What do I do? I just don't know! I can't believe the week has almost gone! I don't want to leave! I groan as I head to the school after tripping out the front door of my house. It was the end of the week. End of my stalling. Wei told me I should say my last goodbyes to my friends before I leave. I have to say something to Sakura, but what?

In front of the shut classroom door, I hesitate before pulling it open. Tomoyo's in her usual spot, chatting with...Sakura. She's already here. A tug resists in my heart and I shove it away, going to my desk in the familiar corner. As soon as I sit, Sakura suddenly stops talking with her best friend and fiddles with her belongings.

Tomoyo watches her briefly before she says to me, "Li, konnichiwa. How was your night last night?"

Something funny was in that question. Her voice didn't sound casual. It was planned, lilting. "All right," I answer cautiously.

"Good. Don't go studying too much now. You may turn more into a crab than you already are." She turns to her notebook, scribbling in it.

I frown in bewilderment. " 'Crab'? What's that mean?"

"Tomoyo, stop. You're not helping!" Sakura hisses at her.

Another strange thing. Sakura's never like that. At least, not very often. And when she is, she's certainly not in the best of moods. I take out my notebook and pencil case and methodically take each individual item out from the case. Why am I waiting? But I can't decide what ot say yet. But I have to, have to. My head drops into my hands.

"Shaoran."

I nearly fall out of my chair. There's my name again. Coming from the same mouth as before. Sakura's head is inclined to me, gazing in weariness. Tomoyo has conveniently left her desk to the other end of the room. "Yes?"

Emerald green eyes lower. "It's time."

I stare down at the whiteness of my open notebook, uncertain of what to say.

She tries a smile for me. Almost bravely. Then I have to say it. "Are you...feeling okay?" Hearing those words feels foreign, but it's a kind I can tolerate. It doesn't bother me much. "You...didn't get much sleep last night?"

"I'm okay." She doesn't volunteer any information about sleep.

I lean forward. "So-"

The ringing of the bell cuts me off. Sakura shrugs. "Class."

So when the day does end, it comes to no surprise that I'm even more in my slump than this morning. And even more surprising to me is that Sakura actually speaks once we're outside. By ourselves.

"So when do you leave?" The question is tossed, almost careless.

"You want me to?" I'm in confusion. What was going on with her? Just a week before she had been weeping all over my shoulder and now...this reaction?

"Wanted to know. What's the big deal about that?"

"Well," I retort a bit angry, "From the way you sound, you like the idea of my leaving."

"Hey, what are you getting your buttons all pushed for? I was only asking!" Now Sakura is the one getting upset.

"Never mind." I shake my head a little. I don't even understand why I went crazy. My eyes shut tightly. Everything hurt. "Meet me at the playground near the school. In an hour. I...want to tell you something."

"In an hour, then." Sakura formally bows, then leaves.

I head home and clean up and an hour passes like minutes. When I arrive, Sakura is already seated on a wooden bench, looking down at some birds near her feet. Hands folded in her lap, legs square to her shoulders...her expression is so forlorn that a lump rises in my throat. I was silent when I got to the park, but she still looks up.

"Hi." I go to her, lingering before finally sitting. As if the birds can tell a serious conversation is about to be initiated, some flew off, wings beating the humid air. A few stray behind, as if eavesdropping. I vaguely wonder if they could understand the human language, but the thought left as soon as it came. "Been here long?"

"Dunno." Sakura says listlessly, her attention on the birds.

I rub my thighs apprehensively before taking in a breath. "I'm leaving in two days."

She hardly responds. "Do you ever wonder if birds can understand us? I mean, if we go out and play and they see us, do they know we're doing just that or do they think we're dancing funny?"

My heart snaps clean in two. "It'd be interesting if they could comprehend our actions," I carefully answer, wanting so badly to stop hurting myself and her.

"So this is how it's turns out." Sakura turns away, struggling to hold in her tears.

"I'm-"

"Sorry? It won't make you stay. So don't say it."

My eyes lower. "What else can I say?"

"Nothing. You say nothing."

I remain silent for a very long time. "Can you look at me? I don't particularly like talking to someone's back."

Sakura whirls on me, her eyes shining with diamond tears. "For what? So I can take a nice one last look before you go? And I'll never see you again?"

My face is drawn, voice small. "Stop it."

"Why?" She snaps sharply, causing me to flinch. "So you don't have to hear the truth? You can pretend that it doesn't hurt me at all if I don't make a peep?"

"Stop it! Stop it!" I cover my ears with my hands, eyes squeezed shut. "Don't talk about this like I'm not a person! I'm the one leaving! You think it's just you that gets hurt?" My hands ball at my sides as I jump up. I glare, amazed at how I could go from saddening calm to fuming anger in only a few seconds. "Only you?"

Sakura's face goes blank like I'd just slapped her. She was so intent on winning, so intent on blaming me. She forgot that I was the person most affected of all. The tears that slide down her cheeks are quiet, defeated. "I didn't realize. I'm-"

"Sorry?" I mock her words dryly, unable to stop myself.

Her face turns red as she sniffs. "Yeah."

I walk to a large oak tree some feet in front of us, running my hand down its gnarled and rough trunk. I don't want to see her cry, to see what I had done with my own hand.

"Please don't go."

Her voice was close, so close it was practically beside my ear. "I can't."

"Why? Couldn't you say anything to stay?"

I try to push away the ache of her desperation. "I do truly need to leave. I put it off before for a little while, but now I can't." I face her, slowly. "Believe me."

Sakura nods miserably. "I have to."

Filled with a glow of making amends, I try to sound cheerful. "Hey, we can still keep in touch."

Sakura holds up a hand. "Don't start. I know the drill."

I deflate, leaning against the tree for support. "Two days. That's the time I have left in Japan."

"Two days." She swallows hard, more tears flowing. She covers her face with her hands.

"Oh, Sakura." In a stride, I had her with me, her head buried in my shirt. Her shoulders shake and she tries to pull away, but I hold on tight. Luckily there's nobody around so she could cry all she wanted without onlookers.

"I-I can't believe it," Sakura trembling voice catches as she regains her breathing.

"What?"

"This day. It- It's come so quickly. I tried not to think about it. I really did!"

"I think you did pretty well," I say hoarsely, knowing I did the exact thing.

"But then the time comes and that's when I think about everything. All the little things, too."

I pull away, perhaps too quick, my face burning at the rage of mixed emotions churning inside me. I get both of us walking down a cement path, wondering what next to do. What to say.

"Do you...need help?" Sakura said first.

I look at her questioningly.

"You know, packing and that sort of stuff."

Her request as a nice gesture. But I don't think I'd be able to handle her going through my belongings and handing them over to me one by one while the sorrow on her face is just unbearable. And even though she knew me...I still feel some sort of invasion of my privacy. An automatic defense.

"I'll be fine. I don't think I'll need to be packing a whole lot anyway. You know how I am with efficiency." And she does. I'm the one always yelling at her to hurry up when doing things. I always had to rush.

"Right. But if you do..."

"You'll be the first." A moment of silence is me, then I suddenly say, "Will you miss me a lot?"

Sakura's eyes shift over, not looking overly surprised at the thought, but most certainly at the delivery. "Always."

"Not always. Don't make it like that." I abruptly stop, hands fisting and opening.

"What?" She stares at me in bewilderment.

"I don't want you to expect me back. Don't pin your hopes that you'll see me again one day. You'll....you'll drive yourself crazy waiting. It might not happen. I....Just live on like I was a friend who moved away."

"And so I don't get the choice of waiting for my distant friend?"

"Please. I just don't want to cause you this much pain. I'm leaving, and that's all I want you to expect. Nothing more." I feel strangely chilly. "No strings attached," I add in a whisper.

Sakura's response is startling. A sad chuckle rose from her throat, a closed hand on her chest. "You're sweet."

The iciness draws away as a wave of heat passes through my entire body. "Um, you're not mad?"

"If you're this considerate?" Gazing with incredulous eyes, she firmly shakes her head. "Not at you. There's no way can I be mad at you if you tell me that truth. You didn't leave unannounced and let me pine over you, maybe years. At least this way......I'm prepared. And I won't be so angry at your leaving for so long."

We walk again. Somehow, we end up in front of her house. No set decision. Just fate. It may as well have been this way since I was planning to walk her home at one time or another. "You're here," I announce upbeat, aloof.

"Us. We're here." Sakura begins pushing me from behind, knowing I'd resist. "You're coming in."

"No! I don't-"

"You may not do this again. Maybe ever."

That was cold splash of reality. Which made me spin around and grab her by the shoulders, forcing her to stop. "I'll go."

"Good. I was going to get you into that house in any way. Including my special way." She lifted the necklace pendant from under her shirt, showing her Star key.

"And that would've won me over." I roll my eyes, feeling immensely better.

"Of course. I could've put you to sleep and then easily drag you in. But that's already telling. Whoops." Tucking the necklace under her collar, she moves to the front door and fumbles around for her house key. "Coming?"

"Yes. Right now. Sure." I don't move.

"There's nothing to be shy about. Nobody's going to bite your head off."

"Only your exceptionally nice brother who's oh-so-fond of me."

"Well, I'll knock him on the head if he acts up." Sakura laughs. "Pinky Promise."

"I trust you. No need for the pinky." I cross the space between us, planting myself solidly on the doorstep.

"Then welcome us." Sakura opens the door, her smile angelic as she sweeps an arm through the open doorway.


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A/N: Goodbyes are never easy. Last chapter to come! Review please!