Chapter Eleven: Aftershocks Hit Hardest
Three weeks. The damned Evremondes stayed for three weeks. And during those days, Severus could feel himself slowly going mad. The bloody girl was always around, her damnable accent torturing his ears nearly as much as Lucius' laugh. Since she had arrived, Lucius' laughter had changed. He couldn't quite describe it. It was loud and raking, so different from the teasing chuckle he had always had before.
Before.
Had it been that long ago that they had shared a bed, shared a secret look? Three days, an eternity? There was no difference between the two, it seemed.
Voldemort stayed for the duration of their visit, presiding over wedding arrangements and each conversation. His green eyes missed nothing, including Severus' jealousy. Then again, it was hard to miss. The boy's eyes burned each time the two left the table together for another afternoon or evening stroll. He saw all of this, and was pleased. Things were coming together marvelously.
He had planned the little wedding purposefully to separate the two boys. Severus would make a much better disciple were he not so enamored with the Malfoy boy. And he had plans for the young Snape. Plans that would now go on unhindered, with Narcissa as the wedge. The divide between the two Slytherins was already growing wider.
He needed Severus' complete loyalty. Lucius was expendable... simply another mindless drone to cater to his every whim. But Severus... he had a mind and used it accordingly, young though he was. He knew that once the boy was grown that his abilities would be heightened with time and practice. With his support and services, none could fell him.
It was only a matter of time.
* * *
Severus lay across his bed, his pen poised above this half-finished Charms essay. Ink dripped, unhindered, from the quill onto the paper as the boy strained his ears to hear the faint conversation going on below. Narcissa and her parents were leaving, at last. He had not gone out to bid them farewell, unlike Lucius. But he was glad of their going, more than he could say. Now, perhaps, things could return to normal, return to the way they had been. The wedding was not until after the next school term, surely things could carry on as they had...
His door opened suddenly, revealing Lucius. Severus jumped from the surprise. "Are they gone?" he asked abruptly, wanting nothing but to pull the boy onto his bed.
"Yes," he growled irritably, raking a hand through his pale hair. "But the Lord wants to see you before he goes as well." He glanced down at the parchment. "You've ruined your essay, by the way." And then he was gone. Moments later, the door to Lucius room shut loudly and locked.
Snape cursed beneath his breath, crumpled the parchment, and thrust it towards the door that connected their two rooms. Then he rolled from his bed, tried briefly to make his lank hair presentable, and headed quickly downstairs.
Voldemort was waiting for him in the parlor, in much the same way as the day he had arrived with the Evremondes. He was seated by the window, legs crossed neatly, his robes pooling around him like a shadow. He smiled when Snape entered. "Ah, Severus. Come, sit." He motioned to a chair near him and the boy obeyed silently, staring at the floor. "I will be leaving today, you know."
"Yes, my Lord."
"Tell me, Severus... do you intend to marry?"
"No, sir," he said quickly... too quickly.
Voldemort raised an eyebrow. "Truly? You wouldn't like a bride such as Narcissa? I could arrange such a thing, you know... a beautiful girl to cater to your needs..."
"No. No... thank you."
"And there is no one waiting for you back at Hogwarts?"
"No."
"Pity. Then it seems," he said slowly, his thin lips curving around the words, "that you will be quite alone in the world once Lucius is married. He won't be needing you anymore, of course." Snape was silent, his fists clenching in his lap. "I know he invited you to remain here after your parents' unfortunate deaths, but I'm sure you know that you will simply be in the way. Three's a crowd, as the Muggles say. Perhaps you would consider residing with me? I have the means to provide for all you could want. And if you will not take a bride, then perhaps I could supply other... interests for you to occupy yourself with."
Severus looked up sharply, his dark eyes taking in Voldemort's smirking mouth and soulless eyes. And it was then that he realized it. He hated him... hated Voldemort. He had taken everything from him... his parents, his life... and now Lucius. He had taken the one thing that Snape had thought he would never lose. His nails dug into his palms as he stood and forced a smile. "Thank you, my Lord, for the offer. I'm afraid I can't answer it for certain either way at the moment."
"And why is this?"
"There is an entire school term before I will need new accommodations. You never know what will happen."
The Dark Lord nodded slowly. "Well spoken, Severus." He stared hard at him. "You will let me know of any decisions, will you not?"
"Of course."
"Very well." He rose and stepped forward, laying his hands on the boy's shoulders. His clawed fingers pressed into his skin through the material of his robes. "I will see you at the next meeting, young Severus. I may have an assignment for you."
His skin crawled at the unwelcome contact, but he inclined his head respectfully. "Yes, my Lord. Thank you."
Long fingers drew his chin up so that his face was turned towards Voldemort's. "It is my pleasure, Severus, to reward my faithful followers with what they deserve. Keep that in mind."
"Yes, my Lord," he repeated again, his anger burning deep in his stomach. I hate you, he wanted to say, longed to scream it, to tell Tom Riddle precisely what he could do with his rewards. But he simply gave the accustomed response, eyes respectfully averted, and kissed the Dark Lord's ring as it was held out expectantly before his face.
He stared after the door when Voldemort had gone, blood pooling beneath his cuticles where the nails had bit into tender skin. Then slowly, he came back to himself and made his way back up to his room. Lucius met him at the top of the stairs. "Is he gone then?" he asked coldly.
"Yes."
"Said goodbye to his pet, did he?"
Snape was taken aback by the venom in Lucius' voice. "What?"
"Well, you are his favorite, you know." Pale eyes traveled angrily over Snape's face. "You're the one he wanted all along. I was just part of the damn package. I'm expendable, something he had to get but doesn't really want."
"What are you talking about, Lucius?"
"Like you don't know. You thought I didn't know, did you? Thought I would just string along like a puppet? Well, I won't. I'm a Malfoy, dammit, and unlike you I have parents. Parents with connections. I can get whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want it. I don't need you, Snape." He glowered. "But you need me. Without me, you were nothing, just a scrawny reject at Hogwarts who happened to be slightly good at Potions. Fucking good for you. Who cares? Crabbe and Goyle could have killed you on sight. I stopped them. You owe everything you have now to me. Just remember that, Snape." He brushed past Severus and took the stairs two at a time, his robes flying behind him, leaving Snape standing wordlessly by the railing.
* * *
The last few days of summer were spent oddly, to say the least. Lucius went a full week before speaking to Snape again. When he did, it was only to open the door dividing them and tell him to "Come to bed."
If either had hoped that making love again would right the wrongs between them, they were both mistaken. For the first time, it felt simply wrong... forced, awkward. Both lay awake afterwards, silently unsatisfied.
There were several similar nights, nights with no words but an invitation to bed and a few gasped exclamations. On the night before their return to Hogwarts, in the aftermath of sex, Severus finally broke the silence. "I don't want to pretend anymore," he whispered into the darkness.
"About what?"
"About Voldemort. I don't want to do it anymore... don't want to be a Death Eater."
Lucius turned towards him with a start. "Don't ever say that again, Severus. Do you understand me? Never again. You can get killed for words like that. I should kill you for it." His pale eyes met Snape's. "Look. As long as you don't go against Voldemort or try anything stupidly heroic, things can go back to normal between us. I don't care what you feel, I don't want you to ever say anything like what you just did again. Do you hear?"
Snape stared back at him. "I hear you."
Malfoy grabbed Snape's wrist. "I thought you understood that when you got this, it was for life. There is no turning back. Not now, not ever. Our parents understood that and they expected us to do the same."
"What if they didn't? What if they're just scared? What if-" he was cut off as Lucius abruptly slapped him across the cheek.
"There are no 'what if's,' Snape. There is only The Cause. Now shut up. I don't want to have to hurt you. I just want things to be normal again." His eyes were no longer hardened, but pleading, and for a moment, Severus could almost see the old Lucius lurking there.
And the old Lucius knew, as did Severus, that things would never be normal again.
END CHAPTER ELEVEN
Notes: Immense apologies for the incredible delay between chapters. This story was giving me absolute hell. I restarted this chapter countless times until I could coax it into a semblance of a good story. Even now, it's lacking something, in my opinion. One more chapter, I'm imagining, or two tops, until the inevitable end.
Thanks for you patience and reviews.