Authors Notes for "Hope for the
Best / A Dream Deferred"
I would
like to thank the following individuals for the help they gave me during the
production of this story. Bad Ronald, who encouraged me to begin
writing this short story, and helped in naming it; Blue Taboo, who supported me with her comments and suggestions; Jeff Alan, who edited the story,
attempted to assist me in naming it, and whose critiques helped me improve my
writing a great deal since; Serena,
who was instrumental in helping me decide how to word the ending, by going far
out of her way to provide me with a copy of the original short story version of
"An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge"; and SuPeRnOvA145, for those last minute grammar corrections that helped
me avoid a great deal of personal embarrassment.
Thank you for helping me out so nicely when I humbly requested your assistance
for this story. This story wouldn't have
reached this point without your help along the way.
I hate WAFF. Well, not all WAFF. A story which is well written and conceived can contain as much WAFF as it needs. Indeed, a very good story can contain just about any story element and come out just fine. Of course, that takes a great deal of skill. For example, some have said that you can't write what you don't know about. Wrong.
But it
takes that much more effort.
Sometimes I wish WAFF writers would put a tad more of that into their work. Otherwise I wouldn't have written this. You see, I was reading a certain WAFF Eva fanfic that was so…so…yeah…
Well, it
could have been better—though I don't mean to disrespect the writer. I've never gotten around to talking to him,
but he seems like a nice guy. But as I
sat before my monitor, smashing my head against the keyboard, I recalled a
certain classic of North American literature by the name of "An Occurrence
at Owl Creek." Specifically the part
where the guy is tossed off a bridge by an execution squad.
Yeah, it
was that bad.
I've said
in the past that some stories aren't worth starting, let alone finishing, but
that's only partially true. Now it would
be true if you were only looking for entertainment. Some stories just aren't interesting. But, no matter how bad a story is, you can
usually find something to learn from the process. I've forced myself to read and reread some
pretty bad works of fan fiction in my time, and yet I'd do it again if it would
mean learning from the mistakes of others, as opposed to my own.
From those
two stories, an overly utopian Asuka/Shinji WAFF, and a great work by Ambrose
Bierse, I was inspired to ask certain questions, and to create this short story
to form the questions for you.
Is hope, in
the face of hopelessness, a delusion people all too happily fall under in order
to continue living? If it is a lie,
wouldn't it be best to face the truth?
Wasn't a key theme of Neon Genesis Evangelion that it was always
best to face reality? Does this still
apply to a truly miserable situation?
Are there no exceptions to the rule, in order to spare us this pain? If not, then is suicide a respectable
alternative, or is this another example of escape? Isn't it, in fact, the ultimate escape? Then in the absence of hope and escape, what
is a person left with?
It should
be noted though, that I didn't answer these questions. I have my own ideas, and that's good enough. You can ask them for yourselves now.
And that's
sort of the point, I think, of why I write fan fiction. I see fan fiction as a way for writers to
share the concepts they've taken from a story—all of the questions, doubts,
speculations, and most importantly, personal answers—with those who will
read. Forums are all very fine and good
for debate, but for creative, intriguing thesis statements, you can't beat a
theme from an interesting story.
Sometimes, an essay on your ideas can be a tad too bland.
Do I think
this story is interesting, entertaining, and enlightening? I can't decide. That would be arrogant thinking. Only you, the reader, can make that
call. However, I'll say I'm confident in
it enough to finally post it, despite not being proud of it. An oxymoron, no?
Well, the
fact is there are some aspects of it that I'm sure would remain true to the
story itself, but that I feel didn't stay true to concepts which inspired
it. The first, I'll admit is that Shinji
dies by his own hand. Now this was the
nature of the story. It had to
happen. But I don't have to be proud of
that. In my mind recalls the words of
Anno—Shinji was so pathetic, he was too afraid to take his own life. I had to go against cannon characterization,
and without proper character development, to end the story in a way that would
leave it complete.
There are other such examples. I'm sure that an analytical reader will be able to find them, and I'm hoping that those same readers will leave reviews. I'm all for reviews that are actual reviews, but bad reviews—shallow praise—will just annoy me.
Please put
some thought into your words, and I promise to take them to heart as I prepare
to write my next story.
— Xanatose
xanatose_x@hotmail.com
April 16, 2003
PS Since I encourage everyone to
read excellent fiction, I present you with this web address to an online copy
of "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge": www.americanliterature.com/SS/SS03.HTML
(Please note, this address may no longer be correct over time, but is accurate as of the date on which this story was published.)
Anti-Copyright—the original short story, "Hope for the Best / A Dream Deferred" (April 16, 2003) may be copied at will for non-profit purposes, though it should be noted that Gainax still retains the rights to Eva, Evangelion, Evangelion Characters, and related concepts in accordance with their copyright (c) 1995-2003.