By: Pyreiel (AKA Blaze)
Email: pyreiel@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the TMNT characters.
COPYRIGHT: All original characters, worlds, and universes are under copy write by ShatteredWings Press and myself. And I do not take theft or plagiarism lightly and will prosecute to the full extent of the law. I will also bring physical harm down upon your being should I ever find you. That being said please enjoy the fic.
WARNING: Adult situations. This story is R and should not be viewed by anyone who isn't mature enough to handle it. Angst, angst and guess what MORE angst! Also Death, Violence and other dark things.
SUMMARY: It's hard to say enough without saying too much. Family means a lot more than some people think. Raphael finally comes to realize it with a little help from a dove.
NOTES: This story deals with a lot of things most people don't like to think about. I seriously caution you before reading it. This is NOT a happy story by any stretch of anyone's imagination
ARCHIVE: Ask me first.
Part I: Musings
Raphael stalked through the sewers mumbling and cursing under his breath. He got so tired of everyone always getting on him about the things he said and did. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. He couldn't do anything right as far as his brothers were concerned. And somehow he felt that Splinter had been more disappointed with him that he was with the others.
Raphael kicked a can down the tunnel and listened to the echo ring off the concrete walls. Alone, it's how he spent most of his time. If his brothers weren't too busy for him, they were harping on him. Leo was the worst. He never let up, and he never stopped. Raphael wondered if maybe Leo hated him for some reason, but he didn't know what it could be. Maybe his existence was all it took. Maybe Leo simply resented the fact that he was even alive.
Raphael shook his head his hands balled into fists. He was tired of these little pity parties he kept throwing for himself. He just wanted them to accept him as he was. Why did they dislike him so much? Mike was the nicest, He only drove Raphael crazy. Raphael knew it was because Mike didn't take the loneliness and isolation as well as the others. He has almost blown their cover more times than Raphael could count. He felt sorry for Mikey. Everyone saw him as the light hearted, happy go-lucky jokester. Raphael knew better. He had seen the sadness and depression deep in his brother's eyes. Maybe that's why he let Mikey get so close. Maybe that's why Raphael never left. He couldn't leave Mikey.
Don was another story all together. For all outward appearances it looked as id Raphael and Don got along great. That of course was far from the truth. Don seemed to enjoy making Raphael look like an idiot. Raphael kept telling himself that maybe Don didn't mean it. Maybe he didn't realize what he was doing. But one look into Don's eyes and Raphael knew that Don was very aware of what he was doing. Raphael just wished that he knew why. He didn't know what he did to make Don dislike him so much. He wished that he did know, so that maybe he could fix it. It's not like he enjoyed fighting with his brothers, as much as it may seem like it at times. He honestly hated it. They really were all he had. The were his Family.
It just seemed that as time went by, he was wanted less and less. Nothing drove those thoughts home faster than Leo. Raphael knew Leo had something against him. If Leo wasn't his brother Raphael would be sure that he hated him, and maybe Leo did. Although for once Raphael didn't care. Leo may be his brother, but he wasn't putting up with any more shit. He loved his family, but he just couldn't live with them any longer.
~TBC~