Disclaimer: I own many, many orange books full of crap about indices and co-ordinates. I would gladly swap them for the rights to Harry Potter, but, somehow, I don't see this happening.
A/N Hello! I'm now back, and feeling well again (at least, as well as anyone could possibly be with the amount of coursework I have… six pieces??? Are they TRYING to kill me??) and so hopefully this chapter will be longer, and better than the last one. Hopefully…
Dedicated to chocolate… the sweet, cocoa-based product that gets me through the day…
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Hermione,
Yes, that is what he just said. This is just what you've been dreaming of, isn't it? Those little words... Oh… isn't it perfect? He really did say that. Ron Weasley truly said: 'I love…' Now, just wait for him to finish his sentence. Any second now, Ron Weasley will admit his (very well hidden) feelings for you. We await developments with anticipation. We are so happy for you!
Love,
The Young Romance Association
Dear Ms Granger.
Yes, that is what he just said. You are not going mad. He really did just utter those three little words…
"I love butterbeer."
We're sorry, that is exactly what he said. We could go through the long process of slowing down and speeding up these words so that they really do seep into your brain, but quite frankly, we cannot be bothered. That's what he said. Take it or leave it.
Yours,
The Instant Replay Society
Ms Granger,
WE knew that he wasn't going to say that he loved you. You knew it too, didn't you? Even you realise that Ron Weasley will never, ever, not even in a million years notice you. He doesn't care. In fact, we don't care either. Get over it.
Cold Hard Truth Association
Ms Granger,
We understand that you are in shock at what Ron said, but you have to say SOMETHING. Anything. Except 'Banana hammock'. For the love of all things prickly, please don't say that. Say something normal, something that gives the impression that your whole world DIDN'T come crashing down around your ears when you heard the word 'butterbeer'. Say something witty, something interesting, something that will stun him into wishing that he had said 'you' instead. Or you could try: 'me too'. Whichever you prefer.
Yours,
Prompts At Your Service
Elena,
I can't help but notice that you haven't written in a while. Three whole days in fact. Are you okay? Are you ill? Have you got too much homework? Have I inadvertently annoyed you so much that you cannot even bear to write back to me?
I talk about me too much, don't I? I ramble on and on and on about my life, and how much Ron has annoyed me, or how worried I am about Harry, or how much work I have. I should listen to you more. I now resolve to not talk about myself anymore in this letter. In fact, just to make absolutely sure I don't bore you, I will end this letter right here. Please write back soon.
Hermione
There are twelve known uses of dragon's blood, all discovered by Albus Dumbledore. The first, and probably most widely known of these is its ability to
Hey 'Mione, going to Hogsmeade on Saturday?
Ron, this is a timed essay!
I know. Are you going?
You can't write on my timed essay!
Why not?
Because it's a timed essay!!!
Right. So, ARE you going?
Professor Connor is going to notice that you keep grabbing my scroll.
No she won't, she's too busy reading her Witch's Weekly. Are you going to Hogsmeade??
Yes, yes I'm going to bloody Hogsmeade. Can I get on with my essay now?
Wouldn't you much rather be talking to me?
No. This essay is very important. We have our O.W.L.s in eight months time! These practice essays are essential.
It's only an essay on dragon's blood.
Dragon's blood is an important part of the curriculum! We have to know all about it for our Defence Against the Dark Arts exam.
Yes, but I'm much more interesting, aren't I?
That's a matter of opinion.
I'm hurt…Oh, stop pretending and let me get on with this essay. Please?
Fine. But you owe me…HERMIONE!!! OVER HERE!!
We're having a girly sleepover party tonight. Wanna join?
Lavender
P.S. Noticed you and Ron squabbling today in DADA. What's going on there?
Lavender,
We sleep in the same room every night. So this sleepover party idea is a little odd don't you think?
Hermione
P.S. We weren't squabbling. Ron and I are friends again. He just insisted on writing all over my essay. Honestly, boys.
HERMIONE!!! LOOK AT CROOKSHANKS' COLLAR!! NOTE!!!
Doesn't Crookshanks look adorable? It was Parvati's idea to put the note on him. Personally, I think this party thing is inspired. Are you in or not?
Lavender
Lavender,
I'd be sleeping in here anyway. So I'm in, I guess. Just, please, please don't stay up giggling too late like last time. We have lessons in the morning. In fact, wouldn't it be much more sensible to have this party thing on Saturday night after the Hogsmeade trip?
Hermione
HERMIONE!!
Yes, that would be much more sensible. Can't think why we never thought of that.
Lavender
Viktor,
Thank you very much for the present – it was beautiful! I would love to visit you at Christmas, but unfortunately I don't think that I'll be able to. I have to work hard for my O.W.L.s, and my parents probably wouldn't let me, and I really should be at Hogwarts. I've spent Christmas with Ron and Harry every year since I was 12 years old, and it's sort of a tradition. And Harry really needs his friends this year, even if he won't admit it. I can't just leave him at Christmas. I'm really sorry. It was lovely of you to invite me.
Hermione
Elena,
I'm sorry, I know I said that I wouldn't write to you all about myself again, but I'm dying here. I have to talk to someone, and you're really the only candidate. I can't to talk Harry, I definitely can't talk to Ron, Lavender and Parvati are out of the question. So I'm afraid I really have to talk to you.
It's about Ron.
Now there's a surprise!
Remember that I was meant to meet Ron to apologise? Well, I went along, all went well, we kissed and made up (not like that, so wipe that smirk off your face), then Ron got this odd look on his face. Almost like… I don't know… like he had a secret. He started shifting around from one foot to the other, and his face turned purple. His ears were almost black, and he was making a strange whiney breathing noise. Then he gave me this strange look, and he opened his mouth, but no words came out. So we stood there for a while, and then, suddenly, Ron came out with the thing I least expected. He looked me right in the eye, and said "I love…" and then he just stopped. My heart skipped a beat, and we just stood there for what seemed like an age. I really don't think I breathed at all. I don't know what I must have looked like. Finally, he said something. He finished his sentence. And you know what he said? You could not in a million years guess what he said, so I won't even give you space to try.
He said: 'butterbeer'. BUTTERBEER??? Of all the stupid things he could have said. He loves butterbeer?? I don't know why I thought he might actually say… well, you know. In fact, it was pretty stupid to believe that, if even for a second. I don't know what I was thinking. But still… butterbeer? I don't think I will ever understand him.
He's being really nice at the moment. It's a little odd, but I could probably get used to it.
Okay, maybe not. But I'm not complaining! Well, maybe a little. When I'm fighting with him, as horrible as it may be sometimes, I'm used to it. It's normal. But when he's being this nice… it just throws me. I haven't a clue what to do half the time. He's got me so confused.
I'm worried about you. Are you okay? Has anything happened to you? Are you ill? Please, even if you don't write a reply, could you at least let me know you're alright? Just get one of your friends to scrawl a note or something. I really don't mind.
I miss my sarcasm. I haven't been sarcastic more than about three times this letter. Worrying. Ah well. Write to me soon.
Love,
Hermione
Hermione, dear,
Your father and I have something very important to tell you. This may come as a bit of a shock, so you may like to sit down first. Lie down, even. Are you comfortable?
I don't know quite how to tell you this, but…we're pregnant. Well, I am at least. In seven months time you're going to have a lovely little brother or sister! We've just come back from the doctor's and they confirmed it… I've suspected it for quite some time now. Doctor Yiu says that there are no complications, although I should be careful, as there are more likely to be problems with a woman of my age.
Just think of it! Your aging mother is going to have another child! Are you happy, dear? They can go in the spare room – I've started looking out for baby accessories in green and yellow. There was the most adorable little frog baby-grow in Mothercare, but your father wouldn't let me buy it – he said we should wait until the baby's born. We've been discussing names as well, but once again, your father is being his stubborn, pig-headed self. He says that if it's a boy, we have to name it Charles, after him, and if it's a girl, we should name it Miriam, after his mother. Now, I've got nothing against those names… I just don't want to call my baby that. What do you think of Persephone for a girl? Or Jason for a boy? Have you got any ideas? Oh, we're so excited here.
Hope you're well, and enjoying yourself at school.
Lots of love and kisses,
Mum and Dad
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Dun dun DUN!!! Right… like that really makes a huge difference to this story. Oh well. It could I suppose. But it's not one of those bloody prophecy babies. Anyhoo…the butterbeer line is from somewhere, except they actually say 'I love cake'. Does anyone know where this is from?? Please tell me, it's driving me insane.
And a special prize to anyone who can come up with a realistic, feasible, completely conceivable reason for Percy to write a letter to Hermione. Of course, seeing as I live in UK, this prize will be sent through the Royal Mail, and therefore will most likely never reach you. But it's the thought that counts, right? And bear in mind that I like Percy… a lot. That's why I want him to have a little cameo. So be nice!
A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed… hit the big 5-0!! Yay!
Thank you to…
J. – Hmm… is there any way I could get that Society into the story? I'm sure there must be…
bitethepenguin – well, thanks for coming back. We missed you. We being… um… ok, just me.
tempestuous – yay! You like Elena! I'm being very good with my homework today – I'm doing things that aren't even due in for another week or so. 0_0
EarthWitch-14 – 46 pages?? Is it really that long?? Wow… I'm unbelievably happy that you liked it so much. I am very proud that I'm making you read the book. It's fantabulous! Yes, I have about 9 other fanfics I've written, all on my author's page, but this is probably the longest I've ever written. =)
AngelGurl – thanks! I don't think I did do that society… but I don't know, my memory's awful too. I'll put it in somewhere…
Quidditch, Anyone? – I think this chapter's longer… I can't believe that someone could be so unbelievably cruel as to make you write responses on such a good book. That's just nasty. But still, you're lucky to get to read such good books! My mum's class read Harry Potter when it first came out. And I get stuck with Macbeth? So not fair. Well, except for the Sean Bean part…
Adi – thanks
SatanicGnomes – I would gladly read any newspaper mentioning Ron anywhere… very sad. And I have updated! I'm neglecting my maths coursework to do so, so I hope you're happy. Mrs Kite probably won't be quite so pleased… but hey, I'm sure I can get a good enough mark so that I'm allowed to take it for A-Level…
Splotchy the Missing Spoon – you should reread the book! But anyway… thank you very much!
Hermione 2000 – you really should read the real thing. Now! Unless you've already read it, in which case, you should read it again! I have a very vague idea where this is going… very vague indeed… Thank you so much for putting me on your website! Or linking to me…or whatever. Thank you!!
My hands hurt. I should never ever become a typist, like Dobby the Tipist. But you don't need to know that… until next time! Sorry, if I bored you.