking about!" Xamot finished. "We know that Cobra Commander hired..."
"...an assassin named Viper to eliminate the mutant Joes, but..." Tomax continued.
"...We have no idea about the base or about the failed West Point massacre!" Xamot concluded for his brother.
"Cobra Commander must be plotting behind my back again!" Destro grumbled. "He never listens to a word I say!" He them mused to himself: "The one called Quicksilver maybe an egomaniac himself, but at least he listens to advice!"
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The Misfits walked up to the main lobby, but a security guard was hell-bent on stopping them.
"Sorry kids!" He said. "Company Tours are on Tuesday."
"We've come to speak with your bosses." Wanda said. The guard laughed and tussled her hair. "Don't touch me."
"Do you know who I am?" Paul walked up to the man. "I am the Starchild, star of stage, screen and music! You certainly must've seen me in one of my movies. One of them has this cool action scene, like in Die Hard..."
"No." The guard shook his head.
"How about my songs? You must've heard my newest album..."
"Sorry about him." Althea pulled Paul back. "He thinks he's famous."
"I am famous!" Paul moaned.
"We're on school trip, yo." Toad grinned. The guard eyed them suspiciously.
"In those outfits?"
"What? Ain't seen a school uniform before?" Lance quipped. Craig grumbled.
"Oh enough of this!" Craig looked at the guard. "Try this on!" Craig's right eye flashed, hypnotizing the hapless guard. His eyes glowed a bright purple. "You will let us see your bosses."
"Just take the elevator to the top floor. Go down the hall to a pair of gold ornate doors." The guard gave the Misfits the directions in a monotone voice, typical of victims of the Starr brothers' hypnotic powers. Unfortunately for the Misfits, another guard caught them, and he pointed his gun at them.
"Hold it, mutants!" He cried out. "No way you monsters are gonna see the bosses!" He got knocked out from behind as an invisible Xi made himself visible.
"Xi, how do you do that invisible thing that you do?" Paul grinned in his typical happy-go-lucky manner. Xi shrugged.
"I don't know. I've always been able to do it." The snake-like mutant looked around. "Let's go pay Tomax and Xamot a visit."
"And a beatdown, Starr-style." Craig grinned evilly, staring at his nightstick. However, a third guard caught the mutant heroes and sounded an alarm. Secret panels in the walls opened up, revealing at least 40 troopers.
"Aw man..." Blob sighed. "Here we go again!"
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"What?" Destro turned to a hidden monitor and saw the Misfits. "Those annoying mutants! They're back! How do they do this! Is one of them telepathic!?!?"
"Don't ask us because..." Tomax grumbled.
"...We have mental scramblers." A grinning Xamot held up his necklace.
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The other Misfits hid behind Blob. His invulnerable skin safely protected the Misfits from the trooper's laser fire.
"Blob. The human tank. Gotta love 'im." Paul grinned.
"Blast away, girly men! Your girly lasers cannot hurt me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Blob laughed, impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"You tell 'em, Freddy!" Pietro crowed.
"We can't just hide behind Fred! We gotta attack!" Xi noted. Wanda noticed a sprinkler above the soldiers. She nudged Althea and pointed at it.
"Do it!" Althea ordered.
"You are all girly men!" Blob crowed. One laser grazed his ear. "That tickled!"
"Hey fellas!" Wanda pitched a hexbolt. "Take a shower! You clowns stink!" The hexbolt hit the sprinkler, activating it. "Now, Wavedancer!"
"No problem!" Althea made the water droplets attack the confused troops like a swarm of angry killer bees.
"Girly men must die!" Blob yelled, mowing the troops down.
"Quicksilver, take Starchild and Darkstar to the top floor!" Althea ordered.
"Right! Let's go, guys!" Pietro grabbed the Starr brothers and ran to the top floor using his superhuman speed. As he sped off, one could hear Paul let out a "YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" and Craig get sick. The three boys arrived at the Crimson Guard twins' office. There were six secretaries.
"Hellooooo gorgeous!" Paul leapt on a desk of a pretty blonde woman. "You've been given a great honor. Your presence has just been graced by a superstar." The secretary giggled.
"You have a girlfriend, goofball." Quicksilver pulled Starchild off. "We wanna see your bosses." Craig leaned on a desk, his face bright green.
"They're in the office, handsome." The blonde pointed behind her. Pietro walked to the door, but a fat woman blocked his path.
"Mr. Tomax and Mr. Xamot have an appointment. They don't want to be disturbed."
"We're the appointment, ma'am." Paul grinned, catching the woman off-guard with his hypnotic powers. Another secretary screamed.
"They're mutants! They're gonna kill us all!" She screamed. The secretaries ran off, except for the blonde one Paul was hitting on earlier.
"Nah." She shook her head. "He's too sweet to do that." The blonde got up and ran away giggling.
"Why does everyone think all we mutants think about is killing people?" Paul wondered. Pietro glared at Starchild.
"I hate you." Pietro said. Paul laughed.
"Jealous? I am just as good a womanizer as you, Maxie."
"You have a girlfriend!" Pietro snapped. "What would Tabitha say?!?"
"She wouldn't care." Paul shrugged. A sickly moan from Craig ended the argument. "Let's go in there, kick some butt, then get Craig to a bathroom."
"Okay." Pietro agreed. He motioned to the locked doors. "Paul?"
"No prob." Paul waved. He fired a purple laser from his right eye. The laser cut a hole around the knobs, making them fall off. Pietro then forced the doors open with a mighty kick.
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"What the--?" Destro exclaimed as Quicksilver kicked the door down.
"Hey guys!" He laughed evilly. "Looks like we found some snakes."
"Time to de-fang these suckers." Paul's eye glowed. Destro, Tomax, and Xamot pulled out guns and pointed them at the mutants.
"I do not think so." The metal-masked man smirked. A green-faced Craig staggered into the room, and did something shocking: He staggered up to Destro and puked all over him.
"EEEEEEEYUCK!!!! I just had this uniform dry-cleaned!!!" Destro cried out in a disgusted manner. The Crimson Guard twins, Paul, and Pietro cringed. Then they started laughing as Craig fell on his face. "What's so funny?!?!?!"
"It's not too often..." Tomax laughed.
"...You see something..." Xamot cackled.
"THAT HILARIOUS!!!" They cried out together, clutching their sides in laughter.
"Fools." Destro muttered.
"Hey Metalhead!" Destro turned around. When his eyes met Paul's, Starchild's eye flashed in an attempt to use his hypnotic powers. The metal- masked right-hand man merely smirked.
"I know of your hypnotic powers, little boy." Destro smirked. "I know techniques for resisting hypnosis."
"Aw man..." Paul sighed.
"We're dead." Pietro grumbled.
"Wait!" Paul remembered. "Before you kill us Metalhead, I gotta ask you. Do you know anything about the Viper?"
"Like he'll answer." Pietro sighed.
"Hmmph." Destro sneered. "Only honorable to answer your final question. Neither I nor the twins over there know anything. Anyway, time to die." Destro pointed his blaster at Paul, but Quicksilver, using his speed, elbowed Destro in the face and grabbed his blaster. Tomax and Xamot started firing their blasters.
"Let's get outta here!" Pietro picked up a moaning Craig. Paul nodded.
"Right!" Paul fired his laser, blasting the gun out of Tomax's hand. The pain caused Xamot to drop his weapon. Pietro kicked Xamot in the jaw, knocking both twins out. Paul looked at Destro. "Say cheese, Metal Man!" Paul's eye flashed, blinding him temporarily. "By the way, thanks for the info. Let's go, Pietro!"
"Yeah!" Quicksilver agreed. The three heroes got out of the ruined office as Destro and the Crimson Guard twins made their escape. The Misfits quickly regrouped.
"Where have you all been..." Pietro trailed off as he saw the bodies of the Cobra troopers.
"Beating up Cobras." Althea smiled, then noticed Craig over Pietro's shoulder. "What happened to Darkstar?"
"Got motion sick."
"It was great!" Paul laughed. "Craig staggered up to Destro and puked all over him!"
"Gross, but entertaining." Wanda smirked, crossing her arms.
"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" The gang burst out laughing.
"My God, that was great!" Lance cackled. Fred shook Craig's head.
"Hey Darkstar, can you puke on Xavier next time?" Craig only responded to Fred with a pained moan.
"Let's get outta here." Toad said. "I think a lot of people are gonna be mad."
"We invade an office building, puke on a terrorist, and cause some mayhem. I think we'll be fine." Wanda shrugged.
"Let's hit the road! Misfits..." Paul pointed to Lance's jeep in a dramatic manner. "To the Misfitmobile!" The mutant heroes quickly made their exit.
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"Another strange note..." The Viper wondered. "I don't know who is sending this information to the Misfits, but it presents me with another opportunity to observe these freaks in action. They don't fully depend upon their powers, unlike most mutants." The shadowed figure then looked at some files, evidently Cobra observations. "I have gathered enough information. The time has come for these savage creatures' lives to end."
Here we go! Looks like the Misfits are gonna finally meet the Viper face-to- face! Will they defeat the Viper, or will the infamous mutant assassin add the Misfits to his list of kills, or will the reformed mutant heroes put an end to his streak of successful mutant assassinations.