Disclaimer: Still don't own them… *sniff*
A/N: Sorry I took a while… Devon was great, and I found somewhere that looked like The Burrow… A tree covered hilltop above a little village with in walking distance of the River Otter. Not far from Ottery St Mary or Upottery… Parental units got mad when I started squealing though. Oh, and some of the accented letters come out wrong. Dammit. Long live Percy Weasley!
HERMIONE!!! OVER HERE!! UNBELIEVABLY IMPORTANT!!!!
Hermione, have you seen my crystal ball? Please, please say you have – I have Divination first thing, and Professor Trelawney will KILL me if I forget it again. We're meant to try and see our one true love today, and so, you can understand, I really, REALLY need to find it.
Yours in Desperation,
Lavender
Lavender,
It's where you left it, on the cabinet in the corner. It's always there. It was there last week, and the week before. It has taken up PERMENANT RESIDENCE there. And another thing, how are you always losing everything? And why do you always ask me where it is? I can't keep track of everything you know. I have enough of my own problems.
Hermione
Hermione,
I think you know exactly what I mean when I say you have your sights set elsewhere. Believe me, I am never wrong about these things. It's like some kind of sixth sense. Trust me.
Fighting with Ron AGAIN? How often do you two fight? I get the impression this is a common occurrence… doesn't that annoy you a bit? Always fighting? Don't you ever get tired of it? I hate fighting with my friends. It makes me miserable, and I just snap at everyone, so I've just stopped. Cold turkey. No more fighting for Elena, oh no. And you know what? I feel better already. I am much happier than usual, I sleep well at night, and I've even started doing some homework. You should try it. It's great!
You want to learn some Spanish, do you? Just some useful phrases? Well, try this one. I think you'll find it very… handy. Hola! Me llamo Hermione. Estoy perdidamente con mi amigo mejor, Ron Weasley. Pienso esta muy guapo. You know what that means? Would you like to? It means… hang on, I'll give you a little space to guess first.
Right. It means… Hello! I am Hermione. I am head over heels in love with my best friend, Ron Weasley. I think he is very nice-looking. Let me know if this comes in handy…
Speaking of… how'd it go with trying to talk to him? Are you still fighting? Write me back as soon as you can and tell me. Glad to hear Lavender's alright too… although it would have been romantic if they HAD eloped.
Houses. You really want to hear more about our houses??? Well, Urraca means magpie, and they're generally quite cautious – not paranoid, just careful kinda people; Alondra means lark, and they're the house with performing talent – singing, acting etc; Petirrojo (my house) means robin, and we're the nice house, although I may be slightly biased; Pavoreal means peacock and they're all in love with themselves; Aguila means eagle, and they're the brave, daring house; and finally, Reyezuelo means wren, and they're the smartest house. That's pretty much it.
E.J.O.T.E.s and O.R.O.s… Eurgh. E.J.O.T.E. (meaning green bean – stupid or what?) stands for Los Examenes para los Jovenes Optimo, Tremendas y Excelentes, or in English: Exams for the Best, most Excellent and Tremendous Youths or something. Doesn't make so much sense in English. O.R.O. (meaning gold – slightly less stupid than ejote) stands for Oposiciones Repulsivo y Odiosas, or Nasty Repulsive Public Examinations.
Well, not much happening here, and Alfonso is looking at me oddly, so I'd better go.
Love and Snitch-covered socks,
Elena
Hermione,
She knows. She knows, she knows, SHE KNOWS!! Everybody knows. They're all laughing. Especially Ron. There is only one thing you can do: get plastic surgery and move to the middle of the Brazilian jungle and live as a recluse. You could call yourself Juanita. How did she find out? You're so obvious! This is not good. Oh God, oh God…I think I'm gonna be ill.
Yours,
Perfect Time To Panic Ltd
Hermione,
Do not listen to PTTPL. Under no circumstances must you take them seriously. Nobody knows. Well, except Elena, but she has a sixth sense. She said. Ron hasn't got a clue, he never does. You are completely and utterly safe. There will be no Juanita. Understand? Everything is just fine.
Yours,
Take a Deep Breath and Calm Down Society
HERMIONE!!!!
Hermione,
Are you still upset about the Ron thing? Or are you just pissed off? Stressed? Sorry for bothering you. Thanks anyway. If you're worried about anything you can't talk to the boys about… well, don't forget we're here too.
Ugh, how soppy.
Still, I'm serious.
Love,
Lavender
Elena,
What I am about to say is in the utmost confidence. If a word of this ever passes your lips, I will do something much, MUCH worse than turn you paisley. I don't know what yet, but I will find something, even if I have to borrow Ron's book. Are we quite clear?
If I hear you've told anyone… anyone at all… I will hurt you. If I even hear the slightest rumour, even if it's spread by someone as unreliable as the muggle tabloids, that you have told anyone anything secret about me, I will hunt you down and use all three unforgivable curses on you. At the same time. Are we quite clear about this? Completely and utterly clear? As clear as a newly washed window? We'd better be…
Yes. You're right. Ron is nice-looking. Yes, I think so. Yes, I have tingly feelings in my stomach. Eurgh. Now, if you ever make me say that again… well, I'll be angry.
As for our 'talk'… well, that didn't go so well. I dragged him out to a deserted corridor, where I apologised, he said sorry too (you're probably wondering why this is a bad thing, right?), and then we set off back to the common room, all happy and speaking, and everything. It was great. But then, of course, something ruined it.
There's this boy in our year who's a complete and utter bastard - and that's coming from someone who NEVER swears. He's always making nasty comments about us, especially Harry. Well, on this occasion, he did his usual – taunted Ron about not having money, called me a Mudblood – which I completely ignored, and I even managed to get Ron to ignore too. We just walked past him and completely ignored him, but then he called out… oh, it was so embarrassing… he called out 'Sure Weasley, just do exactly what your little girlfriend says.' His little girlfriend?? Ron turned absolutely purple and stalked off in the other direction – amazing, seeing as he rarely passes up on a chance to take a swing at Malfoy (the prattish Slytherin who started this). I was just left there, rooted to the spot, probably the colour of a beetroot. So Malfoy just stood there and laughed. I finally got the use of my limbs back, and I marched right up to him and – oh, I can't believe I actually did this, AGAIN – I smacked him around the side of his head. I just picked up my book bag and swung it at him. He staggered a bit, and then I saw a little blood trickle down his forehead, and I realised what I'd just done, so I just ran. As fast as my legs could carry me. So now not only am I not really speaking to one of my best friends – well, we're speaking, but it's really, really awkward – I'm also a juvenile delinquent. My life is over. And I have so much homework I need to do, it's piling up on my desk. I just can't concentrate. I should be trying to memorise the ingredients for a Duplication Potion, but I can't get any further than 'Take a sprig of thyme'.
I'm sorry, I've just talked about myself selfishly for this whole letter. It was very interesting to hear about all your houses. And all your exams too. I need to stop talking about myself… tell me more about your life at school. What about your friends? What did Alfonso want? How's your No-Fighting Policy working? Please write back and tell me.
Love and self-absorption,
Hermione
Lavender,
What Ron thing? There is no Ron thing. We're just fine. I'm just a little under the weather… and we've got too much homework. If I have any real problems I can't tell them, I promise I'll come to you. Happy?
Love,
Hermione
HERMIONE!!!! CHECK YOUR LAMP!!! NOTE FOR YOU!!!
Hermione,
If there's no Ron thing, why are you hardly speaking to each other? It's creepy. You've got us all worried. Harry looks worried too. Please, if there's really nothing wrong, act more normal! Remember… anything you want to tell us you can. Anything… anything at all. No matter how embarrassing… even if it involves a certain redhead… we are here…
Love,
Lavender and Parvati
PS Have you seen my eagle quill? – Lavender
Dear Juanita,
If there was ever a time to change your name and run away to the jungle, it is now. Not only does Elena know – and she even has a written confession, which could easily fall into the wrong hands – but Lavender and Parvati know too. They all know. Malfoy knew. Your life is over. Run while you still can!
Yours worriedly,
Perfect Time To Panic Ltd
Juanita,
We agree. RUN!!!!!
Yours,
Take a Deep Breath and Calm Down Society
* * * * *
I am so unbelievably sorry for massacring the Spanish language. I can't speak it so well… and acronyms in a language you don't speak are absolute HELL. If you're Spanish, I humbly apologise and I beg for your forgiveness.
Anyway… I don't know when I'll next update – I start school again on Thursday, and it's exams year – but I'll try and get at least one a week. That may or may not happen, but I'll try. So now, please, please, PLEASE leave a review. Do it for Juanita.
Thank yous!
rock_steady13 - *staggers* wow… I'm feeling very honoured right now… yay! Thank you lots! And England's really not that special once you've lived there all your life. And you can't leave your house unlocked, cuz you'll be robbed before you can say 'hey, where's my keys?' The book's by Jaclyn Moriarty, and is called Feeling Sorry for Celia. There's a lemon on the front… R/Hr forever!!
Juliette – thank you very much!
Quidditch Anyone – Thanks to you too! Trip was nice and… green.
Hermione_2000 – original? Yes… copied straight out of two of my fave books! Well… kinda. Danke! =)
tempestuous – wow! I'm definitely very honoured… although methinks you a little mad… thanks anyway.
Next chapter: Hermione's birthday! My timescale's skewiff, but hey.