By trivia_game
Summary: Years of peace have been achieved, but Duo is still holding onto the past. Now, he's writing letters to the pilot formerly known as 01. Angsty, if I did my job right, dark, yaoi, 1x2, a couple light mentions of lime (heavier in later chapters, probably).
Disclaimer: Not mine, and you better hope it never is, or else the little kiddies (think about the 10-year-old boys who are actually **supposed** to watch the show!) will be traumatized.
Note-ness: This fic was partially inspired by the heart-wrenching lesbian book "Annie on my mind." Forgot who it's by. Good book, I started crying ;_;
You,
I have no name for you. I've called you Heero, 01, and just forgotten your name altogether when words didn't matter. Why did you write to me? It's gotten so routine for me to write every other night to you—and it's already been two weeks. But I couldn't reply this time for so long, knowing you were reading these letters. I cried. I'm crying right now—you can probably see the streaks of ink across the page, but I don't care. I'm sending this to you. It's the fourth letter tonight, early in the morning. Do you know how much it hurts to cry? Do you have any idea? Have you ever cried? How about crying after you've gone for years, years of war and pain and death, swearing to yourself you'd never cry? Do you know what that feels like?
Who am I kidding? You may call yourself "Heero" now, but you know sure as fuck that you're still the Perfect Soldier. Knowing that you have the nerve to write me back after three years makes me ill. I don't want the Perfect Soldier writing to me.
And yet I'm still hoping for you to answer this letter. I confuse myself sometimes.
The knowledge that I'm addicted to those very words I've wished lately that I hadn't read—it hurts more than hearing from you ever did. I want to hear them from you. I want to hear you say them from your own lips, and at the same time I want you to shut up and get out of my life. There's a part of me shrieking "leave me alone to rot" and someone else inside me saying in this tiny voice, "don't let me go—don't leave again." They're both so potent, so rich and dangerous and agonizing to listen to. God, Heero, I love you and I hate you, but most of all I need you. Whether or not I could ever see you the same way again, whether or not you'd ever give a fuck about me…I need you. I need to see you.
I need to know I'm not the only one like me—a ghost.
From the pilot formerly known as 02
…Or Duo.
Sooooo…meh, that took a while to write, despite the shortness of it all. I can't figure out Heero though. He frustrates me.
As always, please review, I want to hear what you think! This won't be a very professional thing to ask, but can you see Heero writing as much as Duo tends to? He's probably got a lot to say, but how much do you think he would reveal?