Chapter Four: Aftermath
Author's Note: *grins* Suppose I rather shocked some of you with my last chapter. Well, that was rather my intention. I'm evil, am I not? Ah, wickedness is bliss.
This chapter was really not supposed to be in existence. I was going to tie both boys' contemplation of the kiss into the chapter that would have been chapter four, but a comment Storm made got me thinking about delving deeper into Snape's psyche. And so this chapter was born.
Confused yet? I am.
* * *
Night had fallen and Hogwarts lay sleeping. But two black eyes still peered brightly into the darkness. Sleep had eluded Severus Snape tonight. And little wonder. The twelve-year-old had much to think about.
His mind swirled with twisted thoughts and tangled emotions, each bumping into each other and becoming more befuddled than they had been already. An enormous scream of frustration and pent-up emotion threatened to explode from his throat and break the perfect silence.
He sat up in bad and threw the covers off of himself, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The contact of his bare feet with the freezing floor sufficed to shock his overwhelmed system and seemed to sort some of his thoughts into their proper place.
Lucius had kissed him.
Really, truly kissed him.
Not just some innocent kiss shared by brothers upon parting, but a kiss raw with... well, he wasn't quite sure what. Until today, he'd never felt such things or even thought about feeling them. Somehow, it wasn't right.
Then why had it felt so bloody good?
He shook his head. He wouldn't dwell on that right now. Back to the basics. Go about this like... like a potion. He would evaluate everything like ingredients to be attributed to the kiss.
It wasn't as if he were completely dull in the concept of kissing. He'd seen it been done by the older Hogwarts students as they snogged in the halls before class. Of course, then he'd thought it a disgusting pastime. After all, who would want to touch a girl in that way? Not that he'd ever thought about touching *anyone* in that way... but with girls, it was worse. Girls were... well... they were certainly nothing special. He didn't really see the appeal.
On nights when he'd stayed up with Lucius last year in the third years' dorm, he'd heard the boys talking about their first kiss. Some had been kissed as first years even. Somehow, it had always ended up awkward and sloppy with a random girl they'd ended up being disgusted by the next day.
That was one thing that Snape could be thankful of. His first kiss had been with his best friend. And best friends were forever, right? Kiss or not, he would certainly never hate Lucius.
Right?
He nodded firmly, answering his own question. Of course right.
It was just a kiss, after all. It wasn't like it would change anything or make either of them different. It had been... impulsive, spur-of-the-moment. One of those things you did without even thinking about it. It surely wouldn't happen again. So there was no use dwelling on it.
Then why couldn't he stop thinking about it?
He flopped back into his pillows, his black hair splaying out on the pillowcase. He would just sleep. Sleep was good. Sleep would bring tomorrow, and tomorrow would bring a day where he wouldn't have to think about such things anymore.
But when he closed his eyes, all he saw was Lucius.
* * *
When Lucius Malfoy entered the second years' dorm, he didn't move nearly as gracefully as he normally did, and there were darkening circles under his pale eyes. Instead of dumping Severus off of his bed as he usually did, he sat on the side and just stared at the sleeping boy.
He slept on his back, one arm flung above his head, the other clutching his sheets. His mouth was slightly open and long black lashes fluttered over pale, smooth skin. Lucius wanted to slip beneath the covers with him, wrap his arms around his friend and join him in whatever happy dream he was having.
But there were things to be discussed. So instead of bending to place a kiss on Severus' cheek, he touched the boy's shoulder. As if hardly asleep, his eyes flew open and he gazed up at Lucius. He noted the telltale signs of uneasy sleep in Snape's bloodshot eyes, one of the same signs he shared. "We need to talk," Malfoy told him, rising and heading toward the exit.
Without bothering to change into his Hogwarts robes, Snape slid from his bed and followed silently. He had grown quite apt in mimicking the elder Slytherin's way of walking without so much as making a sound. He hurried to keep up with Lucius' much-longer strides as they took a side exit into a corridor Severus had never seen before. But he didn't dare ask where they were going.
The corridor eventually opened into a small room, lit by a single torch on the wall. The glow cast strange shadows on Lucius' white-blonde hair and etched out the lines in his strong face. Snape watched him, fascinated. "We need to talk," he repeated. Snape could only nod. "If you want to forget about yesterday," he began, looking very much as if the words pained him, "you can. I won't ever speak of it again to you. But you forgetting it won't change the fact that it happened, Severus. You do know that, don't you?"
"Y-yes," he managed.
"I wanted it to happen, Severus. I did. And I would want it to happen again... but if you don't..." he trailed off, staring suddenly at the wall. The silence between them was palpable. Snape sunk to the floor, pressing his back against the firm bricks. Lucius dropped to his knees in front of him, taking one of his hands. "I don't know why I did it... but I don't think it was bad."
Slowly, Snape shook his head. "No, it wasn't bad," he whispered, shivering suddenly.
"Oh, Merlin... you're cold. Forgive me, I should have let you change... or at least put some shoes on. Bloody hell, Severus, you should know to speak up to me." He swung the robe off his shoulders and wrapped it around Snape's form.
"Thanks," he mumbled, staring very seriously at a crack in the ground. Lucius sat next to him, his eyes fixed upwards. Neither said a word, afraid of what the consequences would be. Finally, Severus made himself look at his friend. His eyes were closed and his lips slightly apart, breath flowing easily over them. He reached out and put his hand on Lucius' knee. "We could kiss again, I suppose."
At the words, his eyes flew open and he turned to Snape as if in disbelief. "Are you certain, Severus? I don't want you to not want it."
The younger one shrugged with a smile. "It couldn't hurt anything, could it?"
Lucius shook his head, his grey eyes quite large. "Not a thing, Severus, not a thing."
"Good." And so he leaned forward and very hesitatingly pressed his lips to Lucius'.
END CHAPTER FOUR
Author's Note: *grins* Suppose I rather shocked some of you with my last chapter. Well, that was rather my intention. I'm evil, am I not? Ah, wickedness is bliss.
This chapter was really not supposed to be in existence. I was going to tie both boys' contemplation of the kiss into the chapter that would have been chapter four, but a comment Storm made got me thinking about delving deeper into Snape's psyche. And so this chapter was born.
Confused yet? I am.
* * *
Night had fallen and Hogwarts lay sleeping. But two black eyes still peered brightly into the darkness. Sleep had eluded Severus Snape tonight. And little wonder. The twelve-year-old had much to think about.
His mind swirled with twisted thoughts and tangled emotions, each bumping into each other and becoming more befuddled than they had been already. An enormous scream of frustration and pent-up emotion threatened to explode from his throat and break the perfect silence.
He sat up in bad and threw the covers off of himself, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The contact of his bare feet with the freezing floor sufficed to shock his overwhelmed system and seemed to sort some of his thoughts into their proper place.
Lucius had kissed him.
Really, truly kissed him.
Not just some innocent kiss shared by brothers upon parting, but a kiss raw with... well, he wasn't quite sure what. Until today, he'd never felt such things or even thought about feeling them. Somehow, it wasn't right.
Then why had it felt so bloody good?
He shook his head. He wouldn't dwell on that right now. Back to the basics. Go about this like... like a potion. He would evaluate everything like ingredients to be attributed to the kiss.
It wasn't as if he were completely dull in the concept of kissing. He'd seen it been done by the older Hogwarts students as they snogged in the halls before class. Of course, then he'd thought it a disgusting pastime. After all, who would want to touch a girl in that way? Not that he'd ever thought about touching *anyone* in that way... but with girls, it was worse. Girls were... well... they were certainly nothing special. He didn't really see the appeal.
On nights when he'd stayed up with Lucius last year in the third years' dorm, he'd heard the boys talking about their first kiss. Some had been kissed as first years even. Somehow, it had always ended up awkward and sloppy with a random girl they'd ended up being disgusted by the next day.
That was one thing that Snape could be thankful of. His first kiss had been with his best friend. And best friends were forever, right? Kiss or not, he would certainly never hate Lucius.
Right?
He nodded firmly, answering his own question. Of course right.
It was just a kiss, after all. It wasn't like it would change anything or make either of them different. It had been... impulsive, spur-of-the-moment. One of those things you did without even thinking about it. It surely wouldn't happen again. So there was no use dwelling on it.
Then why couldn't he stop thinking about it?
He flopped back into his pillows, his black hair splaying out on the pillowcase. He would just sleep. Sleep was good. Sleep would bring tomorrow, and tomorrow would bring a day where he wouldn't have to think about such things anymore.
But when he closed his eyes, all he saw was Lucius.
* * *
When Lucius Malfoy entered the second years' dorm, he didn't move nearly as gracefully as he normally did, and there were darkening circles under his pale eyes. Instead of dumping Severus off of his bed as he usually did, he sat on the side and just stared at the sleeping boy.
He slept on his back, one arm flung above his head, the other clutching his sheets. His mouth was slightly open and long black lashes fluttered over pale, smooth skin. Lucius wanted to slip beneath the covers with him, wrap his arms around his friend and join him in whatever happy dream he was having.
But there were things to be discussed. So instead of bending to place a kiss on Severus' cheek, he touched the boy's shoulder. As if hardly asleep, his eyes flew open and he gazed up at Lucius. He noted the telltale signs of uneasy sleep in Snape's bloodshot eyes, one of the same signs he shared. "We need to talk," Malfoy told him, rising and heading toward the exit.
Without bothering to change into his Hogwarts robes, Snape slid from his bed and followed silently. He had grown quite apt in mimicking the elder Slytherin's way of walking without so much as making a sound. He hurried to keep up with Lucius' much-longer strides as they took a side exit into a corridor Severus had never seen before. But he didn't dare ask where they were going.
The corridor eventually opened into a small room, lit by a single torch on the wall. The glow cast strange shadows on Lucius' white-blonde hair and etched out the lines in his strong face. Snape watched him, fascinated. "We need to talk," he repeated. Snape could only nod. "If you want to forget about yesterday," he began, looking very much as if the words pained him, "you can. I won't ever speak of it again to you. But you forgetting it won't change the fact that it happened, Severus. You do know that, don't you?"
"Y-yes," he managed.
"I wanted it to happen, Severus. I did. And I would want it to happen again... but if you don't..." he trailed off, staring suddenly at the wall. The silence between them was palpable. Snape sunk to the floor, pressing his back against the firm bricks. Lucius dropped to his knees in front of him, taking one of his hands. "I don't know why I did it... but I don't think it was bad."
Slowly, Snape shook his head. "No, it wasn't bad," he whispered, shivering suddenly.
"Oh, Merlin... you're cold. Forgive me, I should have let you change... or at least put some shoes on. Bloody hell, Severus, you should know to speak up to me." He swung the robe off his shoulders and wrapped it around Snape's form.
"Thanks," he mumbled, staring very seriously at a crack in the ground. Lucius sat next to him, his eyes fixed upwards. Neither said a word, afraid of what the consequences would be. Finally, Severus made himself look at his friend. His eyes were closed and his lips slightly apart, breath flowing easily over them. He reached out and put his hand on Lucius' knee. "We could kiss again, I suppose."
At the words, his eyes flew open and he turned to Snape as if in disbelief. "Are you certain, Severus? I don't want you to not want it."
The younger one shrugged with a smile. "It couldn't hurt anything, could it?"
Lucius shook his head, his grey eyes quite large. "Not a thing, Severus, not a thing."
"Good." And so he leaned forward and very hesitatingly pressed his lips to Lucius'.
END CHAPTER FOUR