"Hey, Sakura. Psst!"

My head lifts, and I glance over upon Tomoyo's warning tone. She inclines her head sharply to the front, frantically raising her eyebrows. I follow her anxious gaze and freeze up. Terada-sensei is glaring impatiently at me, apparently awaiting an answer to an unheard question.

"Kinomoto, are you planning to be studying what's outside that window for the rest of this period or are you actually going to turn some attention to this class?" His tone was not friendly. He must have been calling me for a long time.

"H-hai. I-I mean I'll study in here."

Mercifully, the bell rings. I'm still burning with embarrassment as I pack. As Tomoyo and I head outside, she turns her attention to Shaoran who is a few paces behind us and says, "You feeling better Shaoran? Heard from Sakura you got sick."

Shaoran nods. "I'm doing better."

I didn't want to turn around. The flood of disastrous memories from my visit hit me. I can't look at him.

"Hey, Sakura. Could I talk to you? Privately?" Shaoran suddenly asks.

And you just had to make this harder. I give Tomoyo a look. "Tomoyo, I'll call you tonight?"

Shaoran coasts up beside me as she walks off, his expression slightly agitated. "Um, I was wondering if you had brought- You know."

"Yes. Here." I hand him a smaller bag from within my backpack. I don't glance in his direction. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sakura!" I had gotten about a foot away before his hand grabs my arm. "What's with the cold shoulder? What did I do?"

I shake his hand off, finally looking into his face. "Nothing. It was something I did. Look, I'm sorry about what happened last night and I promise never to do it again. I had a lot on my mind and it just came out."

Confusion spread on Shaoran's face briefly, then his eyes drop when he understands. "Oh. It's okay. I did the same. I mean, I said a bunch of things." Then he examines me, his perpetual dark eyes deepening. "You all right? I mean, in class you were kind of...spacey."

"So you're telling me I can't go off daydreaming during class?" I'm completely confused, but not at the question. Shaoran hasn't asked me very often how I've been. Except for the rare occasion during card captures. But that was typical. Action equals consequence. Hurting myself equals being asked if I was hurt. For some people, inquiring of a person's well-being is hardly anything but their nature. But Shaoran was not one of those people.

"I didn't say that! I just want to know if you're doing okay. What's wrong with that?"

"You've never asked me how I am. If I fall off a roof getting Cards, okay, then you ask. What's with this sudden change? Becoming a brand new Shaoran now, aren't we?"

He broke the link, staring off somewhere else just as I anticipate. "I just wanted to know. Considering last night."

"I told you! Last night was a mistake! I had a ton on my mind and you moving away was only a small part of that. So don't think that you're the only thing that's taking space in my head." As soon as the words come out, I think twice whether they are sincerely true. I make a frustrated gesture with my hands. "Look, I have to get home. Touya was not especially happy when he found out I was with you." I did a military turn and walk away.

"You're not the only one, you know!"

I stop abruptly, turning slowly. "What's that?"

His mouth opens, then forces shut. His eyes narrows as he turns away. "Forget it."

I shrug, leaving him.

------

"I see. Well I'm sure he was in a bad mood or something."

"But Tomoyo, it just didn't sound friendly," I say doubtfully into the receiver. It was late evening, and I was catching up on the past week's' events on my cordless phone, flopped out on my bed.

"Doesn't he always sound that way? I'm sure by now you realize he's not always the nicest sometimes."

"I know. But there's just something different." I could hear myself starting to get whiny.

"Maybe you read it wrong. Maybe you were just tired."

"I was fine. I was the one nearly yelling at him, so maybe it was my fault." My tone subdues.

"You're overanalyzing this too much, Sakura. Just relax, already. Oh," Tomoyo suddenly snaps her fingers. "What did you give Li today?"

"Give?"

"You know, that bag from your backpack. I saw you hand something over to him."

"You saw that?" My eyes raise to the ceiling as I turn warm at the other end of the phone line.

"Well?"

"Uh, it was just a sweater I borrowed," I quickly reply. "Was a little cold when I came back from his place from a study session."

"You studied with him? When did this happen?" Tomoyo's voice borders a hurt edge.

My thumbnail makes its way to my mouth. I thought I told her. I said it to her already. Didn't I? "Didn't I tell you that?"

"No. The only thing you've told me was that he was sick. Nothing else." Defiance fills her tone.

"Sorry, I thought I did. Been busy." I deflate, feeling bad for her.

The faint chime of the doorbell sounds and soon a familiar voice greets Touya from downstairs. I immediately recognize its owner. "Guess who's here?" I don't wait for an answer. "Yukito-san!"

"Well, you go off and have some fun. Just don't break a leg in excitement when you're coming down the stairs."

"Will do! I mean, I won't. Break a leg." I frown. "Never mind." A quick good-bye, then a click. I feel a bit happier as I look in my small table mirror, fixing my tangled hair with a brush. I smile for effect.

"You're not gonna go all haywire around him, are you?" Kero asks in a skeptical tone as he paces in the air near my moving arm.

"Nope. And I don't go crazy in front of him any more. That's embarrassing." I set down the brush and smile even wider. I stride out the door, the chattering voices growing louder as I descend the stairs. For some reason, I stop as soon as Yukito's smiling face comes into full view. It is strange stuff. I know the bell isn't for me, but I still have that expectance that it is. Or maybe it's just wishful hoping that somebody would unexpectedly drop by and it's like a present that they would be all for me.

"Konnichiwa, Sakura!" Yukito Tsukishiro greets when he sees me.

I still recall when I told my hidden feelings for him a few days ago. And he responded nicely, very gently, which made the outcome more bearable. I didn't expect anything less. We've gone through thousands of different experiences in our lives...I wonder if he'll still remember my confession when he's an adult. Declarations like that coming from the young girl I am are bound to be forgotten in such the maturing mind. Shrugged off like old news. Who knows?

I wave. "Konnichiwa, Yukito-san. Come to get Touya out of the house? If you are, that's very helpful of you."

Touya moves a pointer finger in the air as he turns to me. "Kaijuu, Kaijuu, when will you learn? You'll never be rid of me that easily."

I don't even bother getting into the routine comeback. But between transforming cards and sorting out all my jumbled feelings and thoughts about most everything, I could seriously consider myself as some sort of monster. But if I admitted that to Touya, he would just plain not understand. He'd come up with some stupid made-up psychology, and listening to it would be more of a strain than keeping silent.

"Forget it." I wander and sit on the living room couch, hugging a throw pillow before laying back with shut eyes. I hear them move into the kitchen, Yuki naturally asking about a snack. I jump when I realize someone is sitting with me.

"Something wrong, Sakura?" Yukito's soft voice inquires.

"N-No. You just scared me." Which was true. Wasn't he in the kitchen seconds before? "I thought you just went into the kitchen with Touya."

He grins sheepishly. "Turns out your dad has an urgent errand that has to be done riiiight now so Touya's busy with that. I want to eat with him so I'm waiting." His smile lessens. "But I meant...inside you. You seem sort of sad. Something troubling you?"

I feel my eyes staring. "What do you mean? I'm just lying here." I hold the pillow up high. "With my comfy friend."

Yuki chuckles, but doesn't let me off so easy. "In your life, I'm talking about. Like Tomoyo. And the others. Oh, and Li."

My stomach clenches at the name. "Well...they're doing well." Great answer, Kinomoto. Real explanatory. "Uh, they're fine. Tomoyo's pretty excited these past couple days because she got accepted to a bunch of universities and colleges. She was so surprised when she was accepted to one of the universities she wasn't expecting to get into." I hug the pillow as I add, "It's in the States. It's kind of far, huh?" I feel the coming of a lump in my throat and I try to laugh it away.

"Yeah. Is she going to that one?"

"I'm- not sure. I haven't asked yet." I don't. I don't want to ask because I'm afraid of what'll come next. But I already know. I don't need to be told at all...

"And him?"

My stomach tightens its grip even more and the persisting aching in my throat was forcing tears to rise. My job at restraining them fails and when they hit the surface, I fake a very large yawn, knowing that eyes water whenever one did so. I rub the back of my hand over my eyes. "I'm not sure about him, either. I haven't talked with him too much lately." Again, another true statement. But not the pure truth.

"And what about you? Anything exciting like Tomoyo?"

I clear my throat, the nagging sensation subsiding slightly. "Not as much. I'm still waiting for replies. For now, I live my life vicariously. I get bits and pieces of happiness from everyone. I'm a big pot." I giggle at my words, not exactly sure if I meant what I had just said. "Other than that, just the usual." I observe his tall, seated figure. Cream-colored sweater over navy pants. Very casual. So very close to me. "And you?"

"About the same. Not too hectic. It's nice. I get to relax a bit."

I nod. I press the pillow tighter, imagining it him being the one I'm holding. My face turns hot and I pray, pray, pray that I'm not red. The laugh that escapes just kills me. My hope isn't long-lived as he says puzzled, "What's so funny? You're so red. Are you feeling all right?"

"Uh...It's just- I can imagine you spending your free time in all-you-can-eat restaurants. Stuffing yourself." I improvise, laughing again to avoid the latter question.

"I think I can imagine that too!" He joins right in.

I wasn't sure how long we were chuckling for, but Touya is suddenly right beside Yukito, frowning down at me. "And what's the big joke?"

"Hey, Touya. Just my eating habits." Yuki pats the top of the pillow and stood, his attention to his friend. "Shall we?"

Touya nods and Yukito gives me a final wave before disappearing out the front door. As soon as I hear it shut, I sit up, wishing I could have done that. Walk out the door and forget about everything within. Because just up the stairs and through one of the doors, the reminders of everything I am and need to be is right there once I enter the room. Kero is waiting now, probably bored unless there's a video game. I suppose spending some time in my room wouldn't do much harm.

Kero was shooting me with this expectant look for me to burst with speech when he saw me. When I didn't explode in rapture, he seemed half disappointed. "Aw, no news tonight? For sure I figured there'd be something of interest to hug your pillow for."

I shake my head. "Sorry to let you down, Kero. Yuki had to leave pretty quickly."

"Gotcha." Kero was about to turn his attention back to the video game he was about to flip on, but must of seen something on my face for he pauses. "Did you um, get any goodies while you were down there? Or did you finish them on the way up here?

Just chatted with Yuki. No snacks. Whimsically, I go to my desk, opening the top drawer that held the magical book. I open the cover and finger the fancy script on the back of the cover.

Something's bogging you down?

"Nothing."

"Yeah, um, that's subtle. A sad face really shows nothing dreary is spinning inside your head."

"Come on, Kero, can't you just give it a rest for once? Can't I keep some secrets to myself?"

"Sure you can. It's just a friend's right to know what's up when one of his friends looks gloomy." Kero looks dignified.

Friend's...right? "I don't get it." My stinging annoyance eases into confusion as I turn. "What do you mean?"

Kero sighs patiently. "If a friend is down, get them to tell you what's going on and then you can try to cheer them up," he says, matter-of-factly.

"I see ." I shut the drawer, book safely back inside. I go to the window, looking out at the rain that had began to fall, at the somber clouds. I didn't say anything for the longest time. Only stared out. "Shaoran's leaving."

"What?" Kero sounded taken aback.

"Yeah. In a couple days. So that's what's been taking space in my head. Happy?" I say peevishly. I slump to the floor in a mourning heap, still facing the window.

"Why didn't you say anything to me? Why did you keep it all inside?"

"I don't know!" Tears steak down my face as my head hangs. I pound the floor with a fist as I slide down to the carpet face first. "It's not fair! Why does everything have to be like this?"

"If you're mad because he's leaving, tell him."

I shrink. "It's not about him I'm so mad at. It's everything. Everyone's leaving and I can't do anything about it!" My shoulders shake. My throat hurts and burns so much I can't speak. I just let myself cry silent, pained tears. At one point, I feel a large head nuzzle against my cheek and my teary eyes discover that Kero had transformed into his true winged form, saddened golden eyes peering into mine. "I know. It does hurt."

I throw my arms around his neck, my crying now audible. He truly did understand. He said goodbye to Clow even though he hated it. "At least you won't leave me. Isn't that right?" I sobbed.

Kero did not respond. His nose nuzzles the back of my neck.

"That's right," he finally answers, very soft. "It's my destiny."


--------
A/N: Will Sakura be happy again? Find out in the next chapter!