A/N: Read this and weep! This is an extremely sad story full of surprises and mountain toads! I am the original flame thrower! YOU CANT GIVE ME MY COME-UPPANCE!!!

Harry walked along the dark corridors, muttering quick spells under his breath. "Foolidooliwoodgka Foolidooliwoodgka!!!!"

Suddenly, a gigantic mountain toad appeared in front of him. He shrieked in surprise and on hearing his scream, Hermione entered.

She grabbed her wand from her robe and pointed it furiously at the toad! "HAHA,' she screamed. "I'm going to JILL you with my mighty powers. I always wanted to JILL you. I was just waiting for the right time. Harry this, Harry that. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? Now, with the sudden and confusing appearance of the toad I can finally do what I have always secretly longed to do. Vicousmalicous!"

All is good now that Harry is making love to the toad and conceptionating baby hippopotamuses who are producing cakes in a caldron. Hermione cried in frustration and agony for Voldermort had come to kill the baby hippos.

Voldermort had a wart on his nose. This was not an ordinary wart. Something about this wart suggested he had melanoma.

"Good afternoon John Howard" the news reporter said.

"You brag about been modest Jonny!!!!"

And then Harry feel to his death. Voldermort cried. Hermione tooted the horn that appeared.

And then Harry died.

And then Emma smelt funny.

A/N: Please review us. We're just two small confused children. I emphasise the small. It is illegal to JILL.