Double Double Desire and Trouble
By Rhea
Part Seven
Luke flipped a switch using the force and the holoprojector hummed again, and returned his attention to the desert planet on the three dimensional image. The projector went dark suddenly. The Janus probe was probably destroyed. These imagining devices were extremely unpopular on some worlds, particularly on Tatooine. He smiled ruefully to himself. Luke, himself, had shot down at least two when he was growing up.
He thought about their mission, about the Sith lord that tried to stop them, and about the shape shifter that had assumed his form. Luke wanted to talked to Yoda and get more guidance, but somehow he knew that was impossible. He thought about Ben Kenobi, but knew that he had passed beyond his reach. For a moment, he felt like a farm boy again, longing to know what was out there and frustrated that the knowledge was denied him. He thought these feelings would be gone for good the moment he shook the sands of Tatooine off his boots.
He turned around to leave and stopped when he caught a glimpse red-gold hair. Mara had her back to him. She was seated in an alcove almost completely hidden from view by a large globe of Janus. She stared sightlessly at a blank holoprompt requesting input.
Mara's thoughts were in a tangle, her emotions even worse. She had ducked into this secluded corner of the Observatory in an attempt to find a place where she could think. A place where Skywalker would not find her. She tried to sort through the events of the past few months. Nothing that involved Skywalker was ever simple or easy. She remembered last night. Her heart sped up at the very thought of him. Her skin tingled and she ached in places that she did not even know she had muscles. The connection between them was growing ever stronger, and she both reveled and dreaded this strengthening bond. Mara could feel him with her even now.
She quickly realized that he was standing just outside the alcove. She reinforced her shields, not ready to expose her vulnerability. Mara's back was rigid and her heart hammered nervously within her breast. She quickly keyed in a planet and pretended to be engrossed in studying the display swirling before her, not ready to face him yet.
"Mara?" Luke stepped tentatively into the alcove. Mara looked up and felt a guilty flush spread across her face.
"Skywalker." She responded a little more coolly than she intended.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a conference?" He moved methodically closer and sat across from her so that they could gaze at the display, but still see face to face.
Luke could sense a flash of frustration through the force. "Yes, but I've had enough of this. Karrde can send someone else. I'm through." Mara's face had returned to a more normal color.
He smiled slightly. "I see. So you left the conference prematurely and came in here to study the ice planes of Hoth."
Mara glanced at the white swirling planet spinning before her with a start. Had she actually asked to display that frozen wasteland?
"How long have you been here, Mara?" Luke asked, his voice was as smooth as Corellian ale. Mara dragged her gaze away from the abandoned world to meet the Jedi's gaze.
"I don't know. An hour, maybe two." She replied softly. She lowered her eyes and watched with great interest as she twined and untwined her fingers. She was cold although it was temperate in the Observatory. Luke slid closer to her, took her grasped hands, and caressed them. Her first impulse was to tell him to stop, but the words would not issue from her mouth.
Mara slowly raised her eyes. It moved from his tanned hands gently holding hers, traveling up his traditional Jedi uniform with a small square cut out at the base of his neck. Her eyes slowed to inspect the cleft in his chin and his slightly parted lips. She could see the faint evidence of old scars across his cheek and was caught in the brilliant blue of his eyes. He watched her unwaveringly, his expression shuttered. She tried to sense him, but encountered an impenetrable barrier.
"How do I know it's really you, Mara."
"What?" She asked, startled. She tried to pull her hands out of his grasp, but he held on tightly.
"You say that you've been here for more than an hour, but I just talked to you in the main Observatory just a few minutes ago."
Mara sat upright. She immediately understood what had happened. "The Imposter."
"You're not the only one who can be fooled." Luke agreed.
Mara felt a swift rage, wondering what the shape shifter had done. "That wasn't me. I went to the conference then came to this alcove to think. This is the first time that I've seen you since . . . this morning."
Luke nodded. "But how can I be sure its you?"
After a slight pause, Mara said, "Anger, Fear, Aggression, A colorful wardrobe, the dark side are they."
"There goes the last of my doubt." Luke replied wryly.
"Turn about is fair play. What about you?"
Luke thought for a moment and then said, "You are a prisoner to your past. You have the potential to be a great Jedi, but you fear losing yourself if you commit to the training."
Mara opened her mouth to argue and then said, "Ok. No one but the real Luke Skywalker could say that and really mean it like you do."
Luke was not sure if that was a compliment or an insult.
"So our shape shifter was masquerading as me?" Mara asked.
"Yep, and I gave her the code."
"You did what?!"
"I gave her the decrypt code."
Mara sighed and then said, "Where did the shape shifter go?"
"Now that our spy has the information that he has been seeking, I think we've seen the last of him."
Mara nodded and then asked unable to prevent herself "And you thought this imposter was me."
"I did . . . at first." A slight smile was cresting the edges of his mouth.
A sly look crossed her face. "What exactly does this code do?"
"The message that Artoo retried on Androden was essentially a series of coordinates. I sent a copy of the encrypted message to Leia. I wanted to make sure that she would have the information so that she could arrange for additional security at the location. So, Ghent re-encrypted the message with a multilayered encrypt. He knew that it was very likely that someone would try to intercept the message and attempt to break his code. So, being the expert slicer, he decided to give them something to decrypt."
Mara nodded her head in understanding, a smile stretching across her face, "With false information."
"Right."
"So what are the false coordinates."
"The inside of a Sarlaac pit on Tatooine."
Mara started laughing, her face turning red, as she held her stomach in an attempt to stop the ache that had begun to form there.
Luke joined her in the laughter. He wheezed, "Mara you've got to breath!"
"Oh Luke." She collapsed on him, the laugher beginning to die away.
When their laughter faded, they were left smiling, their faces so close their noses were almost touching. Their eyes locked and they remained gazing at each other for a long moment. They shifted minutely closer.
"Excuse me, Are you using that holoprojector?"
They turned and saw an older man dressed in a dingy flight suit, a beard many days old lining his jaw. He looked at them expectantly.
"We're done here." Mara replied and rose to her feet. Luke smiled politely to the man and followed Mara out of the alcove. He watched her, feeling the distance widen between them on more than a physical level.
"Wait up." He said and jogged to close the length between them. "Where are you going?"
"To get my stuff. I want to get the Fire ready for departure."
The conference had ended and the Observatory was filling with attendees. Seeing them, Mara said fiercely, "Let's go." She did not want to get caught in a discussion with one of her associates.
They left. Luke knew they needed to clear the air between them, and the more time that passed the harder it would be, but he knew that this was not the place for such a discussion.
"I'll get my stuff and meet you at the Fire." Mara said to the Jedi.
"We have a few hours before we can get clearance to leave. The Coronet is still high in the sky."
"And let our imposter get a head start? I'm not going to ask for clearance, and I'm not worried about navigating past the planetary rings." They had left the Observatory and were walking in an elevated hallway lined with windows. They had a spectacular view of the mountains and the rings moving like a strip of rocky clouds across the sky. They paused for a moment to gaze at the sight. One small rock impacted with the planetary shield, making the sky flash an electric green for a second before the rogue satellite disintegrated.
"What about the shield?" Luke asked.
Mara was silent for a moment and then said, "I think we can fly around it."
Luke looked dubiously at her, and then he realized that she was trying to avoid prolonged contact with him. The Jedi gazed at her. Mara met his gaze and then turned away. "You're running away."
She glared at him. "I am not." She resumed walking down the hallway, her paced slowed after a few steps and then she turned to regard him. "Am I?"
"Last night . . ."
"Was a mistake. I know." Mara finished for him.
Luke reeled back, a hurt look crossing his features before he regained his composure.
". . .was the most wonderful experience of my life." Luke finished.
"Oh." Mara said, her voice small and contrite.
"Do you think it was a mistake?" Luke asked, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him. She could feel his anger. His eyebrows were drawn together and his face was tense. The grip on her arm bordered on painful.
"Let go of me." She pulled her arm from his grasp and he released her arm. He exhaled heavily. Luke turned and stormed away.
"Luke." She called after him, but he did not turn around.
She cursed herself. Why hadn't she told him the truth? Mara walked slowly to her suite. When she was there she began to methodically pack her belongings. She shoved the metallic object that she had taken from the Sith on Andronden. She crammed it into her pocket. Maybe it was better this way, but she felt as if her heart was breaking. Mara was not sure she could ever be a Jedi, and he deserved to be with someone more suited for him. They had passion, and even a fragile force bond, but she could not picture the Emperor's Hand with the Jedi Master. Even as she said these things to herself, she knew the real truth. The truth that she avoided facing. She was afraid. Mara Jade did not fall in love. A little voice in the back of her head laughed at her. 'Ah, but you did' it mocked, and she felt her stomach flip when she thought of Skywalker.
She sat heavily on the bed, buried her face in her hands, and wept silently.
Luke slumped back on the couch in his suite. A part of him was tempted to let Mara leave without him, but the hurt and anger faded quickly and he knew he was reacting emotionally. It would do nothing to repair their relationship.
He tried unsuccessfully to meditate and then gave up, turning instead to the manual task of packing his belongings. He tried to recall what he had done to drive her away. Luke's thoughts immediately turned to the events of the evening. It had been good between them. Force, it had been extraordinary. He smiled ruefully. He could not get himself to actually regret making love to Mara, but he conceded that perhaps they had let passion rule them. They had formed no commitment, had never verbalized any deeper emotions than friendship.
They had the flight back to Coruscant ahead of them. Perhaps, they could amend their rift en route. Luke decided that he might have pushed Mara, and they had moved too fast. Maybe it was best if he stepped back and gave her some space. If they just slowed down, took their time to become more comfortable with their new closeness, Mara might grow to love him. His spirits buoyed by this new thought, his dark mood vanished as his natural optimism filled him with new resolve.
The Jedi finished, slung his packed bag over his shoulder and left his suite. There was a marked energy to his step that had been lacking just a moment before.
Mara washed her face, changed her clothes, and emptied her suite. She stood in front of her ship. Mara punched in the entry code and the ramp lowered on the Jade's Fire. R2D2 greeted her at the entrance way. Mara was vaguely surprised and secretly amused that the little droid was there.
"I hope you haven't been making modifications to my ship while I've been gone." She teased the astromech droid.
Artoo made an indignant noise and Mara laughed despite herself.
"Artoo's would never do that, would you?" Luke said as he stepped into the ship behind her. Mara swore silently. She had hoped to have a little more time to prepare herself before seeing him again.
The droid was silent for a moment as if considering, then made a decisive noise. Neither of them were sure if that was an agreement or not.
They regarded each other silently. Then Mara said reluctantly, "About what I said earlier. . . ."
"It's okay, Mara. I understand." Luke said.
"No, let me finish." Mara continued.
Luke nodded.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She said.
"I know." The Jedi replied. This comment made the tension ease out of her shoulders.
"Come on. Let's get you settled." Mara led him to the back of the ship. The Jade's Fire had two cabins in the rear. Mara used the main cabin as her sleeping quarters. It had the only 'fresher on board. The other had a bunk, and was used as a storage compartment when she was the only person on ship. Luke stowed his bag next to the utilitarian bunk he had used on their previous journey.
Mara watched in silence, her heart aching. The Jedi seemed remote. After their fight, he seemed to have retreated into his Jedi Master mode. She missed the more relaxed atmosphere of this morning. Mara returned to the cockpit of the ship and was surprised to see that they had received authorization for departure.
"What the . . ." she said.
Luke joined her in the cockpit and settled into the co-pilot's seat. "I put in a request for clearance."
Mara smiled reluctantly at the Jedi. "You didn't use your Jedi Mind tricks on the duty officer, did you?"
Luke flushed slightly and started to lay in their course, not meeting her eye.
"Luke!"
"Well, I thought it was better than a warrant for our arrest." He said, plaintively.
Her green eyes twinkled and she said, "You're headed right towards the Dark side."
"You think so?" There was genuine concern in his voice. A lock of dark blond hair had fallen across his forehead and was almost in his eyes.
Without thinking, Mara reached forward and brushed it back. "I was just kidding, Skywalker." He grabbed her hand, holding it against his face. She felt suddenly exposed, vulnerable. Her adrenalin spiked and her breath became shallow.
Her reaction was not lost on the Jedi and he started to lean towards her. She was sure that he intended to kiss her but for some reason he reared back and only smiled at her. "We had better get going."
She pulled herself back to reality with great reluctance and said, "You're right." She closed the hatch and contacted Janus central control.
Before she had even finished her request they interrupted with, "Planetary shield lowering, Jade's Fire, you are cleared for take off."
She raised an eyebrow, shot a look at the Jedi.
Skywalker just gave a small smile.
"Thank you. Jade's Fire out." She cut the connection. "Handy thing, that mind trick."
"I could teach it to you." Luke said hopefully.
She was about to rebuff him, and then said, "I'll think about it."
Luke smiled more broadly.
The ship gracefully rose into the air and exited the atmosphere. The shield was quickly restored behind them, trapping them between the Coronet and the energy barrier. Mara skillfully worked the controls maneuvering around the rings, deftly avoiding the debris. Luke watched her with admiration. There were not many people he would trust to pilot them past a planetary ring. Soon, they were beyond the planet and the deadly rocks.
R2D2 whistled in relief. Luke set the hyperspace coordinates and when the ready light illuminated, he threw the lever. The star lines elongated and disappeared. Despite the ease of their escape from the planet, Mara slumped in the pilot's chair. Luke ached to hold her again, instead, he watched her hungrily, unable to deny his desire for the red haired woman despite his resolve.
His need flared through their force bond, catching the couple unaware. Mara gasped and swiveled in her chair to face Luke. The Jedi silently swore to himself, berating his lack of control. He closed his eyes and Mara suddenly understood the reason for his aloof behavior. Luke was giving her a choice, the liberty to walk away.
She slid out of the chair and knelt beside him. Mara was aware of her fear of their growing attachment. She was never one to allow fear to rule her.
She took his hand, his artificial right hand, and entreated, "Luke."
He opened his eyes. When he saw the open expression in her eyes and experienced the raw emotion emanating through their bond, he grew weak. Moisture gathered in his eyes and he felt as if his heart would expand and burst his chest. He slid out of the chair to kneel with her on the deck.
"Oh, Mara." He gathered her up in his arms and they held each other quietly for a long time. The sound of their even breathing and the faint beeps of the ship's computers filled the silence. Luke was afraid to move, for fear of breaking the moment. Mara remained still, not knowing what to say. She began to caress his back.
Luke pulled back and held her face. He peered deeply into her eyes and said, "What we have is very special, Mara. I know that you can feel it too."
"I'm no good for you, Luke." Mara whispered.
Luke's hands dropped from her face and moved to hold her upper arms. "Is that what you really believe? Is that why you tried to push me away?"
Mara nodded and began to stand. Luke held her still and said, "No, please don't."
She relaxed again.
"You're wrong. I can feel how right we are together, how we are meant for one another." Luke said passionately.
In the presence of his certainty, Mara could feel her doubts drifting away. She closed her eyes and swayed toward the Jedi. Luke sat there, watching her, stretching out with the force. What he felt filled him with joy. A slow smile began to curve her lips and she felt a warmth blossom in her soul. She knew that she loved him, but could not say the words. She met his gaze again.
"It's okay." Luke said, sensing her reticence. "You don't have to say a word. I've had to learn patience the hard way."
She closed the space between them and began to kiss him. Luke's arms wrapped around her and he responded ardently. Warmth pooled in her very core. All thoughts fled her mind and she became sensation. The feel of him against her, his clean, familiar scent making her heady. Luke bent her back until they were lying on the deck between the two cockpit chairs. He drove his fingers through her thick tresses and groaned, deepening the kiss. Their tongues danced and their hips pressed intimately against each other.
The kiss slowed and Luke gently pulled away. He sat up, gazing at her with desire naked in his eyes. They were panting and there was a fine sheen of moisture on his face. Mara lay back wondering if he was pausing to pull off his shirt and then realized that he had stopped. She sat up and ran a hand through her hair in a vain attempt to restore order.
"What is it?" Mara asked.
Luke smiled apologetically. "I want us to get closer, get to know each other better, and I desire you very much right now."
"So what's wrong? I don't understand."
Luke took a deep breath, exerting control over his body. "Whenever we touch, all other thoughts go out of my mind. All I can think of is how much I want you."
Mara inspected him carefully and then she understood. "You're afraid I'm going to run away."
"Are you?"
Mara considered. She took a moment to phrase her answer, knowing that what she said could make or break their relationship. "My life would be empty without you. I've never felt like this with anyone before. No. I won't run." She paused, "What about you."
"I'm not going anywhere." Luke took her hand. "You're my best friend. I care deeply for you. I want to be with you. I think we were meant to be together."
His words both gladdened her heart and made her cringe. "Destiny again?"
"It's something Yoda said." Luke replied almost reluctantly.
Mara raised her head, "Yoda?"
"When he came to us, he said the force is strong in us and in our children. He meant our children, Mara."
Her eyes grew wide and she pulled her hand out of his grasp. She stood up and walked across the small cockpit. She turned to face him. Luke slowly rose to his feet wondering if he had said too much.
"Are you sure? I thought he was speaking generally."
"I don't think so."
Mara nodded unwillingly. It had a sense of rightness to it. She felt as if her head were spinning.
She stretched out with the force, but did not sense anything within her. She was not pregnant.
He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, Mara. I keep telling myself that I'm pushing. I'm moving too fast. And every time I tell myself to give you some room, I do it again."
"Luke," Mara regarded him earnestly, "It's okay. Really. I don't guarantee that you'll always like my reactions, but I don't hold it against you."
The lines of tension eased away from his face and he smiled. "Come on." He moved toward her took her hand. "Let's get something to eat."
"I've never known a time when you weren't hunger, Skywalker." Mara said, good-humoredly.
He waggled his eyebrows at her, "I have quite an appetite." His tone was teasingly suggestive.
"Come on farmboy, Let's take care of at least one of your hungers."
By Rhea
Part Seven
Luke flipped a switch using the force and the holoprojector hummed again, and returned his attention to the desert planet on the three dimensional image. The projector went dark suddenly. The Janus probe was probably destroyed. These imagining devices were extremely unpopular on some worlds, particularly on Tatooine. He smiled ruefully to himself. Luke, himself, had shot down at least two when he was growing up.
He thought about their mission, about the Sith lord that tried to stop them, and about the shape shifter that had assumed his form. Luke wanted to talked to Yoda and get more guidance, but somehow he knew that was impossible. He thought about Ben Kenobi, but knew that he had passed beyond his reach. For a moment, he felt like a farm boy again, longing to know what was out there and frustrated that the knowledge was denied him. He thought these feelings would be gone for good the moment he shook the sands of Tatooine off his boots.
He turned around to leave and stopped when he caught a glimpse red-gold hair. Mara had her back to him. She was seated in an alcove almost completely hidden from view by a large globe of Janus. She stared sightlessly at a blank holoprompt requesting input.
Mara's thoughts were in a tangle, her emotions even worse. She had ducked into this secluded corner of the Observatory in an attempt to find a place where she could think. A place where Skywalker would not find her. She tried to sort through the events of the past few months. Nothing that involved Skywalker was ever simple or easy. She remembered last night. Her heart sped up at the very thought of him. Her skin tingled and she ached in places that she did not even know she had muscles. The connection between them was growing ever stronger, and she both reveled and dreaded this strengthening bond. Mara could feel him with her even now.
She quickly realized that he was standing just outside the alcove. She reinforced her shields, not ready to expose her vulnerability. Mara's back was rigid and her heart hammered nervously within her breast. She quickly keyed in a planet and pretended to be engrossed in studying the display swirling before her, not ready to face him yet.
"Mara?" Luke stepped tentatively into the alcove. Mara looked up and felt a guilty flush spread across her face.
"Skywalker." She responded a little more coolly than she intended.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a conference?" He moved methodically closer and sat across from her so that they could gaze at the display, but still see face to face.
Luke could sense a flash of frustration through the force. "Yes, but I've had enough of this. Karrde can send someone else. I'm through." Mara's face had returned to a more normal color.
He smiled slightly. "I see. So you left the conference prematurely and came in here to study the ice planes of Hoth."
Mara glanced at the white swirling planet spinning before her with a start. Had she actually asked to display that frozen wasteland?
"How long have you been here, Mara?" Luke asked, his voice was as smooth as Corellian ale. Mara dragged her gaze away from the abandoned world to meet the Jedi's gaze.
"I don't know. An hour, maybe two." She replied softly. She lowered her eyes and watched with great interest as she twined and untwined her fingers. She was cold although it was temperate in the Observatory. Luke slid closer to her, took her grasped hands, and caressed them. Her first impulse was to tell him to stop, but the words would not issue from her mouth.
Mara slowly raised her eyes. It moved from his tanned hands gently holding hers, traveling up his traditional Jedi uniform with a small square cut out at the base of his neck. Her eyes slowed to inspect the cleft in his chin and his slightly parted lips. She could see the faint evidence of old scars across his cheek and was caught in the brilliant blue of his eyes. He watched her unwaveringly, his expression shuttered. She tried to sense him, but encountered an impenetrable barrier.
"How do I know it's really you, Mara."
"What?" She asked, startled. She tried to pull her hands out of his grasp, but he held on tightly.
"You say that you've been here for more than an hour, but I just talked to you in the main Observatory just a few minutes ago."
Mara sat upright. She immediately understood what had happened. "The Imposter."
"You're not the only one who can be fooled." Luke agreed.
Mara felt a swift rage, wondering what the shape shifter had done. "That wasn't me. I went to the conference then came to this alcove to think. This is the first time that I've seen you since . . . this morning."
Luke nodded. "But how can I be sure its you?"
After a slight pause, Mara said, "Anger, Fear, Aggression, A colorful wardrobe, the dark side are they."
"There goes the last of my doubt." Luke replied wryly.
"Turn about is fair play. What about you?"
Luke thought for a moment and then said, "You are a prisoner to your past. You have the potential to be a great Jedi, but you fear losing yourself if you commit to the training."
Mara opened her mouth to argue and then said, "Ok. No one but the real Luke Skywalker could say that and really mean it like you do."
Luke was not sure if that was a compliment or an insult.
"So our shape shifter was masquerading as me?" Mara asked.
"Yep, and I gave her the code."
"You did what?!"
"I gave her the decrypt code."
Mara sighed and then said, "Where did the shape shifter go?"
"Now that our spy has the information that he has been seeking, I think we've seen the last of him."
Mara nodded and then asked unable to prevent herself "And you thought this imposter was me."
"I did . . . at first." A slight smile was cresting the edges of his mouth.
A sly look crossed her face. "What exactly does this code do?"
"The message that Artoo retried on Androden was essentially a series of coordinates. I sent a copy of the encrypted message to Leia. I wanted to make sure that she would have the information so that she could arrange for additional security at the location. So, Ghent re-encrypted the message with a multilayered encrypt. He knew that it was very likely that someone would try to intercept the message and attempt to break his code. So, being the expert slicer, he decided to give them something to decrypt."
Mara nodded her head in understanding, a smile stretching across her face, "With false information."
"Right."
"So what are the false coordinates."
"The inside of a Sarlaac pit on Tatooine."
Mara started laughing, her face turning red, as she held her stomach in an attempt to stop the ache that had begun to form there.
Luke joined her in the laughter. He wheezed, "Mara you've got to breath!"
"Oh Luke." She collapsed on him, the laugher beginning to die away.
When their laughter faded, they were left smiling, their faces so close their noses were almost touching. Their eyes locked and they remained gazing at each other for a long moment. They shifted minutely closer.
"Excuse me, Are you using that holoprojector?"
They turned and saw an older man dressed in a dingy flight suit, a beard many days old lining his jaw. He looked at them expectantly.
"We're done here." Mara replied and rose to her feet. Luke smiled politely to the man and followed Mara out of the alcove. He watched her, feeling the distance widen between them on more than a physical level.
"Wait up." He said and jogged to close the length between them. "Where are you going?"
"To get my stuff. I want to get the Fire ready for departure."
The conference had ended and the Observatory was filling with attendees. Seeing them, Mara said fiercely, "Let's go." She did not want to get caught in a discussion with one of her associates.
They left. Luke knew they needed to clear the air between them, and the more time that passed the harder it would be, but he knew that this was not the place for such a discussion.
"I'll get my stuff and meet you at the Fire." Mara said to the Jedi.
"We have a few hours before we can get clearance to leave. The Coronet is still high in the sky."
"And let our imposter get a head start? I'm not going to ask for clearance, and I'm not worried about navigating past the planetary rings." They had left the Observatory and were walking in an elevated hallway lined with windows. They had a spectacular view of the mountains and the rings moving like a strip of rocky clouds across the sky. They paused for a moment to gaze at the sight. One small rock impacted with the planetary shield, making the sky flash an electric green for a second before the rogue satellite disintegrated.
"What about the shield?" Luke asked.
Mara was silent for a moment and then said, "I think we can fly around it."
Luke looked dubiously at her, and then he realized that she was trying to avoid prolonged contact with him. The Jedi gazed at her. Mara met his gaze and then turned away. "You're running away."
She glared at him. "I am not." She resumed walking down the hallway, her paced slowed after a few steps and then she turned to regard him. "Am I?"
"Last night . . ."
"Was a mistake. I know." Mara finished for him.
Luke reeled back, a hurt look crossing his features before he regained his composure.
". . .was the most wonderful experience of my life." Luke finished.
"Oh." Mara said, her voice small and contrite.
"Do you think it was a mistake?" Luke asked, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him. She could feel his anger. His eyebrows were drawn together and his face was tense. The grip on her arm bordered on painful.
"Let go of me." She pulled her arm from his grasp and he released her arm. He exhaled heavily. Luke turned and stormed away.
"Luke." She called after him, but he did not turn around.
She cursed herself. Why hadn't she told him the truth? Mara walked slowly to her suite. When she was there she began to methodically pack her belongings. She shoved the metallic object that she had taken from the Sith on Andronden. She crammed it into her pocket. Maybe it was better this way, but she felt as if her heart was breaking. Mara was not sure she could ever be a Jedi, and he deserved to be with someone more suited for him. They had passion, and even a fragile force bond, but she could not picture the Emperor's Hand with the Jedi Master. Even as she said these things to herself, she knew the real truth. The truth that she avoided facing. She was afraid. Mara Jade did not fall in love. A little voice in the back of her head laughed at her. 'Ah, but you did' it mocked, and she felt her stomach flip when she thought of Skywalker.
She sat heavily on the bed, buried her face in her hands, and wept silently.
Luke slumped back on the couch in his suite. A part of him was tempted to let Mara leave without him, but the hurt and anger faded quickly and he knew he was reacting emotionally. It would do nothing to repair their relationship.
He tried unsuccessfully to meditate and then gave up, turning instead to the manual task of packing his belongings. He tried to recall what he had done to drive her away. Luke's thoughts immediately turned to the events of the evening. It had been good between them. Force, it had been extraordinary. He smiled ruefully. He could not get himself to actually regret making love to Mara, but he conceded that perhaps they had let passion rule them. They had formed no commitment, had never verbalized any deeper emotions than friendship.
They had the flight back to Coruscant ahead of them. Perhaps, they could amend their rift en route. Luke decided that he might have pushed Mara, and they had moved too fast. Maybe it was best if he stepped back and gave her some space. If they just slowed down, took their time to become more comfortable with their new closeness, Mara might grow to love him. His spirits buoyed by this new thought, his dark mood vanished as his natural optimism filled him with new resolve.
The Jedi finished, slung his packed bag over his shoulder and left his suite. There was a marked energy to his step that had been lacking just a moment before.
Mara washed her face, changed her clothes, and emptied her suite. She stood in front of her ship. Mara punched in the entry code and the ramp lowered on the Jade's Fire. R2D2 greeted her at the entrance way. Mara was vaguely surprised and secretly amused that the little droid was there.
"I hope you haven't been making modifications to my ship while I've been gone." She teased the astromech droid.
Artoo made an indignant noise and Mara laughed despite herself.
"Artoo's would never do that, would you?" Luke said as he stepped into the ship behind her. Mara swore silently. She had hoped to have a little more time to prepare herself before seeing him again.
The droid was silent for a moment as if considering, then made a decisive noise. Neither of them were sure if that was an agreement or not.
They regarded each other silently. Then Mara said reluctantly, "About what I said earlier. . . ."
"It's okay, Mara. I understand." Luke said.
"No, let me finish." Mara continued.
Luke nodded.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She said.
"I know." The Jedi replied. This comment made the tension ease out of her shoulders.
"Come on. Let's get you settled." Mara led him to the back of the ship. The Jade's Fire had two cabins in the rear. Mara used the main cabin as her sleeping quarters. It had the only 'fresher on board. The other had a bunk, and was used as a storage compartment when she was the only person on ship. Luke stowed his bag next to the utilitarian bunk he had used on their previous journey.
Mara watched in silence, her heart aching. The Jedi seemed remote. After their fight, he seemed to have retreated into his Jedi Master mode. She missed the more relaxed atmosphere of this morning. Mara returned to the cockpit of the ship and was surprised to see that they had received authorization for departure.
"What the . . ." she said.
Luke joined her in the cockpit and settled into the co-pilot's seat. "I put in a request for clearance."
Mara smiled reluctantly at the Jedi. "You didn't use your Jedi Mind tricks on the duty officer, did you?"
Luke flushed slightly and started to lay in their course, not meeting her eye.
"Luke!"
"Well, I thought it was better than a warrant for our arrest." He said, plaintively.
Her green eyes twinkled and she said, "You're headed right towards the Dark side."
"You think so?" There was genuine concern in his voice. A lock of dark blond hair had fallen across his forehead and was almost in his eyes.
Without thinking, Mara reached forward and brushed it back. "I was just kidding, Skywalker." He grabbed her hand, holding it against his face. She felt suddenly exposed, vulnerable. Her adrenalin spiked and her breath became shallow.
Her reaction was not lost on the Jedi and he started to lean towards her. She was sure that he intended to kiss her but for some reason he reared back and only smiled at her. "We had better get going."
She pulled herself back to reality with great reluctance and said, "You're right." She closed the hatch and contacted Janus central control.
Before she had even finished her request they interrupted with, "Planetary shield lowering, Jade's Fire, you are cleared for take off."
She raised an eyebrow, shot a look at the Jedi.
Skywalker just gave a small smile.
"Thank you. Jade's Fire out." She cut the connection. "Handy thing, that mind trick."
"I could teach it to you." Luke said hopefully.
She was about to rebuff him, and then said, "I'll think about it."
Luke smiled more broadly.
The ship gracefully rose into the air and exited the atmosphere. The shield was quickly restored behind them, trapping them between the Coronet and the energy barrier. Mara skillfully worked the controls maneuvering around the rings, deftly avoiding the debris. Luke watched her with admiration. There were not many people he would trust to pilot them past a planetary ring. Soon, they were beyond the planet and the deadly rocks.
R2D2 whistled in relief. Luke set the hyperspace coordinates and when the ready light illuminated, he threw the lever. The star lines elongated and disappeared. Despite the ease of their escape from the planet, Mara slumped in the pilot's chair. Luke ached to hold her again, instead, he watched her hungrily, unable to deny his desire for the red haired woman despite his resolve.
His need flared through their force bond, catching the couple unaware. Mara gasped and swiveled in her chair to face Luke. The Jedi silently swore to himself, berating his lack of control. He closed his eyes and Mara suddenly understood the reason for his aloof behavior. Luke was giving her a choice, the liberty to walk away.
She slid out of the chair and knelt beside him. Mara was aware of her fear of their growing attachment. She was never one to allow fear to rule her.
She took his hand, his artificial right hand, and entreated, "Luke."
He opened his eyes. When he saw the open expression in her eyes and experienced the raw emotion emanating through their bond, he grew weak. Moisture gathered in his eyes and he felt as if his heart would expand and burst his chest. He slid out of the chair to kneel with her on the deck.
"Oh, Mara." He gathered her up in his arms and they held each other quietly for a long time. The sound of their even breathing and the faint beeps of the ship's computers filled the silence. Luke was afraid to move, for fear of breaking the moment. Mara remained still, not knowing what to say. She began to caress his back.
Luke pulled back and held her face. He peered deeply into her eyes and said, "What we have is very special, Mara. I know that you can feel it too."
"I'm no good for you, Luke." Mara whispered.
Luke's hands dropped from her face and moved to hold her upper arms. "Is that what you really believe? Is that why you tried to push me away?"
Mara nodded and began to stand. Luke held her still and said, "No, please don't."
She relaxed again.
"You're wrong. I can feel how right we are together, how we are meant for one another." Luke said passionately.
In the presence of his certainty, Mara could feel her doubts drifting away. She closed her eyes and swayed toward the Jedi. Luke sat there, watching her, stretching out with the force. What he felt filled him with joy. A slow smile began to curve her lips and she felt a warmth blossom in her soul. She knew that she loved him, but could not say the words. She met his gaze again.
"It's okay." Luke said, sensing her reticence. "You don't have to say a word. I've had to learn patience the hard way."
She closed the space between them and began to kiss him. Luke's arms wrapped around her and he responded ardently. Warmth pooled in her very core. All thoughts fled her mind and she became sensation. The feel of him against her, his clean, familiar scent making her heady. Luke bent her back until they were lying on the deck between the two cockpit chairs. He drove his fingers through her thick tresses and groaned, deepening the kiss. Their tongues danced and their hips pressed intimately against each other.
The kiss slowed and Luke gently pulled away. He sat up, gazing at her with desire naked in his eyes. They were panting and there was a fine sheen of moisture on his face. Mara lay back wondering if he was pausing to pull off his shirt and then realized that he had stopped. She sat up and ran a hand through her hair in a vain attempt to restore order.
"What is it?" Mara asked.
Luke smiled apologetically. "I want us to get closer, get to know each other better, and I desire you very much right now."
"So what's wrong? I don't understand."
Luke took a deep breath, exerting control over his body. "Whenever we touch, all other thoughts go out of my mind. All I can think of is how much I want you."
Mara inspected him carefully and then she understood. "You're afraid I'm going to run away."
"Are you?"
Mara considered. She took a moment to phrase her answer, knowing that what she said could make or break their relationship. "My life would be empty without you. I've never felt like this with anyone before. No. I won't run." She paused, "What about you."
"I'm not going anywhere." Luke took her hand. "You're my best friend. I care deeply for you. I want to be with you. I think we were meant to be together."
His words both gladdened her heart and made her cringe. "Destiny again?"
"It's something Yoda said." Luke replied almost reluctantly.
Mara raised her head, "Yoda?"
"When he came to us, he said the force is strong in us and in our children. He meant our children, Mara."
Her eyes grew wide and she pulled her hand out of his grasp. She stood up and walked across the small cockpit. She turned to face him. Luke slowly rose to his feet wondering if he had said too much.
"Are you sure? I thought he was speaking generally."
"I don't think so."
Mara nodded unwillingly. It had a sense of rightness to it. She felt as if her head were spinning.
She stretched out with the force, but did not sense anything within her. She was not pregnant.
He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, Mara. I keep telling myself that I'm pushing. I'm moving too fast. And every time I tell myself to give you some room, I do it again."
"Luke," Mara regarded him earnestly, "It's okay. Really. I don't guarantee that you'll always like my reactions, but I don't hold it against you."
The lines of tension eased away from his face and he smiled. "Come on." He moved toward her took her hand. "Let's get something to eat."
"I've never known a time when you weren't hunger, Skywalker." Mara said, good-humoredly.
He waggled his eyebrows at her, "I have quite an appetite." His tone was teasingly suggestive.
"Come on farmboy, Let's take care of at least one of your hungers."