It may be hard to follow as it's partially based on the movie of bardock. I hope you can follow. If not, review and I'll see what I can do to improve readability.

6.         Awakening

Took me awhile to realize my ass, smart and I was on a bed. So I sat up and yanked some stuff off me. Peering at the dumb wires. How crude. This was nuts. King must have fixed something behind my back. Get him back later. Now then. Pulled the sheet down and grunted. Naked. Well peachy. I needed clothes. And I felt I had a heart beat. Meaning I was alive. Fuck. Heaved myself off the bed and walked to the bathroom. Dunked my head under the water and shook my head. Felt nice and cold. I peered in the mirror and howled loud. WHAT THE HELLLLLL.

'YEMAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU RED FACED, HORNED BASTARD.' A nurse walked in. I glared at her.

\Scram onna\
'Excuse me?'

\Aw crap…standard, I suck at standard\
'Go away.' I think…
'Yes...if you insist, can I call the doctor to check on you?'

\God damned doctors won't touch my ass ever again.\ 'NO.' I swatted at my naked ass. 'Dress!'
'Dress? Oh clothes?'

'Yes.' Fucking language. I was a third class bitch I didn't need to learn languages. I was STUPID by their regulations. Finally she came back with…jeans…shirt…sneakers…ah crap…. I was a hippy? I peered at the zipper. How the hell did a zipper work…I was used to SUITS. Ones you pulled on and sat perfectly until some ass blew a hole in it and my leg.

20 minutes later I walked out. Fuck hospital. Hated the smell. Too antiseptic. If you weren't sick on arrival, you'd be by the time you left. Feh. Now to figure out where I was. I strolled on and on. People without tails passed me by. So some standard sort of planet…a colony? I stopped a woman with Chibi.

'What planet?' she peered funny at me.

'Chikyuu off course. Come on sweetie.' They quickly ran away as I stiffened. CHIKYUU? BRAT? Kakarotto? AHHH Kakarotto…how to find him…I didn't know his new name…

Or…Gokuu…but if my brat was here so was Vegeta… um…how to find the prince…Vegeta would know where he was…

I sat on a bench thinking deep. Where did they say he was… Damn I wished I paid more attention to their gossips…Vegeta…something with a weird name…Underwear… slip? No…trunks? No…lingerie? No…stockings…no…panties?…no…Bulma? no his onna. AHH his onna…maybe if I use her. I glanced up at blue pants. Peered up and at an officer.

'Good. Need address.'
'Are you a foreigner?' /YES AASSSSSS I came from the dead tooooooo./

'Yes. Need address Bulma.'
'Oh Mrs. Briefs?'
'Need Vegeta.'

'Ah your in luck, he just returned. I could drive you there.'
'Thanks.' He walked me to…a scooter…the humiliation. Grumpy I held on as we crossed the city. I blew the black hair from my face. I hated this hair. Too damned fine.

'Here you are buddy.'/BUDDY EVEN DAMN YOU, I HATE COPPERS. Their too damned strict./

'Thanks'
'Good luck, rumor has it he's moody.'
'Okay.' /looks like a DUMPPPPPPP. No wonder/

I peered at the button. Pressing it. AH sound…whoopee. /HOW QUAINT I'LL KICK AND BLOW THE DOOR IN. Fuck can',t cause I'm a weak ASSSSSS./


-Briefs residence.-

'Friend Vegeta.'

-Okay dear, come in-

 /BLEEEEEEEEEEEECH I'm NO dear, I'll eat you woman./ the door opened and a dumb blonde greeted me. charming. I could push her over without problem even in this meagre body.


'He's training now …I'm not sure if he'd like you coming in.' she took my ARM unasked. 'Oh the intercom how silly of me. Come here, here is the button to talk to him. A screen comes down, very neat all. Bye-bye.'

'Bye…' Someone should kill her. Poor thing was clueless. I could be a burglar for crying out loud. I slammed it.

'WHAT.' A sweaty prince greeted. 'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU.'

/YOU GOT TO HELP ME! YEMA SCREWED ME UP. I'M Bardock I WANNA BE DEAD AGAIN!/

'What? Slower?'
/I am Bardock. Saiyan. Kakarotto's father, I was an ass in hell so he and your dear FATHER kicked me in this ass of a Chikyuu body. Kindly shoot me or fix me a Saiyan body!/


'Okay…quite clear…wait there.'

/FINALLLLYYYYYYYY…./

'Stop being so dammed frustrated.'

/I WAS FOR THE LAST DAMNED DECADES LEAVE ME BE DAMNIT./
/I WON'T,  SHUT YOUR TRAP OR I'LL KICK YOU OUT ON YOU THIRD CLASS ASS./
/FINE, I'll wait./ I smirked. That was nice.

'Who are you?'
'Bardock.'

'WHAT?'
'Know me?' I asked stunned. The blue head blinked at me with a squirt. 'Mate Vegeta?'

'Yeah…'
'Bulma?'

'Yes…'
'Prince?' I pointed at the squirt.

'Your not very talkative. I flushed.

/ITS YOUR DAMNED STANDARD LANGUAGE IT SUCKS./

'It doesn't suck, you just don't know it and it bites your third class ass. Now lay off my Onna.'
'Am not…'
'What? Not laying off?'

/Pestering your onna and it DOES suck./
'You just need practice.'

'Um what is he speaking about?'
'He's moody cause he can't speak standard.'
'What does he know then?'
'Saiyan?'

'So he's really Bardock?'
/OH PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME. I'LL JOIN THE FUCKING LAMP HERE AND BE PRETTY./
'Maybe we should call his brat…'

/now you are doing it too damnit!/
'FINE, want me to call Kakarotto here or not?'

/what ever. I'm a dammed CHIKYUU how can the boy be proud of me I bet I can't fly either!/

'Try.' The prince stated. FEEHHHHHH.
'FINE.' I gritted my teeth and stood ready. And tried some more. Howling I stomped down the hall and trashed earlier spotted lamp./I CAAAAANTTTT. DAMN YOU YEMAAAAAA/

'Um Vegeta, I don't know him but even without his Saiyan powers he'll trash our house…'
'Right…SARAHHHHH'

'YEAH WHAT?'
'COME HERE.' Another onna joined. Happy day.
'I need to call Kakarotto, you try to keep him from braking things, you scram with the Chibi.'
/OHHHH SO NOW I'LL KILL YOUR ONNA NICEEEEE LOTS OF TRUST! DAMN YOU ALL INGRATES./

/What are you howling about./ I stopped. /You don't know?/ I stammered to the prince.
/know what?/ I inhaled.

/I TRIED TO WARN THOSE LAME BASTARDS, ZORN KICKED ME OUT KING GONE, TRIED TO WARN COMMAND KICKED ME OUT, WARNED CANTEENS KICKED ME OUT LAUGHING. FREEZA CAME I SHOT AT HIM I WAS BLOWN UP WITH PLANET I'M PISSED./

/Noted. Anything else?/
/I had visions after a blow to the neck, had visions, saw my dead crew, was blasted by Dodo, lived, dragged my carcass to the planet got rejected couple of times, hurt and leaking I fought and I still died damnit! AND NOW I'M A CHIKYUU WITH OUT ANY POWERRRR. I HATE ITTTT./


/That bites…/ The prince snickered.

/AND MY BRATS KILL EACHITHER TOOOOO./

/Do you mind if I kill him?/ he asked FEEEEEEEeeh.
/No, you're a prince for crying out loud, if he Gotto die, kill him, but not by his siblings!/

'Their all dead…'
/I know I won't have more or they kill each other again. Must have bad DNA./

/Maybe your onna's?/

/The bitches./


'Anyways the call.' He walked away as I trashed some more. A hand smacked my cheek and I felt it. Cross onna two peered at me.
'STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD, YOU'RE A DISGRACE.' Huh? 'SIT DOWN AND WAIT.' Huh? She shoved me to a couch and pushed me down. Then flopped beside me with a steel spoon. 'Move and get hurt, I swear it. Your not a Saiyan now and I can kick your ass now.'

/She right?/ I asked weary.

/With that spoon? You bet./ I winched at a whack on my skull.

'Standard. I don't give a fuck about how crappy it is.'
'Fine ONNA. Feh. Won't talk, be couch.'

****

'Kakarotto get your ass here pronto. Surprise. YES NOW. No not AFTER dinner. It's hard to contain! No it's not a beast. Acts like one but no. YES N…now. Follow me.' I walked with him to the living room and pointed at Bardock. Who yanked his flimsy hair aside and glared at Kakarotto. What now?

/DAMNIT HE LOOKS LIKE MEEEE./ whack…I grabbed the spoon and tried to bend it. Oh come on. Tossed it back through a window.
'Don't hit me. Hit YOU.'
'Bite me.' She replied.
'Not yet. Night?' She rose and kicked his crutch. Gasping he doubled over and blinked away a tear. I had to laugh so hard. He wheezed. Bwahaha. Glaring with hate at Sarah. I had to retreat for awhile.

***

I glared at Bardock as I rubbed my knee. Ouch.

'Kakarotto, this is your father. Yema? I don't know who that is but Vegeta said he messed up.' The fool started howling in Saiyan again. But as Vegeta was the only one who understood it. It was useless.

'We can't understand you.' I snickered bemused. 'You can howl all you want.' He stopped and glared death glares. I shrugged them off. Vegeta returned seemingly recomposing himself.

'Translator at work, Bardock shoot…'
/ASSSS I can't…/

/Metaphor, tell your brat what you want./
/I don't KNOW I didn't PLAN this/
'Well to put it in a simple way, Yema stuffed Bardock's soul in a Chikyuu body and he's not happy.'
'I noticed…it's really my dad?'

/YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BRAT./
'He said yes. Bardock behave man, hissing won't help.'

/Do any of these Chikyuu know how to get my body BACK?/
'He wants his old body back. Tough luck Bardock it blew up 20 years ago?'
/I know…/ deflated he sagged. I peered at him as I sat down. Smiling a little at him. I knew how it was to be frustrated.

'This isn't working. Dad can you understand what we say?'
'Yes.'
'You can't speak it well?'
'No.'
'Then I have to learn it. Can I scan your mind to pick up linguistics?'


/What did he say? I didn't follow./
/He wants to telepathically scan your head to learn Saiyan./
'fine.' /Bonding I'll say./
'Father-son bonding.' Vegeta stated. Kakarotto laughed.
'I like your humor, it won't hurt okay?' he nodded.

***

Bet no one got brain scanned by their brats. HAH well I was about too. He put his hand on my damned thing skull with the fucking wimpy hair. I closed my eyes and waited. Rapidly I saw images and feelings pass by. Whoooohooo damned speedy here. HOLD on, no need to go to your conception brat…nor your brothers…No not that either. HOLD IT FUCK YOU…he saw damn… NOT MY CHILDHOOD TOO. DAMN your thorough. Can't I have SOME privacy! I tried to remove his hand but it wouldn't budge. DAMN YOU NOSY BRAT! Just like your MOTHER. Fine. FINE. Scan all you want damnit. Fucking life of mine is a frigging soap opera. Do enjoy. Even my fucked up after life.

/I had to dig in deep to learn it. Sorry./
/Feh, done? Is it a bit orderly make the mess clean it up too./

/I just read it dad. Shish I did scream allot./
/Loud little brat you were. And I was right about you TOO. Your strong as hell. I knew it./
/Well thanks to Celipa you did come to see me./

/Actually I was tanked and ran past the Chibi ward./
/You called me a weakling…/
/YES…my mistake I was there only briefly. About the body…I WANT MINE BACK…/

/Calm down…would you like to meet your grand sons?/
/NOT LIKE THIS, I'M ALREADY EMBARREST YOU SEE ME LIKE THIS. I'M FRIGGING WEEEAAAKK./ I got up and started stalking restless.

/Watch out for the wench with spoon she has a nasty crutch kick…/
/That's a friend of Vegeta's./
/Go fig. Banshee. I need my body I won't see them before. I hate this hair I hate this low leveled body. It can't even BE read so low it is. I can't fly…I can't defend myself or YOU. That's a fathers job./

/I know…but ah…I'm stronger anyway…even stronger then Vegeta if it helps./
/I know. I heard about you in that hell dump. You're the only…oh I forgot./ I turned and slammed him hard. Crying I cradled my hand. No second blow…oucchhhh.


/Taurus deserved to die, he was a rogue anyway…gawdddd….my hand…/ he peered confused at me. /You killed my eldest son, he only did as ordered. DAMN this smarts…damn I think I broke it…DAMNNNN I did break it…hard headed…grrrr./


'Ah Gokuu hi!' the onna of Vegeta returned as I shook my hand and winched as it grinded a bit. So I nestled it back under my arm. Old trick…GAWWD it throbbed.
/YOUR FAULT YEMMA, HORNED FREAK SHOW./
/Father calm down./ 'Hi Bulma. Question, can you clone me.' The onna dropped the glass she held.

'Clone you? Why?'
'Um…my dad…that's him and he wants his body back, and I remember Raditsu saying I looked like him so…He's really…REALLY unhappy…'


/Understatement. I'm going for a walk./ Winching I held my hand, and stalked through the house, got lost once and found my way onto the lawn. Located a…tree. So it had leafs. Screw leafs. Tree. MY tree now. Growling climbed up. Hissing when my hand had to hold some weight. Definitely broken. Finally I found a branch I liked and lay panting down. I couldn't remember a time that a broken arm smart this much. Maybe I've been dead for too long and I've grown soft.

An hour passed when I heard foot steps. Damn I didn't want anyone now.
'GO.' I tried with a sleeve to erases some tell tale signs.
'Dad? We have an idea…'
'Shoot, don't come in.' damnit, my own brat seeing me weep. I couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing.
'Are you okay? Your voice seems hoarse…'
'No. not okay. Tell.'

'Well cloning…easy. For soul switch…we asked a witch and she's willing to help. In about a week you can have your…my body.' Aw crap…why couldn't I stop bawling like a fucking Chibi. I wiped with the wrong arm, painful I waved and crashed down. Aw…gawd…damnit…
'Fock…' I peered around and found I hadn't fallen down at all but was held by that oath of a brat of mine. Damned quick…

'your quick…'

'That was ea…um dad?' he put me down. Damned brat was taller. And caught something off my check. Hissing I turned around. FOOOOOCCCCKKKKK.


'It's not a shame to cry…' he muttered behind me. FEHHHHH wimp.

'Yes it is.'

'Vegeta cried once.'
/When he was DYING. I'm not dying. Yet./
'Lets go for a walk…'
/They'll see./
'Nope. Hold my hand and close your eyes.' Sighing I put my good hand on his arm and did. More rustling trees. Stunned I glanced around at a forest around us.

/How did…/
/instant transmission. Or translocation or what ever. I can zap from A to B./
/Convenient for battle. Now then. A stroll. Where to and talk about what. I have nothing to say./
/How about if I tell you about your grandchildren./

/I remember, how many?/

/2. two boys. Goten looks like us./
/HAH, always the second born…runs in the family. And the third as well. DNA fluke./
/Well dad, I think I'm kinda good looking…/
/You are kid, you have the best I had to offer./

***

I peered at the dead clone. Well not dead.

/Doesn't it have a soul?/
/Nope. Vacant./ Vegeta replied.
/Ready dad? Baabaa is on her way./
/ready for a soul switch,…well…SURE I was born ready. Not. What can go wrong? I get to be a ghost again? Has it's pro's. I can beat up Yema. And your father, no offence but this was back stabbing./

/Go ahead. Wasn't nice to do so without a warning or agreement./
'I'm here were is he? Oh…well I like him better in that body. He can do less damage.'
/Oh woman I would love to smother you for that, but I need you first./


'Unlike some I can understand Saiyan.'/SHUT UP./ I laughed My luck…she knew my language.
'Fine Bardock lay down, it's a one timer, so shut up, don't move and let the real witch be at work here.'

/What ever. Hurry woman./

/PUSHY./
/You bet. Please?/
/Better. Very well. Close your eyes and count to ten./
/goody, I think I can do ten. Feh. 10…9….8…7…6…/ I sneered.


/5…4…3…2…1…0…NOW WHAT ONNA?/
'Open your eyes loud mouth.' I sat up and flexed my Unharmed hand…ohhhh yeahhh. Smirking dark I peered at my hands and peered at my feet. OHHHH YEAH. Bardock was BACK in business. Hold on…something…was… I patted my left cheek. No…no…NONONO…
/MY SCARRRR my trait mark…where is it?/

/I already have the knife ready./ I peered at Vegeta.
/you remember how it looked?/
/How could I forget, your creation of the sphere./ I smirking stood before him. /Do you want the blast or knife?/
/Blast, you know I don't do half jobs./
/true./

/What are you talking about you two? Dad you look great, why mess it up?/
/because I'm not complete without my scar. It's part of my identity. Vegeta?/ A blast cut my cheek. Winching I cupped it. Damn that hurt. I laughed soar.


'Forgot hurt…'
'I bet…you were knock out at the time. You were tanked.'
'Ah.' I smirked as I let go of my burning cheek. The black hared onna stuffed ice packets against it. FEEEH I was no wimp.
'Well mister masochist. Content?' she muttered.
'Extremely.' I smirked. Impatiently shoving her back. Then grabbed the ice pack anyway cause it did help a bit.


'I fixed you some clothes, bet we cannot keep you apart…what happened to your face?' Vegeta's onna.
'Scar.' I smirked content.
'And he's happy too…men…oh well here you go. As you ordered a black armor with green padding, red stuff and the boots.' She put the things down as I shooed them all out. Life…didn't suck as much anymore.


'Okay dad you have to learn to use your new powers…'
'New powers? AH I can speak standard! Happy day.' I smirked.
'Nice side affect…' he mused. Feh, side affect…It's in the DNA brat. 'Um if I'm right…you can turn super Saiyan as well now. Oh uh…dad? Shouldn't you fix that?' He pointed at my cheek…what? OH that.

'It'll dry.'
'Your dripping all over my linoleum!' Vegeta's onna hissed. I ignored her whine.
'It's amazing actually, I created You, and you created me…that's weird.' I snickered.

'Well I didn't…the machine did…'
'I'm your father and you sired me.' We started laughing.
'Like father and son and son and father…I think…' Vegeta muttered.

'FOOD.' I bolted around the group and raced to the kitchen. Feh black hared onna at the fridge. Too bad for her. 'Suggestion. Move away from the fridge, I'm going to loot it.' I hit the breaks when she turned slowly. Shish they can turn faster then that.


'Is that so?'
'Yes, move over.' I reached over her and grabbed some milk cartons. Grunting I worked around her as she didn't move and snickering walked to the table and started feeding.
'Vegeta…was my dad always like that?'
'Oh him? If memory serves he used to fight with his team over food. For the fun of it.'
'WOMAN MOVE OVER.'
'MAKE ME. OUF…ass…' I snickering had put her On the fridge and looted it gleefully on.

'Father that's abusing your new body.'
'SO? I'm starving.'
'You Kakarotto have allot to tell your father about this planet.' Vegeta snickered as I yanked her legs apart and strolled off with steaks. Now to toast it a bit and food. I tossed it up and threw a blast at it. Pale I peered at the blue sky. Um…
'You have a new window…where is more steak?' Damn that was easy… but now I knew I had allot to learn. How strong WAS I now? Worried my brat peered at me. 'Look it was an accident…' he nodded as I felt idiotic for tying t explain to my brat in the first place.' I'm hunting for fish instead.' I muttered and rose. Could I fly now? I walked out and instantly was above the clouds. WHOAAAA fast…hehehe.


'I'll show you my place.' He beamed.
'You like fish too?' I stammered.
'Love it, can't eat enough.' I laughed. Definitely my spawn. Got Celipa puking one time.

*~*~*