A.N: For the record (and after much pestering) there is going to be a lemon sometime in this story. Yes, I may have to grit my teeth to keep from screaming but I will write this damned lemon. *mutters* Now all I have to do is pay more attention in Health and read a lot more. X_X
Paradoxical: *snicker* Innocent.
Firefly-chan: ;_; Not true!
Rank and File
Chapter Thirteen
By Firefly-chan
"Bastard."
"Smartass."
"Asshole."
"Idiot."
"Abusive jerk."
"Submissive slut."
Gasp. "You take that back!"
Sneer. "Make me, bishonen."
And this was basically how my conversation with Kai went during my little run-in with him on Saturday morning. Y'know, I was doing what I usually do every Saturday...just going for a walk to try and clear my head. I really wasn't expecting to run into him (literally) when I was getting bottled water at a little cafe. But, yeah, there he was. Asshole-ish-like as ever.
"Son of a bitch," I growled, poking him roughly in the shoulder as I brushed past him. "I told you I was never going to talk to you again and I meant it."
He turned, watching me start towards the exit of the cafe. "And like that's my problem?" He sounded incredulous. "You're the one, if I may remind you, who started calling me names in the first place."
"Yeah, well," I glanced over my shoulder, sniffing, "that doesn't mean you have to respond."
I was out of the cafe in less then a second so I didn't give him much time to respond. I ran a hand through my hair and turned the corner, starting back towards my house. What was really the point of walking any longer? Kai had already ruined my morning for me. The cynical bastard was always ruining things for me.
I rolled the water battle between the palms of my hand, brushing the brick wall of a building as I turned another corner. I bit down on my bottom lip, thinking over a few things. Nothing really in particular. Just thinking, okay? Anyway, I must've gotten two or three blocks when I came to a dead stop, realizing I had forgotten my sweatshirt back at the cafe.
Why must these things always happen to me?
"Shit," I muttered, twisting the cap of my water bottle.
"Forget something?" I flinched upon hearing that familiar smooth, cool voice.
Slowly, I turned around, glaring at the blue-haired annoyance only a few feet from me. I snatched my sweatshirt from his hands. "Yeah, whatever," I glared at him one last time and started to turn again but he caught my arm.
I rolled my eyes when he forced me to turn back to him. "Really, Kai," I began, placing a hand on my hip, "we've got to stop meeting like this."
"Would you really want that?" He raised an inquiring eyebrow, almost taunting. "I don't think you do."
"You don't know what I think," I growled, wrenching my arm from his grasp and stepping away from him.
"Oh, but you know what I think, Tyson?" Kai took an ominous step towards me, drawing me back one. "I think you're afraid of me."
I lowered my gaze to meet his. "I'm not afraid of you, Kai," I whispered, but firm enough so he could hear it.
"Why said so weak?" He asked delicately, taking another step. "You don't sound sure."
"Oh, I'm sure," I eyed him warily, stepping back again.
"I don't think you are," Kai took one last step to me, backing me up between the two corners of a few buildings. "I think you're afraid of me but you're too damn stubborn to admit it."
I pressed the pads of my fingers against the rough brick behind me, swallowing nervously. Why was he doing this? 'He's doing this on purpose,' I thought bitterly. 'He's trying to make you uncomfortable.'
Well, he was doing a pretty damn good job at it.
"Why won't you leave me alone?" I murmured miserably, casting my gaze to the side of me.
"Because I know you don't want to be left alone," He replied just as soft, crooking a finger under my chin and focusing my gaze back to his eyes. "You don't--I know you more then you think."
He lowered his head but right before he kissed me, I placed a finger to his lips, closing my eyes again. "Kai," The name seemed hard to pronounce, "Kai, you may think you know me but you don't." I rested my hand on his shoulder, pushing him away. "No one does."
He blinked, seeming genuinely surprised. Sighing, he turned his back on me. But right before I thought he was about to walk off, he spoke, "Tyson, why do you always insist on doing things the hard way?"
He spun so quickly I didn't have time to react as he shoved me back into the wall, pinning his arm over my chest to keep me from moving. "You don't get a choice," He stated, voice low. "I've said it before, and I will continue to say it until you realize this. I have you. There's nothing you can do. But still you continue to rebel. So, I question you, my little bishonen. Why? Why exactly is it you just love to piss me off? Why are you so determined to see my downfall?"
I stared at him for a long time.
I didn't speak, I didn't move. I just stared at him.
"Why?" Finally, my voice spoke, crackling slightly with shock. "You ask me why? Alright, I'll tell you why. Because it's there, Kai. It's always been there but you're just too damn blind to see it. I do it because I don't like you. I do it because I want to, because I can, and most of all I do it because I really don't know how I should feel around you."
I looked away from him, bitterly glaring at the wall. "Yes, I'm afraid of you, okay? I'm afraid because I know you're right. I know I can't do anything no matter how I try. I know, Kai. Okay? I know. Happy?"
There was another long silence.
"Then why do you have to fight me?" He whispered, brushing a lock of hair from my eyes. "I wouldn't do this, you know that, right? But you get me so frustrated."
"I told you, I don't give a shit about you, Kai," I hissed, snapping my gaze back to his. "That's why I fight it."
"Hmm," He brushed his lips against my forehead, sending a fiery jolt up my spine. There was that feeling again. That same damned feeling of being embraced by an icy, bitter wind. God, I hated that feeling.
"I think you're lying to yourself," He trailed a finger down the side of my face, and for some reason I couldn't pull away. "You need me as much as I want you."
I felt another shiver run down my back at those words. I wasn't going to swallow my pride, I wasn't going to stop hating him because he wanted me to or believed I didn't. But I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just stood there.
"I can't help it, Tyson," He whispered, lowering his head closer to mine. "I can't help it anymore."
He softly brushed his lips against mine, pressing the palm of his hand against my face. I closed my eyes again, not being able to respond or revolt to anything he was doing. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I move?
But I could move. I was just afraid that if I did, I might collapse.
Somehow though, I managed to find my voice. I jerked my head back softly, turning my face away again. "You may not be able to help it, Kai, but I can." I pushed him away again. "It's not my problem or fault on how you feel about me."
"It is your fault, Tyson," He snapped, pressing his hand on my shoulder and bringing me back again. "It's your fault entirely. From the first moment I saw you, I hated you. You know what? That hasn't changed. I still hate you. But I can't help wanting you, alright? It's this determination inside of me that won't go away. You might be able to live with that, but I can't."
"I don't care," The tone of my voice was bordering dangerously low, and I attempted to shove him away again. "Must I repeat myself? I don't care. It's your problem. You're the one who has to deal with it, not me. So don't drag me into this, Kai, because I don't want to have anything to do with it."
He didn't move. Pressing his body against mine, he buried his face in the crook of my neck. "You don't understand." He muttered, lightly kissing my neck. "You set me afire and you're not going anywhere until you put it out."
"Stop it," I groaned, trying to move away from him but he had me in a firm grip.
"Don't," He pressed a finger to my lips. "Don't talk. Not around me. Not now." He then let his hand drop, replacing his finger with his own mouth.
Sliding his arm around my waist, he pulled me away from the wall and closer to him. Using his free hand, he tilted my chin up to get a better hold of my lips. It wasn't like the other times he had kissed me. It was different somehow. Softer. Gentler.
He pulled away slightly, but not far enough so his lips were still touching mine. "I can't help it," A whisper.
Kiss.
"It won't go away."
Kiss.
"It'll never go away."
Kiss.
"I want you and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me."
This time, he roughly brought me into another kiss. Kai pressed his hand against the small of my back and forced my mouth open so his tongue could gain access. I let him. I didn't know what else to do. It seemed hard for my brain to comprehend what the hell was happening and I just froze.
And he kissed me. Desperately. Angrily. Bitterly.
Yet I still made no movement.
Harder. Deeper. Longer.
I was still...it was hard.
Rough. Dark. Wanting. Loving.
Silence.
It's still hard.
Push. Fall. Trip. Cry.
Why can't I move?
Passion. Hope. Loss. Fear.
"I-I," My voice emerged then. I don't know how but it did. "I can't--I won't. Never."
Fear.
"Just leave me," More whispers from my mouth but from a voice that didn't sound like mine. "Leave me alone."
Fear.
"I can't leave you alone," He was looking at me seriously, but held a tight grip around my waist. "I refuse to."
Fear.
"You have to," Miserable. I was utterly miserable. "You have to because I will never feel the same way you do. You have to because if you ever lay another finger on me again, I will kill you."
It's always been fear.
He released me and took a step back. But I couldn't read the emotions he held on his face because it was completely blank. Taking in a deep, trembling breath, I circled around him and out of the alley.
It'll always be fear.
End Chapter Thirteen.
End Notes: O.o Well, this chapter certainly was dramatic. *snicker* Muaha.
Paradoxical: -_-; Evil.
Firefly-chan: Yeah. =P Er, review?
Paradoxical: *snicker* Innocent.
Firefly-chan: ;_; Not true!
Rank and File
Chapter Thirteen
By Firefly-chan
"Bastard."
"Smartass."
"Asshole."
"Idiot."
"Abusive jerk."
"Submissive slut."
Gasp. "You take that back!"
Sneer. "Make me, bishonen."
And this was basically how my conversation with Kai went during my little run-in with him on Saturday morning. Y'know, I was doing what I usually do every Saturday...just going for a walk to try and clear my head. I really wasn't expecting to run into him (literally) when I was getting bottled water at a little cafe. But, yeah, there he was. Asshole-ish-like as ever.
"Son of a bitch," I growled, poking him roughly in the shoulder as I brushed past him. "I told you I was never going to talk to you again and I meant it."
He turned, watching me start towards the exit of the cafe. "And like that's my problem?" He sounded incredulous. "You're the one, if I may remind you, who started calling me names in the first place."
"Yeah, well," I glanced over my shoulder, sniffing, "that doesn't mean you have to respond."
I was out of the cafe in less then a second so I didn't give him much time to respond. I ran a hand through my hair and turned the corner, starting back towards my house. What was really the point of walking any longer? Kai had already ruined my morning for me. The cynical bastard was always ruining things for me.
I rolled the water battle between the palms of my hand, brushing the brick wall of a building as I turned another corner. I bit down on my bottom lip, thinking over a few things. Nothing really in particular. Just thinking, okay? Anyway, I must've gotten two or three blocks when I came to a dead stop, realizing I had forgotten my sweatshirt back at the cafe.
Why must these things always happen to me?
"Shit," I muttered, twisting the cap of my water bottle.
"Forget something?" I flinched upon hearing that familiar smooth, cool voice.
Slowly, I turned around, glaring at the blue-haired annoyance only a few feet from me. I snatched my sweatshirt from his hands. "Yeah, whatever," I glared at him one last time and started to turn again but he caught my arm.
I rolled my eyes when he forced me to turn back to him. "Really, Kai," I began, placing a hand on my hip, "we've got to stop meeting like this."
"Would you really want that?" He raised an inquiring eyebrow, almost taunting. "I don't think you do."
"You don't know what I think," I growled, wrenching my arm from his grasp and stepping away from him.
"Oh, but you know what I think, Tyson?" Kai took an ominous step towards me, drawing me back one. "I think you're afraid of me."
I lowered my gaze to meet his. "I'm not afraid of you, Kai," I whispered, but firm enough so he could hear it.
"Why said so weak?" He asked delicately, taking another step. "You don't sound sure."
"Oh, I'm sure," I eyed him warily, stepping back again.
"I don't think you are," Kai took one last step to me, backing me up between the two corners of a few buildings. "I think you're afraid of me but you're too damn stubborn to admit it."
I pressed the pads of my fingers against the rough brick behind me, swallowing nervously. Why was he doing this? 'He's doing this on purpose,' I thought bitterly. 'He's trying to make you uncomfortable.'
Well, he was doing a pretty damn good job at it.
"Why won't you leave me alone?" I murmured miserably, casting my gaze to the side of me.
"Because I know you don't want to be left alone," He replied just as soft, crooking a finger under my chin and focusing my gaze back to his eyes. "You don't--I know you more then you think."
He lowered his head but right before he kissed me, I placed a finger to his lips, closing my eyes again. "Kai," The name seemed hard to pronounce, "Kai, you may think you know me but you don't." I rested my hand on his shoulder, pushing him away. "No one does."
He blinked, seeming genuinely surprised. Sighing, he turned his back on me. But right before I thought he was about to walk off, he spoke, "Tyson, why do you always insist on doing things the hard way?"
He spun so quickly I didn't have time to react as he shoved me back into the wall, pinning his arm over my chest to keep me from moving. "You don't get a choice," He stated, voice low. "I've said it before, and I will continue to say it until you realize this. I have you. There's nothing you can do. But still you continue to rebel. So, I question you, my little bishonen. Why? Why exactly is it you just love to piss me off? Why are you so determined to see my downfall?"
I stared at him for a long time.
I didn't speak, I didn't move. I just stared at him.
"Why?" Finally, my voice spoke, crackling slightly with shock. "You ask me why? Alright, I'll tell you why. Because it's there, Kai. It's always been there but you're just too damn blind to see it. I do it because I don't like you. I do it because I want to, because I can, and most of all I do it because I really don't know how I should feel around you."
I looked away from him, bitterly glaring at the wall. "Yes, I'm afraid of you, okay? I'm afraid because I know you're right. I know I can't do anything no matter how I try. I know, Kai. Okay? I know. Happy?"
There was another long silence.
"Then why do you have to fight me?" He whispered, brushing a lock of hair from my eyes. "I wouldn't do this, you know that, right? But you get me so frustrated."
"I told you, I don't give a shit about you, Kai," I hissed, snapping my gaze back to his. "That's why I fight it."
"Hmm," He brushed his lips against my forehead, sending a fiery jolt up my spine. There was that feeling again. That same damned feeling of being embraced by an icy, bitter wind. God, I hated that feeling.
"I think you're lying to yourself," He trailed a finger down the side of my face, and for some reason I couldn't pull away. "You need me as much as I want you."
I felt another shiver run down my back at those words. I wasn't going to swallow my pride, I wasn't going to stop hating him because he wanted me to or believed I didn't. But I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just stood there.
"I can't help it, Tyson," He whispered, lowering his head closer to mine. "I can't help it anymore."
He softly brushed his lips against mine, pressing the palm of his hand against my face. I closed my eyes again, not being able to respond or revolt to anything he was doing. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I move?
But I could move. I was just afraid that if I did, I might collapse.
Somehow though, I managed to find my voice. I jerked my head back softly, turning my face away again. "You may not be able to help it, Kai, but I can." I pushed him away again. "It's not my problem or fault on how you feel about me."
"It is your fault, Tyson," He snapped, pressing his hand on my shoulder and bringing me back again. "It's your fault entirely. From the first moment I saw you, I hated you. You know what? That hasn't changed. I still hate you. But I can't help wanting you, alright? It's this determination inside of me that won't go away. You might be able to live with that, but I can't."
"I don't care," The tone of my voice was bordering dangerously low, and I attempted to shove him away again. "Must I repeat myself? I don't care. It's your problem. You're the one who has to deal with it, not me. So don't drag me into this, Kai, because I don't want to have anything to do with it."
He didn't move. Pressing his body against mine, he buried his face in the crook of my neck. "You don't understand." He muttered, lightly kissing my neck. "You set me afire and you're not going anywhere until you put it out."
"Stop it," I groaned, trying to move away from him but he had me in a firm grip.
"Don't," He pressed a finger to my lips. "Don't talk. Not around me. Not now." He then let his hand drop, replacing his finger with his own mouth.
Sliding his arm around my waist, he pulled me away from the wall and closer to him. Using his free hand, he tilted my chin up to get a better hold of my lips. It wasn't like the other times he had kissed me. It was different somehow. Softer. Gentler.
He pulled away slightly, but not far enough so his lips were still touching mine. "I can't help it," A whisper.
Kiss.
"It won't go away."
Kiss.
"It'll never go away."
Kiss.
"I want you and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me."
This time, he roughly brought me into another kiss. Kai pressed his hand against the small of my back and forced my mouth open so his tongue could gain access. I let him. I didn't know what else to do. It seemed hard for my brain to comprehend what the hell was happening and I just froze.
And he kissed me. Desperately. Angrily. Bitterly.
Yet I still made no movement.
Harder. Deeper. Longer.
I was still...it was hard.
Rough. Dark. Wanting. Loving.
Silence.
It's still hard.
Push. Fall. Trip. Cry.
Why can't I move?
Passion. Hope. Loss. Fear.
"I-I," My voice emerged then. I don't know how but it did. "I can't--I won't. Never."
Fear.
"Just leave me," More whispers from my mouth but from a voice that didn't sound like mine. "Leave me alone."
Fear.
"I can't leave you alone," He was looking at me seriously, but held a tight grip around my waist. "I refuse to."
Fear.
"You have to," Miserable. I was utterly miserable. "You have to because I will never feel the same way you do. You have to because if you ever lay another finger on me again, I will kill you."
It's always been fear.
He released me and took a step back. But I couldn't read the emotions he held on his face because it was completely blank. Taking in a deep, trembling breath, I circled around him and out of the alley.
It'll always be fear.
End Chapter Thirteen.
End Notes: O.o Well, this chapter certainly was dramatic. *snicker* Muaha.
Paradoxical: -_-; Evil.
Firefly-chan: Yeah. =P Er, review?