Disclaimer: Four months and nine days 'til Christmas, so get saving! I may not own the HP lot yet, but I will!! Donations welcome.
A/N: I won't be updating this for an age, cuz I'm going on holiday to Devon – Land of the cream tea, scones and… THE WEASLEYS!!!!! What do you reckon the chances are of me stumbling upon The Burrow? Slim to none? Bugger. I guess I'll just have to find some OTHER way to kidnap Ron and Percy. And the twins. And Bill and Charlie. Ginny can come too… and Arthur and Molly. And if Harry and Hermione happen to be there… Oh, and you do all know that these societies aren't real, don't you? It's just Hermione's vivid imagination.
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History of Magic notes
Hermione, are you alright?
Yes Ron, I'm fine.
Well, are you mad at me then?
No Ron, I'm not.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Positive?
No.
I knew it. I knew you were upset. See, I TOLD you I could be sensitive. What's the matter?
Nothing.
Why are you so quiet then?
I'm not quiet.
Yes you are. You haven't spoken more than three words all morning.
It's nothing Ron. DROP IT.
Hermione, it's obviously not nothing. Just tell me, dammit.
Ron, if you don't stop passing me notes right this second I will hex you. I mean it.
Fine. Don't tell me. It's not as though I'm one of your best friends or anything. You don't have to tell me anything. Forget I asked.
Transfiguration Notes
Hermione, why are you upset with Ron?
Hermione, would you just answer please?
HERMIONE!!!
You shouldn't be passing notes in Transfiguration, Harry.
Well if you just tell me what Ron did quickly, then I'll stop.
Why do you assume Ron did something?
You said he did.
Oh. It's nothing.
Hermione, stop being stupid. Just talk to Ron. He's upset you know.
And I'm not?
I wouldn't know, seeing as you're not telling me anything.
Hermione?
Hermione, I didn't mean that.
I take it back. Forget I ever said it. Just talk to Ron, please, for the love of ANYTHING. I hate it when you two fight.
Fine. I'll talk to him. Happy?
Indubitably so.
Dear Hermione,
Do you want to be called Hermione? Do you prefer Herm? Or Mione? Betty, Patsy, Lilah? If you want me to call you anything, just say. Or if you don't want me to call you by any shortened version, just yell at me. Like, I HATE being called Ellie. Anyone who calls me Ellie is, like, hated forever. Unless they apologise and didn't mean to or whatever. Still, I really hate it.
Oh! Your friend! Is she ok? Did she show up? Had she eloped? She's not pregnant is she? Your life sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than mine. The most dramatic thing that ever happens is that Lorena and me fall out or something. No one ever ELOPES. But, your friend might not have… did you manage to calm down her friend? Parvati?
Actually, I believe you that you've never been interested in Harry in that way. A bit disappointing for the gossipy side of me, but still. I kind of get the feeling that you have your sights set somewhere else… you know what I mean? Hehe. Sorry.
I'm glad you like the unicorn. You should definitely name it. What name? I'm not sure. Name it after someone or something. Like… me! Elena the Unicorn. Hrm… doesn't sound as good as Elena the Elephant. Bah. I'm really bad at thinking up names. My parents asked me what I wanted to call Katie and I suggested Mantequilla, cuz I'd heard Spanish people say it, and it sounded pretty. Unfortunately, it means butter… so if I'd had my way, poor Katie would be Mantequilla Calamares – Butter Squid. So as you can see, I'm really not the person to ask.
Funny you should mention the Chudley Cannons – my dad is on their team! Hah! He wishes… but he does support them. He's got a season ticket, so I've seen them play a few matches over the years. Never seen them win though – it's been years since their last win, hasn't it? He always came home from games looking dead depressed. Your friend Ron actually supports them? I always thought my dad was the only one. And tell Ron that my unicorn is MOST DEFINITELY not cursed, and I'm hurt that he would think such a thing.
Speaking of cursed… Carlos got a rather… interesting letter this morning. He was sitting over at the Pavoreal (one of our six houses…I'll explain them later) table and I was eating my chorizo nice and peacefully, when I heard these agonised (possibly irritated, crazy and kinda scared) screams. So, naturally, I turned around, and Carlos had something creeping up his arm, but I couldn't see what, so I kinda casually walked over to their table to have a look. Guess what it was? I'll give you a little space to guess – write down your guesses if you want.
You didn't get it, did you? It was paisley. He had a paisley pattern creeping up his arm, spreading all over his body, even to his hair and face. And it was PURPLE and MAROON paisley. I've never seen him so mad. He started scrubbing at his arm, and one of his friends threw pumpkin juice on him to try and wash it off. It's quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. Tell Ron he is a GENIUS, and I worship at his feet. Carlos went to the hospital wing, but SeÔora Cicatrizarse hasn't been able to get rid of it yet. Oh… I have dreamed of a day like this for SO LONG.
O.W.L.s… are they like E.J.O.T.E.s? Exams you take at the end of your fifth year? If they are, our teachers have been droning on and on and bloody on about them for years. Years and years and years. I can't believe we only have one more year of hearing about them. But I suppose then we have to deal with O.R.O.s. Bloody exams. What's O.W.L.s stand for?
Foreign Studies is awful. Well, Plasta is. We learn about wizarding events from around the world, famous wizards from loads of different countries, and we learn about other wizarding schools and stuff, which is why we're writing to you. It'd be a lot more enjoyable if I didn't know there's gonna be some kind of follow up work.
Wow! Ron's got more siblings than me! I don't envy him at Christmas. That's another bad thing about big families – present buying is absolute HELL.
Right, I told you I'd explain about the six houses, didn't I? They are: Urraca, Alondra, Petirrojo, Pavoreal, {guila and Reyezuelo – all named after birds. I'm in Petirrojo (robin) house, which I personally think is the nicest. Pavoreal (peacock) is definitely the worst, cuz they're just like their namesake – extremely vain and (pardon my English) up themselves. I don't know why they're all named after birds, or whose idea it was. I know, like nothing about the history of IZZ. I didn't even know when it was founded. What are the houses at Hogwarts?
Well, better go now, cuz I have a MOUNTAIN of homework.
Write soon,
Elena
Dear Ms Granger,
We hear you are fighting with one of your best friends. If this continues, we may have to revoke your membership – you will give us a bad name. However, we also hear that you have agreed to talk to him. This is good. With any luck you should be best of friends again this evening. If not… we give you until Friday.
Yours sincerely,
Best Friends Club
Dear Elena,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU GET THE FEELING MY SIGHTS ARE SET ELSEWHERE??? Where elsewhere???? Please explain yourself. I don't know what you mean.
In other news, I'm fighting with Ron. Again. We're always fighting, actually, and it drives Harry mad. Can't say I'm too keen on it either, at least not when it's serious. It's not as bad as it sometimes is – I'm just not talking to Ron because I overheard him say something about me never doing anything except hanging around the library. I might have overreacted a little… I don't think he meant it in a mean way. But then I wouldn't tell him what was wrong and he got mad at me, so now he's not talking to me either. Harry persuaded me to talk to him and sort it out, so I had to, you know? Harry hates it that we fight all the time, and I just felt really, really bad about it. I couldn't say no.
Lavender showed up at 7pm the next day – turned out she'd spent the whole day sitting by the lake with Seamus, her boyfriend. So no massive drama there.
I came up with a name for my unicorn – Mantequilla. It is a very pretty name, and practically no one here speaks Spanish, so they won't know it's called Butter. So it's kind of named in your honour.
I get the feeling that you would really get on well with Ron. And not just because you have Chudley Cannons tickets – although that would certainly help… I can't believe he turned that boy PAISLEY. I really can't. Paisley?? Why paisley? His pyjamas are paisley I suppose… maybe he likes it? That boy never ceases to amaze me.
O.W.L.s are indeed exams at the end of fifth year. Ordinary Wizarding Levels. Then in our 7th year we have N.E.W.T.s (Nasty Exhausting Wizarding Tests). What do E.J.O.T.E. and O.R.O. stand for? Are they actual words as well, like owls and newts? I've been trying to learn a little Spanish but there are no real resources here – I don't suppose you could teach me a little, could you? Just a few useful phrases – I'll try and learn it properly in the summer holidays.
Foreign Studies sounds incredibly interesting, especially learning about other wizarding schools. If you have to do a project on Hogwarts, might I suggest Hogwarts, A History? It has everything you could ever possibly need to know. Although it does skim over some of the nastier aspects of the school… house elves for example. Not once in over 1000 pages are they mentioned, despite the fact that there are more here than in any other wizarding dwelling in the whole of Britain. It's disgusting.
It's fascinating to hear all about the houses at your school. Really, it is. What are the other four houses called in English? How are you sorted? I can't believe it doesn't mention any of this in our library. At Hogwarts we have Gryffindor (my house – definitely the nicest), Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Pavoreal sounds like Slytherin. Probably. A nasty piece of work, right?
I'd better go now, sorry this is so short. Ron's just come in here and Harry's looking at me meaningfully, so I'd better go and see if Ron wants to talk to me.
Wish me luck,
Hermione
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A/N 2: Sorry this is short, sorry there are notes, sorry there isn't much from the societies. I just wanted to get another chapter posted before I left. And it was lots of fun with a Spanish dictionary… ahem. But acronyms in a language I don't speak so well were SO hard to make. Gah!
Kaylin – I think I've been going through that phase for quite some time now…I don't know where you can get a copy of the book – aren't there any libraries nearer you? Or bookshops? If all else fails, they've probably got it on Amazon…
CuteSarah – Ron? Stop being a prat? But then he wouldn't be Ron anymore! 'Sides… Hermione loves his prattishness really… now if he would only open his bloody eyes, it'd all be sorted!
Rainsong – Thank you very much =) it was a great book wasn't it? One of a kind… unfortunately.
Hermione 2000 – I can't say! That'd be telling! Probably though… they're not gonna end up with anyone else at any rate because they are DESTINED, no matter what H/Hr shippers say… *glares and brandishes list of why R/Hr is best*
Li-chan – Thanks. Yeah, they were a bit mean, but what can I say? Hermione's a masochist with issues.