A.N: -_- Ugh, I'm sorry, but I decided against writing the lemon. I really don't want to get my fic deleted so y'know. I couldn't do it. ;_; I'm a wimp. I will, though, more than likely have a lime or something. O.o But, eh, this chapter is very dramatic. VERY dramatic. And emotional. o.o;
Rank and File
Chapter Nineteen
By Firefly-chan
Lo and behold, I awaken.
Well, kind of.
I glanced around me groggily, noting that my head hurt like hell. I couldn't really see -anything- in my surroundings because it was so dark. All I could figure out through my haze of sleep, was that I was tied to a heavy, uncomfortable chair. Oh, and lets not forget I was gagged. Yes, bound and gagged. Lovely.
I tugged at the ropes around my wrist, wincing when it cut into my flesh. Oh yes. When I got my hands on that blue-haired little freak, we were going to have a serious smackdown. I wasn't just pissed anymore. Oh no. I was pissedbeyondfuckinghellatthatstupidpervertedidiot. He would die a veeeery, veeeery slow and painful death. Take note on the veeeery.
You just don't go around and drug people when they're venerable. It's not something sane young men did.
...But of course, Kai never really was very stable up there, was he? Okay, nevermind then.
"KAI!" I yelled, tugging at the bonds again.
Er, well, I would've yelled that if I wasn't gagged and all so it came out more like "AGHI!"
Damn him.
This isn't fair. This is so stupid and incredibly immature. How could that asshole DRUG me and then tie me up in some dark room like I'm his HOSTAGE or something? He can kiss off because whatever the hell he has in mind (which can't be good) I'm not going to go through with it.
Ugh, I hate that guy.
I resisted the urge to scream again, figuring it wouldn't do me any good. The bond muffled my yelling so he really wouldn't be able to hear me. And I don't think he'd particularly care. Just a wild guess, y'know, but someone who does this to other people can't be very considerate of their feelings. Of course, I may be -way- off base here but I have a pretty good feeling that I'm right.
I let out a strangled sigh, settling back against the chair and closing my eyes. It wasn't any use trying to get away when I obviously wasn't going to. My head snapped up really quickly, though, when I head the distinct creak of a door opening and a thin stream of light cutting it's way across the floor. I squinted as Kai quietly slipped inside and shut the door behind him.
Great. Darkness again.
There was a small click and another light flooded the room. I flinched slightly, peering at the blue-haired teen that stood on the other side of the room from me.
Aww, what's the matter Kai? Afraid to approach lil' ol' me?
He just stood there...with his hand on the light switch, doing nothing. I rolled my eyes and glanced around my surroundings. The room was smaller than I originally thought and it had a toffee brown carpet. I was sitting in apparently white chair that clashed rather nicely with the carpet and there was a fireplace to the right side of me and a small bookcase on the other side. I quirked an eyebrow, before resting my gaze back on him.
He was still standing there, staring at me with those impassive eyes and face. It was kind of unnerving.
But yeah, of course I was still pissed at him. But I couldn't really do anything -about- my anger if he just stood there, now could I?
Finally, after a couple more minutes of silence, he pushed himself from the wall and started towards me. Kneeling down slightly, he pulled the gag from my mouth before backing away again. I frowned and ran my tongue over my bottom lip, glaring up at him.
"You really out did yourself this time, didn't you?" I began, shaking my head. "I mean, really. Going to all that trouble drugging me when you had the advantage and binding me on a chair in some dark room. But I have to know; how did you do it? How did you manage to get Panix to beat the living shit out of me and -know- that I'd come crawling to you? *How did you do it*?"
Those last five words came out so venomously and coldly that I think I even took Kai aback. I noticed he was standing before me, tightly clenching his fists and digging his nails into his palms. I raised another eyebrow. Have I hit a nerve?
Smirking, I continued, "Kai, Kai, Kai. I really don't know what to say. And having the guts to bring me in your house with your parents--oh, wait. Your parents are never around, are they? Tell me Kai, where exactly are your parents when your out torturing whoever the hell you please? I -really- want to know."
Kai was on me in a heartbeat.
And I mean literally. He had me pinned up against that chair pretty damn quick and his gaze was locked with mine.
"I live with my mother," he hissed, angry. "My father left us when I was only nine. And my mother is -still- in trauma and she hasn't gotten over it. You know where she is? She's out at some bar drinking. That's what she always does when she's not working. She hasn't spoken three words to me in the past three years! Now tell me Tyson, how does it feel now to have your imperfect life? The one you always complain about? It seems pretty damn fine to me."
He swallowed, pausing for a moment. "You don't know how it is to wake up every morning feeling this emptiness and then going to bed with the same feeling." He gripped at the side's of the chair, and I craned my head back a bit to prevent it from bumping into his. "I'm angry at my father. I'm angry at him for leaving my mother and for leaving me and not even caring."
...For once I really don't have anything to say.
So I did what any normal person would do...
I was silent.
Kai seemed to give me this short, bitter nod and backed away again.
After a moment, I cleared my throat, ripping my gaze from him to the ground. "That's really no explanation for doing this to me, Kai," I said, quietly. "It still doesn't explain--"
"Why I drugged you?" he finished, folding his arms over his chest. I gave a slight nod and he gave the beginning of a caustic smile, "It's simple, really. I was going to handle it in a calmer way but you've really tested my patience tonight, pup."
Both of my eyebrows shot up. Like that. Boom. They were all the way up there.
Great. I piss off the tall guy and drudge up a whole lot of bad memories. You're -so- smart, Tyson.
"You don't scare me, Kai," I said, almost laughing. "We've been doing this little 'exchange' of ours too long for you to be able to scare me. Find a new plan."
He came a little closer again, that weird smile growing a bit. "Who said I was here to scare you? I'm doing this to make you realize something."
...
....
.....
...the fuck?
Before I had a chance to ask him again, he slipped behind my chair and I could feel him working out the knots of my bonds. After a minute or two, the ropes slipped free from my wrists and my hands fell limply to my sides. I rubbed at my sore wrist, red from the rough texture of the rope running against it.
"You look like a deer caught in the headlights," he stated, amused.
Well, I imagined I did. I was confused as hell.
"Kai, I really don't know what you're getting at but--" I started to tell the bastard off when he suddenly cut me off, slipping an arm around my waist and flinging me back against the creme colored wall.
Ouuuuch...! Pain! Lots and lots of miserable pain running through every inch of my body! Ow~ww.
He didn't even waste his time saying anything this time. Kai crushed his lips against mine, entwining his fingers in my hair and yanking my head back a little bit. He violated my mouth; pelting my lips with bruises and small cuts that leaked a little blood. I winced as his grip in my hair tightened and his free hand slipped behind my back, pushing me against him.
"I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much." he whispered when he pulled away, pressing my forehead against his. "And I don't care how long it takes but I'm going to make you love me."
I couldn't really comprehend all the well to what he was saying. My head was spinning and I was finding it increasingly hard to breathe. It was so suffocating in here. His closeness and this small room; I could barely even gasp for air. I slipped down the wall and he went down with me, kissing me again in the process.
"Let me go," I managed out, all though it was barely audible. "Kai, I can't breathe."
I felt him tense a bit and, for that small moment, he loosened his grip. But that was enough time for me. I shot up incredibly fast and was out of that room in about ten seconds flat. Eh, for someone who was having trouble breathing, that's kinda fast. But it just wasn't that. It was him. And what he said. What he was -saying- and what he was -doing-. It was confusing and my head still hadn't slowed.
He loved me?
That's what was racing through my mind when I shoved open the door to his house and stumbled out into the cold, raining night.
How could he love me?
I didn't...I don't understand.
I choked back a sob, and placed a hand over my mouth. God, this was all wrong. He wasn't supposed to love me. That's not how it worked out. I hated him and he was suppose to hate me. That's the way it's been and I thought that was the way it would always be.
Why did he have to go and screw that up?
I limped down his porch, almost clinging to the fence of it. I winced at the feel of the cold rain beating down on my head but it wasn't really where my main concern was. I couldn't really get -any- of my concerns straight. My mind was such a cluttered mess at the moment that it was hard to think of anything.
I raised my head when I saw the edge of the front door open and Kai gazing quietly at me from his place at the doorframe. I shook my head again, swallowing the oncoming tears and spoke, "Don't do this to me, Kai. Tell me this is some kind of joke. Tell me you're just messing with me."
He brushed a strand of hair from his eyes and took a step out of the house and onto the porch. In turn, I pushed myself away from the porch and a couple of stuttering steps backwards onto the cement drive. "It's a realization, Tyson," he said, softly. "Have you begin to even think about it yet?"
"Stop it!" I yelled, making sure he heard me over the roar of lightning that clapped over the sky. "Stop doing this! What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?"
He began down the steps of the porch and I backed away again. "I just want you to say it's true. That you do -love- me."
I was shaking now. Probably so hard that it might've looked like I was having a seizure or break down or something. "You're making this so hard!" I cried, gagging on my own sobs. "Stop lying and just get on with it already! You win, okay! It's over! I'm finished trying to outwit you in this little game of ours, Kai. You win--"
He pounced on me from his position on the stairs, sending me sprawling onto the wet grass with him on top of me. Kai gripped my wrists and pinned them above me head. And even thought I knew it wouldn't do any good, I struggled beneath him. I twisted and turned and did everything to try and get him off of me. But all my attempts failed. He was stronger than me and there was nothing I could do about it.
"You stop," he whispered, biting. "You stop pretending and acting. And for god's sake, stop moving around. I'm not going to hurt you."
So many times he's said that, you realize? And each and every time was a lie.
"Why--why are you...you doing this?" It was hard to talk through my hiccups and cries but I managed to get it out.
He closed his eyes and swallowed again. But something caught my eye through the blue of my own tears...he was crying. Sure, it might've been hard to tell with the rain running down his face but it was unmistakable to see those tears slipping from his eyes.
I've never seen him cry.
He released my wrists to cup the side of my face and run his other hand through my hair. I stopped struggling. I went completely still.
"Because," he murmured, "because I love you."
Oh god, he's still crying.
"And you," He was choking and struggling with his words, "you love me."
"Please stop," I whimpered, shaking worse than ever. "Oh, please just stop."
"N-no, it's true," he said, trying to regain the force in his words but failing. "It's...take this. Stop trying to deny it. I know...you--I love you. And Tyson, I know. I know you love me."
I was scared...no, I was beyond scared. I was terrified. This can't be right. There's no way he can be right. But I could feel it, this little part of me insisting that it was true. And I didn't know where that part came from but I didn't want it there. It wasn't...
It wasn't suppose to be there.
"Please," Kai whispered. "Please...just. Please, Tyson."
Slowly, very slowly, I opened my eyes to meet them with his own. And slowly, very slowly, I stopped crying.
"I'm...it's," I tried to speak but it was hard to get anything out. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do," he said, fervent. "You do. You love me. I love you. Why can't you see that?"
No, I was suppose to hate you, Kai. I was suppose to...hate...you.
But I don't. I never really have. And, realizing this, my whole body tensed upon realizing the next thing...
And very carefully, I whispered, "I love you too."
End Chapter
End Notes: Oh, our poor little confused Tyson has finally figured himself out. ;D You should've seen this coming, folks. All the little clues...all the little things that suggested he might really care about our dear Kai.
Oh yes. I am evil. In a sappy, fluffy kind of way. X_x;
All righty then. Review and I'll get the next chapter out really quickly. ^^;
Rank and File
Chapter Nineteen
By Firefly-chan
Lo and behold, I awaken.
Well, kind of.
I glanced around me groggily, noting that my head hurt like hell. I couldn't really see -anything- in my surroundings because it was so dark. All I could figure out through my haze of sleep, was that I was tied to a heavy, uncomfortable chair. Oh, and lets not forget I was gagged. Yes, bound and gagged. Lovely.
I tugged at the ropes around my wrist, wincing when it cut into my flesh. Oh yes. When I got my hands on that blue-haired little freak, we were going to have a serious smackdown. I wasn't just pissed anymore. Oh no. I was pissedbeyondfuckinghellatthatstupidpervertedidiot. He would die a veeeery, veeeery slow and painful death. Take note on the veeeery.
You just don't go around and drug people when they're venerable. It's not something sane young men did.
...But of course, Kai never really was very stable up there, was he? Okay, nevermind then.
"KAI!" I yelled, tugging at the bonds again.
Er, well, I would've yelled that if I wasn't gagged and all so it came out more like "AGHI!"
Damn him.
This isn't fair. This is so stupid and incredibly immature. How could that asshole DRUG me and then tie me up in some dark room like I'm his HOSTAGE or something? He can kiss off because whatever the hell he has in mind (which can't be good) I'm not going to go through with it.
Ugh, I hate that guy.
I resisted the urge to scream again, figuring it wouldn't do me any good. The bond muffled my yelling so he really wouldn't be able to hear me. And I don't think he'd particularly care. Just a wild guess, y'know, but someone who does this to other people can't be very considerate of their feelings. Of course, I may be -way- off base here but I have a pretty good feeling that I'm right.
I let out a strangled sigh, settling back against the chair and closing my eyes. It wasn't any use trying to get away when I obviously wasn't going to. My head snapped up really quickly, though, when I head the distinct creak of a door opening and a thin stream of light cutting it's way across the floor. I squinted as Kai quietly slipped inside and shut the door behind him.
Great. Darkness again.
There was a small click and another light flooded the room. I flinched slightly, peering at the blue-haired teen that stood on the other side of the room from me.
Aww, what's the matter Kai? Afraid to approach lil' ol' me?
He just stood there...with his hand on the light switch, doing nothing. I rolled my eyes and glanced around my surroundings. The room was smaller than I originally thought and it had a toffee brown carpet. I was sitting in apparently white chair that clashed rather nicely with the carpet and there was a fireplace to the right side of me and a small bookcase on the other side. I quirked an eyebrow, before resting my gaze back on him.
He was still standing there, staring at me with those impassive eyes and face. It was kind of unnerving.
But yeah, of course I was still pissed at him. But I couldn't really do anything -about- my anger if he just stood there, now could I?
Finally, after a couple more minutes of silence, he pushed himself from the wall and started towards me. Kneeling down slightly, he pulled the gag from my mouth before backing away again. I frowned and ran my tongue over my bottom lip, glaring up at him.
"You really out did yourself this time, didn't you?" I began, shaking my head. "I mean, really. Going to all that trouble drugging me when you had the advantage and binding me on a chair in some dark room. But I have to know; how did you do it? How did you manage to get Panix to beat the living shit out of me and -know- that I'd come crawling to you? *How did you do it*?"
Those last five words came out so venomously and coldly that I think I even took Kai aback. I noticed he was standing before me, tightly clenching his fists and digging his nails into his palms. I raised another eyebrow. Have I hit a nerve?
Smirking, I continued, "Kai, Kai, Kai. I really don't know what to say. And having the guts to bring me in your house with your parents--oh, wait. Your parents are never around, are they? Tell me Kai, where exactly are your parents when your out torturing whoever the hell you please? I -really- want to know."
Kai was on me in a heartbeat.
And I mean literally. He had me pinned up against that chair pretty damn quick and his gaze was locked with mine.
"I live with my mother," he hissed, angry. "My father left us when I was only nine. And my mother is -still- in trauma and she hasn't gotten over it. You know where she is? She's out at some bar drinking. That's what she always does when she's not working. She hasn't spoken three words to me in the past three years! Now tell me Tyson, how does it feel now to have your imperfect life? The one you always complain about? It seems pretty damn fine to me."
He swallowed, pausing for a moment. "You don't know how it is to wake up every morning feeling this emptiness and then going to bed with the same feeling." He gripped at the side's of the chair, and I craned my head back a bit to prevent it from bumping into his. "I'm angry at my father. I'm angry at him for leaving my mother and for leaving me and not even caring."
...For once I really don't have anything to say.
So I did what any normal person would do...
I was silent.
Kai seemed to give me this short, bitter nod and backed away again.
After a moment, I cleared my throat, ripping my gaze from him to the ground. "That's really no explanation for doing this to me, Kai," I said, quietly. "It still doesn't explain--"
"Why I drugged you?" he finished, folding his arms over his chest. I gave a slight nod and he gave the beginning of a caustic smile, "It's simple, really. I was going to handle it in a calmer way but you've really tested my patience tonight, pup."
Both of my eyebrows shot up. Like that. Boom. They were all the way up there.
Great. I piss off the tall guy and drudge up a whole lot of bad memories. You're -so- smart, Tyson.
"You don't scare me, Kai," I said, almost laughing. "We've been doing this little 'exchange' of ours too long for you to be able to scare me. Find a new plan."
He came a little closer again, that weird smile growing a bit. "Who said I was here to scare you? I'm doing this to make you realize something."
...
....
.....
...the fuck?
Before I had a chance to ask him again, he slipped behind my chair and I could feel him working out the knots of my bonds. After a minute or two, the ropes slipped free from my wrists and my hands fell limply to my sides. I rubbed at my sore wrist, red from the rough texture of the rope running against it.
"You look like a deer caught in the headlights," he stated, amused.
Well, I imagined I did. I was confused as hell.
"Kai, I really don't know what you're getting at but--" I started to tell the bastard off when he suddenly cut me off, slipping an arm around my waist and flinging me back against the creme colored wall.
Ouuuuch...! Pain! Lots and lots of miserable pain running through every inch of my body! Ow~ww.
He didn't even waste his time saying anything this time. Kai crushed his lips against mine, entwining his fingers in my hair and yanking my head back a little bit. He violated my mouth; pelting my lips with bruises and small cuts that leaked a little blood. I winced as his grip in my hair tightened and his free hand slipped behind my back, pushing me against him.
"I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much." he whispered when he pulled away, pressing my forehead against his. "And I don't care how long it takes but I'm going to make you love me."
I couldn't really comprehend all the well to what he was saying. My head was spinning and I was finding it increasingly hard to breathe. It was so suffocating in here. His closeness and this small room; I could barely even gasp for air. I slipped down the wall and he went down with me, kissing me again in the process.
"Let me go," I managed out, all though it was barely audible. "Kai, I can't breathe."
I felt him tense a bit and, for that small moment, he loosened his grip. But that was enough time for me. I shot up incredibly fast and was out of that room in about ten seconds flat. Eh, for someone who was having trouble breathing, that's kinda fast. But it just wasn't that. It was him. And what he said. What he was -saying- and what he was -doing-. It was confusing and my head still hadn't slowed.
He loved me?
That's what was racing through my mind when I shoved open the door to his house and stumbled out into the cold, raining night.
How could he love me?
I didn't...I don't understand.
I choked back a sob, and placed a hand over my mouth. God, this was all wrong. He wasn't supposed to love me. That's not how it worked out. I hated him and he was suppose to hate me. That's the way it's been and I thought that was the way it would always be.
Why did he have to go and screw that up?
I limped down his porch, almost clinging to the fence of it. I winced at the feel of the cold rain beating down on my head but it wasn't really where my main concern was. I couldn't really get -any- of my concerns straight. My mind was such a cluttered mess at the moment that it was hard to think of anything.
I raised my head when I saw the edge of the front door open and Kai gazing quietly at me from his place at the doorframe. I shook my head again, swallowing the oncoming tears and spoke, "Don't do this to me, Kai. Tell me this is some kind of joke. Tell me you're just messing with me."
He brushed a strand of hair from his eyes and took a step out of the house and onto the porch. In turn, I pushed myself away from the porch and a couple of stuttering steps backwards onto the cement drive. "It's a realization, Tyson," he said, softly. "Have you begin to even think about it yet?"
"Stop it!" I yelled, making sure he heard me over the roar of lightning that clapped over the sky. "Stop doing this! What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?"
He began down the steps of the porch and I backed away again. "I just want you to say it's true. That you do -love- me."
I was shaking now. Probably so hard that it might've looked like I was having a seizure or break down or something. "You're making this so hard!" I cried, gagging on my own sobs. "Stop lying and just get on with it already! You win, okay! It's over! I'm finished trying to outwit you in this little game of ours, Kai. You win--"
He pounced on me from his position on the stairs, sending me sprawling onto the wet grass with him on top of me. Kai gripped my wrists and pinned them above me head. And even thought I knew it wouldn't do any good, I struggled beneath him. I twisted and turned and did everything to try and get him off of me. But all my attempts failed. He was stronger than me and there was nothing I could do about it.
"You stop," he whispered, biting. "You stop pretending and acting. And for god's sake, stop moving around. I'm not going to hurt you."
So many times he's said that, you realize? And each and every time was a lie.
"Why--why are you...you doing this?" It was hard to talk through my hiccups and cries but I managed to get it out.
He closed his eyes and swallowed again. But something caught my eye through the blue of my own tears...he was crying. Sure, it might've been hard to tell with the rain running down his face but it was unmistakable to see those tears slipping from his eyes.
I've never seen him cry.
He released my wrists to cup the side of my face and run his other hand through my hair. I stopped struggling. I went completely still.
"Because," he murmured, "because I love you."
Oh god, he's still crying.
"And you," He was choking and struggling with his words, "you love me."
"Please stop," I whimpered, shaking worse than ever. "Oh, please just stop."
"N-no, it's true," he said, trying to regain the force in his words but failing. "It's...take this. Stop trying to deny it. I know...you--I love you. And Tyson, I know. I know you love me."
I was scared...no, I was beyond scared. I was terrified. This can't be right. There's no way he can be right. But I could feel it, this little part of me insisting that it was true. And I didn't know where that part came from but I didn't want it there. It wasn't...
It wasn't suppose to be there.
"Please," Kai whispered. "Please...just. Please, Tyson."
Slowly, very slowly, I opened my eyes to meet them with his own. And slowly, very slowly, I stopped crying.
"I'm...it's," I tried to speak but it was hard to get anything out. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do," he said, fervent. "You do. You love me. I love you. Why can't you see that?"
No, I was suppose to hate you, Kai. I was suppose to...hate...you.
But I don't. I never really have. And, realizing this, my whole body tensed upon realizing the next thing...
And very carefully, I whispered, "I love you too."
End Chapter
End Notes: Oh, our poor little confused Tyson has finally figured himself out. ;D You should've seen this coming, folks. All the little clues...all the little things that suggested he might really care about our dear Kai.
Oh yes. I am evil. In a sappy, fluffy kind of way. X_x;
All righty then. Review and I'll get the next chapter out really quickly. ^^;