Disclaimer: I don't own the Pretender…despite any delusions my current Pez high has given me. Would you like a Pez? The characters are not mine and I'm not making any money out of spending hours of my day obsessing over them. In the event that you feel like suing me for using the characters, I will merely plead insanity due to overconsumption of Pez. So again, I ask, would you like a Pez?

Second Disclaimer: I liked my first one so much, I though I'd write another…not really. Anyway, I've borrowed lines from the following episodes of the Pretender: "Unsinkable" and "Gigolo Jarod." It should be noted that these episodes are not mine. I never wrote them nor did I have anything to do with their development or creation. My apologies for using someone else's work. The bolded and italicized lines are from Act III of Thornton Wilder's play "Our Town." This, of course, is also not mine and standard apologies apply. I also have no idea if the play ever existed in a hard bound edition with a red cover…sadly, I own it in a recently published paperback edition…but I like the idea of a worn red cover.

Summary: Lyle frames Ms. Parker for murder and guess who comes along as the local sheriff, that's right, Jarod. Will Parker finally allow him to free her from her prison, both literally and figuratively? Post IOTH.

Behind Bars

By Bec-Bec

Another chapter

Ignorance and Blindness

"Were you happy?"

"No…I should have listened to you. That's all human beings are! Just blind people."

Ms. Parker glanced over a few of the last lines in the play "Our Town." The old fabric cover on the book had long been faded, and the pages were turning yellow with age. However, despite its appearance, it held endless emotional value because it had been her mother's.

She wasn't sure why she had opened the book up, memories perhaps. Many memories, and she now had to choose which ones she wanted to bring with her and which ones she would ultimately leave behind.

Jarod had brought her back to her house to collect what she would need while they traveled together. Together. The thought was still foreign to her, still new and surprising, but she wasn't sorry. Of all the emotions running through her, regret was not among them.

"What are you reading?" Jarod asked from the doorway of her mother's study.

He was reluctant to enter the room without her permission to do so. He knew this one room was her sanctuary from the entire world, and he couldn't intrude on something so personal and precious to her.

Ms. Parker tore her eyes from the old book and turned them to face Jarod. "It's just an old play. My mother had it on the bookshelf. It was one of the books we were going to read together…but we never got the chance." Ms. Parker's eyes became shadowy as memories of the childhood she was never allowed to complete came to mind.

After her mother had died, her innocence had been lost to the harsh world of the Centre. Her father had not allowed her to dabble in dreams…and that's all childhood was, dreams. She had been forced to grow up; metamorphose into a woman directly from a child with no years of transition. Perhaps that's why, like Jarod, she had searched to reclaim the past for all of these years. They both needed closure on their stolen childhoods so that they could finally move on with their lives.

Jarod shifted uneasily in the doorway. Ms. Parker was completely open in this room; there was nothing artificial or deceptive hiding in it. He felt that, for the first time since they were younger, Ms. Parker was sharing a part of herself that she never shared with anyone. While it was reassuring that she trusted him enough to let him witness her true self, it was discomfiting because he wasn't accustomed to it. He'd grown used to the Ice Queen and her boundaries. So, as much as he'd like to enter the room and join in her pain over a lost childhood, completely sharing in her feelings, he couldn't bring himself to cross that line.

Ms. Parker glanced over at Jarod, breaking away from the memories of her past, and noticed his apprehensive stance. He must have been afraid to come into the room. It wasn't unusual, she even expected it. They had lived the parts of hunter and prey for so long that when their defenses were truly down, it was hard to accept what was going on. But their parts in that play were over now.

The lines from "Our Town" drifted back to her.

"Were you happy?"

"No…I should have listened to you. That's all human beings are! Just blind people."

She had been blind to what was going on, corrupted by her father so much that she couldn't see the terrible things happening right in front of her, the things that she became an accomplice to. She had also been sad, so very sad. Happy hadn't existed, because she hadn't listened to what her instincts had told her…except once, with Thomas.

Thomas had been the only other person to come in this room, besides her and her mother…the only person she shared it with, the only person who had scaled the insurmountable wall she had created to protect herself. He had broken through to a place where only her mother had been for many years.

"She had a very painful life and that room was her sanctuary."

"No, Parker, you were. But, you can't remember that. When you closed off that room, you closed off a part of your soul, the part that came from her. Get it back."

"I can't do it alone."

Thomas had been there with her, and she hadn't been alone. Perhaps Thomas had been the first person that she had trusted since her mother's death…though she could never tell him everything about herself or her life, she had allowed him to get close to her heart. But he was gone now…and probably because of the trust she had given him and the part of her heart that she had allowed him into.

After that, she had blocked everyone and everything out, again. In the end, the Ice Queen was always called upon to save her from the pain of loss. Yet, here she was now, defenses down, ready to risk it all again. She only hoped that this time it would be different. That, for once, it wouldn't end in heartache and emptiness.

She had taken the chance with Thomas, now it was time to take that same chance with Jarod.

Ms. Parker walked quietly over to Jarod and took his hand, pulling him gently into the room. She didn't speak to him, just pulled him silently into her one escape from the painful world she lived in.

Finally, Jarod spoke. "I didn't want to trespass somewhere you didn't want me to be."

"Jarod, my life hasn't been easy, not since my mother died, and not since Thomas…" She paused for a moment. "This room is the one place I've had where there weren't any lies; there were no facades for me to hide behind because I didn't need them. You always knew this room was here, as a place inside of me, but I never let you into it. Now, I want you to be here."

A stunned silence settled on Jarod.

Ms. Parker gave a soft smile at his shock-induced speechlessness and led him over to the window seat behind her mother's desk. She motioned for him to sit and then sat next to him, staring out the window and still clasping his hand.

"My mother and I used to come in here and talk in the moonlight. I would babble about all of my childhood foolishness, but she would listen to every single word as if it were the most interesting story she'd heard in her entire life. She made me feel important and special." A sad smile crossed her face.

"Sometimes she would read to me in here and, when I was old enough, I read to her.

"There was always comfort in this room, peacefulness. I guess, after she died, I was afraid it wouldn't be the same if it was just me." Ms. Parker transferred her gaze to her fingers, intertwined with Jarod's.

"I didn't come back in here until Thomas gave me the courage to open this part of my past up again. After he…died, I didn't come in here for a few months. I couldn't be in here alone, it brought up too many memories. Memories that I couldn't face alone."

Silence settled on the room for a moment, but Ms. Parker did not pull her fingers from Jarod's.

Jarod didn't know what to stay. He felt that anything he said would destroy the fragile tranquility of the room. Part of him was afraid that he might set Parker off and then this guileless moment would end. She was so peaceful here, completely at ease…in his presence, no less. It was a rare and treasurable moment. He wished he could seal it up in a bottle for whenever he was feeling sad or alone, because it would supply endless comfort to him.

Finally gaining the courage to talk, Jarod interrupted Ms. Parker's vigil over their enmeshed hands. "You're in here now."

"As are you," Ms. Parker replied softly.

There was silence.

Jarod grew uncomfortable and pulled his fingers from Parker's. "I'll leave you to finish packing." Jarod spoke quietly as he got up and walked away from the window seat, towards the door.

"Jarod?" Ms. Parker's voice called him back quietly, slightly confused.

Jarod gathered his thoughts for a moment before turning back to her and answering. "It's different seeing you this way. I have to go because if I don't, we'll just end up arguing and ruin the serenity of the moment before this one. I don't want to contaminate its memory."

Ms. Parker laughed bitterly. "As if all of our memories weren't already tainted. What's another one tossed onto the heap?"

"Don't, Parker," Jarod said evenly, in response to the sudden disdain that filled her voice. "I don't feel like arguing again, today."

This emotional game of ping-pong they had going on was starting to tire him out. It was too much for one day, to have to deal with their mercurial feelings over and over.

"And I don't feel like being alone today," Ms. Parker's voice answered his firmly. "But if you honestly feel that we can't spend several minutes together without whipping into a verbal frenzy, I guess I'm going to be alone for more than today."

Jarod didn't reply. They were never together for more than several minutes without exploding at each other somehow; how could they possibly avoid arguing?

"It seems that I have my answer," Ms. Parker remarked coldly, without raising her voice. "Go, Jarod. Get the hell out of my house."

"Don't, Parker." Jarod's voice was just above a whisper.

Ms. Parker was angry, but she wouldn't yell in this room, so her voice resembled a low growl instead. "Don't do what, Jarod? Become upset when I finally come to the conclusion that I should risk it all for you…for us, and you decide you can't even be in the same room with me? That's just a little too much to ask of me, Jarod."

"Parker, you have to admit that every time we're together, we end up fighting. You can't give me that sort of ultimatum. It's unrealistic."

Again, Ms. Parker laughed bitterly. "As if our entire lives weren't already surreal. Pardon me for asking Superman to do the one thing he seems to be incapable of: sit in a room with me and not start a shouting match." Ms. Parker's voice became hollow. "You're running again, Jarod, and this time it's not from the Ice Queen, it's from me."

He'd hurt her again.

Jarod's mind could only come up with one response. While Parker always reverted to the Ice Queen to protect herself, Jarod always reverted to logic. "When you change the parameters of an experiment, it alters the system, thereby altering the effects on the subjects and changing the population, as well as its mean response and standard deviation."

"What?" Ms. Parker sighed.

"Statistics," Jarod muttered.

"What do statistics have to do with anything, Jarod?" Ms. Parker was once again speaking softly.

"Logic. Statistics have to deal with logic, and we never seem to fall into that category. That was always our problem, Parker. I can't just read a book to find out what to say or understand what to do. I can't even SIM us because there are far too many variables to account for. It throws everything off; makes it impossible to predict the outcomes."

"Jarod, life's not supposed to adhere to any guidelines. There is no range of predictable outcomes. It's not a game of poker." Ms. Parker's voice was venomous but maintained a low volume.

"That's what confuses me. Poker has set rules. There's a method, certain specifications that you have to stick to. Life never seems to run that way."

"Leave it to Wonder Boy to have problems handling a situation when it comes down to finally acting on his emotions." Ms. Parker laughed scornfully. "And I thought I was the emotionally repressed one."

"I'm not emotionally repressed, Parker, I'm confused," Jarod mumbled.

"Join the club, I'm already the president and one of the VIPs. I'll see if I can get you a discount," Ms. Parker joked halfheartedly.

Jarod closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, trying desperately to analyze his churning subconscious and discern why he felt like he was losing control of the situation and why it even mattered if he did lose control of the situation.

It was a difficult task because, in a way, he had to simulate himself. He had to act as the doctor and the patient at one time, the psychiatrist and the sufferer all at once.

Parker had made a valid point, if they were going to travel together, they couldn't be at eachother's throats all of the time. He also wouldn't have this room to rely upon to keep Parker's wrath in check, so they'd have to come to terms with some sort of logical truce…but logic didn't work with them, so what was he supposed to do?

They could both be highly irrational and stubborn, two qualities that made arguments likely occurrences, nearly unavoidable in fact. So, how could it ever work?

It had to work, there had to be some way to apply equations, formulas, and models to their situation, some sort of probability law that would predict the end result of their changing relationship.

But every time he started to grasp onto something, his brain argued back. End results couldn't be predicted without trial runs and there was no such thing as a trial run of life. There were no manuals to instruct him and no books to learn from. Life was based purely on impulse and emotion. So, that's what he'd have to focus on. What were his impulses at that moment? What was he feeling?

A string of emotions ran through him; confusion and anger, at himself, were the forerunners, but they were followed quickly by love and understanding, which led him to the one emotion that finally answered his whole search: fear.

He was afraid of losing Parker if everything didn't work out. It was ironic because that was the same thing he was teaching her to fight against. The fear of abandonment was what guided their lives everyday, and it was what was guiding his life now.

It made perfect sense that fear directed his actions; how long had it taken him to realize his true feelings for Parker? Not until he was afraid of her crawling back into the bleak world of the Centre after opening up to him on the island. When did he throw the rules of the chase out of the window? When he was afraid for Parker's life and wellbeing.

All of his musings led him back to the more universal theme that nearly every action he ever made was based on fear, which was highly unsettling.

Ms. Parker watched Jarod carefully as he toiled with whatever inner demons had him running this time. It was different being on this side of the chase. While she was indeed the hunter, always chasing, and he the prey, always running, the emotional chase had always run the other way around, with her running and him chasing.

She eyed his pensive stance thoughtfully. She had already come to terms with most of her previous reservations about pursuing a relationship with Jarod that morning. Now, all that was left was for him to come to terms with his reservations.

The longer Jarod psychoanalyzed himself, the more helpless he felt. He was lost in a place where he had no control over anything that happened in his life. Finally, he broke himself from his musings, visibly shaken by what he'd discovered.

"How did you do it, Parker?" He asked despondently

"Do what?"

"Overcome all of the doubts and fear enough to show me the true you? How did you take that risk when we could end up hurting each other even worse than we already have…when we could lose each other?"

"Like I said, Jarod, this whole thing…us…it's a gamble, but I play to win, I always have. In my opinion, you're worth it, the question is whether or not you feel the same." Her voice was steady and almost soothing.

Jarod was afraid. It came as a sort of shock to her; she had never pictured Jarod being afraid of anything. But, if she could hide her fear under a tough exterior, perhaps he had been doing the same thing as well; pretending to be okay…indestructible…the hero. He was, after all, a pretender.

Silence had fallen in the room again and Ms. Parker grew restless. She shifted the position she was sitting in.

"Jarod, I'm not known for my patience, especially when it comes to you. I suggest you hurry up coming to a decision before I get pissed off and we go through another bout of arguing because I'm getting tired and I'm NOT nice when I'm tired."

"As if arguing were a pleasant incident," Jarod grumbled.

Ms. Parker laughed scornfully. "You know very well that you willingly and fervently participate in our banter. It takes two sides to have an argument, Jarod; it's not all my doing." She paused. "Come on, Jarod, this isn't astrophysics, it's a simple yes or no question. Is giving us a chance worth it or not?"

"Who ever said that yes and no questions were easy to answer?" Jarod asked distractedly as he tried to quell the fear that threatened to overtake him.

"This coming from Boy Wonder who relies on a magic eight ball to provide him with the answers to his life." Parker laughed for a moment before becoming melancholy. "It shouldn't be that hard to answer, Jarod. If it is, then everything we've said so far today counts for nothing and there really is no such thing as trust."

Jarod huffed. "Trust. I'm almost sick of the word by now. It should mean a lot more than it does, but things never seem to work that way."

He began pacing. "IF I trust you, what am I getting myself into? If I DON'T trust you, what am I losing? Yet, the fact remains that I DO trust you. But…why did I trust you in the first place?"

Ms. Parker laughed sorrowfully. "In the end, we don't choose who we trust. I mean, look at us, we're supposedly sworn enemies, but we're the only ones in our twisted little world that we can rely on. Figures doesn't it."

There was a shared look of confusion, understanding, and comradeship that passed between them.

Jarod sighed, frowning. "It was easier when I wanted you and knew I could never have you. Now, you're a possibility, an option. I don't know if I can handle the change, especially if it means I'll end up losing you altogether. I'd rather have the illusion of you than have you stripped from my life altogether."

Ms. Parker's patience with Jarod finally ended. "Jarod, let's stop the emotional run-around here, okay? The chase is over, no more running. I'm sick and tired of it."

"I'm not running, Parker."

"Sure," Ms. Parker scoffed. "You're running in every way possible, except the one that sends you out the door. Well, if you're so intent on distancing yourself from me, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."

She rose gracefully from her position on the window seat and went back to her packing. She was hoping desperately that Jarod's final decision would be to stay with her, but there was no way that she would let him see that…it would only make it hurt more if he still chose to walk out of the room and her life. A completely detached forefront was much safer…that was always the way to deal with him because then he'd be afraid that he was losing her to the Ice Queen again. It seemed to work out well playing his fears against themselves. She just hoped it would work this time…she did not, by any means, want him walking out of that door.

Jarod's own words ended up echoing back to him:

" They say ' 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' Do you believe that's true?"

He had asked Parker that in an effort to end their loneliness on Valentine's Day…he had meant it then, he had believed it then…and he believed it now. It was time to up the ante, he just hoped his hand of cards was enough to beat the house.

Jarod walked up behind Ms. Parker quietly and laid his hand on her shoulder.

She turned abruptly to see an unsteady smile on Jarod's face and smiled back at him. It seemed to reassure him.

"Can I read it?" He asked softly.

"What?"

"The book you were looking at before."

Ms. Parker nodded softly and handed the worn book to him.

Jarod took the book and moved over to the window seat. He sat down and studied the cover with an intense look and then cautiously opened the book, handling the pages with care.

Parker watched, comforted by the fact that he was treating her mother's book with such regard and, content that Jarod wasn't going anywhere, eventually returned her attention to putting her most prized possessions into a cardboard box to take them away with her.

"Yes, now you know…That's what it was…To move around in a cloud of ignorance; to go up and down trampling on the feelings…of those around you. To spend and waste time as though you had a million years. To be always at the mercy of one self-centered passion, or another. Now you know-that's the happy existence you wanted to go back to. Ignorance and blindness."

But, even blind people needed to wake up someday.

****

Lyle smiled smugly at his reflection in the large mirror of his hotel room in Dover. He looked good…except for his thumb.

He glanced down at the pre-owned thumb…or rather, the stolen, pre-owned thumb. He narrowed his eyes at the mangled thing. Raines had some damned ugly fingers. In fact, Raines just wasn't a pleasant sight at all.

His gaze returned to the image mirrored back to him, how on earth could he be related to that wheezing ghoul? He was far too handsome and intelligent to have any blood ties to the old bastard.

Lyle leaned in closer to the mirror, having noticed a small patch of his hair that wasn't standing in quite the right direction. He smoothed his hand over it, but the springy hairs resisted. He frowned, standing up straight again. Well, there was only one thing to do when something resisted him…win. He seized his bottle of hair gel, squeezed out just the right amount to tame the hairs but not make them stiff, and patted the hairs down gently. Yes, that's the way he was supposed to look.

Lyle smiled to himself. Definitely grade A, top of the line, work. His smile grew as he realized that his approach to his hair was the same as it was when he tortured people.

There were certain ways in which to do things, certain practices that had to be carried out with precision and care to accomplish what was necessary. You had to instill just the right amount of pain, without allowing the victim to fall apart on you. Make them dread your appearance, without causing them to break before you were done doing your work.

He had worked long and hard to perfect his torturing skills and today they would come in handy. Having the perfect hair would only help him in his quest.

Taking one last admiring glance at his reflection, Lyle left the room, and the hotel, to go pick up his latest sweet treat from the airport. Time for some fun.

He had set up his "dear sister" in one of his most elaborate plots ever, one that was sure to work. While Ms. Parker would be caught up with the local authorities, he could go out and capture Jarod. That way, he could win this stupid competition Raines had started between the two of them. Having Ms. Parker removed from the picture would only speed things along. Once he had caught the runaway pretender, he would take him directly to the Triumverate, debasing Raines seat of power at the source, and ultimately taking over the Centre.

Yes, with Ms. Parker out of the way, he could finally have the life and power he deserved. It was only by some small stroke of conscience that he had kept himself from murdering Ms. Parker. Something about the thought of his sister's death at his hands didn't sit right with him…though, she was beautiful when she was angry. Not that it mattered in the slightest.

Even before he discovered they were related, he knew he had no chance with her. She was too obsessed with Jarod. Sure, she hid it behind this masquerade known as a "chase" but he knew the chase meant far more to her than it should have. Ms. Parker was just too damned emotional.

Searching for her past, what a waste of time. The past was meant to stay in the past. But did she realize that, no. It was always my mother this, and my mother that. Who gave a rat's ass?

Their mother was weak and that's why she had been killed. It was only by some miracle, known as their father's intervention, that Ms. Parker hadn't been dealt the same fate.

Their father, there was a laugh. The old bastard chucked himself out of an airplane over some stupid shreds of paper. What a waste.

Raines was in charge now, and Lyle would maintain his allegiance for as long as it suited him, until a dethroning was in order. Pretending to be their new "father's," he used the term loosely, right-hand man would work quite fine for the time being.

Soon he would have all the power and everyone else would answer to him…except maybe Sydney and Broots… and that sweeper…what was his name? Sal? Sam? Gil?…but he'd deal with them later, first things came first. His pleasure and ultimate gain were his pure drive in life, and right now he needed that one thing which fueled him most, the thrill of the kill. It was time to get his newest victim.

Author's Note: Well, this chapter was even shorter than the last one…my apologies, of course. I've spent painstaking hours hammering this out (35 rewrites!) just to get the dialogue right. I've still got issues with a few of the lines, but that's life. If I work on it any longer, I may scrap the whole thing and start over, which would just take even longer. So, here it is, chapter 3, as it stands. I hope it wasn't too bad. Feedback would be highly appreciated and welcomed…don't be shy, I want to know exactly what you think. Love Ya! Buh Bye!