Final Fantasy VII: Mobile Battle
Once again, President Shinra resides on a stool with light from above shining, in a relaxed pose.
President Shinra: Well, hello again everyone, and glad to have you in another round of Final Fantasy VII.
Cloud steps in, with photo.
Cloud: Do you know the man in this picture?!
President Shinra: Grabs photograph and scratches his head That's the second time you've done that!! It's getting annoying!! And, yet again..I do not know who this man is, but I bet it has something to do with our story today. Today we are in the Sector Seven Slums, where Tifa and her Slut Gundam reside. So.Rips off coat and glasses Gundam fight all set!! Ready.Go!!!
Hot Tips for the Bartender: Rise of the Slut Gundam
Cloud and Mog make there way into Sector Seven. Shinra troops reside all over the place. Cloud and Mog further enter the slum.
Mog: Well then, that's my workout!! Phew!! Rubs head
Cloud: Pulls back red sash Don't be restin on me yet!! We have work to do!!
Mog: Glares at Cloud Geez, your all work and no rest Kupo!! Give things a break!!
Cloud: Looks ahead I never asked for you to join me!!
Mog: Yeah, well you'd be up a creek if I weren't here!!
Cloud: Looks down at Mog Oh really? Well, then in that in that case, prove your worth to me! What's in Sector Seven?
Mog: Pulls tiny calculator device from his satchel Hmmm, well if this is right, the Slut Gundam is here.
Cloud: Puts hand over forehead Not another one of these episodes. Is this going to be a pattern for the rest of this demented redo?
Mog: Shakes head No No Kupo!! This area is fine, at least it should be. Tifa is a freedom fighter, but.she definitely looks like a candidate for the local HOOTERS Kupo. Cloud: Starts thinking Well then, lets get going. God, these slums have the biggest hicks.
Mog: Giggles You don't look too straight yourself with purple garbs on Kupo!
Cloud quickly draws the buster sword and holds it at Mog's neck
Cloud: Smirking Umm.repeat please?
Mog: Swallows hard Fine!! Smiles and gives thumbs up You're a'OK in my book Cloud!! Lets go!!
Cloud re-sheaths his buster sword the two walk into the slum, and after a while, enter Tifa's Seventh Heaven. The two take a seat at the bar stools and wait to be served by none other than Tifa herself
Tifa: Walks slutily up to the newcomers and leans on the counter, coming on to Cloud Hey boys!! What'll it be?
Mog: Looks up from calculator device Oh!! Regen please Kupo!!
Tifa: Smiling At Cloud And you big boy?
Cloud: Crosses arms Gimme something hard.
Tifa: Stand tall, staring at the two and smiling Ooooh, a big drink.for a big man!! Alrighty, comin right up boys!! Slutily walks away, and goes to prepare the drinks
Cloud: Eyes following Tifa (So she's the Slut Gundam's pilot.not that I'd argue.I mean look at that bust, those thighs, that sexy walk.mmmm)
Mog: Bonks Cloud with satchel Head outta the Cloud's.no pun intended Kupo!
Cloud: Defensivly turns at Mog I-I- I wasn't.I mean, .I was studying my opponent!!
Mog: Returns to device Sure you were Kupo. Just don't mistake your Dick for your head in the process Kupo. Again, no pun intended Kupo.
At Shinra relay station in Sector Seven
Shinra soldier: On phone Yes sir!! I think we've located the revolutionaries!!
Heideggar: Gya ha ha!! So, sector seven eh? Shoulda expected them to hide in the most quiet Sector!! Gya ha ha!!
Shinra soldier: Yes sir!! Your orders sir?
Heideggar: Rock that sector the likes that it has never seen!! Gya ha ha ha
Shinra soldier: Hears voice as he hangs up the phone "Will you stop that incessant horse laugh!!!" Alright men, listen up!! Four Shinra soldiers line up in attention stance Our orders are to seek out the rebels in sector seven!! Afterwars, if we can draw out the rebels Gundam, we'll destroy it!! Is that clear?
Soldiers: YES SIR!!
Shinra soldier: Right then!! Ready all mobile suits!! Prepare for combat!!
Back at the bar, Tifa is delivering the drinks to Cloud and Mog. She walks up to the two, smiling still, as Cloud stares unnoticeanly at Tifa, and Mog keeps at his device.
Tifa: Sets down drinks Here ya go!! Drink up boys!! Glares in Cloud's eyes as he drinks and smiles Mmmm, those beautiful eyes.tee hee!!
Cloud: Glaring into Tifa's eyes What about em?
Tifa: Giggles Can't I admire them? You don't have to be so tense, even if you are a Gundam Fighter.
Cloud: Looks up stunned, along with Mog You knew?!
Tifa: Giggles Well of coarse, you knew about me. I think it's pretty fair!!
Cloud: Grins Well then. How bout it, fight me?
Tifa: Giggles No, of coarse not. I only fight contenders, not pretty boys along for the ride!
Cloud: Face cringes Pretty boy eh? You should talk, your probably a show off in your own right, and I mean hey, you do it even when you don't try.
Tifa: Face gets serious as she rubs Cloud's chin Little, little boy. You'd be so downhearted if you were to face a fighter like me.
Cloud: Drinks a swallow of his beer Whatever. You probably don't have what I'm looking for anyway.
Tifa: Looks curiously Oooh, and what migh that beeee...
Bar shakes. People grasp the ground as it shakes violently. Explosions can be heard as Cloud and Mog get under the table.
Mog: Covers ears What the.?! Not again Kupo!!
Cloud: Peers through bars opening, catching view of two giant feet Mobile Suits?! Cloud gets up and starts running outside as he views five Shinra patrol suits Shinra?! Well, I was looking to fight someone, I guess these guys would do!! But why the hell are they here?!
Mog: Looks as Cloud runs off Cloud!! Wait Cloud!! Oh go on!! Typical of you Cloud!! Looks around for Tifa Hey, where'd she go Kupo?! Hard-headed losers all!!
Outside the bar, Shinra mobile suits wreak havoc among sector seven, killing and injuring many. Cloud kicks one shinra soldier, and slashes at another as he looks up at the carnage.
Cloud: Angry Jesus!! Dammit, what the hell are they after?!
Shinra leader: Inside Mobile suit People of sector seven. We have reason to believe a group of resistance members is taking refuge here. Resistance members, turn yourselves in, or the town gets wasted!! Make the right decision!!
A Shinra Mobile suit begins shooting at Cloud. Cloud jumps and dodges the huge explosions. Just then, a Gundam colored white, drown and black comes from the shadows, and jump-kicks a nearby Shinra Monbile suit, immobilizing it. The Gundam has a feminine attribute, and huge bust.
Tifa: In Slut Gundam Shinra soldiers, surrender now!! Stop your attack!! There are no resistance members here!!
Shinra soldier: In Mobile suit T-The resistances Gundam?!
Shinra soldier: In mobile suit Who cares, just fire!!
The two suits fire their machine guns at the Slut Gundam, but Tifa's moves are fast as she comes up, and pounds the first Mobile suit with Slut Gundam fists. And just as quickly, she flip-kicks the other Mobile suit, bisecting it. Tifa then turns to another Shinra mobile suit, which is preparing to attack. Slut Gundams bust opens partially up, revealing two gatling guns in each breast.
Shinra soldier: In ecstasy Ohhhhh, wow!!
Tifa: Smirking Fantasize this!! Slut Gundam opens fire, wasting the Shinra mobile suit, as it falls to the ground. Bystanders run and scream from the battle zone.
Slut Gundam runs up to the last Shinra mobile suit, and slugs it in the gut, punching right through it. As the soldier inside briefly screams, Slut Gundam removes it's fist, stands tall, and looks down at Cloud.
Tifa: Ready to fight Well, you seem worthy, and since I'm ready anyway, lets go!! Slut Gundam gets in battle stance
Cloud: Smiles upward at the Gundam and nods. Cloud raises his Buster sword. Buster Gundam rise!! Cloud's Gundam appears as Cloud gets into the Mobile Trace system, and once again practices techniques with the Gundam, the two mechs then face each other. Gundam fight!! Ready.Go!!!
Buster Gundam runs at Slut Gundam, blade extended as it swings. Slut Gundam blocks the huge blade with her hands.
Tifa: Smirking Not bad, but I'm winning this fight!!
Slut Gundam performs a twist-kick at Buster Gundam's head, But Cloud uses Buster Gundam's boosters as Buster Gundam flys upwards, the Slut Gundam's feet hit the chestplate, sending the Gundam pummeling to the ground creating a huge skid mark.
Cloud: In pain Dammit!! Don't think you;ve won yet!! Buster Gundam gets up, and back into stance Lets do it!!
Tifa: Smiles I've won already boy!! Slut Gundam fires the breast-emplaced vulcans Haha!! Lead implants are so much better than silicon!!
Cloud: Buster Gundam uses boosters to slide across the area, as the missed shots hit the ground. Cloud also blocks with the Buster Sword. Ha!! Machine gun breasts huh? How original..!
Mog: Watching on the ground, a tad worried as he plugs away at his device Gee, I hope the repair job isn't gonna be too big!! Clou, that's a Gundam, not a toy Kupo!!
Buster Gundam fires its' head emplaced vulcans at Slut Gundam, which dodges the shots nimbly.
Cloud: Confidently Those jugs are nice, but need a little trim job!! Buster Gundam swerves, and flys in, Buster Sword drawn, as it slices the gun barrels off Slut Gundam's breast vulcans
Tifa: Stunned Never seen that one before, but I bet your not ready for this!! Slut Gundam jumps in the air, and prepares to strike SEVENTH HEAVEN SMASH!!
Cloud: Astonished, but not defeated. Eyes Glowing brightly Not yet babe!! Buster Gundam slides under Slut Gundam, and high-kicks it. Slut Gundam goes flying, skidding into several housing areas before stopping.
Buster Gundam, stands tall as it faces Slut Gundam, which struggles, but successfully rises and faces Buster Gundam.
Cloud: Out of breath Got anymore?
Tifa: Out of breath You don't, so why should I?!
Cloud: Relaxes and momentarily closes eyes I gotta find out how you do that.
Mog: Through the comlink Cloud, you gonna finish her Kupo?
Cloud: Smiling This time..it's a draw!!
Later on
Cloud, Mog, and Tifa stand outside the remains of the Seventh Heaven Bar, and discuss matters.
Cloud: Collected This place will take a lot of cleaning up.
Mog: At his device The bill alone is 15,000,000,000,000 Gil Kupo.
Tifa: Smiles while running her hand through her hair Yea, I suppose, but It'll be a job well worth it!! Sorry that I don't recognize the guy in the photo.
Cloud: Smiles lightly Thanks anyway. Good luck on fixing this place. Sorry that we couldn't have stopped the Shinra sooner. I never knew you were a rebel.
Tifa: Neither did I, whoever they are looking for, that rebel group is definitely in the slums. And don't be sorry. At least the damage was minor here. The Shinra devastate towns, so this one was relatively saved, thanks to you. I wish you well on your quest. Smiles, stands sexy, and points at Cloud And don't think I won't be a pain in your ass the next time we meet!! I'll be in training!!
Cloud: Begins to walk off with Mog, and grins I look forward to it!! See you in the finals, hopefully.
Tifa smiles as Cloud and Mog walk off
Mog: Grins deviously You liked her.
Cloud: Irritated She was an opponent interest, nothing more.
Mog: Grins wider You got the hots for her Kupo!!
Cloud: Angry Shut up!!
The two continue arguing as they head off towards their next goal, and battle.
End of EPISODE II
Once again, President Shinra resides on a stool with light from above shining, in a relaxed pose.
President Shinra: Well, hello again everyone, and glad to have you in another round of Final Fantasy VII.
Cloud steps in, with photo.
Cloud: Do you know the man in this picture?!
President Shinra: Grabs photograph and scratches his head That's the second time you've done that!! It's getting annoying!! And, yet again..I do not know who this man is, but I bet it has something to do with our story today. Today we are in the Sector Seven Slums, where Tifa and her Slut Gundam reside. So.Rips off coat and glasses Gundam fight all set!! Ready.Go!!!
Hot Tips for the Bartender: Rise of the Slut Gundam
Cloud and Mog make there way into Sector Seven. Shinra troops reside all over the place. Cloud and Mog further enter the slum.
Mog: Well then, that's my workout!! Phew!! Rubs head
Cloud: Pulls back red sash Don't be restin on me yet!! We have work to do!!
Mog: Glares at Cloud Geez, your all work and no rest Kupo!! Give things a break!!
Cloud: Looks ahead I never asked for you to join me!!
Mog: Yeah, well you'd be up a creek if I weren't here!!
Cloud: Looks down at Mog Oh really? Well, then in that in that case, prove your worth to me! What's in Sector Seven?
Mog: Pulls tiny calculator device from his satchel Hmmm, well if this is right, the Slut Gundam is here.
Cloud: Puts hand over forehead Not another one of these episodes. Is this going to be a pattern for the rest of this demented redo?
Mog: Shakes head No No Kupo!! This area is fine, at least it should be. Tifa is a freedom fighter, but.she definitely looks like a candidate for the local HOOTERS Kupo. Cloud: Starts thinking Well then, lets get going. God, these slums have the biggest hicks.
Mog: Giggles You don't look too straight yourself with purple garbs on Kupo!
Cloud quickly draws the buster sword and holds it at Mog's neck
Cloud: Smirking Umm.repeat please?
Mog: Swallows hard Fine!! Smiles and gives thumbs up You're a'OK in my book Cloud!! Lets go!!
Cloud re-sheaths his buster sword the two walk into the slum, and after a while, enter Tifa's Seventh Heaven. The two take a seat at the bar stools and wait to be served by none other than Tifa herself
Tifa: Walks slutily up to the newcomers and leans on the counter, coming on to Cloud Hey boys!! What'll it be?
Mog: Looks up from calculator device Oh!! Regen please Kupo!!
Tifa: Smiling At Cloud And you big boy?
Cloud: Crosses arms Gimme something hard.
Tifa: Stand tall, staring at the two and smiling Ooooh, a big drink.for a big man!! Alrighty, comin right up boys!! Slutily walks away, and goes to prepare the drinks
Cloud: Eyes following Tifa (So she's the Slut Gundam's pilot.not that I'd argue.I mean look at that bust, those thighs, that sexy walk.mmmm)
Mog: Bonks Cloud with satchel Head outta the Cloud's.no pun intended Kupo!
Cloud: Defensivly turns at Mog I-I- I wasn't.I mean, .I was studying my opponent!!
Mog: Returns to device Sure you were Kupo. Just don't mistake your Dick for your head in the process Kupo. Again, no pun intended Kupo.
At Shinra relay station in Sector Seven
Shinra soldier: On phone Yes sir!! I think we've located the revolutionaries!!
Heideggar: Gya ha ha!! So, sector seven eh? Shoulda expected them to hide in the most quiet Sector!! Gya ha ha!!
Shinra soldier: Yes sir!! Your orders sir?
Heideggar: Rock that sector the likes that it has never seen!! Gya ha ha ha
Shinra soldier: Hears voice as he hangs up the phone "Will you stop that incessant horse laugh!!!" Alright men, listen up!! Four Shinra soldiers line up in attention stance Our orders are to seek out the rebels in sector seven!! Afterwars, if we can draw out the rebels Gundam, we'll destroy it!! Is that clear?
Soldiers: YES SIR!!
Shinra soldier: Right then!! Ready all mobile suits!! Prepare for combat!!
Back at the bar, Tifa is delivering the drinks to Cloud and Mog. She walks up to the two, smiling still, as Cloud stares unnoticeanly at Tifa, and Mog keeps at his device.
Tifa: Sets down drinks Here ya go!! Drink up boys!! Glares in Cloud's eyes as he drinks and smiles Mmmm, those beautiful eyes.tee hee!!
Cloud: Glaring into Tifa's eyes What about em?
Tifa: Giggles Can't I admire them? You don't have to be so tense, even if you are a Gundam Fighter.
Cloud: Looks up stunned, along with Mog You knew?!
Tifa: Giggles Well of coarse, you knew about me. I think it's pretty fair!!
Cloud: Grins Well then. How bout it, fight me?
Tifa: Giggles No, of coarse not. I only fight contenders, not pretty boys along for the ride!
Cloud: Face cringes Pretty boy eh? You should talk, your probably a show off in your own right, and I mean hey, you do it even when you don't try.
Tifa: Face gets serious as she rubs Cloud's chin Little, little boy. You'd be so downhearted if you were to face a fighter like me.
Cloud: Drinks a swallow of his beer Whatever. You probably don't have what I'm looking for anyway.
Tifa: Looks curiously Oooh, and what migh that beeee...
Bar shakes. People grasp the ground as it shakes violently. Explosions can be heard as Cloud and Mog get under the table.
Mog: Covers ears What the.?! Not again Kupo!!
Cloud: Peers through bars opening, catching view of two giant feet Mobile Suits?! Cloud gets up and starts running outside as he views five Shinra patrol suits Shinra?! Well, I was looking to fight someone, I guess these guys would do!! But why the hell are they here?!
Mog: Looks as Cloud runs off Cloud!! Wait Cloud!! Oh go on!! Typical of you Cloud!! Looks around for Tifa Hey, where'd she go Kupo?! Hard-headed losers all!!
Outside the bar, Shinra mobile suits wreak havoc among sector seven, killing and injuring many. Cloud kicks one shinra soldier, and slashes at another as he looks up at the carnage.
Cloud: Angry Jesus!! Dammit, what the hell are they after?!
Shinra leader: Inside Mobile suit People of sector seven. We have reason to believe a group of resistance members is taking refuge here. Resistance members, turn yourselves in, or the town gets wasted!! Make the right decision!!
A Shinra Mobile suit begins shooting at Cloud. Cloud jumps and dodges the huge explosions. Just then, a Gundam colored white, drown and black comes from the shadows, and jump-kicks a nearby Shinra Monbile suit, immobilizing it. The Gundam has a feminine attribute, and huge bust.
Tifa: In Slut Gundam Shinra soldiers, surrender now!! Stop your attack!! There are no resistance members here!!
Shinra soldier: In Mobile suit T-The resistances Gundam?!
Shinra soldier: In mobile suit Who cares, just fire!!
The two suits fire their machine guns at the Slut Gundam, but Tifa's moves are fast as she comes up, and pounds the first Mobile suit with Slut Gundam fists. And just as quickly, she flip-kicks the other Mobile suit, bisecting it. Tifa then turns to another Shinra mobile suit, which is preparing to attack. Slut Gundams bust opens partially up, revealing two gatling guns in each breast.
Shinra soldier: In ecstasy Ohhhhh, wow!!
Tifa: Smirking Fantasize this!! Slut Gundam opens fire, wasting the Shinra mobile suit, as it falls to the ground. Bystanders run and scream from the battle zone.
Slut Gundam runs up to the last Shinra mobile suit, and slugs it in the gut, punching right through it. As the soldier inside briefly screams, Slut Gundam removes it's fist, stands tall, and looks down at Cloud.
Tifa: Ready to fight Well, you seem worthy, and since I'm ready anyway, lets go!! Slut Gundam gets in battle stance
Cloud: Smiles upward at the Gundam and nods. Cloud raises his Buster sword. Buster Gundam rise!! Cloud's Gundam appears as Cloud gets into the Mobile Trace system, and once again practices techniques with the Gundam, the two mechs then face each other. Gundam fight!! Ready.Go!!!
Buster Gundam runs at Slut Gundam, blade extended as it swings. Slut Gundam blocks the huge blade with her hands.
Tifa: Smirking Not bad, but I'm winning this fight!!
Slut Gundam performs a twist-kick at Buster Gundam's head, But Cloud uses Buster Gundam's boosters as Buster Gundam flys upwards, the Slut Gundam's feet hit the chestplate, sending the Gundam pummeling to the ground creating a huge skid mark.
Cloud: In pain Dammit!! Don't think you;ve won yet!! Buster Gundam gets up, and back into stance Lets do it!!
Tifa: Smiles I've won already boy!! Slut Gundam fires the breast-emplaced vulcans Haha!! Lead implants are so much better than silicon!!
Cloud: Buster Gundam uses boosters to slide across the area, as the missed shots hit the ground. Cloud also blocks with the Buster Sword. Ha!! Machine gun breasts huh? How original..!
Mog: Watching on the ground, a tad worried as he plugs away at his device Gee, I hope the repair job isn't gonna be too big!! Clou, that's a Gundam, not a toy Kupo!!
Buster Gundam fires its' head emplaced vulcans at Slut Gundam, which dodges the shots nimbly.
Cloud: Confidently Those jugs are nice, but need a little trim job!! Buster Gundam swerves, and flys in, Buster Sword drawn, as it slices the gun barrels off Slut Gundam's breast vulcans
Tifa: Stunned Never seen that one before, but I bet your not ready for this!! Slut Gundam jumps in the air, and prepares to strike SEVENTH HEAVEN SMASH!!
Cloud: Astonished, but not defeated. Eyes Glowing brightly Not yet babe!! Buster Gundam slides under Slut Gundam, and high-kicks it. Slut Gundam goes flying, skidding into several housing areas before stopping.
Buster Gundam, stands tall as it faces Slut Gundam, which struggles, but successfully rises and faces Buster Gundam.
Cloud: Out of breath Got anymore?
Tifa: Out of breath You don't, so why should I?!
Cloud: Relaxes and momentarily closes eyes I gotta find out how you do that.
Mog: Through the comlink Cloud, you gonna finish her Kupo?
Cloud: Smiling This time..it's a draw!!
Later on
Cloud, Mog, and Tifa stand outside the remains of the Seventh Heaven Bar, and discuss matters.
Cloud: Collected This place will take a lot of cleaning up.
Mog: At his device The bill alone is 15,000,000,000,000 Gil Kupo.
Tifa: Smiles while running her hand through her hair Yea, I suppose, but It'll be a job well worth it!! Sorry that I don't recognize the guy in the photo.
Cloud: Smiles lightly Thanks anyway. Good luck on fixing this place. Sorry that we couldn't have stopped the Shinra sooner. I never knew you were a rebel.
Tifa: Neither did I, whoever they are looking for, that rebel group is definitely in the slums. And don't be sorry. At least the damage was minor here. The Shinra devastate towns, so this one was relatively saved, thanks to you. I wish you well on your quest. Smiles, stands sexy, and points at Cloud And don't think I won't be a pain in your ass the next time we meet!! I'll be in training!!
Cloud: Begins to walk off with Mog, and grins I look forward to it!! See you in the finals, hopefully.
Tifa smiles as Cloud and Mog walk off
Mog: Grins deviously You liked her.
Cloud: Irritated She was an opponent interest, nothing more.
Mog: Grins wider You got the hots for her Kupo!!
Cloud: Angry Shut up!!
The two continue arguing as they head off towards their next goal, and battle.
End of EPISODE II