My Tourniquet – Dedication to Rath

Don't ask about the dedication thing, you guys know how I just loooove Rath, lol ^^ So while I was making this new desktop wallpaper, it just struck me how it reminded me so much of the song Tourniquet (or My Tourniquet, same thing) by Evanescence, the version from the Fallen CD. Yes there are two different versions, one from the Origins CD and the cool one from the Fallen CD. Evanescence is great ^-^ At any rate, here is my first attempt at a songfic. It's centered around Rath if you couldn't tell .; Also, I kinda did this as if the music was like background music…so think of it that way even if they don't fit .;  Lyrics are in between the x-x-x-x thingies…and come before the parts of the fic that they correspond to .;

Don't own Rath, though I really wish I did . Neither do I own any of the Dragon Knights, that's Mineko Ohkami's turf (lucky her .). I don't own Evanescence either lol XD I just own the Fallen CD!

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It was early morning, a little before the sun's rays could reach the castle grounds. Rath stood in front of his dresser, hands gripping the edge so tightly that his knuckles had turn white, and stared into the mirror that stood before him. Its glassy lake surface only reflected the false shell that contained the true evil within him. It's always the same, he growled. Damn these Dragons, damn this shell. He released his grip from the dresser and clenched his fist. I HATE IT! he screamed inside as he brought his fist back and plunged it forward.

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I tried to kill the pain But only brought more…

(So much more…)

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The glass shattered, the pieces reflecting the fire burning in Rath's eyes as they flew away from its frame. He cringed slightly as some of the sharp daggers pierced through his thin nightshirt and face. But he didn't care as he gripped the larger piece and stabbed himself, running the edge down his chest.

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I lay dying

And I am pouring

Crimson regret

And betrayal

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His breath was turning into sharp, quick rasps as he stared up, the blood flowing out of him freely. He'll die out of blood loss now. But no. Something was blocking him. He would not be granted the peace of death so easily. "DAMN YOU FIRE!" Rath screamed in anger. Was now everyone against him?

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I'm dying

Praying

Bleeding

And screaming…

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost…?

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Footsteps could be heard approaching and orders being shout out as the door shook and rattled in its hinges. The voices grew louder as Thatz barreled repeatedly into the door. Shit. He did not want them to find him and try to heal him. No, not again. He'll prevent them from trying to save him again. Rath staggered over to his window. It was a three-story drop.

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My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation…

My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation…

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He stood on the edge, his blood-covered hands the only things that kept him from falling. This fall would do it. There would be no hindrance from the little beast that inhabited within him. He turned slightly as the door finally gave way and his friends stared at him in horror. The hands slid away and there was nothing…

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Do you remember me?

Lost for so long…

Will you be on the other side

Or will you forget me?

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He should be feeling the ground now, but he found to his utter dismay that the landing had been softened by…wind?

"You are such an idiot, Rath!"

Oh God…not her… Anyone but her… He stayed in his position, lying on his side, away from her face.

But she wouldn't have that. Cesia walked over and kneeled down to him, anger filling her eyes. "Do you really want to die that badly?! Don't you know you're hurting them as well as—"

"Hurting them?!" he yelled incredulously.

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I'm dying

Praying

Bleeding

And screaming…

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost…?

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"I'm just tool to those fucking bastards!" he yelled as lights exploded in front of his eyes. The loss of blood was finally taking its toll. I'm just another pawn in their plans. She could never see that. She could never understand that. Immortality my ass. I want out of this damn hellhole. "Just butt out and let me die!"

His sword was in his hand in an instant as he leaped up, ignoring the pain screaming inside him. He had wanted to feel the pain. But now he just wanted to go ahead and leave this place. But once more, his death was delayed.

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My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation…

My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation…

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Cesia swiftly wrenched the sword away and threw it, the tip embedding itself into the ground several feet away from them. She glared at the blood dripping shell of a Dragon Knight that stood in front of her. "Is that what you really want?" She sighed. "My God…are you that weak? Is this what you really want?" Her voice was now pleading as she stared into those red, lifeless eyes of his. "Rath?"

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Return to me salvation…

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Rath just averted his eyes.

I want to die…

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My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation…

My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation…

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Part demon. Part dragon. He wondered how he could have lasted so long as he was. He knew everyone cared for him, worried about, even loved him. But that was so aggravating. How can they? They know what he is, or would find out sooner or later.

Cesia's eyes pierced his mind and soul. Its just like Lykouleon's… I can never look at her without fear of her knowing…

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My wounds cry for the grave

My soul cries for deliverance

Will I be denied?

Christ

Tourniquet

My suicide…

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It was all he could do to stay standing. Again, his attempt proved futile. Again, he encountered an even stronger opponent. Why can he not find peace within death? Why do they keep hindering him? But he had no strength length and the blackness filled his mind as gentle hands caught him.

"You idiot…you could always find peace living…" she softly whispered as she held him up, the other Dragons running toward them. You can't die now…I promised you that remember?

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Hahaha boy that sucked o_O; I'm ashamed of even posting this up x_x; Flames are expected but try to be gentle .; Um, it seems that some parts don't fit the lyrics…@_@; And I've read up to Vol. 7…was gonna try and put Black Cesia in there…but iunno…@_@;;;;;;;;; maybe I'll redo this…o_o; I think I'll stick to my more humorous and more story-lined fics .; At any rate, Tourniquet is an awesome song =O Download it O!